Dark Gold (28 page)

"Well, Joshua, I do not know," Aidan answered seriously, giving the matter consideration. "Puppies can be a significant amount of trouble. Marie and Stefan have many duties, keeping the household running. To be fair, they would have to be consulted also. This is not a decision to be made lightly. In any case, before you take the issue further, I think discussing it with your sister should be your primary starting point."

Joshua shrugged and grinned engagingly up at Alexandria. "She already said we could have one if we ever found a place that would let us."

Alexandria tried to focus, but her eyes were burning even behind the extremely dark glasses Aidan had insisted she wear. The car windows, too, were darkly tinted to help block out the sun, but it still felt as if a thousand needles were stabbing at her when the light touched her face. It was terrifying. And it meant that once again Aidan had been telling her the truth.

"We haven't been in Aidan's home long enough to know if we're even going to stay, Joshua." She ignored the fingers tightening around her neck. "And it isn't fair to saddle Marie with such a job so early. Let's wait and see what happens. I'll be starting work soon, and we're all just settling in. I'm not saying no. I'm just saying we should wait a little bit longer, okay?"

"But, Alex…" There was a whining note in Joshua's voice.

"I think Alexandria is being very fair, Joshua." Aidan's tone brooked no argument, and Joshua subsided immediately.

She was oddly grateful to Aidan. Ordinarily Joshua would have tried to wear her down. And right now she was so tired it seemed difficult to think or function properly. Her eyes were streaming, and the muted sunlight was searing her arms and face. She wanted to cry, to scream against the fate that had done this to her. All along she had hoped Aidan wasn't really telling her the truth. That he merely had some devious reason for trying to convince her to believe him.

We will be home soon
, cara. The words moved through her mind, wrapping her in velvet and warmth like the comfort of his arms.

"I can't accept this." She said it aloud, oblivious to the fact that Joshua sat between them, all ears. "I just can't, Aidan." It was a measure of her state of mind that she had said anything that might upset Joshua. She was always so careful around him.

Aidan's hand slid lower down her back, tangling in her silky hair, linking them together. "Do not worry so. All will be well," he said, easily smoothing over the moment.

The car pulled to a stop, and Stefan opened the door on Aidan's side. Instantly unfiltered sunlight poured in, a streak of heat and light, and Alexandria knew immediately that Stefan had been instructed to open Aidan's door rather than her own. Aidan, as always, was protecting her from her own folly. Even with his large frame blocking out most of the light, throwing a protective shadow over her, she clenched her teeth against the burning sensation. With her eyes closed behind the dark glasses, she kissed the top of Joshua's head. "Have a good day, Josh. See you tonight." She was astonished that she could sound so normal.

"Will you be there when I get home?" he asked anxiously. He still hated letting her out of his sight, still feared he would lose her. Lately, the feeling had crept into his dreams—nightmares, really—that Alexandria was gone far from him forever. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and buried his face on her shoulder.

"What is it, Josh?" At once, her own fears and physical pain were swept aside so that she could comfort him.

"Nothing bad is going to happen to you, is it?" His anxiety was in his voice, in the tautness of his small body.

Alexandria wanted to answer him, to reassure him, but the words caught in her throat and refused to come out. Only a tiny sound escaped, of something between terror and pain.

"I will be with Alexandria while you are at school, Joshua," Aidan said softly, the smooth, easy pitch of his voice so pure, it was impossible not to believe him. "I will never allow anything or anyone to harm her. You have my word on that. And even if she is resting when you get home, she will be up in the evening to be with you."

In his sister's arms, Joshua visibly relaxed, and Aidan patted the boy's head, a rush of affection unexpectedly washing over him. Joshua was wrapping himself around his heart.

But behind the dark glasses, Aidan's eyes were restless, searching, an uneasiness growing in him. He was able to tolerate the light of morning, but the price of being Carpathian, a creature of the darkness, would eventually steal up on him and claim his great strength.

"I'll be home at two-thirty," Joshua announced like a little adult, and he kissed Alexandria one last time.

"Your lunch," Stefan reminded him, handing the boy the backpack Marie had purchased for him a few days earlier.

"Thanks, Stefan," Joshua called as he ran after a boy who had already become his friend. "Jeff! Hey! Wait up."

Alexandria tried to watch him run, but the light nearly blinded her, like needles piercing her pupils, making them water continually. She had no option but to close her eyes tightly. She drew her knees up and huddled miserably against the back seat. Aidan shifted, a mere rustling on the rich leather, but she could feel the warmth and comfort of his solid frame beside her. Still, she didn't want his comfort. She didn't want anything to do with him. He had promised Joshua that he would look after her, that she would always be there for the boy, but she couldn't face living the life of a creature existing off the blood of others. No sun. No day. No real sharing of Joshua's life. She groaned softly and covered her face with her hands.

Stefan shut the door, blocking out the terrible light, and Aidan's arm circled her slender shoulders. "It will not be like this for all time,
cara
."

"It's not even nine o'clock in the morning. The sun is barely up yet." Sobs were trying to push past the lump in her throat.

"Your skin must become accustomed to daylight slowly." She felt the brush of his mouth on the top of her head.

Stefan started the car.

"Wait," Aidan commanded, and Stefan obeyed instantly, turning in his seat in inquiry. Aidan remained silent, scanning the surrounding area, a slight frown touching his mouth. "Perhaps we could use the services of Vinnie del Marco and Rusty. Please get them here immediately, and instruct them to remain with Joshua until he is safe within the walls of our home. Arrange for one of their associates to remain with Marie as she goes about her business, and please ensure that she postpones as many errands as possible." His voice was even and calm, without alarm, yet it frightened Alexandria.

"What is it?" she demanded. Stefan was asking no questions. Obviously he was well aware of the significance of Aidan's orders. "Tell me. Joshua's my brother. Is he in some kind of danger?"

Aidan's arm tightened around her as the car pulled away from the school, preventing her from leaping from the moving vehicle in an attempt to get back to Joshua. Alexandria struggled, but he was enormously strong. "It will be taken care of."

"You said vampires can't take the dawn! Who else would hurt him? He's just a little boy, Aidan. Bring him back to the house!" Her voice was veering out of control, bordering on hysteria.

"Joshua needs to live a normal life. Nothing will harm him. Vinnie and Rusty, very reliable bodyguards, will protect him. Joshua is not like us, Alexandria. He remains in the world of humans. We must return to the house and the sleeping chamber until the sun begins to sink."

She hated his voice. So gentle, so compelling, mesmerizing her into doing anything he wanted. So reasonable, while she was out of control. He appeared not to notice her struggles, her hysteria. He made her feel her protests were childish, her behavior unreasonable. She took a deep breath and fought to regain control. "Let go, Aidan. I'm all right now."

"I think I will hold you just a bit longer,
piccola
. I am in your mind, and I know that you seek to deceive both of us with your false composure. Relax, now, just breathe with me, and you will see that I have taken care of everything. Joshua will be safe with the arrangements I have made."

"I don't think you quite understand," she enunciated distinctly. "I am Joshua's sister. I am the one to decide what is safe for him or not. I want him with me."

"He cannot be with you, Alexandria. It is impossible," Aidan said patiently. His thumb found the frantic pulse at her throat and gently stroked it. "Joshua will remain in school."

"It isn't your affair. I want him home."

"Do you think arguing with me is going to change what is? You are what you are,
cara mia
. There is nothing that can be done." When she tried to move away from him, his arm prevented her escape.

"This arrangement is not going to work, Aidan. I refuse to allow you to dictate what I can or can't do with Joshua. It isn't your business." Furious, she strained harder to get away from him, but she was beginning to feel so very tired.

Aidan cradled her head against his chest, his hand wrapped around her throat, her life's pulse beating into his palm. "There is no way for you to live apart from me, Alexandria, and in your heart you know it is true. Perhaps that is why you struggle so desperately. You are not yet ready to surrender your freedom into my keeping."

"I hate you." He didn't understand at all. From a very early age, she had been forced to take control of situations. She was used to it now. Liked it. She was good at it. Having someone else dictate her actions, tell her what she could or couldn't do, was terrifying. And she feared that Joshua was slowly but surely being taken from her.

She made herself go limp, and she did what Aidan said. Breathed in. Breathed out. She felt the familiar push at her mind and tried to resist it. But even that was not something she could control any longer. He was too familiar with her blocks, her defenses. She blanked her mind, picturing a chalkboard and erasing everything that came across it.

Cara,
trust me a little longer. I know what is best for Joshua. He will have to learn to face some things on his own, just as Marie and Stefan and their children have had to do. Bodyguards will ensure that he is safe
.

She did not respond. Where had her life gone? How had things gotten so crazy? So out of control? Perhaps Aidan had simply hypnotized her, and all the things that were happening were merely tricks her mind was playing on her. Or the truth could be even worse. If he was a vampire, if vampires existed, and the legends and tales were true, he could make her his slave. Make her do anything. She had to find out if Aidan spoke the truth or if she was under some spell.

She feared now that she had stayed because every time his golden eyes rested on her with possession and need, she had melted inside, had wanted him, wanted someone to feel that intensity for her. Sex. Had she allowed him to try to separate Joshua from her for sex? God, she hated herself. Hated what she had become. She needed to find a doctor. A psychiatrist. None of this could possibly be real. She belonged in a padded cell. She needed help. Desperately.

The car pulled into the garage, but it was still not dark enough for her vulnerable eyes. Stefan opened her door, holding out a hand to help her. She took it meekly, determined to hide her intended defiance. She could feel Aidan's golden gaze, his all-seeing eyes probing her face beneath her dark glasses, but he didn't say anything.

She hurried into the house, and the relief from the sunlight was instantaneous. The heat searing her skin was gone, and the needles stabbing at her eyes disappeared. She realized that the heavy drapes were pulled, darkening the interior. Biting down on her lower lip, she made her way through the house, uncertain where to go, which way to turn. She finally reached the huge front entryway, yet she could not go out. Exhausted and in despair, she collapsed by the door and wrapped her arms defensively around her upraised knees. She was terrified for her own sanity.

In the kitchen Aidan hesitated, wanting to follow her yet oddly uncertain, suddenly afraid for her.

Marie and Stefan exchanged a look of anxiety. Aidan never showed signs of indecision, of uncertainty. Alexandria had shaken his self-possession. And they, better than anyone, knew just how dangerous he could be without his vigilant self-discipline, his taut self-control. "Aidan, perhaps if I talked to her," Marie ventured.

"She is so frightened of me, she cannot even trust her own mind, her senses. She knows in her heart that we are one, that I would never harm her, but still she refuses, in her mind, to acknowledge it. She thinks perhaps she is deranged."

"Most people could never accept what you are demanding of her, Aidan," Marie counseled softly. "She is young and innocent, not a worldly woman. Her life has been very narrow. Joshua is her reason for living. She fears him slipping away from her. She needs to feel in control of something."

His golden eyes slashed at her. "What are you saying?"

"You are very dominating. You command people. You make all the decisions. Alexandria is still struggling just to accept what has happened to her. You, better than any of us, know this, yet you still demand she do exactly as you wish at all times."

He shoved a hand through his tawny mane. "I have given her more leeway than I have ever given anyone. You do not understand the demands of a lifemate. I can barely manage to think straight. I need relief, Marie, as crass as that sounds. The beast in me grows stronger each day. I do not know how long I can successfully wrestle him down."

"You are that beast, Aidan," Marie said severely. "Alex is a child. A terrified child. And she has good reason to be. Give her the time she needs to adjust."

"What of the others seeking her? And there are others. At least two more. You read the papers. A serial killer on the loose, they say. But it is the vampires. I feel their presence. They seek her. They can feel her, that she is one of us and unattached as yet."

"That is not so. You are her lifemate. Your blood is in her as hers is in you. There is no way one of them could lure her from you. In all our years together, I have learned that much. It is your Carpathian nature blinding you, Aidan, your urge to keep your lifemate always under your wing, to claim and protect her. Despite outward appearances, that part of you is still wild and uncivilized. But Alexandria is just as essentially human. She was not born Carpathian. She has no idea what is expected of her, what is even happening to her. She doesn't understand yet."