Daring the Wild Sparks (6 page)

When we walk in, Ricky, seated at the long table, can’t help the complacent grin he bestows us, particularly aimed at me. Finn walks us over to the chairs next to him. Of course. Those two most definitely were separated at birth.
No lie. Ricky keeps staring at me as we sit, instantly unnerving me more so. I want to know what Finn told him when they were out. Ricky must hate me for the demands I pile upon his best friend. I’m sure he, like Morgan does to me, tells Finn he’s better off dumping my ass.

Finn reaches under the table and picks my hand up from my lap, sliding his fingers between mine, pressing them tightly together. I know he’s staring at me, but I keep my gaze concentrated on the steaming bowl of corn in front of my plate. Finn tugs at my hand and I sense him leaning toward me, however, Ricky interrupts his quest and he pulls away from me to answer him.

Simone takes the seat across from me. As she does, she glances at Finn, who is talking to Ricky, and then to me. Right off, she notices Finn’s arm against me and surmises that we’re holding hands. Her blue eyes sparkle, but she warily smiles at me, cautious of not being too overzealous like her mom. I give her a trifling smile in return. “Good folding job,” I compliment as a ploy to distract her.

“Thanks. It’s an important life skill to have.” She laughs and continues to watch us.

“You’ll have to teach me. I wouldn’t want to get through life not knowing your secret.”

“I’ll teach you and then you can fold your own napkins for yours and Wilderness’ table.” Finn looks over to her at the mention of his name. “What now, Sims? What stories are you making up about me?”
I remember that he had teased Pam similarly at Chimborazo.

“Nothing that you haven’t already heard,” she bluntly replies with an eye roll.

“Yeah, right.” Finn turns to Ricky and laughs at something that his BFF said to him. Finn’s fingers rub mine, so I know he’s at least partially with me.

Julie starts passing the food around as Chrissie takes her seat next to Simone and Julie. I let go of Finn’s hand as Simone passes me the mashed potatoes. I take a small scoopful and then give them to Finn. Simone then hands me a tray of broiled cod.

After all the food is passed around, Julie leads all of us into a prayer. Everyone except for me makes the sign of the cross. Again, I feel left out. When will I ever fit in?

Julie announces, “There are a couple things I wanted to talk to you about. First, Simone, why don’t you tell everybody what you and I recently did?”

She finishes chewing around her sudden grin. “Are you sure I should bring it up now?” Julie readily nods and we all turn to stare at Simone, eagerly awaiting her news. “Well, Mom and I were playing around on the Internet one night and—”

Ricky interrupts, “Oh, no. That’s never a good thing for you to do. Did you get a job as a topless waitress or something?” Everyone snickers and Simone scowls at him.

“Gross, no. Shut up, Officer Tesco. Anyway, Mom and I found this website. Well, we both became ordained ministers…for free. It’s actually legal and legit.”

“Why would you do that?” Chrissie asks and looks at her mother and then to her sister. She then skims her gaze to Finn as it dawns on her. Knowingly smiling, she slowly says, “
Oh
… Can you guess why, little brother?” She smirks as her eyes widen and she shakes her head.

Finn takes a guarded, deep breath. “Really?”

Julie replies, “Yep. We can even perform funerals, baptisms, vow renewals or whatever.”

“Are you serious?” Chrishelle asks her mother. “Why would you honestly do that?” Julie and Simone collectively grin
, acutely regarding Finn and me, similar to vultures honing in on their prey.

Oh, shit. This is
not
good.

“So that
is
it, then,” Chrissie says. “You really did do it so you can marry your son off?”

“Yes!” Simone clasps her hands together like she’s at a Pearl Jam concert. “Surprise!”

Finn whips his head over to his sister. “What do you mean ‘surprise’?”

Julie says, “Well, Simone and I were thinking that maybe one of us could, you know, perform a marriage ceremony for you two while you’re here.”

What. The. Fuck
?

“Huh?” Finn asks, totally thrown off. I peer at him and his abysmal scowl shows his utter confusion, as does mine; although, I’m not nearly as confused as he seems to be.

Simone offers, “We know it wouldn’t be legal right now since you haven’t filed for a marriage license, but we could still perform a ceremony.”

Julie excitedly imparts, “We could also perform it and fudge the date when we sign the license!”

Shaking his head, Ricky covers his ears and shouts, “I can’t be hearing this!”

Finn angles his head and irritably rolls his eyes. “Oh, that’s a good way to start off a marriage, by not making it even legal!”

Simone says, “We wanted to do this so maybe you can go back to Virginia on Monday and apply for the license. Virginia is so much easier than Delaware because there isn’t a waiting period and no blood test. Nonresidents of Delaware have to wait 96 hours from the time they apply. All we’d have to do is register with the city as officiates.”

I gingerly look at Finn and then at Julie and to Simone. “Jeez, you guys have really researched and prepared for this.”

“Yes, we have!” Julie beams happily. “So, Happy Easter, Finn and Hadley!”

“Whoa, hold on
.” Finn drops his fork noisily onto his plate. “Who says we’re doing this?”

“We do, big bro. Wilderness, you
know
you want to marry Hadley. We
all
know it. Just admit it already and let’s get this over with.”

He glares at her. “Bite one, Simone.” If that doesn’t pronounce, “I don’t,” then I’m not sure what else would.

Julie almost bounces in her chair. “Come on, Finn! We’ll even drive down to Richmond Monday morning and you two can apply that morning. We can have you married by lunch.”

Angling his head toward his mother, he scathingly replies, “Yeah, because I really want to spend our honeymoon in the backseat of my car in a damn parking lot.”

Crossing my arms, I softly clear my throat, trying to curb his vitriol. Finn circumspectly glances at me, but I unwittingly look away from him and out the window as Simone observes our silent exchange.

Chrissie states, “Just do it, already, Finn. Damn. We all know you two are meant to be together forever. Just marry Hadley.”

“Not you, too?” he fumingly barks and I tear my gaze from the window back to him. His clenched jaw wavers as he deliberates his glare on his mother.

Ricky laughs. “They got you good, Wilder! I don’t think you can say no now!”

Simone leans on the table and pleads with her brother. “Come on, Wilderness! Get down on your knee and ask her right now! You don’t need a ring this minute. You can go get one after we eat.” She gleefully grins at him. “Then you can have your honeymoon upstairs while we all watch a movie!” Everyone, except for Finn and I laugh. I don’t want to be in that bed right now with him. This is so awkward for me. Now he’s going to reject me in front of his family. That’ll be extra special.

I peer up at Finn and unexpectedly see an odd look in his eyes as they flicker around the table. He looks torn. About what? Starting another fight with me? I’m not saying a word this time. I already know how he feels.

“If you’re going to propose to her right now, wait until I get my camera!” Julie gets up and leaves the room. “Don’t do it without me!” she elatedly yells from somewhere outside the dining room.

“Fuck,” Finn mutters down into his plate. Fabulous. This situation is worse than I originally thought.

“Finn, do it!” Simone orders with a smile that could brighten a cosmic black hole. “You know you want to so much! It’s killing you not to marry your woman! You seriously want to!”

“Shut up, Simone.” Finn growls warningly. Yep.
Way
worse.

Julie runs back into the room. “Okay. Finn, go ahead!” I close my eyes, wishing I really weren’t there.

“I’m not doing it here, so just sit down,” Finn replies irritably.

“Oooh! Does that mean that you are going to?” Simone squeals.

“Simone! Shut the hell up!” he yells at her. From the corner of my eye, I see him briefly glance at me and then down to his plate again.

“I think he’s actually going to do it!” Simone whispers boisterously to her mom. “He just doesn’t want to do it in front of all of us!”

“Leave him alone!” Chrissie interjects.

Julie says, “Finn, just so you know, we can drive down anytime to do it.”

“Mother,” he gripes and takes a drink of his water. I really want to be somewhere else. The trunk of my car sounds nice right now.

“What, Finn? Don’t you want your sister or me to marry you?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in
all
50 states,” Ricky quips.

“Good one,” Chrissie praises him.

Julie counters, “You know what I mean, Finn.”

Finn stoically sits back in his chair, his hands balled into fists, but his voice is deceitfully calm. I know the rage storming through him from the way his body looks about to strike, his increased breathing, his stiff jaw, and the way his eyes dart around the room. “First of all, only a priest can perform a Catholic marriage. Secondly, the marriage has to take place in a Catholic church, unless the bishop gives special permission. Thirdly, we’d have to take classes and do a retreat before we get married. And fourthly, it’s still technically Lent. Marriages aren’t performed during Lent and up until eight days
after
Easter. So, no. You can’t marry us. Thanks for the offer anyway.” Finished with his blurb and satisfied with the gaping looks on his mom and sisters, Finn picks up his fork and takes a bite of his fish. He actually knows all that about getting married? Why?

Julie frowns and then smiles. “You’re really going to get married Catholic?”

Finn looks over at her, bemused. “If we ever do, why wouldn’t we?”

She shrugs. “I guess it just surprises me a little.”

“Why? You raised me Catholic. Why would it surprise you?”

“I don’t know. It just does, I guess. I don’t really practice it anymore since splitting with your dad.”

“Well, they do frown upon divorces just a tad,” Finn retorts.

We’re all quiet. I
really
want a rogue asteroid to take us all out.

Julie clears her throat. “I wanted to talk to everyone about something else. I didn’t know how to approach this, yet I can’t hold it off anymore. I’ve already talked to Leighton. I didn’t want to talk about this, being a holiday, but it can’t be helped and I’m sorry.” This doesn’t sound good at all. Julie is way too serious and she’s nervously scrunching her napkin beneath her hand. My blood runs ice cold and I can feel the chill from Finn’s as well.

Julie closes her eyes and tersely inhales. “Jack and I are getting a divorce.”

CHAPTER
5

The silence in the room after her announcement can be heard for miles. The only sound I hear is the huge wall clock ticking in the living room.

“What?” Simone asks in disbelief, covering her mouth.

“Oh, my God,” Chrissie mutters, leaning her head back.

I can feel Ricky’s uneasiness along with mine. We have no idea what to say. The only person that most likely has something to say is noxiously quiet.

I reach under the table to grab his hand. It’s cold and unmoving on his leg. Carefully, I look up at him and his throat is pulsating to the tune of his heaving chest.
Oh fuck
.

Julie shakily says, “I’m so sorry. We tried. I know how this is hurting you guys. You love Jack. He’s been your stepdad for nearly 19 years. I don’t know what to say. I know we failed you.”

When Finn finally speaks, thick ice coats his husky tone. “You
tried
? Are you telling us that all those years of marriage are in the shitter? They’re gone? You’re going to rip yet another father away from us?”

Oh. Fuck
. That’s the only thing that comes to my mind…continually.

“Finn, we’re not doing this to hurt you.”

Ultimately, his hand awakens beneath mine, curling his fingers tightly as he pounds the table with his other fist. “Fuck that!”

“Finn Robert Wilder!”

He rages, “So, is that how marriage works? You vow to the person you’re supposedly in love with that you’ll adore them for the rest of your life, or until you get tired of them and give up? I forget which of those it is!”

“Finn,” Ricky attempts to reason. I try to pull Finn’s hand to me, but he yanks it out of my grasp and he whisks his head to me.
“This
is what I’m talking about, Becks! Is this what you want for us? You want me to marry you just so that you can fall out of love with me and then kick my ass to the curb when you’re done? That would fucking kill me! Why don’t you just stab me in the heart right now, since it’d be less painful then going through another fucking divorce?”

“Finn stop, man.” He turns to Ricky, but I don’t hear if he said something to him because I start crying along with the other women at the table, Simone being the most animated.

Finn peers around the table. “Now, will you all shut your mouths about us getting fucking married? It’s
not
going to happen! Shit!” Puffing out an angry breath, he throws his napkin on the table before jerking out his chair, denouncing before he leaves, “Marriage is a fucking love killer.” He impatiently rises from the table and storms out of the room. Ricky jumps up and follows him. I can’t find the heart to follow them. Finn just ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it.

Julie cries into her napkin. “I knew he’d take it hard, but…”

Chrishelle huffs, “But
what,
Mom? You really thought this wouldn’t fuck up his world? You totally just threw his life into reverse!” She tearfully regards me and then glares at Julie. “He was going to propose to Hadley. Now that’s gone!”

My mouth drops open and I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Simone asks between sobs, “How do you know that, Chrissie? He said he wasn’t going to!”

“He was. He changed his mind. I could see it on his face when you told him to propose. He was going to do it, just not here.”

Oh. My. God
. Finn was going to ask me to marry him? No. He wouldn’t do that. There’s no way he could do a 180 that fast concerning marriage. Chrissie is delusional.

Suddenly hearing car doors slamming, we all turn our attention to the window as Simone shoots up from her chair. She runs over and cranes her neck to the right. An engine angrily roars and tires squeal. “Finn just took off,” she states sullenly. Great.

Slowly turning around, Simone comes back to the table, sits back down and mouths, “Sorry,” to me. I close my eyes and slump in my chair.

Chrissie crumples her napkin and tosses it onto the table. “How’d this happen, Mom?”

“We just… We still love each other, but it wasn’t working for us anymore.”

“I’ll miss Jack. Don’t make me stop talking to him,” Simone cries.

“I would never do that! He still wants to be in your lives. He has been your stepfather for so long. He loves you all. He wanted to be here today, but he is out of town for work. That wasn’t a lie. We were going to tell you together, but then we also thought that you would resent him. I don’t want you to hate Jack. He’s a good man.”

Chrishelle argues, “Then why are you divorcing him? We may be adults, but we went through this shit with Dad, Steve and now Jack! We love him!”

Simone sniffs. “I’ve known Jack almost all of my life, Mom. I know him more than my real dad. He’s my Daddy Jack.” She covers her face with her hands and shakes with new sobs.

“Simone, I know. He always will be. You can see him whenever you want. I want you to. I won’t discourage you from doing so.”

Chrissie asks, “What does Leighton say about this?”

“She’s upset, too. I told her this morning. I knew Finn would be upset, but he’s taking it far worse than I imagined. I’m so sorry, Hadley.” Julie bows her head and cries.

I clear my throat, feeling uncomfortable about my boyfriend’s behavior and for the cloud of awkwardness hovering over me doubling exponentially. I now physically feel inept. I’m even self-conscious breathing around everyone. I nervously mumble, “It’s okay. I’m sorry that everyone is going through this.” I glance at Simone as she uses her napkin to dry her tears. I unevenly tack on, “I feel like I’m intruding. Maybe you should’ve had Ricky and me wait outside or take a walk.”

Simone and Julie shake their heads. Julie says, “Sweetie, you’re family. We love you. Although you and Finn aren’t legally married, we think of you as if you are. We only wanted to give you a ceremony to help maybe turn things around for Finn; to have him express his feelings for you and vow to you his love and commitment.”

Simone nods. “We love you, Hadley. My brother loves you. He’s just scared.”

“Well, this divorce certainly won’t help him,” Chrissie grumbles.

Julie says, “No, it won’t. I’m so sorry, Hadley.”

“Don’t worry about us getting married. We’ll still be together.” I rub my hand over my cheeks and sigh. “Um, I don’t think I can stay with him tonight. We both need some space.”

“What? You’re leaving?” Simone asks, crying again.

“I think it’s better if Finn is with you guys tonight, and I’m not here distracting him. I’m going to see my friend Bethany and stay overnight at her house in Fenwick Island. Finn said he wanted to go to Easter Vigil tomorrow night or Easter Mass Sunday morning. If he still wants me to go with him, I’ll come back. I just… I just need tonight away from him. After our argument and now…”

“I’m so sorry,” Julie cries behind her fist.

I shake my head and look down, unable to watch her crying. “Don’t be. Spend time with him tonight. He’ll need you,” I tell her. Pushing my chair out, I pick up my plate, as well as Finn’s. “I’m going to go pack my things so I’m gone before he gets back. I don’t want him trying to get me to stay.” I mumble to myself, “If he does that at all.”

Chrissie says, “Hadley, don’t go. He’s going to need you above anyone else.”

I stop as I reach the doorway and turn to look at Chrissie. “He needs his family tonight. Like I said, I don’t want him ignoring you if I’m here. I’ll be back sometime tomorrow. Okay?” I give everyone a small smile and take the plates out into the kitchen. My hands are shaking so badly that I have to hold the heavy plates with both hands. I hurriedly go to the sink and set the dishes down on the counter with a loud clatter, but managing to not drop or break them. Putting my hands on the edge of the counter, I lower my head, the sobs shaking me like a rag doll. My poor Finn. His poor sisters. How will he get past this? I don’t know what I can do for him. He’s so mad at the world.

Arms wrap around me and a head goes on my shoulder. Julie’s perfume drifts over me like a crisp sheet floating onto a bed. “I’m so, so sorry, Hadley. He’ll come back to you. That son of mine loves you so much. He’ll marry you, honey. I promise.” Everyone seems to think so, except for me…and Finn.

“I’m sad for all of you, not for myself,” I cry. “My heart breaks for what you’re all going through. I know Finn is going to have a tough time with this, but I’ll be there for him, if he wants me. I will never turn my back on him, no matter if we’re married or not. He’s my
soulmate. I’m committed to him.” Julie squeezes me tighter and I cry harder. “I love him so much.”

“I know you do. He loves you, too. Thank you for loving my son, Hadley. He needs your love more than anything. Don’t give up on him. Please, don’t give up on Finn. It really would kill him if you did. He’ll lose the light in his eyes that you put there. He was an empty shell before you came into his life. He was acting his way through it, not really living it. You’ve given my son light and life, sweetie. You’re his reason for living.”

“I don’t know about that,” I protest as I dab my cheeks.

“You are, Hadley. You’re his universe,” she states tearfully.

I sigh as I nod, trying to convince myself to agree with her. “I’m going to go get my things. I need to get on the road before he gets home.”

“Don’t leave him,” she sobs.

I pat her arm as she cries against my shoulder. “I’m not. I promise. I’m just going to give us some space tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow.” Julie eventually nods and lets go of me. I turn around and give her a hug.

“I love you, Hadley. You’re a daughter to me.” Those words tear at my soul and my hard sobs return. She rubs my back and kisses my head, while sweeping my hair to the side. She holds me until I stop crying.

I sniff and say, “Thanks…Mom.” I giggle and Julie hugs me tight as she laughs. “I love that, Hadley. I’ll always be here when you need me. Please remember that, sweetie. If you come back early enough tomorrow, maybe we can go grab some lunch. Chrissie won’t be here, but you, Simone and I can go for lunch? Finn mentioned you have a bonfire to go to at your friend’s tomorrow night and that he also wanted to go church, so we’ll see. Simone and I are free all day.”

“Okay. I’d like that.” I smile at her and walk out of the kitchen to pack and call Bethany.