Dare to Dance: The Maxwell Series (18 page)

“Then Ruby,” Mom said. “Invite her to dinner tomorrow.”

I’d left Ruby with my cold attitude. She probably thought I didn’t want anything to do with her or Raven. I had to make sure she knew that wasn’t the case. “I’m not sure she’s ready.” But maybe now that I’d met Raven and the truth was out on the table, Ruby would reconsider meeting my parents.

T
he yellowed
, weathered colonial home stuck out like the bad stepchild among the other houses on the street. The black shutters were chipped at the corners. Overgrown bushes hid the quaint wooden porch where I used to sit on warm, balmy summer days. My mom had even sat with me, crocheting as we rocked in the handmade chairs my dad had made, talking about school, boys, ballet, and the future. So many dreams had shattered in one night as the world came to a screeching halt with one knock, one piece of paper, and a team of detectives. They’d stormed in with a warrant, tearing our memories from drawers, walls, and closets, while my mom and I watched in abject horror.

I’d wanted to believe my father was innocent and hadn’t done anything to jeopardize our lives. But it was hard when pictures and surveillance had told the whole story. At first, anger and shame at what my father had done became a staple inside me. But as my own life had taken a turn for the worse, I began to realize that my dad had gone to great lengths to provide for his family when he’d lost his office job because of downsizing. It was ironic how my own life mirrored his. I wasn’t selling drugs, but I would do just about anything to get Raven out of foster care, including make a deal with Trent. I didn’t know the specifics yet. He’d said he would be in touch. But I filed away Trent and his deal when I boarded the bus. I wanted a reprieve from my life in the city.

The For Sale sign leaned, touching the tips of the weeds and dying grass.

“Ruby?” A male voice called my name, pulling me from shattered memories.

Nick Mendoza, who’d once been my friend, sauntered through the bushes that separated our properties, pushing his blond wavy hair from his light-brown eyes.

“Nick, is that you?” The boy I’d hung out with late at night on my porch was no longer a boy, but a good-looking man. Up close, he was even prettier. He had clear, smooth skin, an angular jaw, bright-white teeth, and nice lips. “What happened to your pimples?”

He rumbled out a hearty laugh. “I see you still know how to win a guy over. I also see you’ve turned into a knockout.”

I dropped my gaze to the dead grass. “Hardly.” If he’d seen me a month ago, he wouldn’t have complimented me.

He chuckled lightly. “Still shy, too.”

My mom had sold the house not long after my dad was carted off to jail. “Do you know why the house is vacant?”

“After you moved, the house was sold to a young couple, who got foreclosed on about six months ago. According to my mom, the market sucks. So, my sister, Tasha, gave that Kross Maxwell dude my number. He called me a few weeks back. I’m sorry, but I told him that you’d been pregnant. Did he ever find you?”

I bobbed my head. “Yeah. The neighborhood hasn’t changed much.” Today was one day I didn’t want to think about Kross.

I’d been stupid not to listen to Ms. Waters. I should’ve told him way before yesterday. I should’ve prepared him. Every time I had thought about telling him, I’d gotten cold feet. In truth, I wanted him to see Raven first. I believed in the cliché that seeing is believing. That way, he couldn’t have exactly denied the resemblance. I was probably scum to him. “He needs time,” both Norma and Ms. Waters had said. Maybe so, but hurt still wormed its way into my chest.

Nick dangled his car keys in his hand. “What brings you up here anyway?”

A gravesite. Solace. Fresh country air. Memory lane.

An engine rumbled, drawing our attention to the quiet street.

“I should get going, anyway. I just wanted to see the old house.” I’d taken the bus up here that morning, and I had a return ticket for later in the afternoon.

A silver truck slowed, turned toward us before stopping at the edge of the driveway. The windows were tinted, or maybe the overcast day prevented us from seeing in.

Nick whistled. “Sweet ride. A friend of yours?”

I didn’t have any friends who drove shiny trucks. Inch by inch, the window rolled down, revealing the one person whose presence always coaxed a slew of tingles and butterflies from me. A waft of his spicy cologne drifted out, causing a blazing heat to trail up and pinch my cheeks.

Kross plastered on a knowing smirk as though I had a sign on my forehead that read, “Kross Maxwell gets me hot and bothered.”

The word “asshat” sat on the tip of my tongue. I would’ve said it out loud if it weren’t for the way his blue gaze undressed me, making my brain shut down.

Nick shuffled over to Kross and stuck out his hand. “I’m Nick.”

“Kross Maxwell.”

Nick closed his fist as he touched his mouth. “No way. I guess you found Ruby.”

Kross flicked his head to one side. “I guess I did.”

“Nice seeing you again, Ruby,” Nick said. “I’ve got to run.” He dashed off the same way he’d come.

“Get in,” Kross said in his bossy tone.

“Pfft. If you came all this way to be possessive, then go home.”

His eyes softened like quicksand and so did his voice. “I came all this way to finish our conversation from yesterday.”

I smiled slowly, tucking my cold hands into the pockets of my wool coat. “How did you know I was here, anyway?”

“I didn’t exactly. I caught Norma before she left for the bus station. She said you were headed up to the Berkshires. This was my first stop.”

Norma was one reason I was taking a trip down memory lane. We’d had a deal. I would come clean with Kross about Raven, and she would make an effort to visit her parents after seven years. She decided that Thanksgiving would be a good time to catch them at home. I didn’t want to hang around the city alone, so I decided to visit Riley’s grave. Nevertheless, I hadn’t figured that Kross would search for me on Thanksgiving. After all, he’d wanted to spend the day with his family.

“Although, she thought you might’ve made a stop to see your mom,” Kross said. “If you haven’t, I can take you.”

My plan had been to visit my mother until I’d spoken to her yesterday. She’d asked me to come on another day since she had a bad case of the flu. She didn’t want me to get sick. So, we had talked. It had been good to tell her that Kross had found me, and that I’d told him about Raven. She’d been pleased and said, “He’ll be good for Raven.” After seeing how he had interacted with Raven even for those few minutes, I agreed with my mom.

I fidgeted under his gaze. “What about your family and Thanksgiving?”

“You are my family,” he said easily.

My eyebrows flew into my hairline. I’d been praying all night that Kross would accept Raven. It was hard to miss how affected he’d been when he laid eyes on her. I had never pegged Kross for a crier or a man with deep emotions. The Kross I knew was strong and rough around the edges. The deep heartfelt emotions he’d displayed with Raven blew me away.

I sank my teeth into my bottom lip.
I
was his family. Could’ve fooled me by the way he’d abruptly left yesterday. “Raven is your family. Not me. We’re not playing house because we have a child.” In no way was I living with someone who didn’t have feelings for me.

He groaned, shifted the truck into park, and stormed out like a man possessed. His jaw flexed as he stalked up to me, reached out as though he wanted to touch me, then lowered his hands. He puffed out air as fury swirled like a storm at sea in those blue eyes. He paced back one step, glared at me, then drove a hand through his unkempt hair.

Kross had always been on edge when he was at the academy. Back then, I figured his impatience stemmed from his family troubles. His brothers had similar traits as they had acted out in class. Then again, we’d been teenagers with raging hormones and mood swings.

I scanned the neighborhood out of habit. After the cops had raided our home that night, the neighbors had all but shunned us or looked at us as though my mom and I were criminals.

Kross leaned against his truck, all six feet of imposing muscle, sizing me up. Again, I fidgeted under his scrutiny. I always had with him. He emitted a dark and dangerous aura that seemed to seep into my pores, weakening my knees.

He crossed one ankle over the other. The storm that brewed in his gaze calmed. “Since Raven is our daughter, that makes you family in my book.”

I stuck out my chin. “Kross, just because we have a daughter doesn’t mean you have to take care of me. Actually, I don’t want you to be my superman.” In part, it was the truth. I had to get on my own two feet and build something for myself.

Pushing off his truck, he walked up to me. Then he gently grasped my elbows before pressing his forehead to mine. He inhaled as though he was trying to suck my energy into him. “What if I want to be your superman?”

I gave him a half smile. “It’s sweet.” So sweet my heart was breaking. I’d traveled one bad road after another. The only good in my life was Raven. She was my shining star. I wanted my daughter to see her mom succeed, not because a man swept me off my feet, but because I worked my ass off to better myself and showed her to do the same as she grew older. My mom had made the mistake of allowing a man to take care of her, and she did have regrets. I wasn’t saying that a man couldn’t sweep me off my feet for love. I just didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to take care of me because of a child.

I touched Kross’s warm cheek. “You need to focus on taking care of Raven. We both do. We both need to show her that we love her.”

“Even though we both get butterflies around each other. That doesn’t mean anything to you?”

“Ruby Lewis,” A squeaky voice said my name from somewhere to my left.

Kross tensed as he let go of me. “Tasha.”

“Nick said you were out here with Kross.” She bounced up with her ponytail swinging high on her head. “Hi, Kross. How’s Kody?”

I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Tasha was the one to tell me you’d been pregnant.”

Figured. Tasha had always been a gossip girl like her mother.

Her chin dipped to her chest before she looked at me. “I see you two found each other. Anyway, my mom is basting the turkey. She wants to know if you would like to come in and stay for dinner.”

“Thanks for the offer,” Kross said. “But Ruby and I have plans.”

Tasha wrapped her long bangs behind her ear. “So, is your brother seeing anyone?”

“He is. Sorry, but we’re late.” Kross bounded around the truck to the passenger door. “Come on, Ruby.”

I waved at Tasha. “Nice to see you. Say hi to your mom.” Awkwardness came to mind when I thought of how dinner would have gone with the Mendoza family. Too many questions that I wouldn’t have been prepared to answer, especially the one that Mrs. Mendoza would no doubt have asked. “How’s your mom?” I shouldn’t have cared about gossip since I didn’t live there anymore. I wasn’t moving back, but my mom had friends there. If she ever decided to return, I didn’t want to taint her relationships with her friends.

I hopped in, and Kross clicked the door shut before he flew around the truck then into the driver’s seat. He threw the truck in gear and sped down the road, leaving Tasha on the curb with her mouth open.

I giggled when he slowed at a stop sign.

“She kept drooling for Kody that day we were up here,” Kross said on a sigh. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”
For more than food.

“The other day you said you wanted to show me something in the Berkshires. How about after we eat, you show me?”

I was here to visit Riley’s grave, and if he was going to be part of my life, then he needed to know everything, regardless of how that would affect our relationship.

I nodded as I listened to a raspy singer belt out a song that gave me goose bumps. Or maybe the goose bumps were because Kross was offering me his hand, palm up, on the console. I hesitated for a split second, afraid that the moment we locked hands was the moment I would fall deeper for him. That alone scared me more than living on the streets.

I
rolled
into a cemetery while Ruby gnawed on her fingers. Over lunch, we’d talked mainly about Raven. Ruby had chatted excitedly about how smart our daughter was. The minute Ruby’s pretty blue-green eyes had filled with tears, I’d changed the subject to something totally random. Sure, I wanted to learn as much as I could about my little girl and the years I’d missed, but I’d gotten choked up a couple of times as well.

The clouds grew darker as I shifted the truck into park. The forecast called for snow. My mom didn’t want me on the road today. I’d explained that I owed Ruby an apology, and I wanted to spend time with her, although I would love to spend time with Raven, too. That wouldn’t happen until I could sort out the paternity test.

“So you want to show me a gravesite?” A morbid chill ran through me as Karen’s small coffin flashed before me. The last time I was anywhere near a cemetery was at Karen’s funeral.

Headstones of all shapes and sizes dotted the landscape out the truck’s window. Flowers gave color to the etched weatherworn gray stones, while the dying leaves kicked up around them. A snowflake fell, then another, slowly covering the windshield.

Ruby climbed out without so much as a word. Her fingers had to be raw from expending all that nervous energy she’d consumed from the restaurant to here. When she’d told me she wanted to show me something, I sifted through my brain but came up empty. I’d gotten the sense she wanted to take me back in time and show me some of the things we’d done when we had dated. The oak tree we’d carved our initials in at the academy came to mind.

I jumped out then jogged up to her as she headed for the white clapboard church off to the right, her auburn hair swaying behind her. A faint outline of the mountains in the distance painted a backdrop against the cloudy sky. More snow drifted to the ground as my boots sank into the damp earth. Dodging headstones, I couldn’t shake the memory of my sister’s funeral or the days before when my mom found Karen’s body. Mom had screamed for hours until my old man gave her a sedative. My muscles coiled as I tried to erase my memories. Surrounded by death, I wasn’t sure I could.

Ruby finally stopped at a short gravestone that stood about two feet in height. The name on the gravestone read Riley Lewis. When I settled next to her, she reached out and grabbed my hand.

I jerked away. My mom had done the same thing in front of Karen’s coffin at the gravesite. One of her small hands had grabbed mine, and the other had grabbed Kody. She would’ve gathered all of us if Kade hadn’t been consoling Kelton. He’d been an emotional basket case at the funeral, more so than any of us.

“Please. I want you to understand how emotionally drained I was to even contact you after Raven was born. You need the whole story. Riley is Raven’s twin.”

A freaky sound escaped me as though someone had taken a sledgehammer and swung it across my back, knocking the wind straight from my lungs. Death. Again. And not just family, but someone I’d created.

Holy motherfucker.

“Join me,” Ruby whispered, squeezing my hand and jarring me from my numb state.

I lowered to my knees because I had to. Otherwise, I would’ve fallen flat on my ass. The wetness sank into my jeans as I sat on my heels. “Twin?”

“She was stillborn. Doctor said it was a genetic defect.” Her tone was melancholy.

I had no words. I didn’t even know how I should feel. This girl had rendered me speechless so many times since I’d found her in that underground fight. Today wasn’t any different. In my book, Ruby’s life was something Hollywood would probably put on the big screen. She’d gotten pregnant at sixteen. I’d left her without a word. Her mom and dad were in prison for drugs. Ruby lived on the streets and fought in illegal fights. She’d been in jail, lost Raven to social services, and lost a baby. Recounting all that, I blinked to ward off the dizzy feeling. I was beginning to realize how my parents felt over the loss of a child.

Ruby’s hands landed on my cheeks as she knelt facing me. “Are you in there, Kross?”

I blinked again. Her pretty face helped to calm me for the moment.

She dipped into her back pocket and removed an envelope. Then she pulled out pictures. She flipped through them then held up one. “My mom took this before the nurses carried away Riley.” She handed me the photo. “Riley is on the right with the nurse in blue. My mom is holding Raven on the left.”

Riley had a head full of black hair just like Raven. I clenched my jaw. I should’ve been there. I should’ve returned Ruby’s calls. My breathing grew shallow.

Ruby’s cold wet hands were on my face again. “I’m so, so sorry, Kross. I should’ve found you. My mom wanted me to, but I told her you didn’t want anything to do with me. Then my dad got arrested, and things got crazy.”

I curled my fingers around her small wrists. Guilt, anger, heartbreak, and devastation competed for a spot within me. But as my dad had said, we couldn’t change the past. I wanted to so fucking bad, though.

“Say something,” Ruby pleaded.

I glanced at the picture of my girls.
Get your shit together. Be the man who your father believes you to be. Be the father that Raven needs.

Big fat snowflakes were falling at a rapid rate. I wasn’t sure I could speak. The memories of my past, my sister, and this new news of Riley were more than suffocating.

Ruby’s face scrunched. “Kross?”

“I wished I would’ve been there for you,” I said as calmly as I could, hoping the irritation that I harbored at myself didn’t come through. I wobbled as I pushed to my feet.

She jumped up and caught my arm. “Are you okay?”

Hell, no.
“The snow is getting heavier.”

She stuck her hands on her hips. “Talk to me, Kross. You wanted to know my story. You wanted answers. So now you have them. All of them.” Her bottom lip overlapped the top, trembling slightly.

Fuck.
“I’m just mad at myself,” I said in a flat tone. “We should get on the road.” I started for my truck.

I needed to get my head around Ruby, my daughters, my fucking life. My heavy boots pressed into the earth. With each step, I swore the dead were reaching out of the ground and pulling me down. I glanced at the picture of my girls, tiny and precious, and my heart broke into a million fucking pieces. I shoved down my emotions or else I wouldn’t be able to drive. I reached the truck and opened the passenger door for Ruby, but she wasn’t there. I pivoted on my heel and froze. She stood in the distance like a statue, almost blending in with the scenery if not for her auburn hair contrasting with the gray and white colors around us. I shivered at the way her gaze bore into me as though she was trying to get into my mind and will me to come back to her. I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust that I wouldn’t break her if I touched her. If I kissed her, I was afraid I wouldn’t stop until I sucked out all her oxygen so I could breathe.

I closed my eyes. The snowflakes hit my face, the coldness a welcome relief to the inferno inside me. I relished the quietness even if just for a second. As more snow covered my face, I thought about my mom. She’d always told us boys that snow was an angel’s blanket. How ironic that I was among the dead in a cemetery with snow falling. Maybe angels were present. Maybe they were watching over us. I hoped so.

Heaving a sigh, I pocketed the picture then stomped back to Ruby who hadn’t moved. I peered down to find remorse and sorrow swimming in her eyes. “I’m sorry again for not returning your calls. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you through Riley and Raven. I’m sorry I’ve been acting cold and weird. I’m just so angry with myself.”

“I’m at fault, too.” Tears pooled in her bright eyes. “You don’t need to apologize for being cold and weird. It’s a lot to take in.”

As I raked my gaze over this beautiful woman, I said, deep and firm, “I am your superman whether you want me to be or not.”

She smiled, her gaze moving slowly down to my lips.

My pulse jumped. Then her fingers came up to my mouth. I wanted nothing more than to have her lips on mine instead of those cold, soft fingers. She rubbed my bottom lip then the top as she licked her own.

Banishing any gentleman’s qualities, I hoisted her in my arms. Her legs went around my back, and her hands dove into my hair before her mouth crashed to mine, greedy, hungry, and wild. Electricity fused us together, sizzling hot as I opened for her on a strangled groan. My body burst into flames, my dick growing as hard as the gravestones.

Her tongue slowly slithered in, exploring lazily as though she was savoring the kiss. Hell, I was. Although I was on edge, wanting to take control, to devour her, to bury myself in her.
Not yet.
I wanted her to take the lead. If she did, then that meant she was ready. Not to mention, I was enjoying the feel of her nails scraping my scalp, the way she was tasting every part of my mouth, and the sexy purrs she spewed as she kissed me.

She took a breath, and a snowflake dropped on her nose. I carried her to the truck.

The snow was piling up, and my dick was straining against my zipper. She bounced in my arms as she held onto me with her head on my shoulder. God, if she didn’t feel like she belonged in my arms.

“Why didn’t you kiss me back?” she asked as I set her in the passenger seat. “Is it because of Penelope?”

“Hell, no. If I kissed you back, you would’ve been naked on the snow-covered ground.”

She blushed. My dick jumped

I closed her door, circled the truck to the driver’s side then hopped in.

My phone rang. I plucked it from my jacket. “Hey, what’s up?” I turned the ignition then blasted the heater.

“You good?” Kade asked. “Mom’s worried.”

“Ruby and I are fine. The snow is getting heavy, though. I’ll check in with you later.”

Ruby waved her hands in front of the vents. “I didn’t realize how cold I was until I got in.”

Her face held that flushed look, while I was burning up from all the emotions flickering through me, especially the way she’d felt against me, soft and perfect.

She blew into her hands. “Kross, I’d rather not go back to Boston tonight.”

I whipped my head around to look at her. Not that I didn’t want to spend the night with her up against me, tangled around me, kissing me, touching me. Sure, she’d kissed me.
But is she ready for the next step? Am I ready for the next step?

“I haven’t slept in a soft, comfortable bed in ages. Alex’s couch is not a bed.” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “I have money for a hotel.” She averted her gaze.

That shy look of hers was enough to drive me insane.

Her seatbelt wasn’t on yet. So I tugged her to me as far as the console would allow. It was my turn to attack her sweet lips, to get lost in her. One hand went into her hair, and the other underneath her chin. I brushed my lips over hers. Her eyelids fluttered. Slowly, I slid my tongue into her mouth. Then I got lost in the sugary taste left over from the apple pie she’d had for dessert combined with the sweet taste that was just Ruby—the girl who was the mother of my child, the girl who was cracking open every part of my heart, the girl that still gave me that feeling of riding the tallest, scariest rollercoaster.

The cemetery vanished as she met each stroke of my tongue. I cupped the back of her head then pulled her closer to me as I continued to suck on her tongue, nibble on her lips, and breathe in her essence. When I broke the kiss to settle on her ear, she shivered then whimpered.

“I don’t think the hotel is a good idea,” I whispered huskily. “I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

Her hand settled on my dick. “So? I want you, Kross, even if it’s just for you to hold me.” Her tone was seductive as she squeezed my erection.

I had to hold back until I found a hotel because I wanted a bed underneath us, and nothing else.