Darcy's Passions (32 page)

“I doubt our family would dare resent any woman I chose.”

“Miss Bennet said something similar. She said she would not let her decision to marry you be affected by duty, honor,
or
gratitude. Resentment from your family or indignation from the world would mean nothing to her if you were excited by being married to her; the world, according to Miss Bennet, would have too much sense to join in the scorn!”

“Miss Elizabeth is correct, Madame. If I chose her, your disapproval would mean nothing; I would regret the loss of your affection
as my aunt, but it would not alter my decision.” He did not turn to face her.

“Darcy, you cannot mean as such. Have you forgotten your mother's wish for you to marry Anne?”

“My mother never expressed such a desire to me, and I will not let it control my heart nor my choice. As much as I respect Anne, she is not the woman for me. I need a mistress for Pemberley; I need a mother for my children, Pemberley's heirs. Anne and I have spoken; she and I are of a like mind in this matter.”

Lady Catherine stood abruptly. “So, you intend to make
this girl
your wife despite my objections?”

Darcy turned back to face his aunt head on.“If Elizabeth Bennet will have me, my life would be complete.”

“It is her arts and allurements,” she said as she headed toward the door,“which make you speak so foolishly. I will give you one week to come to your senses; if not, you will never be welcomed at Rosings again.” With that, she walked brusquely through the hall and out to her carriage, shooing servants out of her way as she went.

When she left, Darcy collapsed into the chair she vacated. Lady Catherine gave him hope; where days before he resolved to put distance between him and Elizabeth, now he thought only of returning to Netherfield and to her. He would have done so immediately if he was not to dine with Edward this evening; also he reasoned he needed time to reflect on what his aunt said and what he should do next. Edward was the perfect person with whom to discuss this encounter for besides Edward's clear thinking, what Darcy chose next would affect both of them.

 

Darcy most welcomed Edward's arrival at Kensington Place that evening. He needed his cousin's advice because his own emotions were far too out of control for him to think sensibly. The gentlemen took dinner leisurely, stopping several times for intense conversation and then returning to the meal to “chew” over the ideas as much as to consume the food. Darcy updated Edward on the pleasure of finding Elizabeth at Pemberley, sharing many of the
intimate details and asking for Edward's astute interpretation of what Elizabeth said and did. When Darcy told how Elizabeth thwarted Miss Bingley's attempt at a cut and maintained Georgiana's secret, the news astounded Edward. “I always found Miss Bennet to be most engaging,” he said with a smile.

Next came the story of George Wickham and Lydia Bennet's “arranged” marriage. “Now you understand why I purchased the commission,” Darcy related.

“In some ways I wish Miss Elizabeth realized the depth of your love, Darcy. Only a man as good as you would help his worst enemy to secretly save the woman he loves. My estimation of you has increased substantially, and it was always of the highest regard.”

This brought Edward to the news of Darcy's return to Netherfield. “I went with Bingley when he called on the Bennets the first time. I hoped to be able to talk to Elizabeth, but she barely looked at me. Her needlework was never as beloved as it was that day.”

“Darcy, she had not seen you since sharing her sister's shame with you. She must be confused. Why would you come there? Elizabeth has to know how you feel by now, but she must wonder how you could renew your affections to her with George Wickham as her brother.”

“What you say is so reasonable when you say it but not when I am living it,” Darcy chuckled ironically.“But things did not change at the dinner two days later. I spent the meal seated next to Mrs. Bennet; she spent the evening surrounded by other ladies, and we were unable to talk at all.”

“Again, Darcy, was that Elizabeth's doing or Mrs. Bennet's?”

“Why would Mrs. Bennet want to keep me from Elizabeth? If she threw Elizabeth at Mr. Collins, my wealth should earn me a right to court her daughter. The woman may dislike me, but her only goal is to marry off her daughters to well-suited matches. She would not keep me from Elizabeth!”

“Mrs. Bennet, I doubt, realizes your interest in Elizabeth. If what you say about the woman is true, and she knew how you felt, Elizabeth would be sitting
on
your lap. Instead, I think Mrs. Bennet
was trying to keep you from Mr. Bingley. The Bennets must know of Miss Bingley's cut in London of Miss Bennet by now.You and Caroline are intimates in the Bennets' opinions. Keeping you from stopping her plans to marry off Jane Bennet to Mr. Bingley seems a more likely explanation of what happened. Did Miss Elizabeth not say anything?”

“She only asked about whether Georgiana was at Pemberley.”

“Cousin, Miss Elizabeth asked about Pemberley because it was the place where you shared something
special.
If you do not stop second-guessing everything, you will lose this woman.”Ashamed at how easily Edward saw what he did not, Darcy dropped his head. “Now,” Edward rubbed his hands together in anticipation,“tell me what our dear aunt had to say today. If she said what I hope, both of our loves may be soon achieved.”

“Our aunt heard from her favorite gossipmonger Mr. Collins that Elizabeth started a rumor of our impending marriage, and Lady Catherine demanded it be universally denied. Lady Catherine went to Longbourn to confront Elizabeth.”

“That must have been some conversation! I cannot imagine Lady Catherine displaying much civility.”

“Our aunt was quite frank about what she said to Elizabeth. I kept myself in check to ascertain the extent of the accusations and the exact discourse, but it was difficult. She reminded Elizabeth of her connections, berated her for her insolence, and demanded Elizabeth honor my pledge to Anne.”

Edward emitted a moan. “Please tell me Elizabeth withstood Lady Catherine's demands. She is the only person who could be so defined.”

“Elizabeth refused to say she would not marry me if I asked, but she also never said she would accept my proposal. How do I know she desires my affections? She could have been obstinate and disagreeable because of our aunt's interference in her private affairs. I know the words Elizabeth said, but I still do not know the tone of those words.”

“Darcy, she could have simply promised Lady Catherine to never marry you, and her ordeal would have been over. Instead, Elizabeth withstood all our formidable aunt issued to her rather than to promise she would not marry you. Darcy, do you not see Elizabeth will accept you this time?”

“I am afraid to think as such; my heart cannot take such disappointment again.”

“Then do nothing, but are you not the one who told Bingley his fate would be the same whether he chose to wait or not? You should heed your own advice, Cousin.”

“I already told Lady Catherine I would not marry Anne even if Elizabeth refuses me.You need not push me toward Miss Elizabeth in order to earn your own love, Edward.”

“It is true I wish you to no longer be an embracement in Lady Catherine's mind, but it is truer I wish you happiness, Cousin. Elizabeth will be yours if your temperament will take the chance.”

“I apologize, Edward; I should not have spoken so harshly; my emotions race about unchecked.You are right; I cannot give up my chance. If I am successful, I will send you word, and you may attend to our aunt's vexations and plead for Anne's hand before Lady Catherine realizes your title may be enough for Anne, but it will mean the dower's house for her.”

“It would be a pleasing vindication for both of us, Darcy.”

They settled things; Darcy would return to Netherfield on Monday. His fate was in his own hands. As they parted that evening, there was genuine respect between the two gentlemen. Their lives had been intertwined since their youth, and if things went well in Hertfordshire, their lives would be changed but still bound to one another. As he left, Edward embraced his cousin and reminded Darcy,“Take the package of lace with you, Cousin. Miss Elizabeth will need it for her wedding attire.”

When Bingley returned to Netherfield on Monday evening, he found Darcy's livery on the carriage in front of the house. Upon entering, he discovered Darcy in the library. “Darcy, you came back; I am so pleased to see you.”

“I apologize for not sending ahead of my return; I hope I have not offended you by my presumption to be welcomed.”

“Of course, not,” Bingley crossed the room to shake hands with his friend.“You did read my letter, did you not?”

“I do not call four short lines a letter, Sir,” Darcy teased.

“That is the length of my legible content.”The levity between them helped to alleviate the apprehension Darcy felt since leaving London.

“Come, I want to hear what you said, what Miss Bennet did, and all the details of your upcoming nuptials,” Darcy led Bingley to a nearby chair.“You may even bore me with all Mrs. Bennet's
nerves
if you so choose.” Bingley laughed at the references to his future mother's silliness, but his happiness allowed him to find no fault even with Mrs. Bennet. Darcy's true interest lay only in his friend's happiness and in any references to Elizabeth's reaction to the proposal.

“Miss Elizabeth,” Bingley offered,“keeps her mother and sisters attending to other things so Jane and I may talk privately. Now you are here, you can help me entertain Mr. Bennet.We have agreed to go shooting later in the week; you are twice the sportsman as I; you could impress him, and maybe Mr. Bennet will not notice I am
generally a terrible shot.” Darcy laughed, but undercurrents of shattered nerves hid in the layers.

“You will join me at Longbourn tomorrow, Darcy? Miss Elizabeth deserves someone other than her mother to which to speak, and you and she got along well at Pemberley. Would you mind spending some time with Miss Elizabeth? Jane and I want to make plans for Netherfield without her mother's input and before the arrival of my sisters. What say you, Darcy? We can walk out together—Jane and I can talk over what we need to discuss, and you can talk to Miss Elizabeth and maybe her sisters.” Darcy would not mind seeing Elizabeth alone. That would be perfect for what he planned. That evening images of Lady Catherine and Anne standing along the road to Meryton disturbed his sleep, and a clear likeness of Elizabeth's face could not be had.

 

After breakfast, Darcy and Bingley rode to Longbourn. As usual, tender words of his worth greeted Bingley; Darcy, on the other hand, received a cold welcome; yet, he did not care what Mrs. Bennet said or did; his eyes searched Elizabeth's face, trying to see what she must be thinking about him after being so chastised by his aunt. Before Mrs. Bennet had time to tell Darcy of Lady Catherine's calling upon the family, Bingley said, “It is a beautiful day. May we take a walk and enjoy the weather?”

“Oh, I am not in the habit of walking about, Mr. Bingley,” Mrs. Bennet fussed,“but the girls are quite good walkers.”

“I would prefer to stay here, Mama, and address my studies,” Mary intoned.

“Do be quiet, Mary,” Mrs. Bennet was quite rude. “No one cares whether you go or not.” She turned back to the others. “Girls, go find your outside things.”

Soon the five set off together; Bingley and Jane lagged behind, allowing the others to outstrip them. Little discourse occurred between the three; Kitty remained in awe of the “haughty Mr. Darcy.” Darcy and Elizabeth each formed a resolution to speak what had not been said before.

When they reached the path leading to Lucas Lodge, Kitty asked to be excused to visit Maria Lucas. Elizabeth agreed but warned her sister not to stay too long. After Kitty's exit, they walked on in silence for a few moments. He tried to get the courage to approach her when she found her voice
,
“Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours.”

“I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister.”

“Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it.Were it known to the rest of my family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express.”