Dangerous (The Complete Erotic Romance Novel) (74 page)

Reid looked at his computer screen without really seeing it.

“Vulnerable,” Rex repeated.

Reid inhaled sharply at the reminder.

Rex leaned closer. “It terrifies you,” he murmured. “But sometimes fear is the best indicator.”

Reid looked up at that. “What do you mean?”

“Sometimes fear hides the greatest pleasure at all, and confronting it takes everything to a whole new level.”

Reid thought about that. He recalled that even though he and Kendra had both been out of control, they had worked together to defeat the stalker. Just as they’d worked together to finesse the plan for Esperanza’s recovery.

Maybe weaknesses and strengths could counter-balance each other.

Rex cleared his throat before he continued. “The fact is that accepting your vulnerability and creating a commitment out of it can make you stronger and more resilient.”

“Turn the vulnerability inside out; make a weakness into an asset.” It was a familiar concept to Reid, and he felt foolish for not putting it into action this time.

Rex nodded. “Having a partner is better. You always have someone at your back. You don’t have to solve every little thing. And there’s someone who understands you and knows you as well as you know your own self.” He shipped the coffee again. “Never mind what commitment does for sex.”

“You’re joking.”

“No. It’s not the reason to make the commitment, but it opens new horizons in trust. I never would have believed it myself, but it’s true.”

Reid could imagine that. He could see marriage was another contract, maybe a more binding one than the contract he and Kendra had first signed.

Would she agree as quickly as she had that time? The possibility made him want to find out. The idea of having her beside him, as a partner in every way, resonated the kind of clarity he associated with his best decisions.

They could be a hell of a team.

If he took a chance.

Rex reached for the coffee again as Reid watched. “At least it’s hot,” he said and saluted Reid with the cup before he sipped it.

“You’ve had a long day,” Reid guessed.

Rex nodded. “And it’s not over yet. But I’m going to call and hear my son’s baby talk, then lose myself in my wife’s voice.” He smiled in obvious anticipation. “And the day after tomorrow, I’ll be home again.” Rex arched a brow. “Home. You must have realized by now that home isn’t about houses or furnishings or staff.”

Reid grinned. “You’re not going to tell me that home is where the heart is.”

Rex smiled in return. “Just because it’s a cliché doesn’t mean it can’t be true.” He drained the coffee and grimaced again. “The thing is that nothing lasts forever, not even yearning. Windows of opportunity open and close. One of you will move on, compromise, make a choice because rather than remain alone.” He slanted a look at Reid, then got to his feet. “I thought you were good at making the most of those windows.”

Reid smiled despite himself. “I am.”

“Then quit being stupid.”

Reid blinked in surprise at the blunt conclusion.

He was more surprised to find himself in agreement.

“If I can see it, you already know it.” With that, Rex scooped up his bag and his empty cup, crumpling the second and tossing it into the trash can. He pulled out his cell phone as he strode toward the private cubicles and Reid considered the other man’s advice.

Rex was right. Reid already knew he loved Kendra. He already knew his decision to leave her had been the wrong one.

And it was time he did something about it.

* * *

Leon died in February.

Kendra sat at her desk and cried after Leon’s wife called to tell her late on a gray Thursday afternoon. Then she told the employees and gave them the rest of the day off. Many of them asked for details about the funeral on the Saturday, because they intended to go. Kendra knew Leon’s wife would appreciate it and told them as much.

One of Leon’s old competitors phone to express his sympathy. Kendra had met Morris many times and was glad to hear his voice.

“Don’t suppose you know anyone who wants to get into the rag trade?” Morris asked after a few minutes. He was trying to sound casual, but Kendra knew better.

“Why?”

“It’s time for me to take it easy. My wife wants to retire to Florida. She says we should enjoy the time we have left.”

“I thought your son was going to take over after you.”

The other man snorted. “He’s more interested in computers. He wants me to sell out and give him seed money for his venture.” Morris laughed a little. “If I sell out, that’s my retirement fund. Doris will have it spent on a condo in Miami in nothing flat.”

Kendra was about to say she didn’t know anyone, then thought about the way Esperanza was reaching its production capacity. She’d hired more ladies but they had no more space or machines. For now, they were fine, but in six months, they’d have an issue if the growth kept up. “Tell me about your assets,” she invited impulsively, and began to make notes.

Morris’ firm was in much the same state Esperanza had been when Leon sold to Reid. It was much diminished, but had potential. The only employees left were the old guard, the really skilled ladies. The machines were solid, of a quality that was hard to buy new, although they probably needed some refurbishment. She talked to Morris for a while about his expectations, becoming more excited by the moment.

It was crazy.

It was risky.

It was the kind of bold step that made or destroyed a company.

What if she was wrong and it cost them everything they’d gained?

Kendra stayed late that night, alone in the building, as cold rain pattered against the office windows. Her fingers flew over the keyboard as she worked out the possibilities. She could do it, but only just. They’d be tight for cash, maybe too tight. Maybe it was too soon to rely on the revenue from the website.

Maybe it was the kind of risk that could take them to the next level.

Kendra certainly wanted to take the chance, although she was afraid she might be over-reaching herself. She started to email Reid, but then knew email wouldn’t be good enough. She wanted to hear the nuance in his voice. This was important enough that she had to be sure. She took a deep breath, then picked up the phone and called his office. He’d made these kind of moves—or passed on them—a hundred times and would know whether the moment was right or not.

Although nervousness about making the right choice didn’t explain Kendra’s agitation. Her heart began to pound faster as the phone rang. It wasn’t that late in California. He’d probably still be there. Maybe he’d be alone and they’d have a good talk. Maybe she’d tell him she missed him, if the conversation went well.

Maybe not.

“Reid Stirling’s line,” said one of his many assistants.

“It’s Kendra Jones at Esperanza Enterprises. Is Mr. Stirling available?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Jones. He’s not taking any calls at this time.”

Or he wasn’t taking
her
call. The answer was so pat Kendra had to wonder.

“I see. Maybe you could give him a message for me.”

“Of course.”

“The former owner of Esperanza Enterprises, Leon Cranston, passed away today. I thought Mr. Stirling might like to know.”

“Of course. Can you give me the details of the service and where flowers are to be sent?”

“Certainly.” Kendra did so, then hesitated for a moment, wishing she could just talk to Reid.

“Is there anything else, Miss Jones?”

Kendra could hear another line ringing. “No. No, that’s all. I apologize. I’m just a little distracted right now.”

“Of course. You have our sympathies,” the assistant said with some kindness, then ended the call.

Kendra put the phone back in the cradle and looked around the empty office. It was almost seven and she needed to get something to eat.

* * *

It was the worst possible weather for a funeral.

The skies were leaden grey. The snow had melted and there was mud in the cemetery. It was cold, too, with a biting wind. Not everyone went from the service to the cemetery, but Kendra did. She pulled her dark coat tighter around her neck and put up her hood. Just as they reached the grave site, cold sleet began to fall. The mourners shuddered as one.

It was a lovely service, a tribute to Leon’s life and his passion, and more of a celebration than Kendra had expected. The roses Leon’s wife had bought for the mourners to place on the casket looked as red as blood in the light, fragile and immortal in their beauty at the same time. Kendra gave her condolences to the widow at the end and the other woman kissed her on the cheek as they both cried. Kendra turned away, her own tears blurring her vision, and nearly stumbled when she heard the man behind her express his regrets in a deep familiar voice.

Then she caught herself. Reid wasn’t here. She’d imagined seeing him a thousand times, thought she’d heard his voice just as often, had looked up every time a man strode into Esperanza’s offices. She was done with being pathetic. She took a deep breath and strode toward her car.

A hand fell on the back of her waist and that same voice was closer. “It would be easy to believe that you were trying to get away from me,” Reid said.

“No. You were the one who couldn’t get away fast enough,” Kendra replied.

“Ouch,” he muttered and she risked a sidelong glance. He was perfectly dressed in a black suit and raincoat, one gloved hand holding a black umbrella over both of them. He looked as if he’d lost a bit of weight and he was watching her intently. His eyes were that vivid shade of blue. “You’ve done an excellent job with Esperanza, Miss Jones,” he said, his tone perfectly professional.

Kendra turned away from him to hide her disappointment and kept walking toward her car. “Thanks.” He didn’t lift his hand from the back of her waist, which was an oddly protective gesture, given his tone. Still she savored the weight of his touch, and found herself yearning like an idiot for more.

“Very shortly, people will notice what you’ve accomplished. You’ll have the only credential you’ll need, no matter what you want to do next.”

“You made it possible.”

“You’ve made it look easy to turn a company around.” There was a thread of humor in his tone, enough that Kendra had to risk another glance at him. He smiled. “You’ll be putting me out of business.”

“I don’t think so.” He was teasing her. It was enough to break her heart in two. “Nice of you to come and pay your respects.”

“It might have been, but I came to see you.”

Kendra’s heart skipped, but she didn’t say anything.

Reid cleared his throat. “I have an offer for you, one that I hope you’ll find interesting.”

She spun to face him, interrupting him rather than letting him finish. “You came to offer me a job? You have another company that needs rescuing? Well, I’m not leaving Esperanza until it’s on solid footing...”

Reid lifted a fingertip to her lips, silencing her with a touch. Kendra felt snared but couldn’t move away, couldn’t do anything but stare into the blue of his eyes. “Not a job,” he said softly. He had that intent look, the one that made her heart race and her skin begin to simmer.

She knew what he meant and it wasn’t nearly enough, not anymore. “Not another contract,” she whispered, then forced herself to turn away. She kept walking, needing distance to think clearly. Oh, she wanted to feel his hands on her again, but the physical wouldn’t be enough to satisfy her.

“Not the same kind of contract,” he said with such care Kendra wasn’t sure what to think.

“I’m not sure I’m interested in another arrangement,” she said, her voice husky.

Far from being deterred, Reid caught up with her, his hand falling on the back of her waist again. “Does that mean it’s futile to apologize or beg forgiveness?”

Kendra refused to look up. “You don’t beg.”

“What about asking for a second chance? Would that be a waste of breath?” He sounded uncertain, wary of her answer.

“You haven’t apologized yet,” Kendra noted.

“I don’t think words are going to suffice,” he mused. “Don’t you agree that actions are always more powerful than words?” She risked another glance his way. The line of his mouth had softened, as if he might be convinced to smile at some point. His gaze was every bit as steady and his focus on her enough to make her tingle.

“You sound like you have a plan.”

“But having a plan is never enough with you, Miss Jones,” Reid said quietly. “You change every plan. You surprise me and challenge me.”

There was a gleam in his eyes that fed the hope Kendra was feeling. “I’m guessing that’s a bad thing.”

“That’s what I thought, but you know, I missed it.”

Kendra’s heart was pounding, but she didn’t say anything.

“I missed
you
, Kendra,” Reid admitted, his voice deepening. “That probably shouldn’t have surprised me, because I knew very early that I was in love with you.”

A lump rose in her throat. “You never mentioned that.”