Dancing With A Devil (22 page)

For one indomitably long moment, she stared at him, and then her lips parted, her nostrils flared and her green eyes glistened like polished emeralds. She whirled away so he could not see her face. Her skirts swished around her ankles in her haste. He could not blame her. “I’ve come to speak with you about the duel.”

Of course. She wanted to protect her brother, even at the risk of ruining herself. His admiration for her grew. Damn the duel for a moment. “Audrey, I’m sorry.”

“
You should be.” Unmistakable hurt vibrated her tone. Her back arched slightly and her hands clenched at her sides. His gut twisted into painful knots. For once in his life, he was completely at a loss for what to say to a woman. “I assume I’ve upset you.”

She whirled to face him. Blistering color stained her cheeks and made her freckles turn red.

“
Of course you did,” she snapped. “But I am not here to talk about my feelings. I am here to beg you not to fight my brother. Will you grant me this one wish or will you deny me that as well?” Her foot tapped rapidly in front of her, but her trembling lip gave away the riotous emotions inside her.

That he was causing her pain made him feel as if someone had plunged their fist into his chest and was slowly squeezing his heart without mercy. Self-loathing filled him. He couldn’t rectify any of this. If he died right now, it would be a well-deserved fate.

For a breath, he half expected his heart to seize yet the damnable thing beat on. The only reparation he could offer was the smallest sliver of the truth. “Audrey.” He stepped closer to her, but she scuttled out of his reach, looking very much like a wounded deer. His heart tugged in the strangest way. “I want you to know I would marry you if I could.”

Her shoulders sagged and the quivering of her lip increased until she bit down on it. She notched her chin up and squared her shoulders. By God, she was brave and beautiful.

“
If you could
?” Her tone was a harsh accusation. “Are you trying to tell me you are incapable of marriage or just not desirous of a marriage with
me
?”

Pain spiraled through him at the sudden whiteness of her complexion and the way she crossed her arms as if to protect herself. He had to tell her more. She deserved more of the truth. Damn everything else. He would pay all the consequences later. “I’m trying to tell you I’m already married.” Saying the words aloud made him wince. He teetered between the feelings of relief and failure.

“
Married?” Her brows came together, causing a deep crease between her eyes. “Surely you jest?”

“
I wish I did, but it’s true. I’m married or at least I think I still am. I can’t say for certain.”

“
You can’t say for certain?” Her hushed broken tone made his chest tighten.

When she swayed, as if she might faint, he grasped her by the elbow and curled his fingers around her slender arm. “Do you need to sit down?”

Do I need to sit down?
Trent’s question echoed through Audrey’s mind. Considering her world seemed to be tilting at a precariously odd angle, Audrey decided that yes, she did indeed need to take a seat. Her legs gave way beneath her the second she let go of her pride. She fully expected to crash to the floor, but Trent circled his strong arm around her waist and crushed her to his side. At the force of the impact against his solid thigh and chest, her breath released from her body with a shuddering whoosh.

For a moment, she was too dazed to speak. He was married? A fiery ball of anger formed in her chest. No, he’d not said he was married. What he’d said was he thought he was married, but he couldn’t say for certain. The ball in her chest burst and sent sparks of humiliation to every corner of her body. Her scalp burned with the heat of disgrace; her toes tingled with regret.

There was no way to deny it now. Her father had been one hundred percent correct. Or had he? She had to know for sure. Did Trent love her, but the fact he was married held him back? She wanted to throttle him, but she desperately needed to hear the whole story. The heat radiating off his body and his breath hitting her neck in puffs of deliciously warm air invaded her senses. If she didn’t ascertain how he really felt she would always regret it. Of course, once she knew, she may regret that more, but not to ask was unacceptable. She wriggled in his arms. “Let me go. I’m fine to stand on my own now.”

“
Audrey.”

The pleading note in his voice almost undid her. Part of her wanted to stay in his arms and part of her wanted to slap him. What she needed most was distance. She shoved hard against his chest and ducked under his arms when his hold loosened. Scampering backward, she put several paces between them. “It’s interesting you aren’t sure whether you’re married or not. I don’t suppose you care to explain how one comes to be in that state or why you didn’t mention it sooner?”

“
I came to be married as all people do. I met a woman I loved and asked her to marry me.”

His nonchalant reply twisted her gut. So he had loved his wife. Or he still loved her. Did it really matter? Audrey felt wretched. On the way over, she’d been quite certain she could never feel worse, but she’d been wrong. “Then why the secrecy?”

“
There’s no secrecy. I thought my wife was dead, and now I’ve learned I might have been mistaken.”

“
So that’s why you didn’t tell me?” That at least was half-honorable.

“
Among other reasons.”

Any charity she felt fled out the door. “Such as?” She hated that she couldn’t control the angry tone of her voice.

Trent rolled his shoulders, a habit she knew he reverted to when he was uncomfortable. Good, the devil deserved to be more than uncomfortable.

He cleared his throat. “No one but two other people know I was married and I prefer to keep it that way.”

Didn’t that just take some bollocks to ask her to keep his dirty little secret? The anger inside her threatened to consume her. She advanced on him with a pounding heart. “Whatever were you doing with me?” she demanded. “Or is that quite naïve of me to ask?” She poked him in the chest and forced back the scream lodged in her throat. “Were you simply seducing me?”

“
God, no,” Trent thundered.

“
What then?” Her blood roared in her ears. She was going too far. She knew it, but she couldn’t rein herself in. “Tell me what I was to you.” The wounded tone of her voice made her cringe but she forced herself to continue. She had to know.
Had
to
. “If you weren’t possibly married would you have asked me to marry you? Do you―” She could barely force the question out, but now was not the time to be meek. “Do you love me?” The whispered question was so low she barely heard it herself. How appalling to have asked such a thing, yet she wouldn’t take back what she had asked. To never know would be torture. All her loneliness welled within her in one large knot of yearning. She wanted his love. Even if she could never have him, knowing she had his love would be enough.

He stared at her, his complete shock evident in the widening of his eyes and the color leeching from his face. “Audrey, I would have offered for you last night if I knew I was free to do so.”

That was no answer. She gritted her teeth before speaking. “Last night?
Only just last night?
Not before we were caught? Your hand seemingly forced.” She was helpless to stop the rage mingled with humiliation that made her shiver.

He yanked his hands through his hair, a loud sigh coming from him. “I had made up my mind to offer for you at the wedding breakfast. I even went home to send your father a note so I could ask him to court you, and then I got notice that my wife might be alive.” His gaze raked over her face. “I thought we could have a very beneficial marriage.”

“
Beneficial marriage?” She would have sworn she’d heard him wrong except his nod confirmed she’d heard him correctly.

He reached for her and she reacted without thought by whipping her hand through the air and slapping him. The contact of her open palm against his cheek echoed in the silent room. “That’s what I think of your beneficial marriage idea.”

Her hand stung but no more than her pride. With as much dignity as she could muster, she clasped her hand to her chest and glared at him. “I would call you a fool, but I daresay you’re too thick skulled to realize the truth.” The mocking tone of her voice masked her bleeding heart. She had to get out of here before she dissolved into tears or worse threw herself at his feet and begged him to love her. Raising her chin, she said, “Now that matters are settled between us, I demand as repayment for you toying with me that you not show up to duel my brother.”

“
For God’s sake, woman,” Trent growled, “I did not toy with you.”

She cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at him. It was either that or scream, and screaming would hardly make her look unaffected by him. “You may say whatever you like, but we both know the truth. I do not want you shooting and killing my brother. You’ve done quite enough already.”

The tic at Trent’s temple beat so furiously she worried for one second she’d gone too far. His mouth compressed into a thin, hard line before he seemed to calm enough to speak. “I’m sorry for my part in your father’s death, and I’m sorry for kissing you on the balcony last night.”

His words obliterated whatever shred of dignity she had. “I feel so much better now,” she replied, each word punctuated with icy loathing, of herself as well as him.

“
Damnation, Audrey.” Like a flash of light, he grabbed her and yanked her to him, her chest crashing against his. “You misunderstand me.” He pressed his face close to her head, his lips brushing against her ear. “I care for you very much.”

That was not love.

“
I intended last night to never touch you, but you undo me.”

Audrey struggled out of his grip and clutched the material of her dress. She wanted to press her hands to her ears to block out what he was saying, but she never wanted him to know how much his words hurt her. The aching sincerity of his voice told her he was truly trying to explain himself and that he’d never meant to hurt her, but his words made everything worse. What was between them had nothing to do with love, on Trent’s part, and everything to do with lust and convenience. If she’d wanted to marry for mere passion or suitability she could have done it five times over by now. She wanted love. His love.

She clenched her teeth and forced her thoughts to order. “Before I leave, I’ll need your promise that you won’t go to the duel.”

“
Did you hear a word I just said to you?” Exasperation was evident in his tone and rigid stance.

Had she heard him? It was hard to keep the disbelieving laugh inside, but she did. “Your promise, please,” she said levelly, choosing to ignore his question. It was the only way she’d escape this room without tears.

His features hardened. “I cannot give you that promise.”

“
You blackguard,” she spat, unable to hold back her anger. How dare he refuse her request?

The small scar on the right side of his face reddened. She’d seen it do that several times before when he was irritated about something. What nerve he had to be irritated with her. She inhaled a sharp breath, gathering air to blast him with stinging words of anger. As if he could read her mind, he held up a silencing hand, the look on his face one of fierce warning.

“
My failing to show up at the duel will not appease your brother. I believe it will anger him further. He will take it as a further slight, though it is the furthest intention from my mind. I fear he may take out his anger on you if he cannot get to me.”

She blanched, knowing he was undoubtedly correct. For a moment, she was tongue-tied. The fact that he seemed genuinely concerned for her welfare touched her and confused her. “Then what’s to be done? I can shoot a pistol better than my brother, and that’s not saying much.”

The smallest smile graced Trent’s lips and the strangest look skittered across his face, gone before she could truly read it.
Scorn?
No. The smile had been real, not mocking. It had appeared more like… Her breath caught in her throat.
Admiration
. But for who? Surely not her.
Focus, silly nitwit
. Nothing else but her brother mattered. “Do you have a plan?” For the oddest reason, she felt sure he would.

Trent shrugged. “I’ll simply delope. Our seconds will call the duel. The wrong to your honor will be answered and your brother’s pride will remain intact.”