Dancing Through It: My Journey in the Ballet (38 page)

Alexei Ratmansky’s
Russian Seasons.

Waving at my daughter in the front row during final bows after Francis Patrelle’s
The Yorkville Nutcracker.

Backstage with Grace after a matinee of Balanchine’s
The Nutcracker.

Our family.

I
never expected to write a book about myself, and I must thank Todd Gold and my agent, Dan Strone, for having the idea and getting it all started. Also I want to thank my friend Robert Lipp, who is responsible for creating the Dance On scholarship for City Ballet dancers, through which I was able to get the college education that gave me the confidence to write this book myself. In fact, Bob is the one who introduced Todd and me in the first place.

I want to thank my amazing editor, Wendy Wolf, as well as Margaret Riggs. Wendy gave me the freedom to “just write,” and then somehow she and Maggie made sense of the large quantity of pages I gave them, blessedly cutting much out. Thanks also to Brianna Harden, who crafted such a beautiful jacket cover. I am very grateful to Elisa Rivlin, Carolyn Coleburn, Kate Griggs, Carla Bolte, and everyone else at Viking. I also so appreciate the efforts made on my behalf by Dan’s assistant, Kseniya Zaslavskaya, and all those at Trident Media Group. To Steven Caras, Paul Kolnik, Rosalie O’Connor, and Joe McNally I give my gratitude and admiration for their ability to capture dance in a way that makes still images seem to move. Thank you to Rob Daniels, director of communications at City Ballet, for his guidance and wisdom, and to my friends from the ballet world who have been so supportive.

I extend so much love and appreciation to my Monday Mom’s Group from Redeemer Presbyterian Church for their prayers and support, and for the examples they all are to me of Godly women, wives, and mothers. Their vulnerability, senses of humor, and insight have helped me through so many days. Particularly I want to thank Katharine
Cluverius for reading this book and helping me to better approach writing about my faith.

Last, and most important, I need to thank my family. My sister, Becky, is ever my ally and advocate, empowering me to be courageous and be myself. My parents are always my supporters and read several versions of this book, offering suggestions and encouragement with love and sensitivity. They have continuously prayed for me about every part of my life. I hope I can be just like my mom and dad as I parent my own precious children on their own life journeys. And my husband, James, continues to be my hero in ways big and small. Without his thoughtfulness and selflessness and wisdom and patience, this book would never have been finished.

There is nothing like writing a book about yourself to make you realize how far you still have to go and how many people have helped you get to your current spot. I have accomplished nothing on my own; it is only with God’s help and the amazing people in my life that I have done anything, and to them I am humbly grateful.

Adagio—
movement that has a slow, fluid quality

Apprentice—
the lowest rank of dancer at New York City Ballet; performs only a few ballets in a given season. Although most dance companies follow similar rank structures as City Ballet, some have no apprentices; others have first and second soloists; some have Etoiles, which are above principals; some have no ranks at all.

Arabesque—
ballet position in which one leg is extended directly behind the body and one arm is often stretched out to the front

Balanchine style/technique—
the stylistic way of dancing created by the choreographer George Balanchine that features a unique precision, quickness, and efficiency and incorporates elements of neoclassicism

Ballet master/mistress—
the instructor in a professional company in charge of a particular ballet or rehearsal

Ballonné
—
a step that slices the working leg first away from and then into the standing leg, done either as a jump or in pointe work without a jump

Barre—
the horizontal bar often made of wood that is fastened to the walls of a ballet studio for the dancers to hold on to during the initial exercises of a ballet class

Bourrée
—
a step where the dancer glides in any direction using many tiny steps
en pointe

B-plus—
a standing pose where one leg is bent and crossed behind the other with its toe placed on the floor

Center/Center work—
exercises done in a ballet class in the center of the room, away from the support of the barre

Classical—
the traditional style of ballet established in the nineteenth century

Corps de ballet—
the first official rank achieved by most full-standing company members; the largest group of dancers in a ballet company that primarily does the ensemble dancing

Demi-soloist—
a role in a ballet that is more prominently featured than the role of the corps de ballet

Divertissement—
a short dance or interlude in a ballet

En dedans
—
a pirouette revolving inward, toward the supporting leg

En dehors
—
a pirouette revolving outward, away from the supporting leg

En pointe
—
to dance in pointe shoes; the act of rising up onto the toe box, or front section, of a pointe shoe

Grand battement
—
a high, controlled kick

Grand jeté
—
a
jeté
in which the dancers make a split with their legs in the air

Jeté
—
a jump from one foot to the other

Jeté battu
—
a
jeté
in which the legs cross over each other once and then switch places before landing

Mazurka—
a Polish folk dance in
³
/
₄
time

Movement—
a section of music within the whole composition or a part of a ballet within the whole piece

Neoclassical—
a style of ballet that is less formal and rigid than classical ballet and usually has no narrative

Partnering—
when a man supports and assists a ballerina as she dances

Pas de deux; de trois; de quatre; etc.—
a dance for two, three, four, etc.

Pirouette—
a turn on one leg

Plié—
to bend the standing leg or legs

Port de bras—
how the arms are held and carried; the positioning of the shoulder, elbow, wrist, and fingers as they move through the air

Principal—
the highest rank attained by a ballet dancer at New York City Ballet; dances the most important roles

“Puff”; “puffed”—
a part that is very hard and causes the dancer to become out of breath; to be out of breath

Repertory—
the list of ballets shown during a performance season

Saut de basque
—
a traveling jump in which the dancer jumps from one foot to the other while revolving in the air

Scherzo—
a sprightly musical composition usually in quick triple time

Soloist—
the middle rank, between the corps de ballet and the principal at New York City Ballet; usually dances featured parts

Soutenu
—
a smooth turning step where both feet are on the floor

The tape—
the voice machine that dancers at New York City Ballet used to call for their daily schedule

Tombe coupé jeté
—
a traveling step that involves first a turning step on the floor and then moves into a large jump from one foot to the other

Turns—
a series of steps in which the dancer spins or revolves

Understudy—
one who is covering a role but would perform it only if the primary dancer scheduled to do the part is unable