Dance With Me (7 page)

Laurie forced his gaze to the center of Ed's chest. “Forget that. I just need to teach you the motion.”

He braced when Ed took his chin lightly in his fingers, but Ed didn't let him go, just looked him dead in the eye.

“Laurie,” he said gently, “I swear, I am as gay as a parade. I tried to keep my focus on women in high school, but in college I blew a guy in the locker room and never looked back.” He shrugged. “I don't advertise, no. But I don't hide it either. The guys on the team know. They're cool with it, overall. Why the hell, Laurie, does it make a difference to you?”

Laurie didn't know. “I need to teach you Cuban motion,” he said, sticking to the safer subject.

Ed sighed and let go of Laurie's chin. “Fine. But can we have some music? I can't believe I just went through a whole dance class and never heard a single note of tunes.”

Ah, that. Laurie fussed with the stereo to hide his embarrassment. He'd gotten into the habit of leaving music off with that class because there seemed to be no point. Never mind that it probably would have helped. Ed didn't know that, however. “That's because they aren't good enough for that yet,” he lied, and bumped the player to a song that would work. “But you're right. The music will help you feel the motion better.”

A soft Latin beat began to pulse as Laurie went back into Ed's arms, and the music did help Ed get into the move a little. This was wonderful for Laurie, because he was beginning to believe he would be fine in any dance with Ed. But Ed still didn't have the motion right, and with the panic pressed down, the dancer in Laurie emerged.

“Feel it. Watch me move and try to mirror what I'm doing. Don't fight your hips, Ed. Use them.”

Ed frowned, but he nodded, staring at Laurie's hips as he tried to focus.

“Relax,” Laurie whispered, dodging Ed's foot as he missed a step by trying too hard. “It's a natural movement. Your hips want to do it, Ed. Let them.”

And all of a sudden, he was. It took him a minute to realize he'd gotten it, and when he did, he laughed and ruined it again, but he had it back soon enough, and it wasn't long before Ed was grinning and spinning Laurie out into a turn.

“Show me something fancy to knock Mom's socks off,” he said.

Laurie hesitated. Should he keep at this or let it go? He felt like he shouldn't encourage himself, but he didn't want to stop either. “I could teach you the Cucaracha step,” he offered, and Ed beamed.

He left the music going, because Ed was good enough that it wouldn't matter. “It's the same step, quick-quick, slow, but you take my hands by the palms and we move from side to side.” Laurie positioned their hands together and nudged them to the left. “We're not really stepping. We're almost moving in place.” He nodded to the right, and Ed picked it right up, leading them in the other direction. “You can modify the dance between the three moves: box, turn, and Cucaracha, and your mother's socks should be in a great deal of jeopardy. But
stop rising
, Ed. Use your hips.”

“Shit! Sorry,” Ed said and put his focus back on his hips again. It wasn't long before he had all three steps down perfectly, executing perfect Cuban motion all the while.

“You're a very quick study,” Laurie allowed him, even smiling a little as he came back from a turn.

Ed wasn't smiling. He looked earnest and strange. The music ended, but Ed didn't let Laurie go. And Laurie didn't pull away. Catching a glimpse of the clock on the wall behind him, Laurie realized he'd just spent more than an hour and a half between the class and the extra lesson dancing with Ed. Ballroom dancing. No flashbacks, no ridiculous overblown reactions. No aching memories of Paul. Just dancing. And Ed.

“I want to come back,” Ed said. “I'll pay to take the class and bring my mom as partner.”

Laurie said nothing and looked away.
Say no. Say no. Say no
. But he couldn't think of a reason to give as to why, and he knew Ed would want one.

“Please.” Ed took a step closer, his expression pleading. “I swear I won't tease you anymore, ever.”

Laurie lifted an eyebrow.

Ed grinned. “Okay. I won't tease you
much
. But seriously, what do you say, boss? Can I come back?” He sobered a little. “
Laurie
. Can I come back, Laurie?”

Laurie gave up.

“You can come back,” he said, “but you're not paying for anything. And in exchange for helping me with the class, I'll give you any other lessons you want gratis. Your mother can stay at home.”

He regretted the last because it felt wrong after he said it, like he was coming on to Ed, and then he worried because he realized part of him was, if not to the man, then to the idea of dancing with someone again, which he knew was dangerous and very, very stupid. But Ed, privy to none of this, beamed.

“For real? You'll teach me more stuff"—he did a quick rumba box in place, hips moving in rather decent Cuban motion—"like this?”

“Yes.” Despite his own internal turmoil, Laurie couldn't help a smile. “But not tonight. I have to get home.”

“Sure, sure. You got things to do.” Ed backed away, still beaming as he tucked his hands into his pockets.

Laurie needed to get away from Ed and his silly grin. “So. I'll see you next week.”

“Sounds great.” Ed winked.

He's very handsome, Laurie thought, and then he swallowed. Hard. He needed to go home and soak his head. “Have a good evening, Ed.”

“You too, boss,” Ed called, and saluted as he headed back for the door.

“Laurie,” Laurie corrected him softly, and Ed didn't hear him, just sashayed out the door, Laurie watching until it closed behind him and he was gone.

Later that night, Ed lay awake in his bed, pressing an ice pack to the side of his neck as he stared up at the ceiling.

He'd gone to bed two hours ago, and he'd slept for a little while, but he'd lain on his neck funny, and now he couldn't sleep because it hurt. Once again, a full dose of ibuprofen had at best taken the edge off, so he was trying ice. Except there wasn't anything quite like ice to wake you way the fuck up. And since to ice his neck he had to lie flat on his back, he had nothing to do but think. Which meant he was thinking about the dance class, and he was thinking about Laurie.

Ed did enjoy dancing. He always had, and he
had
taken ballroom as therapy, and he
did
like it. But Laurie's class had been different, and he didn't know why. Maybe because Laurie was so bristly? But that didn't explain why it was different. That just explained that Laurie was a head case. And he really was a head case. Goddamn, but twice Ed had thought Laurie was going to pass out. What the hell was he so worked up about?

And why had he seemed so much better when he was dancing with Ed?

The cold was starting to hurt, so Ed shifted the pack and laid his head back down again, but after a few minutes of not sleeping, he gave up. Sitting up, he turned on the light beside his bed, fumbled into some boxers, and padded out into the living room to watch some TV.

He tripped over a laundry basket full of clothes, swore, and stubbed his toe on a hand weight that had fallen off the pile of junk on top of an overflowing dresser. Limping, he navigated his way more carefully the rest of the way through the darkness to his living-room area, where he fumbled with the lamp, remembered he hadn't changed the bulb, then limped to the other lamp on top of the stereo cabinet. When that bulb also proved to be burned out, he swore again and headed over to the front door, where the light switch was easily findable on the wall, and he knew the light worked.

Now that he could see, he rooted through the pile of junk on the couch, marveling briefly to see that
this
was where that new toilet paper had ended up, found the remote, and settled in on top of probably clean laundry he hadn't gotten around to folding. He surfed aimlessly, landing on an infomercial for a memory-foam pillow-and-mattress set because the blond male model kind of gave him an erection.

He was too tired and too sore to jack off, though, and when the male model gave way to a female, Ed's attention drifted back to dancing and to Laurie.

Somehow the evening had softened Ed's feelings about him, even when he'd kicked him out for no reason and then called him back to teach him Cuban motion like he wasn't going to sleep if he didn't. He still thought Laurie was a snot. A rich, spoiled snot who was mostly in his way. Except...well, outside of being snippy, he hadn't been a snot tonight. He was just different, that was all. He was a neurotic mess, but he wasn't as arrogant as Ed had been thinking he was. It had been nice of him to give Ed lessons. And once he let go, once he got the corncob out of his ass, he was actually pretty fun. Cute too.

Not Ed's type, though. Not even close.

But Laurie changed when he was teaching. He'd been good with the couples—weirdly nervous but good. And he'd been amazing when he'd been teaching Ed about the hip thing. He was better than any coach Ed had ever had on the field, and he'd had some damn good coaches. Laurie made you want to do well, not to please him but to get it
right
. Except Ed had wanted to please Laurie too. Because as they were doing that last dance, all he could think of was how he wanted to come back and do it again.

Ed turned off the TV and the light and shuffled back to his bed, moving the ice pack from his pillow and setting it on the bedside table on top of a dirty plate resting on top of a stack of magazines. He took a second to make sure it wasn't all going to topple over, then rolled on his side and stared out across the room into the open door of his closet, where junk was spilling out randomly onto the floor. His eyes fell on a pair of cleats, and he studied them for a minute.

The thing was, teaching the class at the center had felt good, but dancing with Laurie had felt better. It just wasn't the same to tell other people how to lift weights as it was to lose himself in something. To fight with something and achieve it. To wrestle with his own body and convince it that it could do more than it wanted to. And dancing had been fun. Really fun. Dancing with Laurie, sparring with him—all of it had been fun. And when he'd been doing the rumba with the Cuban motion done right, he'd felt a buzz like he hadn't felt since he quit playing for the Lumberjacks. Like he'd been eating cardboard pizza for five years and gotten used to it, and now somebody had waggled a Chicago-style deep dish under his nose. He had to have more.

So why the hell hadn't that happened when he'd taken the class with his mom?

His eyes unfocused as he remembered the way it had felt to take Laurie in his arms, to touch him, to watch him move. He was really good, that much Ed could tell. Laurie made it look so easy. But he made it beautiful too. It was different, dancing with Laurie.

Fuck, maybe it was just that he was a guy. Ed hadn't ever done that before—danced with another man—not like he had tonight. Sure, he'd ground against a guy at a club. Who the fuck hadn't? But he'd never
danced
with a guy before. Never held hands and put his hand on a guy's waist as he turned him around, then met him back again for another round. Never had a guy tell Ed to move his hips, to be sexy, to listen to his body, not outside of a bedroom.

It was like some sort of flip side to football: using his body again, not just building it. Laurie had been pushing him so hard to get that motion right, and it had been a real rush, pushing right back. And it hadn't hurt his neck at all.

If only Laurie weren't such a sourpuss about everything. And what the fuck was that about, Laurie getting so upset when he found out Ed was gay?

Of course, Ed was still trying to figure out why he'd told Laurie he was gay in the first place.

Ed rolled onto his back again, wrestling the sheets into place and arranging his pillow carefully under his neck, trying to ward off further pain incidents. Well, whatever it was that drew him to dancing, he was going to get to do it again in a week. Maybe he could practice a little every night to make sure he didn't forget anything. He'd spend the next week gearing up, and on Thursday he'd even stop by Laurie's class after just to say hi, to show him he was done teasing him and being a shit. And then on Tuesday he'd get lessons again.

He'd get to hold Laurie again.

Ed rolled his eyes at himself. But that didn't stop the warm feeling he got when he thought about holding the other man, of moving with him, of spinning him out and catching him when he came back. And it didn't go away, not even when he closed his eyes.

Thoughts of dancing with Laurie lingered too on Wednesday, even that night when he was out with the guys. In fact, at one point he'd been about to throw a dart when he saw somebody slow dancing with a girl across the bar, and the next thing he knew, the guys were waving hands in front of his face and laughing, asking him if somebody hit his head again. Ed had laughed too, but he'd been faking it.

He'd been thinking about dancing with Laurie.

When Thursday came around, Ed found he was excited for his weight class at the center, but he was also eager to see Laurie. Which was just weird. They weren't going to dance. It was just that shit music and Laurie screaming. What the fuck was there to look forward to in that? But Ed was. And this time, when he heard the disco pounding its way into the hall, he didn't grumble at all. He just smiled.

Until he got into the weight room and heard the disco in there too, louder than it had ever been.

When Laurie saw Ed come through the door at the back of the gym, he braced for another assault. But no sooner did he gird himself than he remembered dancing with him, of the way he'd charmed the dance class, and his inner fortifications crumbled under a sense of betrayal.

And then he watched fifteen ragtag young men follow in after Ed, and Laurie faltered midstep, because he had no idea what was happening now, especially when he saw that Ed and his tribe were not approaching the stage but were instead assembling peacefully in an open area back by the bleachers. Laurie let his body move through the aerobic routine on autopilot while his mind tried, and failed, to figure out what Ed was up to. Laurie was still shouting out the beats and instructions, but he wasn't watching to make sure his students were keeping up. All Laurie was doing right now was watching Ed and keeping up a facade of instruction. But after five minutes of this, he still had no idea what in the hell what was going on.