Dance of Ashes and Smoke (Age of Monsters Book 1) (20 page)

S
now blew up into the air as I made my way down the mountain. Black stained the sky, the sun still a couple hours from rising. Hopefully no one would notice my absence until a couple hours after that. I’d waited until everyone had cleared out of the Wolf Cabin and Liv and Adele were asleep.

They couldn’t be part of what I was about to do. I couldn’t put them in any more danger. I refused. And I didn’t trust our new friends to have the same priorities as me. They probably wanted to become besties with the sorceress, get her over on their side for their first step towards peace.

I simply wanted her dead.

The stars sparkled above me, even brighter than I was used to, like a bowl of glitter spilled across black velvet. The snow brightened the road, lighting my way. It was treacherous as the ATV slipped on the slick trail, but the tires were good and I made it to the bottom of the mountain without mishap.

I shoved away the tendrils of guilt plucking at me. Taking care of the sorceress myself would keep Liv and Adele safe and they’d been through enough. They’d be happy with the Uprising in a way I never could.

The bitter wind burned my face and chapped my lips even worse as I flew down the street. The ATV I was on was pushing sixty, but with the slick, icy roads, I didn’t want to chance going faster. I kept driving as the sun began its ascent, bringing color back into the world, aimed at the horizon.

Those two whispered words between Jackson and Malek were the reason I was on my way to a random Georgia town. I’d checked on the message boards and found nothing about the town or the sorceress, but it was a place to start and the only lead I had.

After the sun burned high in the sky, I pulled over to pee and check the map, making sure I was still on the right track. I did a few stretches to soften the aches still clinging to my muscles. Apparently the Phoenix shifter could only heal open wounds, nothing internal. Or maybe he only used his tears for big things. Did he save tears and run out, forced to heal only what was necessary or could he cry on demand? Either way I didn’t trust him. My body was still stiff and sore from the fight and hours hunched over the handlebars of the ATV hadn’t helped.

With a groan, I clambered back onto it and continued on, the ghosts of my family always beside me, flying and flitting about, reminding me of the reason I was out there. I let them wrap around me, to keep me company, to fuel me with strength and resolve and bravery.

I reached the edge of the town by afternoon, hiding the ATV in a grove of trees, heading the rest of the way on foot. The stench reached me first. Rotten meat, a hot landfill, and iron.

My stomach rolled, and I bit back the bile burning my throat, unable to force my feet to keep moving, not wanting to see whatever was causing the stink.

E
veryone was dead.

Bodies filled the streets. Bent and broken mothers, fathers, children, grandparents, sisters, brothers. Silent tears spilled down my face as I picked my way through the carnage. There were several different causes of death—blood loss, fire, trampled. It looked like every type of monster had reigned terror down on this town.

Had the sorceress led the charge? Brought them here?

Clearly Jackson and Malek didn’t mean the sorceress was hiding here, but if they knew she was headed here, why hadn’t they stopped it? I couldn’t tell when it had happened, but it hadn’t been long.

Why would they do this? Why would they wipe out an entire town instead of transporting them to one of the cities? And how had this town stayed off the radar for so long?

One of the bodies lying in the doorway of a flower shop coughed. I hurried over to her and knelt in the pool of blood way too similar to the one beneath Olivia only days ago.

I searched for the source of the wound, finding it on her stomach. It was completely ripped open, her insides resting outside her body. How was she alive? I had no idea how to help her.

She swallowed and tried to speak, but only a whining rasp came from her mouth.

“Shh. Don’t try to talk.”

“We had no chance. They came for us in the night. We thought we were safe. We thought they didn’t know about us.”

“Who came?”

“A blond woman. A witch. She brought them here. She just watched while they...” She broke off with a sob. “My children. My husband. Everyone.”

My hands hovered over her, wanting to try to staunch the blood, but afraid to hurt her worse. All I could do was hold her as she died.

I closed her eyes and covered her stomach back up with her coat, praying she would find her family and peace.

Where was I supposed to go from here? I had no leads, I refused to turn tail and return to the Uprising, especially with nothing to show for it.

Before I could begin to make a decision, loud rumbling motors shattered the quiet. I ducked deeper into the flower shop, watching the street through the back window.

ATVs and a truck and a motorcycle I recognized drove through town.

They’d found me.

With a heaving sigh, I left the shop. Liv would never forgive me if I hid from her in the middle of this horror show, not letting her know I was okay.

The vehicles screeched to a halt at my exit. Alcott’s old bike left the taste of burning rubber in the air as Liv painted the streets with a streak of black. She didn’t bother turning the engine off before flying from it and racing towards me.

I prepared myself for a punch in the face or a hug. But she did neither. She grabbed my arm and hauled me away from the others, fury evident in every way except for the lack of steam piping from her ears.

Around the corner, out of sight of everyone, she stopped, and released me like touching me burned her. “I don’t even know what to say to you. I practiced the entire way here and now that I’m with you, I’m too pissed off to form thoughts or words.”

I didn’t reply, waiting for the deluge sure to come.

“What? You don’t have anything to say for yourself?”

“I thought I explained myself pretty well in the letter I left.”

“You selfish dick. I can’t believe I need to repeat myself to you again. You aren’t the only one with a dog in this fight. Over half the people back on the mountain have lost someone to the sorceress. They all want justice. They all want to take her down. You aren’t special. You didn’t lose more than the rest of us or hurt more than the rest of us. And what you’re after isn’t justice. You aren’t doing it so it won’t happen to someone else’s family. You’re doing it for revenge. Eye for an eye. She killed your family, so you kill her. And then what? What’s going to drive you if you happen to win on your own against her? What are you going to fight for? Believe in? I thought we were in this together. I told you I was with you even if you wanted to leave. But you took my choice away from me. I chose you and you spat in my face, coddling me like I’m a child. I did the same training as you and am a better shot than you. You’d be dead over and over and over again if it wasn’t for me saving your ass.”

“And I couldn’t stand to lose you.” I roared the words in her face. “I’ve lost everyone and everything. I let myself feel the tiniest tendril of hope and it was smashed while you bled out beneath me and the boy I was falling for fell from the sky revealing himself as a monster. You wanted to stay there on the mountain, I could tell. I didn’t want to be selfish and force you to leave with me because I couldn’t stay.”

“You wouldn’t have forced me. I told you I chose it. I knew from the moment you told me everything you weren’t going to stay even though it’s the stupidest decision you’ve ever made, and that’s saying something. I didn’t say it to manipulate you into staying or because I’m an idiot and can’t read you after all this time. And I get that you were hurt and upset over Jax lying to you about who he really is. I’d be pissed too. But you’re not pissed about him lying. You’re pissed you’re in love with someone you view as an enemy. You think he’s beneath you, but he’s the same guy. You’re being a freaking bigot, blaming him for what happened to us when he’s fought against his own kind to protect us. He saved us twice—maybe more than that, who the hell knows? Forgive him, don’t forgive him. Love him, don’t love him. It doesn’t matter. But don’t lie to yourself and run away from a good thing. We could actually make a difference in this world by joining up with them.”

“You think peace is actually possible?” I grabbed with desperation at any argument I could find.

“I think it’s something worth fighting for or giving my life for, yeah. I don’t want to live for revenge with no hope for a better world. And the girl I used to know who loved to make beauty through dance and celebrate life didn’t want to live like that either.”

When had we grown so far apart? “I’m not that girl anymore.” Each day I became more and more like the monster I hunted, letting what she did warp me into becoming like her.

But what else could I do? I had to end her.

No matter what.

Right?

Liv’s mouth twisted with ill humor. “If that’s true, then go. I won’t stop you, I won’t come with you. But if there’s any part of you that remembers what it’s like to feel the swell of music so powerful it makes you feel invincible, like anything’s possible, then come back with me. Or ask me to come with you. It’s your choice.” She turned away, but paused and threw words meant to draw blood. “It’s Christmas tomorrow and there’s going to be a celebration to boost morale. Adele is really excited.”

She left me standing there surrounded by blood and death, searching for hope, for belief.

A
battle raged in my heart and head. Her words hit each mark, leaving me stripped away and dripping blood to mix with what I stood in. Part of me longed to return with her. It’d be nice to have backup, and it’d be easy to let someone else take the reins and go back to taking orders. But I didn’t know if I could forgive or work with Jackson. I didn’t know if I could summon the humility to walk out there and admit I needed them.

And I still didn’t want to take Olivia away from a cause she wanted to join, but I didn’t want to lose her either. If I left her, she wouldn’t be waiting around for me later if I survived. She’d have a cause, a fight, a belief, and I’d be ravaged by hate, twisted into the same monster I was intent on hunting.

Or I could finally learn humility and follow Liv’s lead for once. Give up my vendetta for her. And for Adele. It hit me how upset she must have been to wake up and find one more person from her life gone.

Liv was right.

I was a selfish dick.

Everywhere I looked, there was a dead person, a life cut short because of a war we could never win. An entire town wiped out on the whim of the woman I was after. Did I really think I could take her on alone? After she almost killed us two, possibly three times? After she caused the death of my parents and brother?

And after she’d apparently armed herself with a ring of monsters as a shield between her and me.

My shoulders slumped with part relief, part defeat. Telling myself I had no choice, I turned to return to the others. But Liv had stripped away my self-deception, ripping off layer after layer until every shred of armor I’d strapped onto myself was gone.

And I didn’t know how to rebuild myself. To protect myself.

Jackson slipped around the corner before I could and sent me stumbling to a halt, pulse thumping hard.

He shot me a weak grin, the hint of the guy I knew trembled at the edges of his lips. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Are you coming back with us or moving on?”

“I’m coming back.”

He fought a smile, but his eyes danced with the slightest hint of hope and happiness. “I’m glad. And look, I’ll stay out of your way. I don’t want to make it harder on you or awkward. But we need you in this fight. And, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you need us too.”

“I know.” I bit my lip. “And you don’t have to avoid me. Adele loves you and she doesn’t deserve to lose anyone else from her life.”

His eyes narrowed. “That’s what convinced you, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “Partly. It’s what gave me the push I needed to accept everything else.”

“I really am so sorry. And sorry about how I was last night.”

“I know.”

He fell in beside me as I continued taking the hardest steps of my life, stomach jumping as I worried what my reception would be.

“Don’t worry. No one’s pissed. Summer would have let you go, but Liv was having none of it, so we came along to make sure you were okay and to make sure she didn’t kill herself finding you.”

“How’d she know where to find me?” I asked.

His steps slowed. “I remembered what you probably overheard and misunderstood last night. If I had been myself I’d have explained what you heard and spared you this.”

“I needed to see it.”

“I didn’t.” He gripped my elbow lightly in his hand to stop me. “There’s something I need you to know that might help you.”

I raised a brow, confused and slipped my arm from his grip, not letting myself rub it and reveal I could still feel his touch.

“The sorceress...she killed my family too.”

My stomach plummeted. “What?”

“Pegasi never join on the side of evil. We veer more towards heroic humans. It’s part of our nature. The sorceress and those like her have no use for us because we refuse to help or carry them. My constellation refused her personally, so she wiped them out. All of them. I was the only one left because I was in college across the world. This all happened before they took over, but only by a couple years. So, trust me when I say I have no desire to work for or help the other side.”

“That’s terrible.” Shame filled my cheeks. I’d been so focused on my own desires, I’d never really asked him about his family. Never considered he had the same heartbreak I did. And even worse—I still had Olivia. He was all alone.

Refusing to over think it, I wrapped my arms around him, smiling a little when he sank against me with a groan and buried his face in my neck, hands tentative on my back.

After a moment, I pulled away, ignoring the longing to stay there forever. I wasn’t ready for anything more than a strained friendship. He read it on my face and nodded with sad eyes.

We returned to the others, a thick, heavy silence between us crackled with tension and longing, secrets and lies.

Liv grinned in relief when she read the surrender on my face. I tried to smile back at her, but I couldn’t summon one, too raw and unsure if I’d made the right choice. If I was letting my family down. If I was bringing the darkness and death following me to the few loved ones I had left.

I shook free of my wallowing morbidity and turned to Summer. “I’m sorry I stole one of your vehicles.” The words were crushed glass shredding the inside of my mouth.

She smiled and shrugged. “You left a pretty good replacement behind.” More seriously, she added, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Tashia did this. I talked to a woman who survived long enough to tell me what happened.”

Summer’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Tell me.”

I replayed the conversation for them, fury and horror making it difficult to force the words out. Their gasps and groans didn’t help in the retelling. Halfway through, Liv’s hand wrapped around mine and I leaned into her. Jax hovered close to my back, wanting to give comfort, but not feeling welcomed.

Summer bowed her head for a moment, in thought or prayer, before blowing out a breath. “She is now our only priority. We will eat, sleep, and breathe every piece of information we can find on her.” She pierced me with her brown gaze. “I want you to tell me the details again of your encounters with her. I’d like to go through it a couple times, see if we can figure out her methods or weaknesses. Olivia already told me about the info you unearthed about her familiar and we’ll prepare for it, but I don’t want that to be the only weapon in our arsenal.”

It was nice, letting someone else figure out the next move, taking charge. Especially since I agreed with her plans.

We loaded up, me on the back of Liv’s motorcycle, and made our way back to Blood Mountain as a sort of badass convoy.