Dames Don’t Care (20 page)

"OK baby," I say "Now let's take it easy."

"Damn you, Lemmy," she says. "What a fool I was to even give you a chance."

"You're tellin' me," I say. "Why you didn't plug me while I was drinkin' that bourbon I don't know. Still I never did know a dame who was really swell with a gun."

She don't say nothin'. She is just breathin' hard. I throw her gun over the veranda an' still holdin' her by the arm I walk over to the electric standard lamp that is in the other corner of the room an' I switch it on. Then I take a look at her. She is still smilin' but it is a hard sorta smile.

"Well, here's where we go, lady," I say. "I reckon you played your hand as well as you could an' it didn't quite come off. You know," I tell her, "if you'd had any sense you'da shot me while I was drinkin' that bourbon. Then I'da been nice an' dead by now. Then you coulda got your friend Luis to chuck me in some hole around here an' nobody would have ever known that that big bad wolf Lemmy Caution had come bustin' around annoym' poor little Paulette. Tough luck, baby!"

"That's as maybe," she says - her voice is sorta tense - "but I'll be glad to know what you're charging me with. You say you're a Federal Agent, but I've no proof of that. I've never seen your badge. I find you here in my house in the middle of the night. I'm entitled to take a shot at you. This is Mexico."

"That's OK," I say. "An' maybe you could get away with a story like that. But I ain't worryin' about them shots you had at me. I woulda worried if they'd got me an' they didn't. I ain't pinchin' you for them shots. I'm pinchin' you for some thing else."

She flops down on a chair an' she starts cryin'. The way she is sittin' her robe has fallen hack a bit an' I can see a piece of leg. I get to thinkin' that this Paulette sure has got legs that are easy to look at. I don't say nothin'. I just stick around waitin' for her to try an' pull somethin' else.

After a bit she stops cryin' an' looks up at me. She looks sweller than ever. She sorta smiles through the two big teardrops that are hangin' in her eyes. I'm tellin' you that this Paulette is one helluva actress, an' I would back her, under ordinary luck, to kid a Bowery tough that he was travellin' in ladies' powder puffs an' likin' it.

"Get me a drink, Lemmy," she says.

I go over an' get her one. I give her a strong one. I reckon she needs it, an' she will need it more before I am through with her. I take it back to her an' watch her while she is drinkin' it.

She puts the glass down.

"I know I've been a fool, Lemmy," she says, sorta soft, with her eyes lookin' at the floor, "but you must try and understand. I told you how I felt about Rudy, and I had an idea that you were going over there to put him through the mill. I knew that once there you would drag up all that old stuff and remind him of something that I wanted him not to remember just now - that I'd made a fool of myself over Granworth Aymes. I didn't want him to be bothered just at the time when he is dying and trying to think all the best things of me that he can. So I telephoned Daredo. I told him to get somebody to wait for you and hold you somewhere so that you couldn't get at Rudy. But I told him that I didn't want you hurt."

Some tears started runnin' down her face again.

"You bet I didn't want you hurt," she goes on. "I don't expect you to believe me, Lemmy, but I'm telling you that, even though I've only known you for a few hours, I felt that you are the sort of man who might really mean something in my life."

She looks up an' her eyes are swimmin'.

"Don't you see, Lemmy," she says. "Don't you see... I love you!"

I look at this dame with my mouth floppin' open. I reckon that when they was issuin' out nerve they issued this kiddo with enough to run the Marines on. Here is a dame who has just been on the point of blastin' me down with a.38 gun an' she is now tellin' me that she loves me!

An' the joke is that the dame has got somethin'. She has got that sorta thing that makes you wanta believe her even though you know all the time that she is a first-class four-flushin' double-dealin' twicin' sister of Satan who would take a sleepin' man for the gold stoppin' in his right hand eye tooth.

I look at her an' wonder. Maybe you heard about that classy dame Cleopatra who slipped a bundle into Marc Antony when the guy wasn't lookin'. Maybe you heard of Madame de Pompadour who had the King of France so heel-tied that he thought backwards just so's he wouldn't ever come up for air an' know he was nuts.

Well, I'm tellin' you that this Paulette was born outa her time. She oughta been born in the Middle Ages just so's she coulda pulled a fast one on Richard Coeur de Lion an' kidded him that he was a Roman gladiator with knock-knees. This dame is so good that she almost believes herself.

"Listen, honeybunch," I tell her. "So far as I am concerned I reckon it is a great pity that you didn't find all this stuff about lovin' me out before you started that act with the gun. An' I can catch on that you certainly didn't want me around at Zoni askin' Rudy questions an' findin' out one or two things about you - such as the fact that you was stringin' around with Granworth Aymes; that he was your sugar daddy an' that you was the guy who helped pull the wool over the eyes of that poor sap of a husband of yours while Granworth was doin' the big plunderin' act.

"An' do you think that I don't know why you are pullin' this lovin' wife act now. I reckon it is because you wanted to make certain that you was goin' to have the dough after Rudy's dead. It wouldn'ta been so hot for you if he'd left it to somebody else because he didn't like your bein' Granworth's lovin' baby, huh? It woulda been tough if after kiddin' Granworth into handin' back the dough he'd pinched from Rudy, an' then dyin' an' gettin' himself outa the way, Rudy told you to take a bite of air an' handed over the money to some home for Mangy Rattlesnakes. That woulda been too much for you, wouldn't it?

"So you start doin' a big act with Rudy. You make out that you are the naughty little wife who only wants her sick husband to forgive her so's she can start all over, an' the poor mutt does it, an' even while he is dyin' you are kickin' around with that lousy gringo Luis Daredo."

She don't say nothin'. I just watch her like a snake just to see how she is takin' all this hooey that I am handin' out to her. She sits there lookin' at me with the tears runnin' down her face.

"OK, Paulette," I tell her. "You an' me is goin' upstairs an' you are goin' to get yourself dressed an' then we are goin' places, an' don't try anything on wil lya, because I would just hate to get really tough with you."

She sticks her chin up.

"Supposing I refuse to go," she says. "I'm an American citizen and I've rights. Where's your warrant? Where are you going to take me? I want a lawyer."

"Baby," I tell her. "Don't get me annoyed. I ain't got any warrant but I have got a very big hand an' if I have any more hooey outa you I am goin' to put you across my knees an' I am goin' to knock sparks outa that portion of your chassis that was made for slidin' on. As for wantin' a lawyer, as far as I care you can have six hundred lawyers all workin' overtime with wet towels round their domes, but even that mob couldn't get you outa the jam you're in. So take it easy an' be a good girl otherwise I'm goin' to smack you plenty."

I take her upstairs an' I stick around while she gets her things on. After this I look around for the Mexican jane but she ain't there, so it looks as if she has scrammed some place.

Paulette ain't sayin' a thing. She just looks like hell. When she is ready I take her outa the house an' back to where the car is. In the car I got a coupla pair of police bracelets an' I shackle up Paulette an' stick her in the back so's she can't move.

I get in the car an' start off. I reckon I have gotta move plenty quick otherwise some of Daredo's pals may get around an' find him an' he might decide to start something else. I would like to take this Luis Daredo along too, but you gotta realise that this guy is a Mexican an' I do not want to start any complications, so I reckon I will take a chance about him not startin' anything when I have gone.

I tread on it an' get ahead as fast as I can. I pull on to the main road leadin' to the State intersection an' pretty soon we pass the spot where Luis is lyin' in the cactus without any pants. I take a peek behind an' look at Paulette. She sees him too, an' in spite of everythin' she has to smile. That guy certainly did look a sight.

After a bit the road gets better an' we whiz, an' pretty soon we pull on to the State road to Yuma.

The day has started an' the sun is comin' up. I start singin' Cactus Lizzie which, as I have told you before, is a song that I am very partial to.

I reckon that I have got to do a hundred an' fifty miles to Yuma, an' I wanta do it quick.

There are two-three things that I have gotta fix down there pronto, because if the ideas that I have got in my head are right there is plenty goin' to start happenin'.

I light myself a cigarette, an' I throw a look over my shoulder at Paulette. She is lyin' back in the seat with her hands, with the steel bracelets on 'em, in her lap.

"One for me, Lemmy," she says, smilin'.

I light a cigarette an' lean back an' put it in her mouth. She nods her head. I turn around again.

"You know, Lemmy," she says after a bit. "Aren't you taking a bit of a chance? I imagine you are holding me as a material witness, but I have yet to know the authority on which a Federal Agent can handcuff and take an American woman out of Mexican territory just because he thinks that she may have important evidence. Because that's all you've got on me. I'm just a material witness. You can't bring charges against me for attempting to shoot you, because I'm entitled to shoot any man I find in my house at night."

She takes a puff at her cigarette.

"I think that I'm going to make things very difficult for you, Lemmy," she says.

I look at her over my shoulder.

"Look, Paulette," I say. "You can take a pull at yourself an' don't talk hooey. I don't give a durn about your takin' a shot at me. An' I ain't takin' you back as a material witness or anything else like that, so don't start tellin' yourself what you're goin' to do to me, because you're takin' yourself for a ride, honeybunch, an' I'd hate to see you disappointed."

"I see," she says. "Then if I'm not a material witness, an' you're forgetting about the shooting, may I be so curious as to ask just for what you are taking me somewhere for?"

"OK, honey," I tell her. "Here it is. I'm takin' you back to Palm Springs just because I wanta take you there, an' when I get you there I'm chargin' you with first-degree murder."

I give her another cigarette over my shoulder.

"I'm chargin' you with the murder of Granworth Aymes on the night of the 12th January," I tell her, "an' how do you like that?"

CHAPTER 12

HOOEY FOR TWO

I
T Is eleven o'clock at night when I pull the car up outside Metts' house in Palm Springs.

Paulette seemsta have settled down a bit. She has also got the idea that she is gain' to make a big sap outa me before she is through.

I stuck around at Yuma for a coupla hours because I wanted to telephone through to Metts an' tell him one or two things so that he wouldn't be too surprised when I showed up an' I also had a spot of business to do over the 'phone with the Mexican authorities at Mexicali an' another spot with the New York Office. I stuck around there for a bit so's Paulette could get her hair done, an' also so that we shouldn't arrive at Metts' place at Palm Springs before night because I have got an idea that I don't want anybody to see Paulette. I am goin' to keep her nice an secret for a bit.

I hand her over to Metts in his sittin' room.

"This is Paulette Benito," I tell him, "an' I am chargin' her with first-degree murder of Granworth Aymes. I'd be glad if you'd book her on that an' hold her pendin' extradition to the State of New York. I think that maybe two or three days in the lock-up here would do this dame a quite lotta good. It might sorta get her mind nice an' peaceful so's she feels like talkin'."

"That's OK by me," says Metts.

He rings the bell an' tells a cop to get through to the Police Office an' have a sergeant take Paulette along an' book her. He says that she is to be held incommunicado pendin' further instructions.

Paulette just stands there. She is lookin' fine. She has got her hair done very nice like I told you at Yuma, an' she has got a swell suit on an' ruffles. She looks like she would have to take two bites to eat a lump of butter.

She smiles at me an' Metts.

"Very well," she says. "You have it your own way now, Lemmy, but believe me I'm going to make the Federal Service too hot to hold you before I'm through with you. And I insist on a lawyer. I'm entitled to one and I'm going to have one. Any objections, or are you going to twist the legal constitution of the United States to suit yourself?"

"That's OK by me, Paulette," I tell her. "Mr Metts here will get a good lawyer sent around to you in the morning. An' then what? I reckon you an' him can have a great time together while you tell him how you didn't kill Granworth. But you ain't goin' to be sprung. You ain't goin' to get no bail or get outside the lock-up until I say so, so you can bite on that an' like it."

She smiles at me. She shows her little white teeth an' I don't reckon I have ever seen such pretty teeth except maybe Henrietta's.

The copper comes in to take her.

"Au revoir, Lemmy," she says. "What a cheap fiatfoot you are! You didn't really think that I'd fallen for you, did you?"

"Me - I never think at all where dames are concerned," I crack back at her. "I just let them do the thinkin'. Well, so long, Paulette. Don't do anything that you wouldn't like your mother to know about."

The copper takes her away.

I tell Metts just as much of the works as I want him to know, an' I tell him just how I am goin' to play this thing from now on. Metts is a good guy, an' he has got brains, an' he sees that what I am doin' is the only way to play this job. So he cuts in an' says I can rely on him the whole durn way.