Dames Don’t Care (14 page)

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Authors: Peter Cheyney

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BOOK: Dames Don’t Care
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I fix myself up nice an' pretty. I put on a swell grey suit I have got an' a light grey fedora an' a silver grey tie, just so's to kid myself that I am goin' places, an' then I ease over to Metts' office at the police headquarters an' say how-do.

Metts gives me his office an' a cigar an' I sit there an' wait.

Pretty soon two cops bring in Henrietta. She is lookin' good an' surprised, an' she is also lookin' very swell. Boy, can that dame pick clothes an' wear 'em!

She is wearin' a lemon coloured suit that comes from some place where they know how to cut 'em. She is wearin' a brown silk shirt, a lemon panama wIth a brown silk band, brown an' white buckskin shoes an' tan silk stockin's.

She sits down in the chair that they have put for her on the other side of the big desk an' I see her lookin' at my hat which I have got well over one eye. The two highway cops go out an' leave us.

"Good morning, Lemmy," she says, like we was very old friends. She smiles at me. "What's happening?" she goes on. "Am I under arrest? An' I do wish you'd take your hat off to a lady."

"Nuts, sister," I tell her. "An' get a load of this. Whether I'm goin' to pinch you this mornin', or hold you as a material witness, or just grill you, I ain't quite decided. But I don't have to take my hat off when I'm talkin' to suspected crooks if I don't wanta, an' you can can all that nice stuff because you are beginnin' to make me tired. Got that?"

She looks as if she had been hit with a black-jack. Is she surprised? An' I don't wonder at it. Last night she is doin' a big act wIth me an' maybe thinks that she has got me where she wants me an' this mornin' I come back with some tough stuff that shakes her plenty. Wouldn't you be surprised?

"I've got it," she says finally, sorta cold. "And where do we go from there?"

"Just this far, sweetheart," I tell her. "I've decided to have the investigation into your husband's death reopened. I've come to the conclusion that Granworth Aymes was murdered, an' I think that maybe you know a durn sight more about it than you'd like to tell. I am also inclined to believe that you are holdin' out on me over this counterfeitin' business. I may also bring charges against you for endeavouring to pass here, at this Bank in Palm Springs, a counterfeit United States Registered Dollar Bond, knowin' at the time that it was phoney, an' how do you like that?"

"It doesn't interest me very much," she says. "But I don't like it and I don't like you at all today. You're behaving like a pig. I suppose you think that after last night...

"Can it, Henrietta," I tell her. "Why don't you turn that stuff off. Say, do you think that dames haven't tried to make me before. That's old hooey. You thought that I was gettin' after you; that maybe I was goin' to make a pinch, so you try that soft stuff last night an' think that I'm goin' to go all goofy. You remember that guys can play dames just as well as dames can play guys."

"I see," she says. "I suppose that's why you thrashed Fernandez. You wanted to get the idea into my head that you were a decent sort of man instead of a cheap, blustering Federal cop. All right, I'm wise now."

"Swell, sister," I say, "an' so am I. Now you get a load of this an' just answer my questions, otherwise I'm goin' to make things hot for you."

"Are you?" she says sorta insolent. "And supposing I don't want to answer them. Supposing I refuse to answer any questions unless I have a lawyer here?"

"OK," I say. "If you wanta lawyer you get one, but I'm tellin' you this, if you getta lawyer around here I'm goin' to send you back to New York so that the police there can grill hell outa you, so if you wanta getta mouthpiece you get busy."

She smiles again - a sorta sneering smile. She looks at me like I was something that crawled out from under some rock.

"All right," she says. "I'll answer your questions. But I wish I were a man. I'd like to thrash you until all that cheap lousy conceit was knocked right out of you. Do you get that? Another thing," she goes on, sorta gettin' into her stride, "I've got a better name for you. They made a mistake when they called you Lemmy-they should have called you Lousy, it would have matched up better"

"You don't say," I tell her. "Just thinka that now. OK. Well, now, if you've had your little say, I'll get busy an' then you can get outa here an' try some of that soft stuff on somebody else - Maloney or Periera or Fernandez or anbody else that's around. But in the meantime I just wanta know this an' I advise you to make it straight too. I wanta know just how you was dressed on the evenin' of the 12th January, the time you had your last talk with Granworth? Now get busy."

I take a sheet of paper an' a pencil an' I wait. When I look up I see that she has opened her bag an' is takin' a cigarette out.

"An' you can cut that out too," I tell her. "This is a police station an' you ain't smokin' here. Put it away."

She flushes red an' puts the case back inta her bag. As she does this I take out a packet of Camels an' give myself one. She watches me light it an' if she coulda murdered me at that moment she woulda done it an' liked it.

"Come on now, Henrietta," I say. "Quit stallin' an' cash in. What were you wearin' when you come up to New York from Connecticut on the 12th January? Start at the top with your hat."

She smiles. This dame can certainly be annoym'.

"I may not be able to remember," she says, "but I'll try. I suppose you want to know everything - even to the colour of my step-ins.

She hands me out another sarcastic smile that was just poison.

"To tell you the truth I hadn't thought about your under-wear," I crack, "but since you mention it you can tell me about that too!"

She gets up.

"You cheap gorilla," she says. She is white with rage.

"I...

"
Sit down an' take it easy, sister," I say. "Cash in with the description includin' colour of underwear - remember you suggested it, not me-an' get busy. If you don't I'll seriously consider handin' you over to the woman warder here an' getting her to search, strip an' photograph you for birthrnarks. So just play along before I get really tough."

Henrietta sits down. She is almost chokin' with rage.

"Now, honeybunch," I say nice an' soothin'. "Here we go. Start at the top. What sorta hat was it?"

It is a coupla minutes before Henrietta can talk. She is near speechless an' I can see her hands 'tremblin'. Finally she gets going.

"I was wearing a hat made of Persian lamb," she says, an her voice is shakin', "a toque - but you probably wouldn't know what that means. Also I had on a Persian lamb swagger coat and underneath I was wearing a black suit with a white silk shirt. I had on beige stockings, black patent shoes with french heels and silver Louis buckles, and black suede gauntlet gloves."

"An' very nice too," I tell her. "I woulda like to have seen you, I reckon you musta looked swell, an' what about the step-ins?"

I look at her dead serious an' she looks up an' our eyes meet. She goes red an' drops hers. Then she sticks her chin out an' says:

"They were eau-de-nil-but you wouldn't know how to spell it."

"Oh, yeah," I crack, "I know. I've known dames before who used to wear eau-de-nil step-ins, only they wasn't so secret about it.

I ring the bell an' after a minute a copper comes in. Henrietta thinks that I am through with her, an' she gets up an' picks up her bag an' is just turning for the door when I start talkin'.

"Take Mrs Aymes to the record office an' fingerprint her, officer," I say. "Then when you've done that have her photographed, front and side faces, with an' without hat."

Henrietta spins around. Her eyes are blazin', an' for a moment I thought she was comm' for me with her bare hands, but the State policeman puts his fist out, grabs her an' starts to hustle her off.

She looks at me over her shoulder.

"You... you heel!" she hisses.

"Now, now, now, Henrietta," I tell her, shakin' my finger at her. "You mustn't talk like that to your little playmate, Lemmy! Bring her back when you're through," I tell the officer.

When they are gone I look at my watch. It is just after twelves. I ring the bell again an' another State copper comes in-it looks like Metts is keepin' 'em hangin' around for me-and says what do I want.

I tell him that a coupla his buddies are bringin' Periera and Fernandez in at twelve-thirty o'clock, an' that when they arrive at the station they are not to be brought into me until I ring for 'em. I tell him that two rings on the bell is the signal that they are to be brought in an' he says OK.

I then look through the list of Henrietta's clothes, an' I fix it the way I want, an' I then take it in to the stenographer in the next office an' tell him to make three copies of it.

While he is doin' this I light another cigarette an' go an' look outa the window. Pretty soon i see a police car draw up outside an' I see the officers bring in Periera and Fernandez. These two birds are lookin' good an' surprised I can tell you. I then go an' park myself in the chair an' put my feet on the desk.

A coupla minutes afterwards the door opens an' the first copper comes in with Henrietta.

"Everything OK?" I ask him.

He says yes, that they have fingerprinted the dame and photographed her like I said, an' the records clerk is makin' out a card now for the index.

I say all right an' that he can go. He goes an' leaves Henrietta standin' there in the middle of the floor lookin' at me.

She looks at me as if I was a large lump of mud. She looks from the tip of my fedora down to the soles of my shoes which are restin' on the top of the chief's cigar box. Then she gives her lip a curl an' looks just as if she was goin' to be sick.

Just at this minute I press the desk button which is fixed my side of the desk twice, an' in a coupla seconds the door opens an' the two State coppers come in with Periera and Fernandez.

I tell the coppers to scram. Then I wave my hand to the two guys.

"Sit down, boys," I tell 'em, very cheerful. "I wanna talk to you."

I motion them to go over an' sit on the long seat that is up against the wall. Henrietta is still standin' in the middle of the floor.

They go an' sit down.

"Periera," I say, "I want you to do something, an' you gotta watch your step in doin' it, because if you slip up then I'm goin' to get funny with you."

I point to Henrietta.

"It's about this dame here," I go on. "I ain't got any particular charge that I want to bring against her at the moment, but it's on the cards that I'm goin' to want her as a material witness for the State of New York. Metts, the Chief of Police here, ain't got any spare room around to keep her in, an' I've got to get outa town for a few days. So Metts is goin' to swear you in as a deputy an' it's goin' to be your business to keep an eye on this dame until we want her. Got that?"

He nods.

"I get eet," he says.

I turn around to Henrietta.

"You heard what I said, sweetheart, didn't you?" I tell her. "I'm lettin' you blow outa here an' you get back to the Hacienda Altmira until I want you, an' don't try an' get outside the Palm Springs limit otherwise I'm goin' to have you pinched pronto. OK. Now you scram outa here an' once you're outside you can smoke as much as you like. So long, baby, I'll be seem' you."

I give my fedora a sorta cheeky flip so's it's right over one eye, an'I waggle my feet on the desk. It works. She blows up.

"Yes," she hisses like a snake, "and you'll be seeing me," she gulps. "If you think that you can get away with this sort of thing you're very much mistaken," she goes on, "you're just a conceited, insolent, rough-housing gorilla who's no more fitted to carry a Federal badge an' have the authority that goes with it than the dirtiest dago that ever crawled over into this country. You're cheap and nasty, and one day I'm going to make you squirrn for this. In the meantime you can take this to go on with."

She takes a quick step forward an' before I can move she leans across the desk an' busts me in the face with her clenched fist. I tell you I was quite surprised.

Then she steps back, turns around on her heel an' walks out. I was watchin' her while she went, an' believe it or not she looked a picture. That Henrietta can certainly walk.

Fernandez grins.

"It looks like she ain't so pleased about something," he says.

I laugh.

"You wouldn't be if you was her," I say.

I take my feet off the desk an' at this minute the stenographer comes in with the duplicate lists of Henrietta's clothes.

"Now listen, Fernandez," I tell him. "I gotta idea. l gotta idea that we can pin this Aymes bump off on Henrietta all right, an' I reckon that once we got a capital charge against her I can make her squeal the rest of the stuff about the counterfeitin'. But I got to prove that she was the woman who was in the car with Aymes, an' once I can do that I got her all set. Once I can pin that on her an' it looks as if there's a life sentence for her in the bag, I reckon she'll blow the works on anything if she thinks that talkin' is goin' to help her any.

"Now I gotta idea how we can work. I been grillin' this Henrietta good an' plenty this mornin', an' I gotta description of the clothes she was wearin' on the 12th January, the day that Granworth died."

I get up an' I hand one of the duplicate clothes descriptions to Fernandez. He looks at it a long time.

"Do you remember her wearin' any stuff like that?" I ask him.

"I sorta remember the coat an' the hat," he says, "but I wouldn't know about that day. You see, I never saw her that day. I was off duty."

"That's OK, Fernandez," I say, "but here are two guys who could swear to those clothes. One of 'em is the maid at the Aymes apartment. I reckon that she packed Henrietta's bags an' looked after her kit before she went away to Hartford, didn't she?"

He raises his eyebrows.

"You bet" he says. "Marie Dubuinet-that's the maid-would know, an' I can tell you where you can contact her.

She's still in New York. She's personal maid to Mrs John Vlaford, an' she'd know. She's a durn intelligent girl is Marie.

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