Damaged Goods (28 page)

to know.” He paused. “I may not always be able to fix it. I mean, this job has

its…requirements. But don"t keep it from me if it"s bothering you.”

“I won"t.”

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137

“And if you need some time, just tell me,” he whispered. “I don"t think anyone

could get their head around this overnight.” He smoothed my hair. “Just remember

one thing: regardless of how anyone chooses to define what I do for a living, I"m not

selling what I"m giving you. If this isn"t something you can handle, I"ll understand,

but I swear to you, I"ve never given this to anyone. I wouldn"t dream of selling it,

even if I could.” He kissed me again, just barely letting his lips brush mine. “Just

tell me if you need to let this go.”

“Austin, I can"t…” I closed my eyes, unable to look at him while I tried to

gather my composure and struggled to pick a direction. Finally, I looked up at him

and just let the words come on their own.

“I can"t walk away from this.”

“Are you sure?” He stroked my hair. “If you think it"ll hurt or cause you more

stress than it"s worth—”

“I don"t care right now.”

“You tell me, then,” he whispered. “What do you want me to do?”

My voice shook as badly as his hands and my knees when I said, “I want you to

kiss me.”

Austin grabbed me and kissed me, throwing both of us off balance and pulling

the air right out of me. He gripped my hair like I gripped the back of his neck, and

we stumbled until my back hit the counter.

“Baby, I want you so bad,” he whispered between kisses. “Fuck, I…”

“Upstairs,” was all I could say.

In a tangle of limbs and deep, passionate kisses, we stumbled out of the

kitchen. All the way up the stairs and down the hall, we threw off clothes, kissed,

touched, and how the hell had I fooled myself into thinking this was anything but

real? And
right
? It had to be real. There was nothing fake about the way he kissed

me or the way I had to force myself not to drag him down to the floor like I"d done

one night not long ago. The way his hands gravitated to my face instead of my

breasts or anywhere else was anything but fake, anything but wrong.

He managed to flip the light switch when we got into the bedroom,

illuminating the room just before we fell into bed together. As soon as my back hit

the mattress, he was over me, kissing me just as hungrily as he had all the way up

the stairs.

Forget foreplay. Forget teasing each other. Forget anything other than getting

as close as two people could possibly get.

We both sat up and went for the nightstand drawer, and between the two of

us, we got the drawer open and one of those familiar gold foil squares out. Austin

put the condom on as quickly as his trembling hands would allow, and as soon as it

was in place, he threw me on my back, and I hauled him down with me. We kissed

breathlessly, desperately, and barely missed a beat when he thrust into me. I

moaned against his lips and hooked a leg around his waist, and he fucked me deep

and hard.

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Lauren Gallagher

Another moan finally forced me to break the kiss. “Oh, God, don"t stop,” I said,

rolling my hips and dragging my nails down his back.

“You feel so good,” he whispered. “But I"m not ready to come yet.” He pulled

out, and while my senses screamed for him to come back, my lips managed only a

whimper. I desperately wanted him inside me again, but I couldn"t protest the soft

touch of his lips and goatee on my neck. The flick of his tongue across the hollow of

my throat. The way he drew gentle, tantalizing circles around my nipple with his

tongue. When he continued down my belly, kiss by gentle kiss, my back arched, and

my hips squirmed beneath him. If there was one thing that could hold me over until

he was inside me again, it was his mouth, and as soon as his lips were around my

clit, I was halfway out of my mind.

There was no hiding what he did to me. Every sweep of his tongue made my

breath catch. He held my hips down with one arm, but neither of us could keep

them completely still while his tongue made those mind-bending figure-eights on

my clit.

And in turn, he responded to me. Each time I gasped, his body tensed, and he

shivered. When I whimpered with pleasure, he murmured against my clit and sent

me even higher. The things he did with his mouth were simply incredible. He loved

to talk dirty to me, and when he went down on me now, I swore he silently said

filthy things to my clit.

His fingers slipped into my pussy, and it took mere seconds to find my G-spot.

He stroked it, circled it, coaxing even more electricity into my senses. My breath

caught, and my body shook as if I was already in the throes of a powerful orgasm,

but it stayed just beyond my grasp. And still it built, intensifying with every circle

of his tongue and fingertips. I was desperate for that release, but he didn"t let me

go, not yet. I wanted to scream for it, but I couldn"t, and he kept it just out of my

reach.

Just when I thought I could take no more, when I"d held my breath so long the

world was turning white, he gave me the release I so desperately craved, and he

didn"t stop. Right through my orgasm, he kept going, striking the perfect balance of

keeping me in the stratosphere without overstimulating.

From somewhere outside myself, I thought I heard my own voice begging for

him to fuck me, to fuck me now, then pleading with him not to stop, not to stop,

don"t stop, please don"t stop…

And in the instant I came the second time, he did stop, but a heartbeat later,

he was over me and inside me, filling me completely and riding my breathtaking,

spine-shattering climax right to the end. It went beyond the kind of orgasm that

would make me scream and cry out and wake the neighbors. Like they had so many

times before, his deep, eager thrusts overwhelmed me into silence, but my climax

was as intense as any screaming, neighbor-waking orgasm I"d ever experienced.

Like the first time I was with Austin—like
every
time with Austin—my silence was

not a lack of passion, but an inability to even draw a breath,

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139

He kissed me, his tongue sweet with the taste of me, and I wrapped my arms

around him, holding him close to my trembling body and seeking every last taste of

my pussy in his mouth.

Gripping my shoulders tighter, he fucked me harder, and this time the gasp,

the shuddering tremor, and the moan of surrender were his. He threw his head

back, and with a near-silent release of a ragged breath, he thrust all the way inside

me and came.

He collapsed over me, holding me as tight as I held him, and rested his

forehead on my shoulder. I ran my fingers through his sweat-dampened hair,

closing my eyes and just breathing in the scent of him. The scent of us.

I can’t walk away from this.

My own words echoed in my mind, and it was probably the truest statement

I"d made in I didn"t know how long. What I felt for him, I realized in the afterglow of

such passionate lovemaking, wasn"t something I could ignore, let alone abandon, no

matter how challenging the circumstances.

Austin pushed himself up on shaking arms. When our eyes met, there were

tears in his, and when his lips parted, I knew the words before he spoke them.

“I love you, Jocelyn.”

“I love you too.” And I did. For all I"d questioned this, for all I worried, I loved

him. How could I not? I could barely believe there"d ever been a time when I
wasn’t

in love with Austin.

Caressing my face, he said, “You said before you were worried about this

happening with another client. And I know talk is cheap—it"s easy for me to say it

won"t—but…” He trailed off, swallowing hard. “But I need you to understand

something.”

I put my hand over his. “What"s that?”

“This hasn"t happened with anyone else,” he said softly. “I don"t mean just

clients.
Anyone
. Ever.” He moistened his lips. “I"ve been in love before, but never

like this. Not even close.”

“That makes two of us.” I raised my head and kissed him lightly. “I"m sorry,

Austin. About what I said earlier.”

“Don"t be,” he whispered. “This is an unusual situation. You have every right

to question it.”

“I know it"s unusual, but I didn"t…” I paused. “I wasn"t setting out to call you

insincere. I"m just—”

“I know, babe. I understand.” He kissed me lightly. “But I think we"re on the

same page now.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I think so.”

He kissed me one more time, then pushed himself up so he could take care of

the condom. When he returned, we faced each other on our sides as we often did

when we talked in bed.

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Lauren Gallagher

Austin brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “This isn"t going to make things

any simpler with my job.”

“I don"t expect it to.” I combed my fingers through his hair. “We"ve made it this

far. We"ll figure it out from here. One way or another.”

He nodded. “I know this is a strange situation, but I promise you, no matter

what, the only thing anyone else is getting is Sabian.” He kissed my forehead, then

looked at me. “Austin is all yours.” Then he kissed me gently and drew it out.

I knew what Austin did for a living. I knew where he was last night and the

night before. I knew how and why we came into each other"s lives. Lying together

with him like this, though, I just didn"t care, because I couldn"t imagine being more

in love with someone. It was hard to believe I"d even considered walking away from

him, from this. What we had wasn"t easy, it wasn"t something outsiders could or

would easily understand, but it was
right
. Whatever headache it caused, it was

worth it.

He looked at me and ran his fingers through my hair.

I touched his face. “I love you, Austin.”

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me again. “I love you too.”

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141

Epilogue

About a year later.

On Sunday evening, as he always did, Michael came to pick up the kids.

“Hey,” he said with a smile. “Kids ready to go?”

I gestured for him to come in. “They should be. Can"t promise Mikey"s done

with his game yet, though.”

He tried to scowl. “Video games on a school night?”

“Hey, his homework is done.” We started toward the living room, and I added,

“That, and it"s kind of hard to say no to him when someone
else
is playing.”

We stopped in the doorway.

Oblivious to his parents watching, Mikey said, “I am so beating you this time.”

“Not a chance,” Austin said. “Because you see…” He paused. “When you spend

all your time talking trash…” Another pause. Then an explosion lit up the screen,

and Austin laughed. “You don"t see people sneaking up on you, do you?”

“Aw, man,” Mikey said. “Again?”

“Told you.” Austin set his controller down. “You should pay attention instead of

talking trash.”

In a high-pitched, mocking voice, Mikey said, “You should pay attention

instead of talking trash.”

Austin threw a pillow at him. Mikey threw it back.

“All right, you two,” I said. “Do I have to separate you?”

They both looked up, and damn if Austin hadn"t learned to flawlessly imitate

Mikey"s puppy-dog eyes.

Michael laughed. “Looks like you have your hands full.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” To Mikey, I said, “You ready to go?”

“Let me go get my things.” He set his controller down and got up.

“Where"s Lex?” Michael asked.

“We went to the library yesterday,” Austin said. “She"s been holed up in her

room with a stack of books ever since.”

Michael chuckled. “That doesn"t surprise me.”

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Lauren Gallagher

“Especially since someone showed her the astronomy section,” I said. “She"d

have taken every book off the shelf if we"d let her.”

“Sounds like Lex.” Michael gestured at the Xbox. “So, it looks like you"re

starting to beat him.”

Austin rolled his eyes. “Up to level four, yeah. But I can"t get near him on

anything after that. Doesn"t do a lot of good to win the battle if you can"t win the

war, you know?”

“Hey, at least you can beat him on four.” Michael shook his head. “I can"t touch

him.”

“Just wait until you get to the armory,” Austin said. “Then come around the

building from the left. He never sees it coming.”

“I heard that,” Mikey called from the other room.

Austin chuckled and winked. “Trust me. Gets him every time.”

“You two,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Ganging up on a kid? That"s just mean.”

“Mean?” Michael scoffed. “That kid has cheat codes that make him almost

unbeatable. We old guys need a little help, you know?”

“All the help we can get.” Austin laughed. “Oh, and speaking of which…”