Daddy's Little Girl (A Homespun Romance) (10 page)

Why was Jason teasing her?  His words had been casual, but there was nothing casual about the way the blood pounded in her ears, or the heat pooled in the pit of her stomach. 

Before he could say another word, she began to stuff everything back into the picnic basket.  Shutting it, Sara got to her feet and hurried to the car as if she were Cinderella and the clock had just chimed twelve.

Jason smiled at Kelsey who was puzzled by Sara's quick retreat.  As she looked at him for an explanation, Jason experienced a strange surge of happiness.  "We're just helping Sara wake up and find her real self," he told his daughter, touching her pert little nose.  "It's a shame she didn't wait for me to get to the kissing part."

Jason tried to sort things out in his mind on the drive home.  The fact Sara was barely paying him any attention was beginning to bother him.  She'd even asked if she could sit in the back with Kelsey on the way home.  That way, she'd said, Kelsey wouldn't get too restless on the long drive home.  Judging from his daughter's laughter, she loved the game they were playing of `This little piggie', with her toes.

He shouldn't have embarrassed Sara.  He wouldn't have said what he had, except for the fact that she did need waking up.  Her reaction had surprised him.  She'd looked as if she'd never received any compliments.  The women he knew would have begun purring, their eyes demanding he keep on in the same vein.  Sara had bolted as if he'd made an indecent suggestion. 

Male ego told him Sara was unaware of him as anything other than her employer.  He'd never been with another woman who was so...so... self-contained.  Any time a little bit of emotion escaped, she gathered it back up and locked it away. 

She'd made it very clear she wasn't after his money.  She wasn't even after his person.  What on earth was important to her?

"Sara, what's the most important thing in the world to you?" he asked, when the game in the back stopped for a while.

"Personal freedom".

The answer was so unexpected it startled him.  She'd given it so quickly as if it was something that was always on her mind.

"What does personal freedom mean to you?" he asked.

"Not having to live by someone else's rules.  Supporting myself financially, making all my own decisions, choosing what I want to do, or not do."

Jason knew suddenly that the little golden-brown owl hadn't had much freedom with her uncle.  The vehemence in her voice told him that it was something she cared about very greatly.  She and Diana were alike in that respect...only at one time Di had pretended she wanted marriage and all it stood for.

"Do you think marriage interferes with personal freedom?"  he asked Sara.

"Yes.  Even living with someone places constraints on that freedom."

"So to achieve what you want, you would have to live alone?"

"Yes."

"Is that what you plan when this job is over?"

"Yes.  It's one of the reasons I took it.  The money's going to help me support myself till I can find another job."

He had to give her a raise.

"What was it your uncle did before he retired?"  he asked Sara, after she and Kelsey were tired of `This Little Piggy'.

"He worked in a brokerage house."

The man must have made good money, but he'd obviously had a hard time sharing any of it. 

"Did you say he was your mother's brother?"

"Yes."

"Were they very close?"

"No.  He was fifteen years old when she was born.  He was just like my grandfather, strict and unbending.  When my mother met my father, and then he died, my uncle took her in but never let her forget the wrong she had done by letting Cole Adams love her.  My mother paid the rest of her life for having me."

"Moses said your uncle was very wealthy."

"I don't want any of his money."

He'd never heard Sara sound so fierce.  He looked in the rear view mirror.  Kelsey was turning the pages of a book in her car seat, and Sara looked as if she'd answered a call to go to war.

Jason turned on the radio.  There was a time to talk and a time to let music cover up the awkwardness.  This was definitely time for the latter.

What on earth was he asking so many questions for all of a sudden?  Nervous Sara reached for Kelsey's little foot.  "Ready for more of `This Little Piggy'?"  she asked.

That about summed it all up in an acorn shell, Jason thought grimly.  Sara Adams preferred playing `This Little Piggy', for the fiftieth time, to talking with him.  A man would have to be really stupid not to receive the message she was sending.

Let's keep this on a business footing. 

Which suited him fine.  Just fine.  She wasn't his type anyway.

Thinking back on the day as he sat on the balcony outside his room that night, Jason didn't know what made him angrier.  Sara's lack of belief in what he'd said about her looks, or her total lack of interest in him.

He didn't know why the latter irked.  He had wanted someone who could be trusted to keep matters on a business footing, someone who wouldn't expect anything from him in the emotional department. 

He didn't want any complications in his life but that didn't mean he shouldn't do something about Sara's lack of confidence in herself as a woman. 

Sara leaned back in the tub and hoped the steaming, rose-scented water would ease some of the confusion out of her system.  She'd been feeling very unsettled all day...as if all her nerve endings were linked to a cord that Jason controlled. 

He was Kelsey's father, her employer, and her pseudo-fiancée.  Nothing more.  Besides she wanted freedom, not being tied by emotion to any place or person.  As soon as Jason was granted custody of Kelsey, he wasn't going to need her anymore.

She had to make her plans for when she would be alone, and free at last to explore the freedom she'd always wanted.  She'd be able to do exactly as she pleased for a week or two before she'd have to look for another job.

Sara closed her eyes and slid a little deeper into the water.  A part of her mind seemed to be backing away from the thought of being all alone.  It was only, Sara told herself fiercely, because she'd grown very fond of Kelsey.

Jason looked like a thundercloud when he came to the breakfast table the next morning.

"What's wrong?"  Sara asked, as soon as Mrs. Binty had taken Kelsey into the playroom.  She couldn't possibly ignore the fact that Jason had barely eaten his breakfast.  The lines on his face looked as if they had deepened in the last twenty-four hours. 

"It's Dee Dee.  She'll be here Wednesday."

"Oh."

"I suppose she can't wait to start gathering more evidence to use against me."

"Maybe she'll be different this time," Sara suggested. 

She was under no illusion that the woman liked her, but she had caught a glimpse of the way Dee Dee looked at Kelsey.  She loved her granddaughter.

"Dee Dee doesn't know how to be different," Jason snapped.  "I'm going to call Moses, and tell him to let her know I do not want any uniformed visits."

Remembering Dee Dee's last one, Sara felt inclined to agree with Jason, but siding with him against Kelsey's grandmother wouldn't improve matters.

Sara placed a hand on his arm.  "I've got an idea.  Maybe if Dee Dee stays here, and sees you and Kelsey together she'll realize how...."

Jason moved away from her, shoved both hands in the pockets of his pants and glared at her.  "There's no way I will allow Dee Dee to stay here.  You have no idea what you're talking about."

Sara went white.  The words had been Uncle Samuel's final remark for everything.  "I only thought..."

Jason interrupted her again.  "What did you think, Sara?  That life is like the fairy tales you read Kelsey and everything will end with happily ever after?  Real life is a slap in the face sometimes, but how would you know that?  This is the first real problem you've encountered and it isn't even yours, so stay out of it, will you?"

It was a while before Sara realized she was all alone in the room and her mouth was hanging open.  Closing it, she picked up her cup of tea with a hand that shook.  Wrapping her other hand around it, she held the cup, willing some of the warmth to reach her core. 

Her mind buzzed as if her thoughts had turned into a swarm of bees.  The stinging kind.

Do you think life is like the fairy tales you read Kelsey?

You really believe in happily ever after endings, don't you?

It's the first real problem you've encountered?

It isn't even yours, so keep out of it, will you?

The last line went over and over in her head.  Jason couldn't have made it clearer she was the hired hand.

As for problems...she thought of Uncle Samuel, and her mother who had worked like a slave and never pleased him.  Sara, who had inherited the right to fill Mary Adams' shoes, had suffered because she hadn't been as docile.  Coping with his moods had taken all she had.

If only Uncle Samuel had shown her a scrap of kindness, life would have been so different.  She had lain awake nights, hoping that something would change Uncle Samuel the way people changed in movies and stories.  That he would offer love and let them love him in return, but it had never happened. 

No, Jason had been wrong when he'd accused her of believing in happy endings.

"Sara?"

She jumped and turned.  Jason had changed into sweat pants and a top.  "Yes?"

She had wanted to sound casual and cool.  The word came out as if she were a frog with laryngitis.

He came into the room.  "I didn't mean to yell at you.  I'm sorry."

She wasn't sure she had heard right.  Jason was apologizing to her?

"It's all right."  She had plenty of practice at being yelled at.  "You're worried about Kelsey and I shouldn't have said anything."

"Yes."

There was an awkward silence and then Jason said, "I'm going for a run."

"It's a nice day for it."

"Would you like to come?"

"Who?  Me?"  Sara felt the color rise in her face.  "No thanks.  I have a few things to do."

"See you later then."  Jason seemed about to say something more, but then he turned and left.

"See you later."

As he ran through the Park, Jason berated himself with every step that pounded the ground.  Why on earth had he taken his temper out on Sara like that?  The answer was obvious.  He'd been fit to be tied ever since he'd read Dee Dee's letter.  He hadn't checked his mail till this morning.  The fact that Kelsey was being threatened brought out the worst in him, made him lose all perspective.

Jason pushed his straining muscles to run faster.  Sara had looked as if he'd slapped her.  His words had wiped out whatever ground he'd gained with her yesterday.  Her stilted apology, reminded him of their first meeting.

She'd been scared then and she was scared of him now.  He'd seen the evidence of tears on her cheeks.  He had no business losing control that badly.  Just because life had thrown him a curve ball, and his marriage had gone sour, was no reason to tell Sara she wasn't entitled to believe in happy endings.

He had to apologize to her all over again, and make it very clear his anger was directed at Dee Dee, not her.

"Where's Sara?" he asked Mrs. Binty, the minute he stepped into the kitchen.

"She's gone to church."

"Church?" 

His surprise must have shown on his face because Mrs. Binty nodded.  "Said she was going for a walk in the Park after that, and might not be back till late afternoon."

Her plans must have been made after he left.  Was she keeping out of the way to give him time to get over his temper completely?  A fresh layer of guilt piled on to the heap he already carried.  Jason turned away without noticing Kelsey had her hands stretched out to him.

"Well!" said Mrs. Binty hurrying to the little girl's side.  "Never you mind.  Your Daddy'll be back after he's had his shower.  Till then, why don't you and I sit in the rocker, and read that new book Sara bought you."

Kelsey ran to her room and Mrs. Binty followed at a slower pace, content with talking aloud to herself.  "If you ask me, I think we've got another story brewing right here under our own roof.  I had me' suspicions I did when she went off looking so sad.  And then Himself comes in asking for her and looking so put out to hear she's gone.  A nice turn of events, that's what it is, a nice turn of events."

CHAPTER SEVEN

Sunday night, Jason worked late at the computer.  He planned to stay at the flat Monday and Tuesday finishing the last minute things he had to do, before a big meeting Wednesday.  He also had another plan at the back of his mind.

He wo
ke until nine and the silence told him he might be alone.  He should have told Sara what he was planning.  Showering Jason went into the kitchen.  The coffee was perking, but there was no sign of anyone.

Pouring himself a mug he sat down at the kitchen table.  A breeze rustled the papers on the table, and Jason grabbed them before they flew away.  He was putting them back together when he realized he'd read most of the first page.  His interest caught, he turned to the second page.

The sound at the door made him look up.  Sara stood there in a long skirt and a sweater, looking terrified.

"Is this yours?"  Jason asked still surprised by the depth of emotion in what he had just read.

She came to the table.  "I only write when Kelsey's not here," she said.  "Mrs. Binty's taken her to the Park, and Mr. Binty's gone to the dry-cleaners.  I thought you'd left for work."

"This is very good Sara."

"I just scribble my thoughts down."

"I said it's good, Sara."

She tried to laugh.  "Thank you.  It's nothing serious you know."

"Why do you always put yourself down, Sara?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said, why do you always put yourself down?"

Her hand crept to the neck of her sweater as she stood and looked at him, her heart in her eyes.

"Is it because you want to get there first, do it before anyone else does?  Does it hurt less that way?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Jason got to his feet and only six inches of space separated them.  "I think you do.  Is it your Uncle who convinced you, you're not worth a damn?"

"Stay out of my personal life, Jason."

"He did it because he was scared of losing you Sara.  Where else could he get an unpaid servant to wait on him hand and foot."

The word servant made her flinch as if he'd slapped her, but Jason kept going. 

"Your work is good Sara.  Have you shown it to anyone?  I know a publisher here...."

Her head came up and her eyes blazed with anger.  "Why is it okay for you to tell me what to do, but it isn't okay for me to suggest Dee Dee stay here?  Is it because you're a man and men know about what's best for everyone else, or is it because you know how to give advice but can't take any?"

She didn't know who was more surprised by the vehemence of her outburst, Jason or herself.  Her heart jumped at the way his eyes narrowed, but she refused to look away.  Here it comes, she thought, the anger she'd expected to show up all along.  Sara didn't regret saying what was on her mind. 

The first prerequisite for freedom was personal courage and she had twenty four years of training for this moment.

Jason turned away and poured himself a cup of coffee as Sara struggled with the impulse to leave the room.

"You know, you're right and I'm wrong," Jason swung around to face her.  "I'm sorry.  Maybe we should just stay out of each other's personal business." 

Sara stared as the kitchen door swung shut behind him.  Was it possible to have auditory hallucinations?  She was sure Jason had said he was sorry again.  Uncle Samuel had never once apologized for a thing.  Her mother had said once that men's egos made it hard for them to admit they had been in the wrong.  Sara thought of Jason as he had stood there, coffee mug in hand.  A rush of warmth flooded her.  The apology had just sent Jason's stock with her sky-high. 

Twin prongs of guilt and worry gripped Jason.  Why hadn't she responded to his apology?  Was he really being domineering and unfair?  Diana had accused him of being high handed because he had refused to let her get rid of the baby.  Sometimes he wondered if she would still have been alive if he'd let her make that decision on her own.

Sara's writing had surprised him with its intensity and style.  In his eagerness to help her, he'd forgotten that she was a very private person.  The very fact that she hadn't mentioned she wrote, should have warned him it was something she didn't want to discuss.  He thought of the yearning he had glimpsed in her eyes when he'd told her she was good at it.

Why was it so hard for Sara to believe in her own abilities?  He thought of the way she was with Kelsey; loving and encouraging, always praising her and telling her how clever she was.  Recalling the way she'd sat up with Kelsey when she'd had a bad dream, the way Kelsey turned to Sara instead of to him for her needs these days, Jason knew finding Sara had been the best thing he could have done for his daughter. 

Kelsey didn't cling to him the way she used to, neither did she cry when he left in the mornings; she was eating better and her eyes had lost that too-solemn expression.  Overall he was happy and relieved the way Sara and Kelsey got on though it rankled in a small way that Sara seemed to understand his daughter effortlessly. 

He'd read countless books on child psychology, talked to Kelsey's pediatrician almost every week and still he hadn't achieved what Sara had.  As for the Bintys...Sara had found a gold mine there.  Seeing Kelsey so happy and content freed him to concentrate on his work.  His business meetings with prominent car manufacturers here, and in Europe, were going better than he'd expected...the collaborations he was in the process of setting up was ensuring greater success than he'd anticipated. Things couldn't have been better.

He owed Sara so much and he was going to do something about it.  He'd respect her wishes about her work...he wasn't going to interfere in that aspect of her life, but he was going to do something to remove that veil of low self-esteem that she wrapped herself in.

Sara was reading in the living room three hours later, when Jason walked in.  She looked up as he muttered something about a briefcase.  "It's behind the couch.  Kelsey kept running around with it and I thought she might hurt herself so I hid it."

"Thank you Sara."  He picked it about and was about to leave the room when he said, "What's that book you're reading?"

"Hardy's `Far from the Madding Crowd'.

"Are you bored?"

"Of course not."  Why on earth would anyone be bored with a nice book and time to read it in? 

"Oh, by the way...."

"Yes?"  Was he going to discuss her work again, tell her she was stubborn not to listen to him?

"Would you mind coming out with me to pick a tie tomorrow?  I've got a really important meeting Wednesday and Peter was saying something about my ties being old fashioned and stuffy."

Sara had noticed.  Jason's ties were the kind that had been in fashion ten years ago.  So were his suits.  She'd just taken it for granted he wasn't interested in clothes.

"I thought you could help me choose something.  You have great taste in clothes.  I like the red rompers you bought Kelsey last week."

"I'll come."  If Jason could put the argument behind them and extend an olive branch, it was up to her to grasp it.  With both hands.

"Thank you.  Is eleven all right for you?"

"Eleven's fine."

He nodded and left the room whistling.  Something about the whistle made Sara uneasy.  What had happened to make Jason so happy all of a sudden?

The sight of the store Jason parked his Jaguar outside the next day made Sara open her eyes wide.  Rudolfo's was a salon with floor to ceiling glass windows, covered with silk drapes, an intricately painted ceiling, and marble floors.  Sara sucked her stomach in and lifted her chin as they were shown into what looked like an elegant living room...it was that kind of place.  A woman in a gold lame sheath served them glasses of champagne with a smile that focused on Jason.

Sara's heart sank.  He didn't need her help choosing anything here.  He had a willing harem of sales women if he wanted help.

"Jason, darling!"

Sara stared at the woman who glided into the room and kissed Jason on the cheek.  Her black gown, elbow length, gloves, and diamond earrings, made Sara wonder if the ties were going to be brought out on twenty-four karat gold trays.  "How are you mon ami?  It has been so long."

"I'm fine Gina.  I've brought someone very special to meet you.  My fiancé, Sara Adams.  Sara, this is Gina Le Diamante, manager of Rudolfos."

The woman turned and held both hands out to Sara, "What a pleasure, mademoiselle.   Jason, she's a beauty, just as you said.  My God, what bone structure.  And those eyes...."

Sara resisted the impulse to look over her shoulder.  Who were they talking about?

"So, when can I come back?"

"About four?"

True, she was tired because she'd stayed up most of the night worrying about Jason and Kelsey, and even Dee Dee, but Sara knew she wasn't that fuzzy that she had missed something important.  Jason intended leaving her with this woman.  And she didn't know why.

A feeling of desperation shot up her spine and flooded her brain.

Slipping a hand through his arm and avoiding looking at him, Sara said.  "Would you excuse us for a few moments?  I have something I must say to darling Jason before he leaves."

His body stiffened at the artificial emphasis on the endearment. 

"Why of course, mademoiselle."  Gina Le Diamante's dark amused gaze slipped from Sara's face to Jason's.  "You are young.  You are in love.  You must have privacy for your leave taking.  I will be back in a few minutes."

"What is going on here?"  Sara hissed, as soon as the woman had glided out of the room.

"Gina is going to help you fix your hair and select a few things."

"Did it occur to you that I might like to be asked first, that I might not be able to pay for the things Gina selects?  I'm not sure even the air in here doesn't have a price tag attached to it."

Jason actually looked taken aback.  "I thought you'd like the surprise.  Di...I mean most women love shopping and being fussed over."

"I'm not most women," Sara said briskly.  "I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you but apologize to your friend for me will you?  I'll wait outside."

"Sara, wait!"  He caught her by the arm, and she turned to face him.  "I want you to get yourself some nice things.  I'm going to pay for them.  Dee Dee is very observant and you can't wear the same things day in and day out when she's here."

Sara's face flamed.  Of course, Jason didn't want Dee Dee to guess that she was just a poor employee.  How could she have been so dense?  It was all part of her job as Jason had told her before. 

"Well, maybe I'll get a couple of things," Sara said stiffly.  Once Jason was gone, she would just ask Gina to show her the least expensive things in the store.

"That's my girl,"  Jason said, leaning down to brush her lips with his.  "Gina's watching," he whispered close to her mouth, “and Dee Dee’s one of her favorite customers."

The quick caress, the warm tickle of his words across her mouth, had Sara's heart beating so fast, she barely heard Gina say, "Ah!  Young love!  It is so wonderful.  But come, mademoiselle, we have much to accomplish."

Sara wet her lips.  "I only want a couple of dresses," she said, as she trailed beside Gina down a corridor that looked as if it belonged in a palace.

The Frenchwoman stopped short and looked at her.  "Surely you joke, madame.  Jason, he paid for a day of beauty for you here at Rudolfo's and I am to help you choose a complete wardrobe."

"A day of beauty?" 

Gina nodded enthusiastically.  "The...how you say in America...the complete makeover?  Facial, body massage, hairstyle, manicure, pedicure."

Did it come with a guarantee that Jason's money would be refunded when they realized that nothing could change this ugly duckling into a swan?

"Relax, mademoiselle.  You will enjoy yourself.  Your fiancé...he is so thoughtful.  My husband should take lessons from him. Now come, change into this silk wrapper and then I will introduce you to Geronimo.  He is a genius with hair."

Sara wondered if there was a patron saint of plain Janes she could appeal to before it was too late.

Four hours later, her skin tingling from all the attention it had received, Sara was led into a dressing room, the size of Uncle Samuel's living room.

Gina talked to her, as models drifted in and out wearing clothes Gina had selected for her.  Sara picked out two pairs of silk pants and four tops as casual wear, and allowed Gina to convince her she needed two evening dresses right away.  Nothing more.

"But Jason won't be happy," Gina argued.

"Madame, I am your customer," Sara said firmly.  "Concentrate on making me happy.  I'd also like to see some ties for men before I leave."

Gina nodded, and Sara felt a small thrill of victory.  Had they scrubbed off that top layer of shyness that always prevented her saying what was on her mind?

An assistant brought in one of the gowns Sara had chosen.  It was slipped over her head and then Gina turned her towards an ornate gilt mirror that took up the most of one wall.