Cyrus (14 page)
Before I unbuckled, he was opening the door
and grabbed my hand. I followed his long strides to the back of the
cemetery, he stopped in front of the stone and waited for me. I
knelt down and put the flowers in front of the headstone, it wasn’t
a big monument, and it wasn’t overly fancy--- but it was
theirs.
I traced the letters in their names and the
date, November fifteenth.
I hadn’t noticed him kneel beside me until
he took my hand and traced
Beloved Parents,
“They loved you
Birdie.”
I tried to breath, I tried to count, and I
tried to be brave and not cry but I couldn’t and he held me, again,
“How can I know that?”
“From what I understand, they can see you.
I’ve known you for a little over a week and need to be your friend.
They knew you, they’ve known you always, so trust me, they love
you.”
He stood and pulled me up I felt his arms
wrap around me and he pulled me back against him and kissed the top
of my head, “They’re with you every day… wherever you are, this is
just a place they laid them, not their soul.”
He held me together again as I shook and
cried. His phone chimed and he pulled it out of his pocket still
holding me with the other arm, “Yeah…how long…okay…no, we’re headed
back just one more stop….thanks for the heads up.” He hung up, “We
gotta go.”
I wiped my eyes and turned around and hugged
him, “Thank you.”
I felt his lips touch my cheek and then he
lifted me off my feet, “We really gotta go.”
Before I knew it I was in the Jeep
again.
We drove quietly to my family’s home and
when he pulled up front I felt sick. I grabbed his hand as he
started to get out, “I can’t.”
“Birdie, you gotta face shit head on,” he
grabbed my head with both hands, “You can do this.”
“No, I really can’t,” I pulled back, “It’s
not my house, it was wrong to come here to begin with.”
He looked at me as if he expected me to
change my mind and I looked away, “Lock the door Birdie, I’ll be
right back.”
He was only gone a couple minutes when he
returned. He got in and plugged his phone in and pulled away.
She was quiet and I was grateful she wasn’t
crying because I sounded like a bitch when I was trying to help her
stop. I couldn’t take the crying, and not because I was an ass but
because it fucking crushed me. I swear my balls were pulled up so
tight I was gonna need a knitting needle to find them.
I looked over and she was asleep, I felt her
head again, just to see if she was spiking a fever. She reached up
and put her little hand over mine and she was still asleep. I could
totally see myself fucking this girl more than three times, but
then-- I wouldn’t be being true to myself. I had that shit tattooed
as a reminder of who I was then, and who I would be always, and
fuck yes I needed the reminder, I’m a guy. I get turned on by the
thought of tits and pussy’s. I eat a banana for breakfast and I
think about getting a blow job, I see Razzles, I swear I’m
immediately reminded of nipples, hard, round, tasty--her nipples,
and the way they reacted to my touch my mouth, to me. Then what do
I do? I talk about sex with a girl who’s crushed, sick as hell, and
who I fucked AGAIN, when I said I wouldn’t. I could do it one more
time and still be true to myself.
Her head rested on her shoulder and her hand
still held mine captive. Another hour and I would have her in a
safe place, her place. Now I just had to figure out the rest of the
shit. I needed to do it soon too, cause truth is-- I liked to fuck
this girl, didn’t even have to be hard and wild. Just being inside
her was enough to make me feel like I was gonna blow my shit.
She pulled her legs up on the seat and
leaned over closer to me. Her face was warm again but her hands
like ice. I cranked up the heat even though I was roasting, she
wasn’t, Birdie was cold. We only had thirty minutes tops before
getting to Carly’s place. I could keep her warm there.
Last night was a mind fuck, I find her, and
the world is better. I get her settled and take a shower and she
sees me. I didn’t even have to ask what she saw because it was
obvious she saw me thinking about her. Some guys may be embarrassed
about being caught in the act but I didn’t give a shit. After I saw
her touching herself, all bets were off. I had to get her off even
more than I had to get myself off. Truth is, she needed that
release and the feeling of relief that follows. I could have talked
her through it…
damn there’s an idea, that wouldn’t be three
times and that shit would be fucking hot.
I almost said a
prayer asking for that opportunity but that would be a wasted
prayer, not one I think would be top on the big guys list of ones
to answer, nor would I burden him with that.
I parked in front of Carly’s place, well
Tara’s place and she opened her eyes, “Home Sweet Home.”
I saw tears form in her eyes and she
shivered, “I’m cold, can’t I…will you take me back to your house? I
don’t want to be alone.”
I got out and opened the door, “I’ll hang
with you until you feel better, come on.” I grabbed the bags and
her hand, damn her little claws were ice cold.
We walked in and I watched her look around,
“I won’t be able to afford this.”
“Well first of all it was part of Carly’s
employment package, so it’s already paid for. Second of all you’ll
be fine. Tara if you don’t like it…”
“No it’s beautiful I just…”
“We’re gonna get you in bed. No more
discussion about it till you’re all better.”
I walked her upstairs and I watched her eyes
wanting to be sure she felt good here. I opened the door at the end
of the hall, and turned on the light.
It was a sweet looking room, light hard wood
floors and lavender walls. The bed was huge, a deep purple duvet
covered it, and pillows covered half of the bed. She looked around
and I knew she was overwhelmed.
“Bathroom’s in here,” I walked with her into
the bathroom, “Check out the tub, Birdie.”
“It’s beautiful,” she sounded miserable.
“Alright, take a bath. Soak, relax, and I’m
gonna go grab you some Motrin and see if Carly brought over
clothes.”
She stopped me before I walked out, “Thank
you.”
“No problem.”
~
Tara was in the bathtub when I came back in,
“Towels and washcloth?” I set them by the tub trying my damndest
not to look at her sweet little Razzles, but I looked and she
noticed, “You’re healing good.” She looked down and shook her head
yes, “Does it hurt still, Birdie?”
“No, but my whole body aches, I’m cold
Cyrus.”
I grabbed a towel, “Let’s get you out,
dried, and dressed. You can hang in here when you feel better.”
I wrapped up the little Birdie, and we
walked out into the bedroom, “Carly got you a few things, she’s
gonna stop over as soon as Little Bell is at dance.”
“Little Bell?”
I grabbed a sweatshirt and pulled it over
her head, “I think Carly like’s you in green,” she pulled her wet
hair out of the back of the shirt. “Step in.”
She looked down at me holding her panties
and her eyes widened I wasn’t sure why until I took a second glance
at the lacy panties I was holding out for her. I was gonna kill
Carly. She stepped into the lacey green boy shorts and I was trying
my damndest not to fucking pull them off and throw Birdie’s little
ass on the bed and attack what I was about to cover. I wasn’t
moving too fast when I heard her take a deep breath.
Get your shit together!!
I screamed
at myself. I pulled them up, and she dropped the towel, she had the
prettiest little flower and everything inside of me fucking burned,
my fucking flower
. I was face to face with those little lips
and I wanted to kiss them, lick them, suck the little bare petals
in front of my nose. I unknowingly took a deep breath and her
little legs shook.
My throat was thick with need and so was my
cock. I sat back on my heels and pulled them up quickly, “Get in
bed, Birdie.”
She climbed up in bed and I took a few deep
breaths and stood, trying to hide the very obvious. I handed her
the Motrin and a bottle of water, “Sorry.”
“Stop saying sorry, Birdie,” I closed my
eyes.
“We can do it again right-- one more
time?”
I closed my eyes, “Not sure that’s a good
idea.”
“But you said…”
“Birdie you’re sick, I want you to get
better, okay? Until then….”
“I can dress myself?”
I laughed and so did she, “Yeah I don’t
think this friend thing is gonna work if I keep seeing you naked
Birdie.”
“Why?” She laid down and I covered her
up.
I pulled those blankets up tight around her
body all the way up to her neck hoping like hell that if I didn’t
see her, I wouldn’t feel the need to fuck her. “My friends are guys
Birdie, not hot little women like you. Maybe you could like, I
don’t know…be ugly?”
She smirked and closed her eyes, “You think
I’m pretty,” she was singing it.
“I think you’re fucking gorgeous, so I’m
gonna work on not wanting to bang you, and you’re gonna work on
ugly alright?”
She laughed again and then shook, “You’re
funny, and I’m cold.”
“I’ll check for more blankets.”
I walked back in and she was asleep
,
thank God
! I climbed in next to her, exhausted and fell
asleep.
I woke to feeling her finger on my rib,
opening my eyes I saw her looking intently at it trying to figure
it all out and if anyone could she could, I was floored that she
had noticed that the waves were nails.
She looked up at me sadly, “This one?”
I looked down even though I knew damn well
what she was talking about, “Broken mirror.”
“Bad luck,” she whispered and her little
mittens rubbed my tat.
I didn’t reply, I was just really enjoying
her snuggling up tighter to me as she rubbed her now burning little
hands over my side.
“You’re good luck Cyrus, not bad luck,” she
yawned and her breath was even hot, “I’m tired.”
“Sleep then,” I didn’t want her to move, not
one inch away from me.
“You’ll be here when I wake up?”
“Yay, Carly remember, she’s gonna stop
over,” I pushed my head back into the pillow and closed my
eyes.
“Little Bell?”
“My niece, Jase’s daughter,” I answered.
“And Carly?”
“Now Carly is Momma to her, yeah. Go to
sleep Birdie you and Carly can chat about it soon.”
She did as I asked, you know what was really
fucked up? I liked her sleeping, and I like that it’s here right
next to me…I’m sure it’s because I know she’s safe.
I woke to her exploring again, this time it
was my sleeve. From my shoulder to just above my elbow was the
different places I had toured while in the Navy. Four tours in four
years, starting at eighteen years old.
“Will you tell me about these?”
“You feeling better?”I felt her head and she
closed her eyes.
“Yes actually I am,” she sat up and pulled
my arm onto her lap and traced the ink.
“You hungry?”
She shook her head no, “I count.”
“Excuse me?” We were both volleying this
conversation but she just lost me.
“To calm myself, I count. What’s this?”
I see what she was doing. She would tell me
something and expect I do the same, “What’s it look like?”
She looked up at me, I assume because she
thought I was being an ass, “I really want to know what you
think.”
“They look like coins but maybe metals? You
said you were in the Navy, did you get metals?”
“You sure you’re not hungry?”
“I cried once in fifteen years,” she looked
down and waited.
“I’m sorry Birdie, real sorry.”
Tears welled in her eyes and she forced a
cute little laugh as she wiped the one that escaped away and then
in barely a whisper, “Please tell me something, I feel like an
idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot, you’re beautiful.
Everything is going to be alright, I promise,” without thinking I
pushed a handful of that dark thick hair away from her creamy skin
as I swiped a tear away.
She looked up at me and sighed, “Do people
have quarter life crisis?”
I smirked and she smiled and then bit that
pouty lip to stop from laughing and I wanted to do the same. I felt
my smirk failing me and my face started to get warmer, and so did
the rest of me. I clenched my jaw and her she closed her eyes
tightly and let out the breath she was holding.
I noticed my hand still rested on her check
and my thumb rubbed it, her skin was so damn soft. She opened her
eyes and hypnotized me. I licked my lips quick and pulled her head
towards me. She grabbed my shoulders and her breath hastened. I was
trying to pull back, but I fucking couldn’t.
I was sure he was going to kiss me again and
I wanted him to so badly. His mouth landed softly on my jaw bone.
Lips open, surrounding my jaw, barley touching, skimming. His
breath warmed me as his lips moved slowly up and down. The low
groan coming from him was warming me as well. My breasts felt
weighty and my nipples rigid. My hands slowly made their way from
his strong shoulders up his thick muscular neck and then against
his head.
His mouth traveled down my neck and I tilted
my head, giving him room to give me more,
God I wanted more
.
I let out a severe profound sigh as he rubbed his nose up my neck,
“Birdie, you-- fuck…”
I brought my head back up so I could look at
him. His eyes were so full of heat and restraint, I kissed him and
growled into my mouth. I turned my body towards him and took his
hands and wrapped them around me. I couldn’t get enough of his
touch, his kiss, or him.