Cypress Point (24 page)

She felt his tears on her shoulder then, and he pulled her
even closer to him, so close she could barely breathe, and that was where she wanted to be. Always.

 

Although Carlynn was thrilled to be engaged to Alan, she knew there was trouble ahead and that it would take the form of Delora Kling. As soon as Carlynn told her mother about the engagement, Delora started planning.

“We'll have the wedding on the terrace,” Delora said. “The weather in September should be ideal for it to be outdoors. I heard a harpist the other day who would be perfect. Wouldn't that be lovely, dear? It's so rare to hear a harpist at a wedding. Of course, if we have it here, that will limit the number of guests we can have. Would you prefer it to be in one of the cathedrals instead?”

Carlynn
did
want to be married at Cypress Point, but she also wanted Lisbeth to be her maid of honor, along with Penny Everett as her bridesmaid. And Lisbeth was attached at the hip to Gabriel, as she should be. Carlynn had no problem with that—she adored Gabriel—but Delora was sure to have a fit if her “second daughter” showed up with a Negro by her side.

She and Lisbeth were closer than ever as they talked over wedding plans and shopped for the wedding gown and bridesmaids' dresses. Lisbeth looked fabulous these days. She was only two sizes larger than Carlynn, and Carlynn persuaded her to try on wedding gowns, as well as the bridesmaid's dress. She told Lisbeth that it would help her see how a dress would look on her to see it on her twin. But really, she'd just wanted Lisbeth to enjoy the thrill of seeing herself in a wedding dress. Only later did she think it might have been a little mean of her to make Lisbeth see herself as a bride without a wedding of her own in sight.

Lisbeth fell in love with one of the dresses. She couldn't stop fingering the lace and looking behind her at the long train,
and she spent a long time admiring herself in the mirror before she took it off. She tried to persuade Carlynn to try it on, as well, but, although Carlynn also loved the dress, she had never seen Lisbeth so enamored with an article of clothing.

“No,” she said, selecting her second choice for herself. “That one will be yours someday.”

They left the bridal shop and began walking toward the bus stop.

“I guess, if Gabe and I ever get married, it won't be at Cypress Point,” Lisbeth said as they walked.

Carlynn heard the wistfulness in her sister's voice. She had no doubt that Lisbeth and Gabriel would be together for the rest of their lives, no doubt that they were meant for one another, and yet there would always be that extra burden for them to carry. They would never have the freedom to live their lives as she and Alan would.

“Honey,” she said, putting her arm around her sister's shoulders as they walked. “We have to have a serious talk about my wedding.”

“You mean about having Gabriel there, don't you?” Lisbeth asked, and Carlynn knew her sister had been expecting this conversation.

“Yes,” Carlynn said. “Alan and I want him there. He will be your guest. I'm going to insist upon it. It's my wedding, after all.”

Lisbeth looked at her with affection, but there was doubt in her eyes. “It's at Mother's home,” she said. “Mother will make the rules.”

“I've been thinking about it, though,” Carlynn said. “Maybe we're not giving Mother enough credit. I don't think she's a racist, exactly. It's just that all the Negroes she's ever known have been servants or waiters or other service people. She never had an opportunity to meet them under any other
circumstances. We really don't know how she'll react. We're guessing. Maybe you should just show up with him. If we act like there's nothing amiss, what's she going to say?”

Lisbeth was quiet for a moment. “I couldn't put Gabriel in that position.”

Carlynn sat down on the bench at the bus stop. Lisbeth was right. That would be unfair to Gabe, and unnerving for the rest of them as they awaited Delora's reaction.

“What if Mother knows, and says it's all right?” Carlynn asked. “He'd come then, wouldn't he?”

“Of course, and that would be wonderful,” Lisbeth said. “It would also be a miracle, though.” She ran a hand through her blond curls, which she now wore looser and longer, in a style that was so flattering Carlynn wished she'd discovered it first.

“Well, I'm going to talk with her about it,” Carlynn said.

“Good luck,” Lisbeth said. She didn't sound at all optimistic.

 

Carlynn called her mother that evening from the phone in her bedroom, and Delora immediately launched into a litany of problems she was having making arrangements with the photographer and the caterer. Carlynn listened patiently, and when Delora stopped to take a breath, she said, “I need to talk with you about something, Mother.”

“Don't tell me the wedding's off,” Delora said. There was more of a warning in her voice than there was sympathy.

“No, of course not. Nothing like that. I just wanted…” she hesitated. “You know, of course, that Lisbeth will be bringing her boyfriend.”

“Yes, I have his name on the list. Gabriel, isn't it? Shall I put him at the head table, next to Lisbeth?”

“That would be perfect, Mother. But I thought it would be best if you knew a little bit about him before the big day.” Car
lynn screwed up her nose as she spoke. She hated this. Gabriel's color should not be an issue, and she felt as though she, herself, was making it one.

“Well, tell me about him, then,” her mother said. “Where is his family from?”

“Gabriel's a fabulous person, Mom,” Carlynn said, avoiding the question of family, “but I thought I should let you know ahead of time that he's a Negro, just so you wouldn't be surprised when you saw him.”

There was a long silence on the phone line, and Carlynn wondered if her mother had fallen into a dead faint.

“This figures,” Delora said finally, in disgust. “Lisbeth goes out with no one her entire life, and then when she finally does, it's with a colored man. Well, it's out of the question, Carlynn. He can't come here.”

“It's my wedding, Mother.”

“And it's my house and many of my friends will be here, and I just won't have it, Carlynn.”

Carlynn ran her hand over the chenille spread on her bed, trying to think of a different approach. “Mom, he's really a lovely man,” she said. “He—”

“I don't care if he's president of the United States, he's not coming here.”

Carlynn gritted her teeth. “Lisbeth loves him, Mother. And he loves her. Doesn't that count for something? He's a professional. An accountant at SF General.”

“So he thinks he can get a white woman, then? Because he's an accountant? He's going to lower Lisbeth to his level, that's all he's going to do. And Lisbeth is going to let it happen.”

Carlynn let out her breath. How was she supposed to respond to that?

“If you think I'm going to have someone like that at one
of my parties, especially on the arm of one of my daughters, well…I wouldn't dream of putting any of my guests in that uncomfortable position.”

“It's not
your
party, Mother. It's
my
wedding. And it's Lisbeth you're putting in an uncomfortable position. You're making her unwelcome in the home she grew up in.”

“I never said she wasn't welcome.
She
can come. But she'd better be alone.”

“Mother…” Carlynn's voice trailed off in frustration.

“You know, I sometimes wonder if that girl is actually mine. I was asleep when they cut her out of me.”

“Don't be ridiculous.”

“Oh, I know she looks just like you, but you're a true Kling, with elegance and bearing and intelligence…”

Carlynn rolled her eyes.

“…but, somehow, Lisbeth turned out to be nothing but trash. Fat trash. I just can't believe she's doing this to me. To our family.” Her mother was weeping now, and Carlynn ignored her tears.

She thought of telling her that any differences between her twin daughters were of her own creation, but wisely bit her tongue. “She's not fat any longer, and you know it,” she said instead. “You saw her just a few weeks ago. She looks great. Give her some credit. She gained weight because she was miserable, but with Gabriel, she's happy. She's lost seventy pounds so far, and you didn't even compliment her on it when you saw her.”

“I don't care if she disappears,” her mother said angrily, and hung up the phone.

Carlynn stared at the phone in her hand a long time before placing it back in the cradle.

Lying down on the bed, she continued the conversation with her mother in her mind. She thought of telling her that
she envied what Lisbeth had with Gabriel. There was an adoration between Lisbeth and Gabe, a love so caring and tender, it sometimes made her feel weepy to be around it. She knew Alan loved her, but it was different. She supposed that she, as a physician, did not invite the sort of attentive devotion that Lisbeth received from Gabriel. She couldn't help but wish, though, that Alan would touch her more often, hold her hand in public and talk with her about his deepest secrets and feelings, the way Lisbeth said Gabriel spoke to her.

Rolling onto her side, she felt a pang of guilt for wanting Alan to be someone he was not. He would make a wonderful husband and father, and that's what truly mattered. And he
did
adore her, in his own way. She was never quite certain, though, if it was her gift or herself that he treasured most.

 

Carlynn and Alan met Lisbeth and Gabriel at Tarantino's the following night. It had become their favorite restaurant for a double date, despite the fact that the diners around them were mostly tourists. The sun had not yet set, and from their table near the window, they could see the boats in the harbor and gulls flying above the green water.

She'd told Alan about her conversation with her mother and about Delora's unwillingness to have Gabriel at the wedding.

“How bad has her eyesight gotten?” Alan had asked, only half joking.

“Not
that
bad,” she'd replied.

They'd gotten serious then, weighing their options and coming up with the only solution that seemed both fair and feasible.

Now, after they'd ordered their cioppino, Carlynn looked at Alan, who nodded at her, letting her know it was time to tell Lisbeth and Gabriel the decision they had made.

“There's been a change of plans,” Carlynn said.

“Regarding?” Gabriel was lighting a cigarette, but his eyes were on Carlynn.

“The wedding,” Alan said. “We've decided not to get married at Cypress Point, after all. We're going to have a smaller wedding right here, in the little Episcopal church near my row house.”

“What?”
Lisbeth was clearly astonished.

“It will have to be a different weekend than we'd planned,” Carlynn said, “because the church doesn't have our date open, but—”

“Stop this,” Gabriel said softly, and they all turned to look at him.

“Stop what?” Lisbeth frowned.

Gabriel tapped the ash off his cigarette as he seemed to collect his thoughts, then he looked at Carlynn. “I know you're making this change because of me,” he said, “and I don't want you to do that.”

“Oh, no,” Lisbeth said, understanding dawning in her eyes.

Alan licked his lips. “Look, Gabe,” he said, resting his arms on the table so he could lean closer to Gabriel. “You're right that you're the catalyst for the change. But please understand that your friendship and your presence at our wedding are much more important to us than where we get married.”

Carlynn gratefully squeezed Alan's knee beneath the table. How could she ever have wished for someone better than this gallant man?

“You spoke to Mother?” Lisbeth looked at Carlynn.

Carlynn nodded. “She reacted as you guessed she would,” she said. “And Alan and I are not willing to have Gabriel excluded or to have anyone feel uncomfortable at what is supposed to be a happy occasion.”

Lisbeth turned to Gabriel. “Oh, Gabe,” she said. “I'm sorry my mother is so impossible.”

Gabriel took another drag on his cigarette, blew the smoke into the air, then turned to Lisbeth. “Your mother called me,” he said.

“Oh, no.” Carlynn grimaced.

“How would she know where to reach you?” Lisbeth asked.

“I'd told her that he was the accountant at SF General,” Carlynn said. “I'm so sorry, Gabriel. I had no idea she'd call you.”

“Not your fault,” he said quickly to Carlynn, then leaned back, saying nothing as their waiter set plates of salad in front of each of them.

When the waiter had walked away, Gabriel continued. “She told me I wasn't welcome at the wedding,” he said. “But she had a great deal more to say than that.”