Cutter (55 page)

Bu
t
she’
d
develope
d
a
seriou
s
cas
e
o
f
conscienc
e,
sh
e
sai
d,
jus
t
a
s
I
wa
s
finishin
g
m
y
secon
d
yea
r
a
t
th
e
universit
y.
I
t
couldn’
t
g
o
o
n
an
y
longe
r,
tha
t
whic
h
we’
d
bee
n
sharin
g
sinc
e
I
wa
s
seventee
n.
Sh
e
tol
d
m
e
sh
e
kne
w
i
t
wa
s
unspeakabl
e
fro
m
th
e
beginnin
g,
bu
t
sh
e
ha
d
a
specia
l
feelin
g
fo
r
m
e
tha
t
wen
t
beyon
d
th
e
materna
l.
Marin
a
sai
d
sh
e
couldn’
t
explai
n
i
t
t
o
m
e,
bu
t
sh
e
fel
t
fo
r
m
e
a
s
sh
e
fel
t
fo
r
n
o
othe
r.
Sh
e
woul
d
lov
e
m
e
alway
s,
bu
t
sh
e
couldn’
t
g
o
o
n
sharin
g
a
be
d
wit
h
m
e.
Th
e
pressur
e
o
n
he
r
fro
m
hersel
f
wa
s
to
o
grea
t.
Marin
a
couldn’
t
liv
e
wit
h
th
e
growin
g
sham
e.
I
t
ha
d
t
o
sto
p,
an
d
i
t
suddenl
y
di
d
whe
n
sh
e
me
t
Aaro
n
. 

I
can’
t
sa
y
I hate
d
hi
m.
H
e
wa
s
a
decen
t
youn
g
ma
n.
Bu
t
h
e
too
k
he
r
awa
y,
an
d
tha
t
wa
s
reaso
n
enoug
h
t
o
despis
e
hi
m
.

I
didn’
t
kil
l
the
m.
Nik
o
an
d
Elen
a
ha
d
i
t
i
n
min
d,
thoug
h.
Th
e
polic
e
eve
n
talke
d
t
o
m
e.
Bu
t
ther
e
wa
s
nothin
g
t
o
th
e
accusatio
n,
an
d
the
y
le
t
m
e
g
o.I
stil
l
thin
k
Nik
o
believe
s
I
wa
s
involve
d.
M
y
brushe
s
wit
h
th
e
la
w
afte
r
m
y
militar
y
servic
e
convince
d
hi
m
I
wa
s
a
crimina
l.
Readin
g
abou
t
Elena’
s
deat
h,l
can’
t
sa
y
tha
t
I
mis
s
m
y
grandmothe
r.
Bu
t
I
wil
l
neve
r
b
e
abl
e
t
o
hea
l
th
e
hol
e
tha
t
Marin
a
puncture
d
m
y
ches
t
wit
h
th
e
nigh
t
sh
e
die
d
i
n
tha
t
wrec
k.
I
t
i
s,
therefor
e,
he
r
faul
t.
I
f
she’
d
gon
e
awa
y
wit
h
m
e
somewher
e
wher
e
Elen
a
an
d
Nik
o
coul
d
neve
r
fin
d
u
s,
m
y
lif
e
woul
d
hav
e
take
n
a
18
0.
Non
e
o
f
thi
s
woul
d
hav
e
bee
n
necessar
y,
I’
m
certai
n.
Marina’
s
th
e
on
e
wh
o
pu
t
th
e
knif
e
i
n
m
y
han
d.I
could’v
e
finishe
d
medica
l
schoo
l.I
wouldn’
t
hav
e
becom
e
involve
d
i
n
sellin
g
drug
s
..
.
Trul
y,
al
l
o
f
tha
t
sel
f-
hatre
d
would’v
e
bee
n
avoide
d
an
d
I
could’v
e
live
d
a
traditiona
l
lif
e
if
I
could’v
e
simpl
y
ha
d
on
e
ver
y
no
n-
traditiona
l
relationshi
p
.

Th
e
her
d
crushe
d
u
s.
I
t
move
d
he
r
awa
y
fro
m
m
e
an
d
eventuall
y
go
t
he
r
kille
d.
Sh
e
woul
d
neve
r
hav
e
bee
n
o
n
tha
t
highwa
y
an
d
i
n
tha
t
ca
r
i
f
i
t
hadn’
t
bee
n
fo
r
he
r
conscienc
e
attac
k.
Bu
t
th
e
cattl
e
close
d
i
n
o
n
he
r
an
d
mad
e
he
r
g
o
thei
r
wa
y.
No
w
she’
s
dea
d
an
d
I’
m
alon
e,
an
d
whe
n
th
e
hat
e
become
s
to
o
virulen
t,I
us
e
m
y
knif
e.
N
o,
I’
m
no
t
jus
t
i
n
i
t
fo
r
th
e
mone
y,
n
o
matte
r
wha
t
th
e
polic
e
lik
e
t
o
sa
y
abou
t
m
y
bein
g
a
sociopat
h,
tha
t
generi
c
ter
m
fo
r
anyon
e
wh
o
escape
s
categorizin
g
.