Custody (42 page)

A month later when an unidentified number appeared on his mobile Raman picked it up leisurely – expecting another marketing call.

‘Raman?’

‘Shagun?’

‘Is now a good time to talk?’

It had been a year since he had last heard her voice. Many, many times he had rehearsed speeches for just such an occasion, but at this crucial moment they abandoned him, and he responded with a concern that had lurked unacknowledged in some remote recess of his mind.

‘How are you? I wondered about you when the 9/11 thing happened.’

‘If we had died, you would have got to know.’

‘Is it a sin to enquire after you? We still have our children in common – unless that is a link you want to deny.’

‘That’s just it. We don’t have Roo in common. Why don’t you let me see her? I have been very patient, you can’t deny that.’

‘I don’t, but you left her when she was just a baby. You are not in her life any more.’

‘And why is that? Because you don’t want it. Now I am telling you that if you don’t send Roohi, I am going to file a case. And you are never going to see Arjun again.
Never.
Not even that one day to and from the airport.’

‘It’s less than twenty-four hours. And that’s the only way there is going to be any brother–sister connection.’

‘You want connection, you send her here. Anyway I am going to win my case. I am just trying to spare us both the hassles of the legal system. Think about it, will you?’

And she disconnected the phone.

Raman recounted this conversation to Ishita with reluctance. Her responses to anything to do with Shagun and Roohi were usually vehement.

Now she said, ‘She is threatening you. Why hasn’t she done anything till now?’

‘She wanted to avoid a case. Who wouldn’t?’

‘It will be hard for her to fight if she is not in the country, no?’

‘Not really. She can always get power of attorney.’

‘Then why hasn’t she?’

‘I don’t know. I believe she is working.’

‘She? Working?’

‘Whatever it is,’ he said impatiently, ‘I have told you the gist of the conversation. There is no use speculating about her life.’

‘But you can still see him in school, no?’

‘For how long? A few hours in a term. What does that mean?’

Ishita said nothing more. Her husband was not to be trusted as far as his ex-wife or son were concerned. Even a conversation about them left him irascible and touchy.

Over the next few days her sense of danger intensified. She saw a sword dangling over the family life she had created so painstakingly. That sword must be cut down, assiduously blunted, so that it never had the power to threaten.

Her husband’s messy first marriage kept intruding into their present existence, and though he didn’t mention it, she knew Shagun must have blackmailed him with Arjun. That was also why she could not rely on him.

Oh Mama,

Yesterday Ashok and I had a major, major fight, so major that I have not heard from him for one whole day. He is travelling, but when did that stop him? He has even phoned me from airplanes! (Costs 8 dollars a minute.)

It happened so suddenly I still cannot figure out what upset him. I just mentioned that once we are in Singapore I could devote more energy to seeing Roo. THAT’S ALL I SAID. He shouted that he was sick of my suffering, no matter how hard he tried I went on thinking of the same thing. Either I should take more concrete steps to get Roo or not miss her at all.

How unreasonable. Didn’t I phone Raman, threaten him with a contempt case? Further threaten him with not seeing Arjun? Appealed to his better self? Now Ashok feels I should come up with a more effective strategy.

What strategy? I could kidnap her – I am willing to do that – once I am in Delhi it won’t even be difficult. So I kidnap her, but then what? Roo is not like Arjun, she is younger, doesn’t understand things, cries, whines, you have to spend a lot of time with her, be patient. Arjun on the other hand is easy to deal with, boarding school has taught him independence. He and Ashok bond whenever he is here.

Can I imagine all this happening with Roo? Not in a million years. And wouldn’t that pull us apart? – I’m just a little afraid, Mama, and if this makes me a bad horrible person, then that’s the way it is. But I need to feel Ashok is ready to take the responsibility of a child – I don’t want to be a single parent – it won’t work – not with both of us wanting different things out of our marriage.

In my heart of hearts Mama, I want Ashok to take over. Where divorce was concerned, he was involved in each detail. Dealing with the lawyers, working out stratagems, understanding the implications of everything. It’s all so complicated.

He mentioned Madz. Why couldn’t I liaise with him instead of expecting him to take care of issues around the children? Didn’t he have enough on his plate?

I guess I must realise that ultimately they are my children not his. That’s what hurts. Arjun maybe he looks upon as his own, but he has – if I am honest – never shown much interest in Roo.

Perhaps I was foolish to believe, but he did promise to keep me happy for ever. Not that I have reproached him with anything. Our life together would not have been possible if I had regretted my past.

Still. What happened to that promise? I guess when you are in love you experience some momentary delusion, then the glow fades and things look ordinary again. Of course, I adore my life here, but sometimes I feel its foundations are fragile.

Sorry to unburden myself like this Mama. In New York there are few people I can tell such problems to.

S

Mama! Please! I am fine!!!!

I won’t tell you anything if you get so upset. Couples quarrel you know. Honestly, how on earth could you think he would leave me – just because of one fight!? In fact he is coming back today. From the airport he plans that we hire a car and go somewhere – a surprise destination. This is his way of making up.

Anyway I always go to the airport to receive him. I put on the things he likes to see me in, elegant western clothes of which I now have quite a collection. This time white silky shirt, black pants, tan leather boots, red scarf, black coat – he says I have western style and an eastern heart.

S

*

A few weeks after the Dehradun trip, Ishita brought up the subject again. In order to protect their interests, examine their options, wouldn’t it be a good idea to consult Nandan? As it was they lurched from holiday to holiday, wondering what plausible excuse to make each time. It was better to regularise the situation.

Next Sunday, the business-cum-pleasure meeting at Swarg Nivas.

Nandan said, ‘She has filed nothing yet.’

‘But she can, can’t she?’

‘Of course she can.’

‘But look at how small Roo is. Besides, it wasn’t possible to send her, sick, school admissions, sick again, surely when you are young childhood illnesses are believable,’ said Ishita.

‘We’ve gone through this before,’ said Nandan, jiggling his pencil violently between his first two fingers, looking at Ishita. ‘You have to abide by the decision of the judge, otherwise what is the point of the legal process? As for too small, if that objection was not made earlier, when she was even smaller, you cannot make it a point of consideration now. If the brother can go, why not the sister with him? And then you have custody of both children, it will look bad, very bad.’

‘Custody of both children, that’s all rubbish,’ snorted Raman. ‘Because we don’t send Roohi, she doesn’t let Arjun visit me. But Roohi thinks of Ishita as her mother, Ishita herself is very reluctant to have the child’s heart divided, and she takes such good care of her, what am I to say? She is not your child? You have to send her away to someone she does not even remember clearly? I can’t do that.’

Ishita beamed.

‘It’s just a visit in the holidays with her brother. The girl is with you the whole year round,’ pointed out Nandan.

‘Would you send your child away?’ asked the emboldened wife. ‘It’s not just a question of holidays. It’s how confused she will be, it’s the distance created between Roo and me. Suppose I were to discipline her, she can always say you are not my real mother, why should I listen? When she is an adolescent she could turn completely against me.’

‘At whatever cost to me, I only want their happiness,’ said Raman, who had had no idea Ishita was so busy peering into the future.

That was the trouble with his cousin, thought Nandan, he kept muddying the issue with words like ‘happiness’, when it was rights that were in dispute. He thought for a little while, doing more violence to the pencil.

‘I wouldn’t ordinarily suggest this – but since she hasn’t filed for contempt, let’s wait. The longer she goes without doing anything, the stronger our position. I wonder why she is not being advised better.’

‘Maybe because she is in the US?’

‘If she wants her daughter it makes no difference where she is. She has to show she is in earnest. Otherwise her case becomes weak.’

‘Can’t we file contempt against her for refusing to send Arjun in the holidays? If I don’t, maybe my case will also become weak.’

Don’t sound so hopeful, thought Ishita. We are here for Roo, not your son. And you can stop finding reasons for your ex not strengthening her position. What is it to us?

‘Arjun is – is – how old?’

‘Almost fifteen.’

‘In his case custody has no meaning. The boy can see you or not, as he wishes.’

XXXIII

Another year passed.

In the winter holidays Roo had typhoid. She was so sick she had to go on the drip. Copies attesting to this were signed and delivered to the grandmother’s address.

In the summer holidays, still very weak from her bout of typhoid, she was advised to recuperate in the mountains. Once there her parents sent her to a ten-day camp to help build up her stamina at an even higher altitude. The camp co-ordinator gave a signed testimonial stating how much Roohi’s fitness had increased. Once more photocopies were made and sent by registered post to Mrs Sabharwal.

That summer was also the first time Arjun went directly to the airport from school without the usual night with his father. Raman didn’t reveal his grief to Ishita, what was the point?

She did register, though, the absence of the usual excitement that preceded Arjun’s arrivals. For a while she said nothing. If he didn’t want to share, she should not intrude, but his persistent air of sad abstraction broke her down.

‘What’s the matter? Something to do with Arjun, no?’

‘He’s not coming here on his way to his mother.’

‘Why? You are his father.’

‘You know why. No Roohi there, no Arjun here.’

Ishita silently put her arms around her husband, cradling his suddenly older-looking face against her body. ‘I will do whatever you want me to,’ she averred. ‘Nothing is worth seeing you like this.’

But it was too late for that. No matter what happened, someone or the other would suffer. They sat like this for a while, Raman grateful that Ishita didn’t make her usual suggestion of let’s go and see Nandan.

Shagun phoned.

‘If you’d like to meet him on the way back, let me see her.’

He said nothing.

‘Raman! Are you there?’

‘What on earth do you want? Just leave me alone.’

‘Oh, stop being such a cry-baby. Tell me. Are you going to let me meet Roo? If not, no Arjun
ever.’

‘Why do you keep on linking the two children? The day you walked out that link was broken. And further destroyed when you sent Arjun to that school. You only care for yourself, not them.’

‘Oh, stop talking nonsense, and let me see her. It’s almost three years. She must have really grown.’

‘She has, yes.’

‘Raman, please. She is my daughter, I have rights. You can be there the whole time. What are you so afraid of?’

‘She has got a settled life now, something you chose not to give her. Any meeting will only be disturbing, she never mentions you.’

‘A child cannot forget her mother – Raman, what nonsense are you talking?’

‘She doesn’t want anything to do with you.’

‘Why don’t you ever let me speak to her? Are you hiding something?’

‘You can’t see her – why don’t you understand that?’

‘I will, when she tells me directly.’

‘She has another mother now – one who cares for her.’

‘You have turned her against me, Raman – you fucking bastard.’

‘And what did you do with Arjun? I no longer have a son.’

‘That was his choice. I did nothing.’

‘And this is Roohi’s choice – she wants to stay in the only home she has known, she wants to be with the mother who has looked after her devotedly every day for the last four years – even longer – before we were married.’

‘Oh Raman, so that’s why you married. I did think it was very sudden.’

‘You are a fine one to talk about sudden. Everything I did was at least above board.’

The cell went dead.

The grapevine in Raman’s office was activated enough for him to hear that Ashok Khanna was coming to South-East Asia as head of the region.

From Shagun’s perspective it would be an ideal situation. Proximity to India meant it would be easier for her to start legal harassment. Well, time had weakened her case, she would find that out soon enough.

Idly he went on the net – to gaze at pictures the previous Brand occupant had taken of Ashok’s house in Singapore – all as far from his own little set-up as was possible. Of course Ashok was going to get the good things of life, he thought, staring at the glittering blue surface of the private swimming pool. He could just imagine them holding poolside parties on the wooden deck he could see edging the water’s rim, serving drinks at the stone bar he could see tucked away under some trees to the left, cocktails in glasses that had little umbrellas sticking out of them, the cold misty alcohol smelling of lime and fruit.

So this was where Arjun was going to spend his holidays. He could imagine his tall handsome son lounging around the deck, fêted and courted by his mother, perhaps with an admiring friend in tow. Did DPA boys visit each other during vacation?