Curio (8 page)

But of course I wasn’t ready for that. Indulging the idea was breakthrough enough. Having a hard cock against my palm and Didier’s mouth on mine, the sensations feeling so natural… That was enough.

Everything was different now. More real. He was as horny as he had been controlled our first night together. And here I was, pursuing his body instead of having it offered. The fact that he was still dressed was a change in itself. Wicked fantasies aside, he felt alarmingly like my boyfriend, and the idea turned me on far more than it should have.

“What do you want?” I asked. I realized how backward the question was as it came out.

Didier surprised me with his answer. Our first evening he’d have turned it back on me, asked what I wanted, but this evening…

“Want to touch you.”

I’d been nervous about such a thing, but far more potent than my anxiety was the pleasure of being at the heart of Didier’s desperation.

“Okay.”

His eyes met mine, and the neediness fogging them was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. “Show me what I can have,” he murmured.

I shifted, still stroking his hard cock through his soft pants. I took his wrist with my other hand and placed his palm on my collarbone. His skin was warm, and though he’d touched my face and neck before when we kissed, this felt very intimate, only a few inches lower.

“Touch where you want to,” I whispered. “If it’s too much, I’ll stop you.”

He kneaded my shoulder and stroked my upper arm, raising goose bumps. I could sense the tension in him as he held back. I gripped his shaft tightly and he repaid me with a sharp grunt.

“You’re different tonight,” I told him.

“Is it too much?”

“No, I like it.”

“The way you’re touching me… You feel different as well. It finally feels as if you own me. That you know you can take, instead of requesting.”

“Do you like that? Feeling owned?”

“I do. Especially with a woman who comes to me so unsure.”

I imagined pushing him back against the arm of the couch, opening his pants and taking him with my mouth. How he’d moan and pant, and the weight of his strong hands on my head or shoulders. Then I recalled what he’d said, about oral being more intimate to him than intercourse.

But if I couldn’t rush that act, I’d at least taunt him with it.

“I keep wondering what it would be like to taste you.”

His hand clasped my arm tighter and he made a noise, as though a gasp had gotten lodged behind his tongue.

I let his erection go to free his belt buckle. His hand slid to where my shoulder met my neck, and the pressure was exquisite, a taste of plaintive aggression that lit me up. I freed the clasp of his slacks and lowered his zipper, his thick cock already straining at his shorts as I spread his fly open. It was
my
cock tonight. Mine to take, not his to offer.

“I love this,” I said, stroking him. It was far more explicit now, one thin layer of silk between us. I could feel his skin sliding, feel his heat and the contour of his shaft and head. A damp spot darkened the fabric and all I could think was,
I did this to him.

He whimpered. “Anything you want from me, you can have.”

“I want you to be the first man I ever take inside me.”

I gasped as his hand covered mine, squeezing his cock through the silk. It would have scared me only a few nights ago, but it felt amazing now. This polite, poised man, driven to bossiness by what I could make him feel.

He put his mouth to my throat, nearly kissing but not quite. His breaths were heavy and hot, as fast and rough as the strokes he made me pleasure him with. After half a minute he released my hand and pulled away.

Through a gasp he said, “Forgive me.”

“No, I liked it.”

“I did not mean to be so rough.”

“It’s good, really. I love that I’ve managed to make you that…worked up.”

“You have. I feel crazy, I want you so badly.”

“What do you want, when I touch you that way?”
So often, we’re asking one another what we want…

“Everything. I want to feel like the biggest, hardest cock you’ve ever had. Ever
will
have. I want you on top, using me. I want you on your knees before me, possessing me with your hands and eyes and your mouth. I want to hear you beg for me to take you, to come for you. Everything.”

I shivered to realize again how in tune with me he was. I wanted such a messy mix of things too. To be both aggressive and passive, cruel and helpless. Everything, indeed. I’ve always kept myself so separate from men, now that I’ve found one I’m willing to be close to, I want to be so close to him that everything jumbles, our roles mashed and swapped and switched, two bodies twisted in a frantic heap of sweat and mangled, modified kinks. I want his weight on me, his voice in my ears, his cock inside me. Behind me, above me, beneath me, even beside me, once the sex has had its way with us.

I like who Didier is turning me into. I like who I am with my armor stripped away. Stronger in my defenselessness.

I felt so thankful and energized, I wanted to spoil him. Without a trace of fear, I pulled his waistband down to free him. His cock looked new again in the lamp’s weak glow, bigger now that it was bare. He watched me, watching him. As I traced a finger along the ridge his flesh twitched, as though pleading for more. For
me
.

He slid his thumb under his waistband, holding it down for me. Something about this, about him presenting himself, exposing himself… His other hand palmed my shoulder. As I wrapped my fingers around him, his touch slid lower, lower, until he glanced my breast. The touch made me buck and he took his hand away.

“It’s okay,” I said. “You’re fine. It’s just intense, having someone do that.”

He cupped me softly and my racing pulse slowed.

I glanced down at my hand, his cock. “I’m not quite sure how to touch you. Beyond just exploring. How do you do it, when you’re…you know.”

“Here.” He wrapped my fingers around him, just below his head. I clasped him tightly as he directed, easing my fist up and down, up and down, at a steady, sensual pace.

“Then when I am close, I go faster. Harder.” He squeezed my fingers tighter and sped my pulls, rougher than I’d have ever done, taking my own liberties. He took us back to the slower caresses.

“Is that the same as when you’re inside a woman?” I asked. “Slow, then more frantic at the end?”

“Typically, yes. You tease me for long enough and my body grows impatient and greedy.”

A greedy Didier intrigues me greatly. For a long time I stroked him, liking the heat of his palm on my breast. I didn’t want to feel
fiddled with
, and I didn’t. I felt comforted. As my confidence with touching him grew, my mind wandered to what else I might do with this cock. What might bring him to that greedy, frantic state…

“I know you said oral sex is more intimate than intercourse.”

“You do not agree?”

I laughed. “I’m not one to ask. But I’ve never had a man before, either way. And actually losing my virginity feels like a bigger deal. I mean, I might still be intact, down there.”

His brows rose, curious. “You think so?”

“Maybe. Possibly.” The science behind hymen preservation had always struck me as murky. Tampons, sure. Horseback riding, minimal and non-vigorous. Could I have made it to thirty, my seal unbroken? The curious look on Didier’s face made me hope so. Such an old-fashioned notion of purity and ruin seemed fitting in this old-fashioned place, with its old-fashioned objects. Didier and his timeless, classical beauty.

“You do not use any toys by yourself?” he asked.

“Not inside me. I always thought I should save that. Since it’s been so long already.”

“Well.”

I nodded. “So that kind of feels like, I don’t know. The grand finale.”

“I understand.”

“But you do… You like going down on women, right?”

He grinned and released my breast, propping an elbow against the back of the couch and leaning back. “Very much. Perhaps that is why I save it for last.”

Heat trickled down my neck through my chest and belly to my cunt. I’d happily be Didier’s dessert, if that was how he felt about the act.

“You’re blushing.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Was I too bold?” he asked.

“No, I like what you said.”

“If I can make you blush just talking about this, I cannot wait to know what the actual caress will do to you.”

“I’d like to find out. Some night.”

“Some night?”

“Yeah. Maybe tonight… I’m not sure.” All my clothes were still on and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to go to the same base Didier had allowed me to take him. But I was here to find out.

“Could we go to your room?”

“Of course.”

I let him go and he stood to refasten his pants.

“Candles?” he asked.

“Please.”

The card table was in its place behind the couch and he carried it with us to his room. I sat and watched him light the many wicks, his exquisite face golden in the multiplying glow.

He turned to me as he shook the match. “More kissing?”

I nodded. “And could you maybe take your clothes off? Except your underwear.”

He slid his open shirt from his shoulders and dropped his slacks. He was still hard from what I’d done to him, erection curved to one side behind the silk. More of that sticky, self-satisfied pleasure filled me, banishing the nerves.

“Could you sit here?” I patted the center of the mattress.

Didier did as I asked, facing the head of the bed, and I arranged his long legs as I wanted them, in a V. Mindful of my dress, I scooted close, also in a V, with my legs draped over his. Mirrored this way, I felt vulnerable but equal. I edged even closer, enough that my hem gathered against his straining cock, our crotches still two or three inches apart.

Didier ran his palms over my calves and knees, smiling. “I like this. Feeling your body against mine.”

I liked it too, my smooth legs pressed to his manly ones. I imagined more, both of us naked. I kept the idea in mind as I touched his face and his mouth lowered to mine.

Every time we kiss, it feels different. New, exciting, dangerous, sweet, and now fond. I’d never before felt mastery over any of the men I’ve kissed, the sort of confidence that practice and familiarity breed. With Didier I was beginning to. He dominates just enough for you to kiss him back, but to also feel without a doubt that
you. Are. Getting. Kissed.

I hope it’s exactly how he fucks.

I fumbled our rhythm to scoot even closer, finally near enough for my dress to ride up and for his erection to press the crease where my thigh meets my hip. It was harder to kiss now, because he’s tall and we were so close, but the fascination of having my thighs against his waist and my chest brushing his… Further than I’d meant to go, but so exactly where I wanted to be.

Strong hands slid down my arms to my lower back, kneading. Punctuating the gesture were tiny movements from his hips, the faintest thrust of his cock against my bare skin.

I needed more, but I wasn’t sure what. Against his neck I whispered, “I want to go further.”

“You want me to take you there?”

I nodded.

“Everything now is fine? You just want more?”

“Yes.”

With no further preamble, Didier took hold of me beneath each thigh and pulled me against him, my legs wrapping around his waist. All at once, a hard cock was pressed to my pussy, where no man’s hand had even ventured. Our mouths were level once more and I’d found paradise, our bodies so perfectly enmeshed. He reached between us to center his shaft against my lips.

“Good?” he asked, our noses touching.

“Yes.”

“Nice for me as well.” He stroked my back and waist, my butt. I hadn’t expected that area to be so loaded with nerve endings, but the weight of his palms there took my breath away. When his hands moved to my hips, I felt the request in their gentle tugging. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders for support and adjusted my legs to kneel, and began to move.

I was awkward at first, grinding too hard. But he was patient, and before long I found my way, softly grazing his cock with my pussy. This was heaven, surely. Even better than sex, the perfect torture of anticipation. He held my ass, following the rhythm I set.

Didier’s breath went from deep to shallow to heavy to harsh. I leaned back to see what I’d done to him, his brows gathered in a tight line, eyes shut, mouth open. There’s no way to make that face anything less than stunning, but whatever I was making him feel, the results were ten times more handsome than any smile. I could imagine him tied down now. I couldn’t yet imagine actually inflicting his pleasurable suffering, but the thought of him submitting suddenly made sense.

His eyes opened. “Feels wonderful.” His hands left my butt and he braced them behind him on the bed, leaning back. It tensed his chest and arms and stomach, and gave me more freedom to explore this act. So unlike the old Caroly—who would never dare look directly at a shirtless man in the park, lest she affirm his vanity—I
stared
at Didier. His body was mine for the evening, every inch of hard muscle, the spray of dark hair trailing from his navel to his cock, all that bare skin, his scent and his face and his voice. His pleasure. He stared at me in return and I felt no judgment, only awe.

I paused to surprise myself once more, peeling my dress up and over my head.

I didn’t need his hands on me; his eyes were more than enough. I wondered what gave him that look… My skin, perhaps, far paler than his. My small breasts in the laciest bra I’d ever owned, purchased with a racing heart for this exact occasion. I didn’t feel like any of the adjectives I usually do, being seen in a bathing suit or suffering the harsh light of a dressing room—
gawky, pasty, bony
. His gaze turned all those words on their heads. I felt rare and graceful. Electric.

I wanted something that hadn’t actually occurred to me before. I wanted to come tonight.

Before, my thoughts had been nothing more than a carnal menu of unknowns—the proximity of naked man, the feeling of his flesh against mine, the surrender of my moldering virginity…perhaps to kiss a man and actually take pleasure from it, as a bonus. But never had I bothered to wonder if I’d have an orgasm. How much of my life had I wasted, opting out of experiences? The thought sobered me and my hips slowed.