Crystal Crowned [ARC] (15 page)

“Until, one day, I decided I would surprise her. I was studying at the Academia of Arcane Arts. Or maybe I was instructing a class. I don’t remember why . . . maybe they needed my assistance.” He shook his head. “Either way, I was early home. Earlier than anyone expected.

“It had been a few days since I had seen her. Days that may as well have been eternity. I surprised her at her family’s home . . . It was quiet, so quiet.”

Vhalla’s heart slowed with unease at the mad glint overcoming Jax’s eyes.

“So quiet that I could hear them. I followed the sounds, the cries, to her room. I found her there. I found her completely bare and beneath another man.” Jax began to chuckle. It was dark and as ominous as low thunder across a stormy sky. “I’d never even had a woman. I thought it romantic that I’d save my flesh for her hands alone. But she had known this man. Time and time again from what I discovered in that dim room.

“Coupling has no romance to it.”

Vhalla bit her tongue at an immediate objection. The man before her was a world away from reason.

“Trust me, Vhalla. It is the most animalistic need that craves satiation. I’ve scoured the world for something more, but I’ve never found it. We’re all just carnal beings, hunting, clawing, seeking to consume each other to fill the holes we’ve carved into our hearts from trying to scrape out our own inadequacies.”

“What happened next?” Vhalla spoke after a long moment. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer. But she knew she
needed
to know it.

“I killed them all.” He leaned back, slouching in his chair until his head rested on the back. His limbs were like long, willowy branches all stretched out. “First him. He had to die. He had to burn. He had touched her and oh, oh I killed him for it. I made her watch and she—” Jax choked on his tale a moment, but quickly regained his composure, “—she
begged
me to save him. She screamed for his life, as though she somehow loved him.

“Her family tried to stop me. They returned at her screams, and they tried to stop me. But they knew. They knew what had been happening. They needed to die as well. They burned, and she . . .”

Jax began laughing. It was a growl that rose from the depths of his throat and had him howling in morbid amusement in a moment. Vhalla failed to see the humor, but it was clearly the truth to his insanity. He stopped suddenly, looking back at her.

“Then, there was only me. I honestly don’t even remember half the magic that leapt from my fingers as arcs of fire across their flesh. But I do remember the satisfaction when they burned. Their blood was the first on my virgin hands.”

Vhalla was mortal. She’d had her streaks of jealousy, and she’d overcome them. She understood the nasty feelings that could rise in people; she’d lived enough now to have seen it from all sides. But this,
this
was more than she could comprehend. No matter what situation, she could never imagine herself harming Aldrik.
What kind of love was a love that led a man to kill that which he coveted?
Was such a love stronger than the one she held?

“I didn’t resist capture. By the Mother, I even pled guilty! There was nothing more for me. My future died with her, the woman I loved, the woman I killed. Lord Ophain stripped me of my title and rank.” Jax stood, wrapping up his tale with a nonchalant motion. “I should’ve been killed; that is the punishment for murder, after all.”

“Why weren’t you?” She tried to make sense of it all. Jax had survived for years. He had served under and even been respected by Baldair. Vhalla knew well what opinions the younger prince had held toward men who harmed women.

“You want me dead that badly?” Jax laughed.

“Answer the question.” Vhalla was no longer in the mood for his games.

Jax rolled his eyes and obliged. “I had a friend, someone better than I deserved. His brother and I had studied at the academy together, which was how we met. He came to my defense, pleading madness. He argued that the woman was the one who erred in breaking our contract. He came from an old family, and his name was both a help and a hindrance in court.”

“Erion.” Vhalla pieced it together. If Lord Ophain Ci’Dan had been overseeing Jax’s trial, the only name that could be a hindrance was the Le’Dan name. It also explained Jax’s connection to the guard.

“Bing-bong,” Jax chimed. He was morbidly chipper for being knee-deep in rehashing his dark history. “He managed to stall everything long enough for him to explain things to his friend, who was even higher.”

“Baldair . . .” Just the name evoked sorrow.

“The two of them constructed a new punishment for me. One that even Lord Ophain decided was fitting.” The Westerner paused at the door. “I would serve in the Golden Guard to pay my debt back to the people. If I did anything questionable, I would be killed.”

The terms were all too familiar to Vhalla. “For how long?”

“Until the end of my days.”

“Forever?” Even though she was once owned by the crown, Vhalla couldn’t imagine the notion of never-ending servitude. “You’re a slave.”

“I still prefer the title soldier.” He shrugged. “Though some still prefer to call me lord, as though it never happened, as though I could have been justified in what I did, as though I still have a family. Others at least add ‘fallen’ first.”

“Have you ever sought freedom?”

“No.” Jax looked through her. “That would be something I’d need to earn, not ask for. And my sins would never merit a pardon.”

“But your family—”

“I can’t look at myself in the mirror. Do you think I could ever face them again? I died to them the day I killed the woman I loved.”

Silence settled between them, still and heavy. Vhalla knew that, as the Empress, she’d have to face ugliness, horrors. But she wasn’t ready for those horrors to come from those she considered her friends. Then again, what were she and Jax now? It seemed she’d never really known the man.

Vhalla looked at him with fresh eyes, and it seemed he did the same. Things had changed between them, and Vhalla knew it was on her to decide how that change would manifest. Luckily, Jax didn’t seem eager to force her into a choice.

“If you require anything, future Empress, call for me and I will fetch it.” Jax gave a small bow. “Don’t forget, our Emperor decreed that my life is yours.”

“As if I needed a reminder . . .” Vhalla muttered at the door as it clicked closed behind Jax.

She leaned back, gripping her shirt over her stomach. She had been feeling better, but that unsettled sick feeling had returned in all its fury. Vhalla barely had enough time to escape the records room, bolting for her own chambers, before the sickness bubbled up.

“Vhalla?” Aldrik emerged from the door connecting their rooms.

Vhalla peeled herself away from the basin. Her knees felt a little shaky, and she leaned against the wall for support. She hadn’t expected Jax’s story to affect her so strongly.

“I thought you’d be out with the Western lords.”

“I came back to change before lunch.” He cast aside the muddy trousers he’d been carrying, crossing over to her. “Are you still unwell? Have you seen Elecia?”

Vhalla shook her head. She didn’t need a cleric. She needed the truth. She needed to know if everything Jax had just filled her head with was real.

“You and Jax.” Vhalla focused on the corner of the room instead of the bare-chested man before her. “Are you truly close?”

“He told you,” Aldrik breathed.

“How can you let him stay as he is?” Vhalla couldn’t fathom why Aldrik tolerated Jax’s presence, how Aldrik seemed to consider the other Western lord his friend. It seemed against everything she thought she knew of her lover.

“He wants it this way,” Aldrik said gently. “I never had the ability to free him until recently.”

“You would free him?” she balked. “He-he did something wretched.”

“Men who have done worse walk free.” Guilt crossed Aldrik’s features.

“What he did is nothing like what happened with you and the caverns.” Vhalla gripped her Emperor’s hands tightly. Aldrik looked surprised a moment, confirming that she’d guessed correctly. She’d come to know the demons he carried as well as the man himself.

“Very well,” Aldrik thought aloud. “You were able to forgive me and my crimes, perhaps you will be able to forgive his. I attached his life to yours, so it’s only fitting.”

“What is?” She frowned.

“You control his freedom, his fate.”

“Aldrik, I—”

“Vhalla, you will be Empress someday. If you cannot decide the fate of one man, how will you ever be able to pass judgment on the masses?”
The infuriating royal was using this as a learning experience
. “I wish I could spare you from it, but—”

“But you cannot,” she finished for him. The words were as heavy as lead. This was the price of her love. The cost of being with the man she had chosen. “What if I never decide that he has atoned?”

“Then that is your decision to live with.”

“You can be heartless,” Vhalla weakly replied with a small smile.

“You wound me.” His palms rested on her hips. “If I am heartless, it is because a library girl stole my heart.”

“You think you can distract me with your honeyed words?” She played coy, resting the back of her head against the doorframe.

“I think I can,” he proclaimed, and kissed her lightly.

Vhalla didn’t want to agree with him, but the Emperor could be persuasive when he wanted.

“Now, Vhalla, I know I am one gorgeous specimen of a man, but I fear you will make your intended jealous if you continue to stare like that.” Jax grinned at her.

“I was not staring,” she mumbled, looking at the road ahead. They’d been riding for three days straight and were nearing the border between the East and the West. And the only easiness she clung to was that her stomach had thankfull quieted down.

“My lord,” Jax called across her to Aldrik. “I do not think it safe to have your lady around me.”

“I do not think I have much cause for concern from the likes of you,” Aldrik remarked dryly.

“Vhal’s only ever had eyes for one man,” Fritz added helpfully.

Elecia hummed and glanced at Vhalla from the corners of her eyes. The woman kept her mouth shut, but the look put the thought of Daniel into Vhalla’s mind. Vhalla met the other woman’s gaze and held it until Elecia looked away. Elecia didn’t know what she and Daniel had been or, rather, hadn’t been. She would not be made guilty for it.

The moment Elecia’s attention was no longer on her, Vhalla shifted in her saddle, hiding another look in Jax’s direction.

She still felt uneasy around the long-haired Westerner whose life she now owned. She knew this was a test of Aldrik’s to keep her calm and to learn how to manage herself around someone who made her feel conflicted emotions. If she couldn’t figure out how she felt about Jax, she was going to be hopeless when it came to managing the snakes at the Southern court.
Assuming the Southern court was ever in session again.

Word of the attack on Hastan had rippled throughout the East on the backs of the messengers Vhalla had sent to call for soldiers. The towns they had stopped in and the inns they stayed at held a quiet that hadn’t been present before. War was coming, and it didn’t care if the people were ready or not.

The fields around them changed, crops differing with the shifting landscape. The soil was lighter, sandier, and the small rivers and streams that wove through the East were less full as they approached the West.

At the end of the third day, they ran into another Inquisitor group. Aldrik offered them the same deal he’d offered the prior Inquisitors, and the Southerners were all too happy to forsake the false king.
At least, that’s what it seemed like
. Vhalla held her tongue and let her expression betray nothing throughout the encounter. She wasn’t going to give away their intentions like before and endanger more people.

Through the former-Inquisitors, they learned of Victor’s latest decrees. The madman was finally acknowledging Aldrik and Vhalla were alive, though they were being painted as demons who rose from the dead, twisted and corrupt. It wasn’t the first time Vhalla had been called a demon, and she’d happily wear the mantle again if it cracked the resolve of Victor’s followers.

The Inquisitors told them that dissenters in the South were becoming commonplace and more citizens were using the opportunity to be an Inquisitor to escape the perpetually red streets. Victor’s personal army—the Black Brigade, as they were called—weeded out anyone who was potentially loyal to the old crown.

But one force gave birth to another counterforce. Before the Inquisitors departed, they gave one more interesting piece of information—the Silver Wings. The name was not lost on Vhalla, and it filled her with memories of the Tower sorcerers, proudly wearing their silver wing pins when she returned from the war. The description of the secretive group and the fierce loyalty among its members confirmed her suspicions. The Inquisitors said that those in the capital saw the Silver Wings as the only possible way to fight the false king’s tyranny.

This information improved their spirits on the following day’s ride. Knowing that Victor’s strength was wavering and the people were beginning to create organized forces against him put them all in a good mood. It was the most hope they’d dared to feel since leaving the South, and it was needed more than ever the next day.

An innkeeper had warned the group of what was waiting for them at the Western border, but nothing could prepare the group for what they actually encountered.

The border had been completely closed. A massive crystal gate stood over the road with walls stretching endless in either direction. Perched atop it were two winged beasts, the kind that had attacked Hastan. Vhalla stared at the shimmering, unnatural structure. All she could think about was Aldrik’s and her request for more soldiers from the West.

It didn’t matter if they’d sent all of the Western soldiers if those men and women couldn’t reach their destination.

“This looks a lot like Victor is compensating for something,” Jax appraised the size of the gate with a snigger.