Crushing (4 page)

I went straight to my room. I had a lot to process. I stomped around putting my stuff away. Frustration burned in my stomach. Gage and Dom would never be friends now, so I could kiss good-bye the picture in my head of us all hanging out together.

I needed to consider what my brother said. Had I been leading Dom on by spending time with him and letting him do things like walk me to the party? I knew how he felt about me, but I couldn’t really help that, could I? And I liked him too. I just didn’t know how much. On top of that, did that fight happen because of me? Why was life so complicated? I’m only seventeen.

I connected my phone to my stereo and flopped back on my bed to listen to music. I had the volume loud enough, I hoped, to let my parents know to leave me alone. I didn’t want my mother coming in here to ask why we got home early from the party. I did not want a mother-daughter “chat.”

I took deep breaths, staring at the ceiling. A small clinking sound coming from the balcony distracted me. Huh.

Then another one.
Clink.

I got the chills. What was that?

I stood up and slowly moved over to the French doors. On my balcony were two pennies.

Clink.
Another one hit the glass right between my eyes.

My heart in my mouth, I looked out into the yard. Gage was standing there holding the puppy and getting ready to throw another penny. He jerked his head toward the beach, turned, then went through the gate on the side.

Oookay. I guess I was just supposed to follow? Why were all the males in my life so overbearing? I huffed and put my shoes on. I needed to revert back to my old ways a bit. My parents were still up, and no way would a walk on the beach go over without a fight. And walking with Gage wouldn’t be any better in their eyes.

I went out onto my balcony. The drainpipe was still there even though it didn’t look quite as sturdy as it did a few years ago. I hadn’t shinnied down a drainpipe in years, but I imagined the process hadn’t changed that much. Good thing I had on appropriate shinnying clothes.

As I climbed over the rail and reached out for the drainpipe, I felt a flurry of excitement. Trouble—an old friend I hadn’t visited in a while. I had to suppress the giggles that wanted to bubble out of my chest. I missed this. I made it to the bottom without too much damage, although I wouldn’t be wearing a skirt anytime soon, what with the scrape on my knee now.

I came through the gate, and he and the puppy were waiting at the beginning of the beach path. By the time I caught up, the puppy was running ahead toward the water and then running back to us, barking and tripping over her feet. Her paws were almost the size of my palms. I think she had grown since I saw her yesterday, and Gage must have given her a bath because her fur was fluffy and she looked even more adorable.

He didn’t say anything; we just started walking. This felt weirdly familiar. Because of his stutter, we had spent a lot of our childhood not talking. If I had something to say, I would just jabber on like a monkey in a tree, and he listened. Too nervous for speech now, though, I tried to figure out exactly what I wanted to say.

We walked and our arms brushed. The squirrels in my stomach were at it again, and now they were doing the Mexican Hat dance. Really? I needed to calm down. I annoyed myself.

Clear and beautiful, the night was made for a walk on the beach. I loved the sound of the ocean, and most nights I fell asleep with my balcony doors open. A bit of a breeze blew, but even though it was still winter, it was only a little chilly.

We found a small sand dune and sat down to watch the puppy running at the waves and barking. Gage was looking out over the water. He looked relaxed, but I could barely keep my knees from bouncing. I really had to focus to keep myself calm. I breathed deep.

“So why didn’t you tell me who you were the other day?” I blurted out.

He laughed. “Sorry, I guess I was shocked you didn’t recognize me. I’m pretty forgettable, huh?”

“Well, since you don’t look the same at all, and you are about a foot and a half taller, I think I should get a pass.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “I hear you’re either a drug dealer, a cheater, or you got the dean’s daughter pregnant. Should I be worried about being out here on the beach with you? I came prepared.” I dangled my keys with the pepper spray my dad insisted I keep at hand. I knew I was perfectly safe, but I wanted the real story.

He laughed. “Wow, is that what’s going around? I guess I’m not surprised. We Southerners do love our gossip. I didn’t actually do any of those things, but in the spirit of honesty, I did get expelled.”

I nodded. If I let my mouth run away with me now, I would never get the story out of him.

“It was for fighting.” He did have the grace to look a little embarrassed. “I would imagine you aren’t shocked about that, but it was unavoidable so—”

“So that’s why you’re back? Because you got kicked out of school?”

He opened his mouth to answer, when the puppy came skidding to a halt right in front of us and decided to shake the water and sand off her body all over us. I shrieked and tried to block it with my hands, but too late. Lovely. Good thing she was cute.

“Did you come up with something to call her?” I asked while I was attempting to brush myself off.

“Bailee.”

“Cute. What made you pick it?”

“Well, we had to bail her out, so it seemed to fit. She reminds me of you, actually.” He nudged me with his elbow.

“I remind you of a dog?” He was obviously not trying to win any points with me. First I’m fat, and now I remind him of a dog.

“Uh, no. She reminds me of you. Getting herself into messes I have to get her out of.”

“Oh really?” I smiled. “Well it’s been a long time since you have attempted to get me out of any messes.”

“Until yesterday. And tonight.”

I frowned at him. “As a matter of fact I was thinking earlier that my life has never been more dramatic than since you showed back up.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“Well, it stands to reason. My life seemed normal before, and it’s been upside down since you got back . . .”

“Ah. I see.”

That reminded me.

“Hey what did you mean when you saw me in the storm drain and said ‘of course’?” I glared at him again.

“Just that. Of course you would get stuck in a storm drain trying to save a puppy.”

“You act like you know me now. You don’t, so don’t pretend you do.” I wasn’t sure why, but I was mad. It didn’t make any sense, since I was pretty sure he hadn’t had a choice about leaving. Still, he didn’t get to pretend like he knew anything about my life now.

He didn’t say anything, just turned away. Now I felt bad.

We stared out at the ocean for a while just listening to the waves. I thought about when he left. There had been a hole in my heart where only he fit. I had shut off that part of my heart and didn’t even realize it. We weren’t the same people now, and I didn’t know if we would ever be able to get back to the closeness we had when we were kids, or if I wanted to.

The puppy had finally tired herself out. She came over to me and climbed into my lap, then she curled up and went to sleep. She was adorable.

There was something I wanted to ask him. I wasn’t sure if I should, but I really needed to know.

“What happened with that fight? I don’t understand.”

“Holden’s a tool,” he said with a grimace.

“Well, yeah, but you knew that when we were eight. Why would you hit Dominic when Holden was the idiot?”

His face got serious, and he didn’t answer right away. He looked back out to the ocean.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“Umm, no.”

He looked back at me. “That didn’t sound too convincing.”

“Well, we’re good friends. It’s complicated.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re either dating or you’re not. I’m hoping not, since you’re out here with me. That wouldn’t be cool.” He sounded disapproving.

I didn’t want him thinking I was like that. Eww.

“We aren’t. Our parents would love it, and I don’t think he would object, but he hasn’t asked, and I made it clear I don’t want a boyfriend. Clear enough?” Sheesh.

“You don’t want a boyfriend, or you don’t want him for a boyfriend?”

“As you well know, I have two very large overprotective brothers and a dad who still likes to think I’m six years old. Would you want to deal with that?” I realized he had turned the conversation back to me and away from him. Convenient. “You still didn’t answer me.”

He looked back out to the ocean before he answered. For some reason I knew the answer was important.

“I don’t like him. He should have made Holden let go of you himself. No guy has the right to put his hands on a girl against her will. Ever. If you aren’t doing something about it, you are enabling it, and I hate that almost as much. Even if he isn’t your boyfriend, as your friend he shouldn’t have allowed it. If you don’t believe me, ask your brothers.”

Wow. Okay. I think I hit a sore spot.

“I guess I can see your point of view. I don’t actually think Dom saw it until you guys started pushing and shoving, but okay. He probably doesn’t take Holden seriously, since we see him like that a lot.”

“He grabs you a lot?” He was starting to look angry.

“No. He’s obnoxious and drunk a lot. I appreciate that you were concerned, but it wasn’t necessary.”

He shrugged. “That’s your opinion.”

“I can take care of myself. I’m not sure why nobody gets that.” Why were guys so irritating? Ugh.

“Yeah I saw how well you were taking care of yourself.” He didn’t look convinced.

I wasn’t getting anywhere. I looked at the time on my phone. I didn’t want to go, but I also didn’t want my parents to check in and find me gone. That would not help my situation.

“I’d better get going.”

I handed him Bailee so I could get up. She was obviously exhausted from her adventure. “I’m glad your uncle let you keep her.” I rubbed her head.

“Yeah, I think he feels bad because he isn’t home much.”

“I worried he would make you take her to the pound,” I said as I brushed myself off.

“Well, I think he wishes he could change his mind now,” he said with a laugh.

“What happened?”

“She chewed a pair of his seven-hundred-dollar shoes. Not a banner moment for her.”

“Oh man. Poor Bailee.” I reached over and gave her a scratch. “It’s not fun to be labeled a troublemaker.” She looked at me sleepily and licked my hand.

I worked up the nerve to ask him something I’d been wondering about since he came back.

“So…” We started back up the beach toward home.

“Uh-oh.” He laughed.

“No more stutter?” I asked.

“Nope. Gone for good.”

“I’m going to be totally nosey here. What happened?”

“It’s fine. When we moved to Florida, my grandma and I took foreign language classes.”

“And that helped?”

“Yup. She read somewhere that it could help. I became fluent in Spanish and Portuguese.” He shrugged like it was no big deal. “Once I could speak another language without a stutter, it pretty much went away. Totally gone by the time I was fourteen.”

We had stopped in front of my gate. I reached out and gave him a hug, squishing Bailee in the process.

“Whoa. Okay.” He hugged me back.

“I’m sorry. I’m just so happy for you.” I knew it must have been more work than he let on. I was relieved he didn’t have to live with that stutter forever. I could feel tears behind my eyes trying to get out.

“It’s okay, Rory. I’m all good.” He shook his head at me.

I gave him another squeeze, then let go and stepped back.

He walked me through the gate up to my back door. I turned and we just stared at each other.

“I’d better go in.”

“Wouldn’t want the parents to know you are out with the bad boy and not the ‘Mr. Perfect’ they’ve picked for you,” he said.

I felt bad that he knew how my parents felt about him. My life was not usually this full of drama. I huffed out a breath. “Sorry.”

“Here, give me your phone. I don’t want you to have to climb down a drainpipe just to talk to me. I thought you would just come out the back door like a normal girl. I should have known you would do things the hard way.”

We exchanged phones and put our numbers in.

He handed me back my phone. His face was serious all of a sudden. “Now I won’t lose you again.” He gently brushed his fingers over my cheek and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

I shivered. We stood there staring into each other’s eyes. Bailee yawned a huge yawn, and the moment was lost.

“See you,” I whispered as I snuck in my back door. I turned and looked through the window. He was still watching me. When he turned and walked away, there was a tiny ache in the area of my heart. I already missed him. Not good.

After church the next day my family had lunch at home, and I started my regular Sunday argument with Jeremiah about when we were going kayaking. Napping was a requirement for my Sunday afternoon. Now we were trying to decide if I was going to nap before kayaking or after. I always argued for before because I would feel refreshed after a nap and be ready to go. Jeremiah always argued that I could nap after and lounge the rest of the day. Since Jackson, the peacekeeper, wasn’t here, the argument went on longer than usual.

“I told Dom to come over now, so we have to go now,” Jeremiah said.

“I can just text him and tell him later. No big deal!” I was getting cranky, since I had been out late and up early, and I’d had another nightmare. At least I hadn’t screamed this time.

I knew I would more than likely have to give in to Jeremiah’s demands, but I wasn’t feeling very gracious. My dad walked in, and his expression was grim.

“Did you hear about Lindsay Patterson?”

Jeremiah looked up. “Why? She okay?” he asked.

“She’s gone missing.”

What? No way. Not Lindsay. I was nauseated all of a sudden.

“Maybe she just ran off with her boyfriend or something,” Jeremiah pointed out.

“They found her purse, keys, and cell phone in her car out on the highway.”

“She doesn’t even have a boyfriend,” I said, feeling dazed. This could not be happening.

My dad looked so serious. I was about to ask how long she had been missing, when Dom walked in looking upset.

“Did you hear about Lindsay?” he asked without preamble.

“I just got off the phone with your dad,” my dad told him.

He sat down at the table next to my brother.

“When did she go missing?” I asked.

“Friday night,” Dom mumbled with his head in his hands.

“When did they find her car? Maybe she went out with friends and forgot her purse.” I knew I was grasping. My brain could not comprehend what was going on right now.

“Early this morning,” my dad said.

No seventeen-year-old girl would leave her purse and cell phone on purpose for almost two days. Not unless she physically couldn’t get to it. This was bad. The missing girls had never been anyone we knew. They had always been girls who had a not-so-great home life. A little on the edge. Which is why they thought some of them might be runaways. But this was a lot closer to home. I really liked Lindsay. She was a sweet girl. She was beautiful and funny, and everyone loved her.

Did this mean the disappearances were starting again? I looked down, and the hair on my arms was standing up.

My dad cleared his throat and looked right at me. I had a feeling this was not going to be good.

“Well, I am pretty sure this is obvious, but I am telling you straight out, Rory—you are not going anywhere alone.”

“Explain ‘anywhere alone’?” I was going to try to get this clarified before going off the deep end. No need to start a full-blown argument unnecessarily.

“Just what I said. Nowhere. Alone. Not to school, not to the store, not to the beach, golf course, or shopping. Nowhere. Got me?”

Wait. A. Second.

“So are you saying I can’t leave the house alone ever?”

“Until they find Lindsay or catch the person who did this.” He nodded. “That is exactly what I am saying. Your mother or I will drive you to school and pick you up. If you want to go anywhere, you will need to be with someone. Preferably with me, your mother, or your brothers. Or of course, Dominic.” He nodded in Dom’s direction.

Oh my gosh, he had gone completely off his rocker.

“You are not driving me to school. I have my own car. I’m willing to take someone with me if I go to the store and maybe not walk on the beach alone. That I get, but I don’t see how driving to school is a problem.” He couldn’t be serious. “You’re overreacting—even for you!”

“I’ll take you to school, Ror. No big deal,” Dom offered.

Of course he would. Ugh. It wasn’t Dom’s fault, but he was so not helping. I wished he would stop sucking up to my dad. This is one of the huge problems with him and me. Not attractive behavior. Whose side was he on? My head was spinning with everything happening. I didn’t want to get into this now. I was so worried about Lindsay.

“Dom, stay out of it,” I snapped at him.

He shook his head.

“He is just trying to keep you safe, Rory. Don’t be difficult,” my dad argued.

Difficult? They hadn’t even seen difficult yet.

“I understand staying in a group for shopping or wherever. I don’t understand being on lockdown like I’ve done something wrong! I want to drive to school.”

“They got her on the highway, Rory.” Jeremiah finally stepped in but on the wrong side. I was surrounded by cavemen.

“Mom!” I yelled. She had been upstairs changing. I needed her on my side.

“I have already spoken to your mother about it. She agrees with me,” my dad said. “I’m sure it will only be for a little while.”

I was upset about Lindsay and mad that they were using it to go all crazy paranoid. I felt sick, and I didn’t want to even think about what it all meant, but this kind of reaction was uncalled for.

However, since I didn’t have even one person on my side, I decided I wouldn’t argue. Not yet. I was too angry and upset to deal with a bunch of Neanderthals.

I shoved back from the table.

“I don’t feel like kayaking today. I’m going upstairs to my jail cell. Do I need an escort or may I go alone?”

They all just stared.

“Whatever.” I stomped out of the room. Was I the only sane person in the house?

“Rory, hold up a second.” Dominic followed me out of the room.

Just what I needed. I knew we had to have a conversation, but I didn’t want to do it now. He pulled me into the living room, where we wouldn’t be overheard.

“I wanted to talk to you about last night.” He looked at his feet.

“What is it, Dom?” I sighed.

“I’m sorry about getting into a fight like that. I don’t know why he punched me, but it was just instinct to fight back. I know you could have gotten hurt. I’m really sorry.” He looked up into my eyes.

How did I not just love this boy? He was so sweet, and I knew he cared for me. Not to mention he was adorable. This would be so easy.

“It’s okay, Dom. It wasn’t your fault. I think it was a big misunderstanding.”

He nodded.

“Do you like him?” Subtlety and Dom didn’t really mesh.

“He was my friend years ago. I don’t even know him now.”

“I think he’s after you. I heard he asked about you when he came to school to register.”

Gotta love small towns. Gossip moved faster than wildfire.

“Dominic, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think he thought you guys were hassling me. That’s all.” I put my hand on his arm. “It’s really okay.”

“I know you don’t want a ride to school, but if I take you it will keep your parents off your back, and it won’t be as embarrassing. It’s the reason I said I’d do it. I know you think I’m siding with your dad, but”—he looked away from me—“I was just trying to make it easier. I’m sorry if I made you mad.”

How could I argue with him? I knew he loved my family and wanted to make me happy too. It couldn’t be easy to always be in the middle like that.

“Okay, Dom. You can take me. It’ll be fun.” I smiled at him.

“Come kayaking. Please, Ror?” he begged.

I rubbed his arm. “I’m gonna nap. You have a good time with Jeremiah.”

“It’s not going to be as much fun,” he grouched.

“You’ll survive, I’m sure.” I headed upstairs. I flopped on my bed. This was not going to be a good week.

#

I can hear noises. I think it’s someone else breathing. I don’t open my eyes because I’m afraid. I’m afraid to know what’s really happening. If I go back to sleep maybe I’ll wake up and this will all be a dream. There is a scurrying sound near my feet. I roll myself into a ball and wish it’s all a dream. It can’t be real.