Crossing the Line (5 page)

“Do you need me to repeat the question?” he asked. “Or should I say it in Korean so you can understand?”

“North Korea.” I held his glare. I wasn't about to let him win, but he
was
getting to me. The craving was getting harder to fight off. I balled my fists on my lap to keep myself in check.

He smirked. “You would know, wouldn't you?”

My nails dug into my palms. I hated that after a month I could still be pushed into feeling like this. No matter what Dr. March had said, it shouldn't take this little to put me on the edge. I should be
better than this.

“I bet you think you're doing right by the Great Leader, coming in here to spy on us.”

Most of my day had been spent with agents implying I was a traitor, but Agent Harper was direct enough to draw the anger and emotion out of me. “I'm
not
working for KATO.” My words were startlingly forceful.

Harper's lips stretched into a condescending smile. “That's just what you want us to believe.” He stared me down for a moment before turning and strolling back to the front of the room. “Why don't we look at how much you don't know?”

I bit my tongue.

“What's the first amendment to the Constitution?” he asked. I stayed quiet, refusing to admit that I didn't know. Agent Harper laughed. “Do you even know what the Constitution is?”

Again, I kept my mouth shut, focusing on anything but the attention I was getting from the rest of the class. I had heard about the Constitution, but I didn't know the details. KATO was good at keeping us away from things they didn't want us to know. He spent the rest of the class making a spectacle, pointing out how little I knew. I kept trying to tell myself I'd been through worse, but it didn't matter. Every question spurred a dark emotion in me, which made me crave the drug in a way I wasn't expecting.

Every time he said something to me the whole class would glance back like I was going to explode at any moment. Which by the end was actually not far from the truth. I found it harder to remember my mission. But I had to. My plans were too big to let someone like Agent
Harper get to me.

The only way I made it through the class was by pulling my mind back and tuning everything out. When the last bell rang I got my stuff together and left as quickly as I could. At that point, seeing Scorpion waiting impatiently for me in the hallway was a welcome sight.

 • • • 

Scorpion took off down the hall when I came out of Harper's room. I urged myself to keep up, angry that I was feeling more unstable with every step. I took a moment to get myself together, which Scorpion didn't appreciate. “Let's go,” he said when we got outside. “I'm missing the afternoon training for this.”

I had an appointment with Dr. March, and Scorpion had to take me. I forced an eye roll. “I don't see why that's my problem.”

He spun around and glared at me. “It's your problem because you're the person holding me back.” His eyes narrowed. “For someone who claims to be on our side, you spend an awful lot of time getting in my way.”

“You haven't even been with me a full day,” I said. “And no one said you have to wait for me. All you have to do is guide me from one place to another. You decided to make it more.”

He looked ready to attack, but instead he turned on his heel and stalked off ahead of me, staying silent until we were on the top floor of the Operations Building outside the medical wing. “Don't take too long.”

“I'll be out when I'm
done
.”

He glared at me, and I ignored him. I stepped past him and
pushed the door open. Dr. March was waiting for me in the lobby. She smiled when I first came in but once she got a good look at me, her smile faded and her eyebrows knitted together. “Jocelyn.”

“I'm fine,” I said. “I just—” I closed my eyes, hiding how much I was struggling.

“You're not fine,” Dr. March said. “You're fighting it.”

I shook my head, but hearing it out loud broke my resolve. Suddenly I couldn't stop shaking. She put her arm around me and quickly led me to one of the back rooms. She sat me on the bed and guided me back onto the pillows. I hated that I still needed to be taken care of.

I rolled onto my back and curbed the urge to curl up in a ball, still fighting for control and craving the high. Dr. March stepped away for a moment, then came back with a tray. She sat on the edge of the bed and brushed my hair away from my left ear. “You'll be okay in a minute,” she said. I closed my eyes as she reached back for the tray. A few seconds later I felt the acupuncture needles settle in and around my ear. She did the same to the other ear. The effects were almost immediate.

Dr. March ran a hand through my hair. “I'll let you rest for a while.”

I let myself relax once the door closed. It was the first time I had been truly alone since Scorpion picked me up for breakfast. I let the alternative medicine work its magic. Dr. March came back after—I don't know how long. She took the needles out of my ears, and when I was ready, I sat up. She looked at me with the sad but nurturing expression I had gotten accustomed to. “Do I even have to ask how your first day went?”

“It wasn't that bad,” I said. She gave me a doubtful look and I rubbed my eyelids. “I should be able handle this. None of this has been easy, but KATO was so much worse.”

“At KATO you were high all the time. That numbed you in ways I'm not even sure you realized,” she said, writing in my file.

I exhaled heavily and shook my head. “I should be stronger.”

She stopped writing and looked up. “You are the strongest person I've ever had in this office.”

I bit back a disbelieving laugh. “It doesn't feel that way.”

“This isn't something you ever really get over. Not completely. And with this drug”—she shook her head—“it's going to take you longer than most. Every addict has triggers that make them want to get high again, and the closer you are to the drug, the stronger and more frequent that want will be.”

I ran a hand along my forehead. “Tell me about it.”

“What you're going to find is that some triggers are stronger than others,” she said. “Today was stressful, even for someone who's survived what you have. Certain things are going to set you off more. It may take you by surprise at first, but once you can anticipate it you'll have an easier time counteracting it. In the meantime we'll keep up with the acupuncture treatments.”

I nodded.

“You should also be aware that the drug has a steroid component to it,” she continued. “So don't be too surprised if your senses or reflexes are a little slower than you're used to.” I looked at her sharply. Those were two of my most important defense systems. Dr. March sensed my panic. “You'll adjust.” She put a reassuring hand on my knee. “It just may take time.” She stood up and dipped her head
slightly so she could look me in the eye. “We're going to figure all of this out, okay? But for now, you're good to go. Come back if you feel your symptoms building up. It doesn't matter what time it is.”

I smiled at her weakly. “Thank you.”

She gave my shoulder a squeeze and left the room, giving me a minute to myself before I headed out.

 • • • 

Scorpion was leaning against the wall, arms crossed with one foot propped up. His face tightened in annoyance when he saw me. “What could you have possibly been doing that took so long?”

I had been in with Dr. March for forty-five minutes, but from the way he was acting, it was like I'd been gone for hours. I moved in front of him and headed toward the training facility. “None of your business.”

He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around to face him. “Were you casing the place?”

“What?” I tried to pull away but his grip was too strong. “No.”

“What did you steal?” He scanned me, searching for any sign of a lie. “Medical files? Research?”

I struggled against him, matching his gaze. “I didn't take anything!” He didn't believe me.

His jaw flexed and he spun me around against the wall.

I pushed back. “What are you doing?” I was livid.

“If you've got nothing to hide, then prove it,” he said. He was pissed he had to wait and he was looking for a fight I couldn't afford to give him. The mission was too important. He muscled me back around and frisked me expertly. I bit down hard on my lip, fighting
the urge to punch him.

I whipped around when he was finished, furious.

But Scorpion didn't care. “I
will
find out what you're up to.” His voice was full of determination.

“There's nothing to find out!” I growled. I breathed heavily and made myself calm down a fraction. Then I smiled bitterly. “But even if there was, you'd never find it. We both know how good I am. Isn't that right,
Travis
.”

His lips thinned and he let out a frustrated grunt. “Don't. Call me that!”

I pushed myself off the wall, away from him and toward the exit.

I
t took me a few days to settle into the routine, but even then I never let down my guard. Scorpion's angry condescension hadn't lessened, and Cody and Rachel had taken a run at me every chance they got. But I could handle them. My classes were still overwhelming, but so far the first day had been the worst. Gwen had even worked out that I didn't know how to take notes and walked me through it. Still, the best part of my day became the afternoon workout sessions. They gave me the chance to go off by myself in a corner and pound the punching bag. Agent Harper still rubbed me the wrong way, so punching something helped keep the cravings at bay.

The downside was that the afternoon training sessions were open to both agents and academy students. The kids missed the morning sessions because they had their more practical combat and espionage classes. The afternoon sessions were also open to their teachers. Most of the instructors were older and out of the field, so they didn't have too much of a presence in the training facility. But Agent Harper was younger and still actively training—he lived to torture me. He tried to bait me into a fight, but after the Cody incident I did my best to avoid all of them.

Scorpion kept an eye on me, but he also stayed as far away as he possibly could. And the other agents did the same, aside from a few glares and glances, which was why it was so surprising when I realized one of Scorpion's friends was standing next to my bag—she was the only one from his group I hadn't talked to yet. She waited patiently with her arms crossed. I tried to ignore her, but the longer she stood the more determined she seemed. Eventually, my resolve cracked and I stopped punching. “What are you doing here?”

She flipped her long dark ponytail over her shoulder and smiled. “I want to talk to you.”

I blinked. The addition of the students had made the afternoon training sessions louder than the morning ones, and I was convinced that over the grunts and hits and laughter, I couldn't possibly have heard her right. “You what?”

She smiled. “The only agents you've talked to are Travis, Cody, Rachel, and Sidney Harper, and none of them are all that interested in hearing your side.”

My eyes widened in disbelief. “And
you
are?”

She shrugged. “I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I figure if you're telling the truth and you aren't brainwashed, then things must have been pretty awful for you. And I thought you could use someone to train with.”

I stood stiff, unsure of how to react. I may have been here only a few days, but so far not one agent had even considered that I might be telling the truth. I wasn't prepared for the flood of KATO memories that came with that acknowledgment.

I didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter. She kept talking.
“I'm Nikki, by the way.”

“You already know who I am.” I kept my stance guarded. “You're friends with Rachel, right?”

“Yes,” she said with a skeptical tone.

“I can't imagine she would be too excited about you talking to me.” I glanced behind her and past several sparring agents to Rachel, who was glaring back at me.

“She's not,” Nikki said. “But she'll get over it. I have a habit of talking to people no one else likes. Though you should know that just because we're talking, doesn't mean I trust you. Because I don't.”

“Then what are you doing here?” I asked, irritated that she'd brought any of this up to begin with.

She shrugged. “Every other agent wants to keep away.
I
want to get to know you. Because if you're telling the truth, you're going to need a friend. And if you're not, I want to be the first to know.”

I considered her for a moment. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to have someone else on my side. “Fine,” I said. “But I'm not looking for a sparring partner today.”

She nodded. “I'll give you some time, but you'll have to learn to adjust because I'm going to be around.”

She walked away without another word. When she got back to the group, everyone seemed to have a question, but Nikki just shook her head and pulled Rachel aside to train.

Scorpion stalked over to me at the end of the training session, a determined scowl etched in his face. “What did Nikki want with you?”

I kept punching. “Why don't you ask her about it?”

He pulled the bag back, so I'd miss my next punch. I glared at
him. “I did,” he said. “She wouldn't tell me.”

“Then I guess it's none of your business.” I tried to continue my workout, but he stepped in front of the bag, blocking me.

“You don't get to decide that.” His expression was strained and angry. “Now tell me. What did she want?”

I sighed, too tired to fight him anymore. “She said she'll be keeping an eye on me. Just like everybody else. You happy?”

He didn't say anything, but when I pushed him aside to get to the bag, he went without a struggle.

 • • • 

I'd been at the IDA a week before I met with Simmonds again. Scorpion had been just as brusque and irritating as he had been on day one. And Agent Harper and Cody hadn't gotten tired of giving me a hard time. From what I could tell, their disdain for me was the only thing the two of them ever agreed on. Nikki had kept her promise to be “around.” She started training closer to me and even threw a few friendly comments my way. I also started finding my way on campus. I had more or less managed to get the layouts of all the buildings. I had made it a point to know everything I could about KATO so I could find a way out. I hadn't planned on needing the same thing for the IDA, but I wasn't leaving anything to chance.

It had been five weeks since I'd left KATO, which meant it was about time I made my first contact. They were expecting it to be a while before I was trusted with anything, but the sooner I got in touch with them, the better. Simmonds was waiting for me when I showed up at his office before my classes.

“How have you been?” he asked as I sat across from him. The mission map on the monitor above his head caught my eye. There were
nine dots now, and in different locations from the last time I had been in the office.

“Good,” I said, forcing my focus back on him. He gave me a doubtful look and I conceded. “I'm okay.”

“You came in with four bottles of Gerex,” he said. “How long is that supposed to last?”

“Until mid-December,” I said, shifting uncomfortably. “Each bottle has a month's supply.”

“Is there a way they planned to get more to you if you need it?” he asked.

I shrugged. “They said that there is, and that they'd let me know when the time comes.”

“Very well.” Simmonds tapped the file folder on his desk with his thumbs. “Are you ready for this?”

“Yeah,” I said. I had to be. “If we wait too much longer they might get suspicious.”

“How are you supposed to contact them?” he asked.

“They gave me a series of websites and message boards to memorize. First I have to check the temperature in Berlin on a KATO-controlled weather site. The temperature dictates what message board I'm supposed to go to. Then each site has a coded protocol that's designed to fit the language of the website.” I rattled off everything as KATO had trained me to.

Simmonds furrowed his brow. “KATO had to know we'd catch on. We monitor computer activity, and you'd have no reason to be on a message board of any kind. We would have known you were a double agent.”

“They gave me a spoof server to go to first,” I said. “I put in the right
URL and it takes me to a site that masks my history. It was designed specifically for the IDA's computer system.”

Simmonds's eyes darkened. “How does KATO know our computer system?”

I shook my head. “I don't know. I don't think they have anyone else in here. They would have told me if I had an ally and they wouldn't have been as desperate to get me in.”

Simmonds nodded, considering this. “Okay, I'll handle it.” He pushed the folder across the desk. “Here's what you'll tell them. You said they're looking for what we have on them, correct?” I nodded and flipped through the folder that contained all the details I'd need. “We obviously aren't going to turn all of that over, but we did come up with a mixture of information that's true, though slightly outdated, and information that's close to true, but more immediate. You need to type this information
exactly
as it's written. It's a code designed to give us a small window into their computer.”

“They'll be able to find that,” I said.

“They won't. It's too small to be detected. It only gives us a peek at the files they have open. We'll have people monitoring the window, and compiling the data that comes across.” He was direct and straightforward.

“They won't know it came from me, right?” I couldn't hide my sharp tone.

Simmonds's face softened. “They'll never know you did anything intentionally.”

“And the intel that's close to the truth—it's close enough that they won't think twice about it?”

He gave me a single headshake. “They'll think we're close enough
to be tracking them, but that they're still good enough to keep us guessing. And the truth is, aside from what you've told us, we really
don't
have too much recent intel that would interest them.”

“Okay,” I said, letting out a breath I hadn't meant to hold.

“I expect to meet with you after you get a response from them,” Simmonds said.

I nodded uneasily. If I slipped up once, KATO would know I'd turned. I would only be able to hide from them for so long and when they got a hold of me—

I shook the thoughts away. I could do this. I was
trained
to do this. And if I couldn't do this much I would never be able to stop their recruitment regime. “Yes, sir,” I said, feeling my confidence building.

“Good.” He shifted a little closer. “Now, we need to discuss your bigger mission. How are you planning on getting to KATO's recruitment operations?”

“I don't have enough to go on yet,” I said. “They either convince most recruits to join as kids or blackmail them by threatening their families. They've also gotten families to turn their kids over under the guise of serving their country. I haven't found anyone else who was kidnapped. They have recruitment centers at various points all over the world. I know rough locations of most, but I need to figure out the rest of the plan—mainly, what to do with the brainwashed agents who had their lives stolen and are now stealing other people's lives.”

Simmonds's expression was even, but I noticed a small spark in his eye. “If you can figure out those locations, I'll supply you with people to help with the infiltrations and provide a place for those agents to go.”

I eyed him uncertainly. I could tell this was about more than just
damaging KATO. And taking on that many enemy agents was asking a lot. “What's in it for you?”

He gave me a small smile. “Don't worry about it.” He read my uneasiness and tipped his head. “Jocelyn, you're trusting me with your life. If you plan on making this happen, you're going to have to trust me with this too.”

I bit my lip and conceded a nod.

“All right, then,” he said after a moment. “You have a way you can get to a computer to make your contact?”

“I'll come up with something,” I said, smiling. “Got to pretend I'm a double agent, right?”

Simmonds nodded gravely. “Be careful. If any of our agents catch you—”

“They'll think I have a mystery game hobby,” I said, though even I didn't believe myself. I dropped my smile. “I'll be fine. I've been doing this a long time.”

 • • • 

I was more anxious than I was expecting to be the night before my first KATO contact and I couldn't relax enough to fall asleep. My mind came floating back to my parents, which it did a lot when I didn't have something else to distract me. I had so many questions. Some of which I didn't think that much about until I'd gotten to the IDA. Were they good agents? What were their strengths? Did my dad ever try to find me? Was I like them at all?

The later it got, the more questions I had and the more restless I felt. By one in the morning, I found myself pacing the room. I had to do something—anything. I couldn't stay suffocated in this room all night. I was going to get answers.

I had located the IDA's archives room in the lower level of the Operations Building a few days earlier. It housed a copy of every mission and personnel file in the IDA's system. I hadn't considered investigating further until that moment.

I crept across the courtyard. It was a new moon, which made it practically pitch-black out. I tugged on the door, and wasn't surprised to find it was unlocked. With missions occurring all over the world, I had no doubt that the IDA had someone in this building at all times. I stood by the door, listening for anyone who might be coming down the hall. Simmonds didn't tell me any place was off-limits, but I knew most people wouldn't agree. When I was sure I was alone, I moved stealthily down the hallway pausing outside the archives door, which I was stunned to find open.

Once I saw the setup of the room, I understood why it was so easy to get inside. The room itself didn't have too much in it, with the exception of four computers that lined the back wall. Each computer required an agent security code for access. I was clearance level two, which got me access to the most basic files—past missions, basic personal details, employment records, and other trivial information. Most agents were level four, higher agents levels five or six, with seven and eight being reserved for the highest-ranking IDA members. I punched my security code into the closest computer and logged on.