Crossing the Line (28 page)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Aden looks at me and forces a smile. He’s
going to some shitty dinner his parents are attending, and mine too. It’s
awkward watching him get ready to go when I refuse to be anywhere near them. I
know he feels torn between having to attend and wanting to support me. I’d
never ask him not to go, he has business associates and friends there, so I
don’t want him to miss out. We’ve agreed to keep that part of his life separate
from us.

“Maybe I should cancel. I could pretend I’m
ill,” he says and straightens his dinner jacket. “We could order Chinese or
Indian.”

I shake my head. “It’s fine. Honestly.”

“Millie, you know I don’t want to socialise
with them, don’t you? I’m still so angry.” I know that. He’s barely spoken to
his parents and says work is awkward with his dad. I have a feeling he’s
looking to move, so they aren’t sharing offices too. I’ve found a rental page
on his laptop.

“I know, but you can’t cut them off. It’s
cool. I’m gonna start watching The Vampire Diaries.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Like the men on
there, do we?”

“Hmm, maybe.” I smile.

“Okay. I guess I should go then. I’ll be
back as soon as I can escape.” He leans over the sofa and presses his lips to
me my forehead. “I love you, baby.”

“Love you too.”

I watch him leave and wish he could just
tell them all to go to hell and stay here. I have to think about him, though.
It would be too selfish of me to ask him to do that. He needs to mingle with
all those rich, influential types – arseholes as I like to call them.

Sitting back and flicking the TV on, I’m
left feeling a little deflated. Is this how it’s going to be from now on? He’ll
go out to events and dinners, and I’ll wait at home until he gets back. I can’t
be that woman; I’ve been working my whole life to avoid the thing I’m already
becoming. The thought makes me sick. I have too much self-respect to be that
person. But what does my self-respect mean for me and Aden?

I groan in frustration and grab my phone,
needing Will’s opinion. He’ll make me see things more clearly, I hope. “Will,”
I say as he answers. “I need your help.”

“You’re beyond mine or anyone else’s help.”

“Funny but now is not the time. Me and Aden
are too different. Before all the shit with my parents, we could share that
life, to a certain extent anyway. I don’t know what to do. We’re going to end
up making each other miserable.”

“You don’t know that, Millie.”

I huff. “Actually I do. The only reason I
started going to stupid dinners, unless my parents hosted it, is because he
asked me to because he said it was important to him. I doubt he’s suddenly
stopped wanting my support. What he wants from me I can’t give him anymore.”

“Come on, I’ve seen you two together. I
really doubt all he wants from you is a dinner date.”

Will isn’t getting it. It wasn’t just being
a dinner date; it was having his girlfriend behind him. I’d want him to support
me in whatever I chose to do so of course he’ll want the same.

“Look if you really don’t think you can
work through this now you need to end it.” His words hit me like a ton of
bricks. That’s what I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about.

Breaking up with Aden isn’t what I want, at
all. But what if he ends up hating me because I can’t put aside my family’s
stab-you-right-in-the-back-with-a-fucking-samurai-sword betrayal. Which he
will.

Couples are supposed to share things,
especially the big things in their lives. You do things you don’t want to do
because you want to support the person you love. I should be doing that for
Aden, and if it didn’t feel like I’m being punched in the heart repeatedly
every time I even think about my parents – let alone see them –
then I’d be right there with him.

“Still not spoken to the parents?” he asks.

“No, and they’ve not tried to call me
either. Oliver’s said they won’t even talk about what’s happened, which doesn’t
surprise me at all.” I rub my forehead and close my eyes. That’s how much they
care about me; they’ve not even called to see if I’m okay. “I don’t want to
lose Aden,” I whisper.

“I know you don’t, but you’re an incredibly
strong woman, Millie, and however much you love him I know you’ll do what’s
best for you both. I can’t make that decision for you, though.”

“Why not? I wish someone will just tell me
what to do.” I stop and want to hit myself. I have never said that before, I’ve
never even thought it. What the hell have I become? I don’t want to be one of
those girls that fall in love and let their morals and beliefs fly out of the
window.

“Amelie…”

“Yeah I just heard it too. I guess this is
a conversation I should be having with Aden. Anyway, I’ll let you go since you
have a date tonight. Be careful.”

“Hey what makes you think I have a date?”

“It’s Friday.”

He chuckles. “Fair point. Call me tomorrow
and you know I’m here for you, whenever you need me. I don’t care if I’m on a
date, you call, alright?”

“Yes, thank you. Bye, Will.”

I hang up and walk to the kitchen to get a
vodka and lemonade. The alcohol might calm me down a bit so I can focus on
figuring out what I’m going to do. Before Aden everything was clear. I wasn’t
supposed to find anyone before I’d properly found myself.

Just as I’m about to drift off, I feel the
bed dip and then Aden’s aftershave fills my lungs. His arms snake around my
body and his lips press to the side of my head.

“You’re late,” I mumble.

He kisses me again. “I couldn’t get away,
sorry. I was speaking to Daniel Sheldon; he owns a bunch of venues in the UK
and America. You heard of him?”

I shrug lazily. “Dunno. Maybe.” I’m tired.
I barely know who I am when I’m half asleep.

“Well we’re going to talk about using his
venues in America.” He chuckles. “Sleep, babe. I can see that I’m not getting
anything sensible out of you tonight. I love you, Millie.”

His words send a shiver of desire through
my body, and I’m no longer tired. Well I am I just want him more than sleep
right now. I roll over and my warm skin presses against his cool naked body. I
gulp and trail my hand down the centre of his chest and through the tuft of
hair just below his belly. Even in the darkness I see the lust in his eyes and
smirk on his face.

“Missed me have you?” he whispers huskily
making my stomach squirm.

“Yes,” I reply and circle his erection with
my hand, squeezing gently. When we’re like this there is no distance, and we’re
not worlds apart. “It would appear that you’ve missed me too.”

“I have,” he whispers, gripping my hair at
the back of my head and moaning breathlessly as I pump my hand. “Amelie, I’ve
been thinking about you all night, so please sit on me before you’re left
disappointed.”

I sit up. “Wow, just what every girl wants
to hear.”

He chuckles and reaches over to the bedside
table to get a condom. “I’m being honest, I want to be inside you and I don’t
want to wait. Contrary to popular belief, or what you read, men do need a break
after blowing their load, unless they’re on Viagra.”

I sigh. “And here I was hoping I was in
some cheesy porno about to get fucked all night long.”

“Oh you are, but I’ll need about ten
between,” he replies and slides a condom on.

“Who said romance is dead…”

“Two seconds ago you wanted to be in a
cheesy porno and now you want romance?”

“No,” I say and push him down on the bed,
straddling him. “What I want is for you to be inside me, all night – with
ten minute breaks, apparently.”

He laughs and lays right back with his
hands resting under his head. “Fuck me then, beautiful.” Yeah, tonight
definitely isn’t a night for romance.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I wake to an empty bed. It’s only just
quarter past nine in the morning. Aden,” I call. “It’s still early.” Getting
out of bed isn’t an option. I’m too comfortable and too warm. Plus I think I’ve
still got that post sex glow.

His head pops around the door making me
jump. “I’ve got that golf thing.” Turning his nose up, he steps into the room.
“I told you, remember?”

Did he tell me? Probably. “Right. Why
again?”

“Believe me, I’d rather spend the day in
bed with you.”

I shrug one shoulder, tugging the cover up
to hide my cleavage. “No worries. We can spend all evening in bed.”

“That
definitely
sounds like a plan.” He sits on the bed, making no attempt to make his perv
discrete; his eyes are fixed on the top of my chest. “I love your messy
bed hair,” he says when he finally looks up. Great, I bet I look like I’ve been
dragged through a hedge backwards. “There’s coffee in the pot. I would’ve made
you one, but I thought you’d sleep longer.”

“Oh, I’ll be going back to sleep.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Have a good
lay in then. Love you.” Before I can reply he kisses me, pushing me back, so
I’m laying flat on my back again. I want him to get under the covers and run
that tongue all over my body. “Hopefully I won’t be too long.”

He stands, leaving me hot and bothered. I
groan. “You’re really leaving?”

“Yes, you sex pest. See you later.”

I wait all day and the longer I wait the
more I hate myself. Being the person that hangs around for her man to come home
is what I’ve tried so hard to avoid. Yet here I am, again. So much has changed
in such a short space of time that I feel dizzy. We used to spend most of our
free time – and our work time actually – all over each other, but
now I can barely pin him down.

Pushing myself off Aden’s sofa is such an
effort that I actually groan like a little old lady. I just want to curl up, go
to sleep, and then when I wake I want everything be back to normal. Why
couldn’t that happen? Life is a real bitch sometimes.

Aden doesn’t even like golf. I don’t like
him doing something he doesn’t enjoy when he could be doing me. This situation
sucks. I wish his business was at a place where he could afford to tell
everyone to fuck off.

I pace the living room, walking behind the
wall and back around. I’m pacing as I wait for a man. The only man I’ve ever
paced for before is Father Christmas as I always ended up falling asleep before
the staff put the presents under the damn tree.

The front door clicks open, and I feel like
an old wife ready to batter her husband with a broom for coming home late and
drunk. Aden isn’t drunk, though. He smiles as he walks into the living room
– like my dad had a thousand times when I was growing up. I freeze,
terrified as I realise I’m my mother.

No, I won’t be her. I gulp. “Aden, I can’t
do this anymore.”

His face falls, and I want to punch myself
for being the reason he looks like that. “Do what?”

“Everything’s changed. It’s all so
different now. You know it is too.” He can’t change his life now, he wants
it, but I can. “I love you so much, I think too much, but this can’t work.”

He doesn’t move. Is he broken? His
expression is the same – like I’ve just killed his puppy. I need him to
move, to shout, to do something.

My heart is being shredded, but I know it’s
the right thing to do, we’ll only end up resenting each other, and I couldn’t
stand that. I would resent him every time he played nice with those people and
he would resent me for never attending anything with him. I’d rather we part
loving each other than hating each other.

“Aden, say something,” I whisper, blinking
back the tears that I know I can’t hold back for long. “Please.”

“What do you want me to say?” And it’s
officially over. I don’t want to tell him what to do or say. I want him to tell
me what he’s thinking and feeling. “I know things have changed, Amelie, but I
didn’t think you would give up so easily.”

“Easy? You think this is easy for me? Aden,
this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to fucking do. I don’t want to, but you
know we can’t go on like this. We’re living in different worlds. It’s not
enough to just have a little part of each other’s lives. That’s not how it
works. I don’t want to be in a part-time relationship. I want to share
everything with you.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do.
You’re telling me you can’t be part of something I can’t get out of. Or are you
telling me to get out of it too?”

“I’m not telling you to do anything. I
don’t expect you to do anything. Aden, you’ve worked so hard for what you have,
and I will never ask you to give that up. I will never be cool with my family
again, but you have to be.”

“Just like that? Shit, Millie, this is so
sudden. I didn’t even know you felt like this.”

“Come on, you know things have been off
lately and you know I’m right, don’t you?”

“So that’s it, we’re ex now?”

Hearing him say that hurts like hell. I dig
my nails into the palms of my hands. “What else can we do? You won’t be happy
going to events and things alone, never sharing that part of your life with me.
I don’t want you to end up resenting me.” He looks on silently, and I know he’s
taking it all in. And agreeing with me?

“I don’t want to lose you.”

My eyes fill with tears again, and there’s
no stopping them, they spill down my cheeks. I make no attempt to brush them
away. His words are like a knife piercing slowly through my heart. “I don’t
want to lose you either, but I’d rather end it now than drag it out. I’ve seen
relationships turn nasty and the thought of you hating me is too much.”

“I could never hate you,” he whispers.

“You say that now but things aren’t that
bad yet. If we reach that point, there’s no going back. This way at least we
have a chance of something. Friends eventually, I don’t know. I want to be able
to see you, and for you to talk to me. I don’t want you to turn away from me.”

He gulps and runs his hands over his face.
We both know this was coming, neither of us are surprised it’s ending. When he looks
back up I see tears in his eyes. No. He might as well have punched me. “Is
there anything we can do?”

There is. If he leaves that life behind
too, but I’ll never say that to him. I gulp through the heartbreak. “No.”

“So this is goodbye?” I nod my head as pain
rips through my body. What am I supposed to do now? Never seeing him in the
morning and laughing with him until I can barely breathe. Aden leans over and
kisses me. I savour the moment; paying extra attention to how soft his lips
feel against mine and how my heart races at his touch.

He pulls away first, and a fresh round of
tears spill from my eyes. “I love you,” he whispers and walks out. He’s left
his own house. I watch numbly as he walks out of my life. My heart shatters and
I collapse on the sofa.