Crossing the Barrier (11 page)

“His kissing Andrea doesn’t mean anything, Lily. Stop torturing yourself and ask him how his evening was. If you do, you’ll know if he’s really dating her or if it’s all in Zoe’s head,” Sandra said seriously.

Lily nodded.

“Now, before you go, what do I get you for lunch?” Sandra asked with a grin.

For the last few days, they had eaten lunch sitting in the lobby, where Lily found a measure of normalcy. They had tried the band hall, but it was nothing like during band practice. It had been too overwhelming, and Lily had been exhausted halfway through lunch.

“BLT?”

“Why did I even ask?” Sandra said, rolling her eyes.

They had very few moments to spare when they arrived at Lily’s classroom. Sandra quickly ran down the corridor, and Lily took a deep breath before walking inside, hoping to get a seat by the windows.

Despite what Sandra had suggested, she didn’t want to talk to Malakai about his evening. She was afraid to find out the truth, and she didn’t know if she could handle the pain that would come with the confirmation.

As she walked into the classroom, she saw the only places available were the desk she usually sat at, right in front of Malakai, and the one right next to him. She made her way to her seat, trying her best not to look at him. And despite her not wanting to talk to him, she felt the warm glow she had come to associate with his presence.

“Hi,” he said, putting his book down.

He felt hopeful and worried.

“Hi,” she said, keeping her attention on removing the books from her bag and putting them on the desk before taking her seat.

She didn’t turn around to look at him. It was childish, she knew, but she didn’t know if she could look at him without breaking down.

“How was your evening?” he asked, gently touching her back.

The same feeling of belonging caressed her mind, and she closed her eyes to fight off the tears. She had seen him kiss another girl last night. She didn’t belong with him; he belonged with someone else.

Too quickly, he removed his hand but worry was still pouring from him. Why was he so worried if he didn’t have anything to hide? She had seen it too many times before: boyfriends lying to their girlfriends about another girl, boyfriends with something to hide.

But he couldn’t lie to her; she would know.

Slowly, she turned around and looked at him. His green eyes met hers, and she felt like crying even more. Why couldn’t he like her?

“Fine,” she said without enthusiasm. “Yours?”

“Well, unexpected,” he answered, scratching the back of his head.

“Oh,” she said.

Wes chose that moment to walk into the classroom and dropped onto the chair next to Malakai. Lily quickly turned around, retrieved one of the books from her pile, and opened it.

“Dude, that girl really likes you,” Wes said.

Lily closed her eyes to will the pain away. Behind her, she felt Malakai’s annoyance.

Before Malakai responded, however, the bell rang, and the teacher called for their attention, leaving Lily as hurt as when she had walked in.

Chapter Twenty

LILY

This time of
the week was exactly why Lily loved the marching band so much. They had just finished the pep rally and were now being hauled in uncomfortable yellow buses to their official off-campus football field for the first game of the season. Everybody was in high spirits, and an intense sense of euphoria floated around the bus. All of it made Lily headache free and light-headed with excitement. In fact, she wondered if getting drunk felt that way.

Thankfully, Sandra, sitting next to her, touched her leg, dampening that feeling some and allowing Lily to function without making a complete fool of herself. But Sandra was also wired with anticipation mixed with worry.

“You think they’ll win?” Sandra asked for the twelfth time.

“Of course,” Lily said, laughing. “We are Warriors.”

“We are Warriors!” someone shouted in front of her.

“Warriors!” the occupants of the bus repeated.

Lily and Sandra laughed.

“I like this feeling,” Lily said, bouncing off the seat.

“Yeah, I bet you do. You look high.”

“Well, I don’t know how ‘high’ feels, but I’m pretty giddy. I never knew it was this intense when I had my shields. It’s great. I may get used to this. I hope it’ll be the same at the game.”

“I wish I could feel it.”

“Oh, but you do…well, mixed with worries. David?”

“I know he’s big and good and all, but I’m still scared he’ll get hurt,” Sandra said, losing her smile.

“Don’t let him know that,” Lily said with a wince. “I don’t think he’d appreciate it. I think he likes to think of himself as invincible.”

“He’s grown up to be pretty awesome, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he has. You think Malakai will be okay?” she whispered into her friend’s ear.

The giddiness made her almost forget about Malakai or at least dampened the insecurity she felt toward him but not quite. The pull was still there despite the endorphins going through her system.

“Yeah, I bet he’ll do all right,” Sandra answered with a chuckle.

Fifteen minutes later, they were at the stadium and getting out of the buses. The sense of euphoria, which had died down some during the drive, picked up again as they got ready to march into the stadium for the first time that year. Just like the previous year, they were waiting on the color guards to get their act together.

“What a bunch of princesses,” Sandra said, rolling her eyes.

“Be nice now,” Lily said, laughing.

The two of them were again standing next to each other, their shoulders touching.

“If I step away, will you be okay?” Sandra asked, concerned.

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Okay.”

Sandra took a step away, her gaze intently on Lily. The emotions that washed over Lily were a mix of anticipation and intense excitement, and it felt like a wave of warm water. At first, Lily’s vision clouded around the edges, and everything in the middle appeared dazzling. After blinking a few times, her vision cleared enough for her to see, and she laughed. The feeling was indescribable and so worth it she saw herself getting addicted to it.

“And?”

“It’s awesome,” she said, laughing. “Everything looks so bright. I wish school was like that.”

“Is she high?” a passing baritone asked Sandra.

“On euphoria, if that’s at all possible,” Sandra answered with a chuckle.

The guy grinned, then walked away.

“Okay, if you think you’ll start stumbling or something, let me know,” Sandra said, becoming serious and concerned.

“Not a chance!” Lily couldn’t help it; she giggled like a six-year-old.

The brightness was slowly fading, but the feeling remained, and it was so, so good. She wondered if adrenaline junkies felt that way when they were about to do something so incredibly dangerous or stupid.

Sandra grinned at her and took her place in the rank next to her.

Finally, the marching beat began, and they entered the stadium. This was one of Lily’s favorite moments with the band. This was the only time when she wished she had played drum instead of clarinet as it looked like so much fun to play the marching beat. Once they were all seated, the stands were rapidly filling up, and the euphoria kept on increasing, making Lily smile to the point her cheeks hurt.

“Lily Morgan!” someone called behind her.

She turned around; a trombonist was pointing behind him. At the top of the section, in the alley, stood Charlie, waving at her.

“Uncle Charlie,” she said with a huge smile.

She put her clarinet down and climbed each level through the band, without bothering to go to the end of the row and take the stairs. Some of them protested a little but let her pass. After all, she was a first chair and a good one, and most of them liked her.

“Uncle Charlie,” she called, giggling, as she got to the top of the row.

“Kiddo, are you drunk?” he asked, worried.

“No,” she answered with another giggle. “Euphoria, no shields, remember?” she whispered into his ear, then giggled again. “It’s making me giddy.”

“I can see that,” Charlie said, laughing. “Will you be okay, though?”

“Yeah, I think so. If it stays this way, I’m going to have a
really
good
time,” she said, giggling yet another time.

“Well, if you need anything, I’ll be right here, sitting in the CC section, okay?”

“I’m glad you came, Charlie,” Lily said with a sincere smile.

“You know I’ll come as often as I can, right?”

Lily heard in her mind what was not said because Charlie had told her so many times before. Had her father still been alive, he would have attended every event she was participating in. Now that he was no longer with them, Charlie wanted to be there as much as his workload allowed and that meant attending the games, parades, and competitions.

“I’m glad you came anyway,” she repeated.

“Okay,” Charlie said with a chuckle. “Now, I think you need to go back. I see the other football team coming out, and it’ll be our time soon.”

“See you after the game?”

“Okay.”

Lily descended the row of benches and took her position next to Sandra just in time to play the fight song for the players.

It took every ounce of restraint Lily could muster for her not to put down her clarinet and shout Malakai’s name at the top of her lungs.

Chapter Twenty-One

MALAKAI

Malakai had been
looking forward to the first game of the season since the end of the season the previous year. His hands were now shaking so hard and were so sweaty under his gloves he didn’t know how he would manage to catch the ball. It was also the first time the sergeant attended the first game of the season, and knowing he was in the stands compounded Malakai’s nervousness.

Five minutes into the game, Malakai’s nerves and his unresolved conversation with his father concerning the military academies were getting the best of him, something that hadn’t happened in two years. He shook his head, disgusted with himself and mortified he had dropped the last pass and had a false start.

He was letting his team down. He was letting the crowd down.

Lily…

He hoped against hope no one from the universities was present as he feared the word of his abysmal performance would get out, and South Texas would reconsider their offer.

He had to get a grip and fast.

Reaching the sideline, he looked at the rest of the team. Luis, one of the other wide receivers, was stomping toward him like a bull that had been jabbed with an electric prod.

“Dude, your head, in the game,” Luis yelled, grabbing his face mask and shaking Malakai’s head firmly three times. “You’re not listening. You went for the wrong play. What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“The sergeant’s in the crowd,” Malakai mumbled, doubting Luis heard him or understood what he meant.

“Why should you care?” Luis yelled. “The field is the field. The crowd is the crowd. He’s a face among hundreds. Stop focusing on the crowd and focus on the game,” he added, knocking on the side of Malakai’s helmet, hard.

Malakai looked at Luis, grateful he had someone to drill some sense into him.

“Yeah. Okay,” Malakai said. “Remind me if I forget, will you?”

“Yes, I will,” Luis said, punching down on Malakai’s shoulder pads with both fists. “Now stop being an idiot. We don’t need you to turn into a
chica
.”

They had scored twenty-one points by the end of the first quarter while the other team had scored fourteen. The next quarter, they scored seven and so did the other team. Halftime was stressful in the locker room, to say the least. They were all eager to win, and they were having a run for their money.

“Dude, your head still in the game?” Luis asked, walking to him.

“Yeah. Hard to concentrate some, however. I mean, my dad’s here. That doesn’t happen often.”

Luis gave a firm and serious nod. While they didn’t know his family situation, his teammates had figured out long ago they had never seen his mother, and his father showed up only rarely. David was the only one Malakai had told, and he wouldn’t have if they hadn’t spent so much time together during the summer.

“We can do this, Malakai,” Luis said fervently, shaking his fist to emphasize his point. “We
have
to do this.”

Malakai gave him a firm nod, then they were ready to go back to the field.

By the end of the game, they had won by twenty-one points, and Malakai was floating on a cloud as he made his way to stand in front of the waiting band with the rest of the team.

All throughout the school song, Malakai searched for Lily. Now that he had won and could concentrate on something else, she was all he thought about. He wanted to see her; he wanted her to be proud of him. But he couldn’t find her. The band members all looked so alike in their uniforms, and she was so small. He would have to ask David where she was.