Crimson Sunrise (27 page)

“No.” He took a deep breath and lifted his hand, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His deep blue eyes were calm and tranquil. “I’m not mad.”

“But I thought you didn’t want...this,” I said quietly and drank the last of the orange juice.

“I didn’t think I did,” he confessed with a rueful smile.

“But now you do?” I nibbled on the toast before biting down and tasting the creamy butter.

“I do,” he said simply.

Before I knew it, the tray was clean, and nothing was left. I blinked twice when I looked down, ensuring I wasn’t seeing things.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him, eyes darting up and then back down. I couldn’t shake the anxiety and nervousness that I hadn’t experienced since our first days together.

He took the tray from my lap, lowered it to the ground, and kicked it aside. Then he returned to the bed, leaned across me, and braced his weight on the large hands he placed on either side of my body.

“It’s going to be all right, beautiful. I know everything seems overwhelming, but I’ll be here to see you through. I promise.”

His blue eyes met mine, deep and piercing as he leaned forward. I closed my eyes and relaxed into him. His lips were soft, opening as we came together. His tongue brushed my mouth while his hand came around to twine in the hair along my neck.

I groaned, shoving my hands into his hair and tugging him to me. The smell of wood and pine was so intense I couldn’t think. It slammed into me with a force I’d never experienced and I was burying my fingers into his scalp, shoving my body roughly into his.

Caleb didn’t need further invitation, pressing against me. I threaded my fingers in the silken strands, encouraging him, enticing him. An odd vibration rushed through my muscles, enveloping me in heat that made it hard to breathe. It grew and intensified, taking my body over.

A deep, vibrating hum rumbled inside my head, and Caleb responded to it, growling against my lips and using his left arm to pull me across his body. I kicked my legs free of the blanket and released his lips, shifting my body. A throaty rumble escaped my lips, and I realized the vibrating hum was coming from me.

I was growling.

I began pushing him away, alarm penetrating the heavy fog of desire. The other part of me rebelled, brushing against my skin. The wolf was primal, wanting her mate so badly she clawed under muscle and pushed against bone. I gasped at the intensity, the merging of emotions and body, the discord between two separate entities who shared one space.

“I can’t stop it...” I panted, speaking in a voice that was not mine. The vocal cords were denser, making me sound huskier. Everything in my line of sight seemed to bleed, covered in a red mist.

“Take deep breaths.” Caleb cradled my face inside his comforting hands.

At first, I couldn’t. My breathing was too heavy and the panic increased. I clawed at his hands, gripping them tightly as he held my face.

“You can do this,” Caleb said firmly. “Calm down...that’s it...calm down.”

I closed my eyes, pulling jagged breaths into my nose before releasing a steady exhale through my mouth. The wolf fought me, angry at being dissuaded, determined now more than ever to break free. The prickles that spread over my skin burned, stinging like needles. I kept my focus and listened as Caleb encouraged me to take it easy, his voice soothing and serene.

Slowly, the frustration and pent up aggression receded, fading into the background. I waited several seconds before I opened my eyes. The red haze was gone, leaving my vision clear and unhindered. I lifted my head and met Caleb’s gaze.

“See.” He leaned forward to plant a kiss on my nose. “We’ll get through this. Don’t be afraid.”

“Why does that happen?” I relaxed when my normal voice asked the question.

“You’ll have to shift soon,” he said calmly, any tension carefully constrained. “The wolf will let you run the show, but only if you respect her needs as well. If you fight this, so will she. You have to find a balance.”

Moving away from his grasp, I looked at the wall and tried to keep my composure. I had always known I would have to shift. Witnessing Caleb, Sarah, and Derek in the field had made it seem so romantic, beautiful even. They were the most graceful things I had ever seen, full of strength, vitality, and life. But it wouldn’t be the same for me, not at first. I had been bitten, not born.

“Don’t keep me out, talk to me.” Caleb’s hand wound around my neck, forcing me to look at him.

I found myself incredibly relieved that he couldn’t slip into my mind as Trent could. So far he was handling this surprisingly well. He seemed to accept that this was how things were meant to be. But if he knew about my fears, that could change.

“Talk to me,” he said again, running his fingers in a pacifying motion along the sensitive spot behind my ear, lifting his right hand to push stray strands of hair away from my face.

I gave him a weak smile. “I’m nervous, that’s all.”

He frowned for the first time, forehead creasing and mouth forming into a straight line. His hands stilled, blue eyes darkening.

“You said you wanted this before. Has that changed?”

“No,” I said firmly, shaking my head as best I could inside his hands. I twisted free and pressed a kiss into his palm before I looked into his concerned eyes. “I want this. Things have just happened so quickly. I haven’t had time to adjust.”

His face didn’t change, if anything, his frown intensified.

“You’re going to have wrinkles if you keep that up.” I reached past his arms to touch his face and brush my fingers along the lines at his mouth.

The tension around his eyes ebbed and his lips curved into the smile I loved. His face moved closer, his mouth coming forward to brush the softest of kisses across my lips, before leaning back.

I looked down at myself. “I should probably get out of bed and go downstairs. Mom and Dad must be worried sick.”

“They’re fine.” He cleared his throat before adding, “They’ve been outside with Trent all morning.”

“How is he?” I asked, carefully averting my gaze.

“I don’t know,” Caleb answered softly. “He hasn’t spoken to me.”

“I should go see him.” I pushed aside the blankets, intent on climbing from the bed.

“Emma.” Caleb’s hand came out, pressing gently against my stomach, preventing any potential progress forward.

“What?” I settled back into the mattress.

He cleared his throat before his gaze met mine. “I have never questioned what you feel for him, even though I’ve always known something was there.” I rushed to explain but he stopped me before the first word passed my lips. “Let me finish.”

He waited until I closed my mouth and linked my hands together in my lap before he said, “He cared for you when I didn’t, and he brought me back to you. I’ll never forget that, and he will always have my gratitude. But you have to stop this, Emma. It’s not fair to him. I see the way he looks at you, and I know what it means, because I look at you in the same way.”

“He knows how I feel about you,” I offered lamely, staring down at my fingers.

The bed shifted as Caleb moved closer. His hand came over mine, the tanned skin so dark against the paleness of my own, stilling the movements.

“That doesn’t change how he feels.” His voice changed, becoming hoarse. “I know if our places were reversed—if you were with him instead of me—I wouldn’t be able to stand it. I remember how I felt watching you board the plane with him, and it killed me. That memory stayed with me the entire time you were gone.” He took a deep breath and finished, “You have to do the right thing. He deserves to be happy, and he can’t be as long as he stays here. You have to let him go.”

Tears made it impossible to see, and I didn’t look up as they came. But Caleb felt them as they cascaded down my cheeks and onto our interlocked fingers.

“You’re right,” I whispered brokenly, lifting a hand to swipe at the thin rivers dripping down my cheeks. “I’ll tell him he can go.”

“Are you sure this is what you want? That I’m who you want?”

My gaze flew up and met his. His irises were swirling, teal green strands inside deep blue indigo, and he was frowning. I brought my tear-stained hand to his face, running my fingers along the shadow of soft hair on his chin. Even now, he was the most breathtaking person I had ever seen. I knew I would never tire of touching him like this. Just as I knew I was where I always wanted to be.

Grasping his face firmly in my hand, I told him exactly that. “Never doubt that this is where I want to be, not ever. I will always want to be with you, no matter where you go, no matter what you do. I love you more than anyone or anything.”

My fingers wound around the back of his neck and I pulled him to me, leaning forward and pressing my lips to the softness of his.

I didn’t pull away, only breaking our kiss to talk. “I want you, I will always want you. That day at the airport, I felt as if I was breaking in two, leaving my heart behind. I wasn’t complete until I saw you again, Caleb,” I whispered, moving my lips along his jaw and breathing into his ear. “I am not whole without you.”

His arms came around my waist, drawing me into his arms, and I didn’t resist the bestial side of me that demanded I go to him. His strong hands hiked me across his lap and I went there willingly, wrapping my legs around his waist as my arms came around his shoulders.

“I need you so badly.” He growled against my lips, opened his mouth, and sent his tongue inside the dark cavern, until we were kissing deeply.

He flipped us over so that I rested on my back, with his body covering me like a second skin. I couldn’t think, determined to be with him after being apart for such a long time. I grasped at his shoulders, clawing at his shirt.

“Hurry,” I encouraged him, pulling at the thin cotton.

His hands fumbled at the waist of his jeans and I helped, feeling them give way and slide down. His hands came to my thighs and I unlocked my legs, allowing him to slide off the only barrier that remained between us. He threw the underwear onto the floor and moved against me, testing my readiness before joining us together in a smooth thrust that buried him within my body completely.

It had been too long since we’d been together, well over a week, but I remembered how wonderful he felt. His weight pressing into me was as erotic as it had always been, centering me, reminding me that we were made for each other. We couldn’t have been closer as we moved together, our bodies in perfect harmony.

“Caleb.” I exhaled his name, a breathy promise.

That pinnacle came without warning, blocking out everything, including the new part of me under the surface. My soft cries of release were muffled by Caleb’s mouth as he kissed me, his hands moving along my face and jaw, caressing and retreating. When he moved away, I lifted my eyes. The pools of blue that shifted and swirled in a multitude of color were focused on my face.

He buried his chin into my neck as he pressed against my body, moving quickly. He slid in and out, forcing me to take him, to surrender completely.

“You feel so good,” he groaned, pumping his hips and rolling them in a sensuous circle, reaching the apex himself.

When he came, his shoulders shuddered under my fingers, his body shaking. He collapsed on top of me, breathing hard against my throat.

“I love you.” I placed my lips against his neck and tasted his salty skin. “You are everything to me.”

He lifted away, balancing himself on his elbows. I smiled at the necklace dangling between us, my mother’s ring hanging from the chain around his neck just as I’d left it.

“I love you.” He dipped his head to press a kiss to my nose.

Wrapping my arms around his waist and sighing contentedly, I burrowed my face into his chest and remained as close to him as possible, unwilling to ever let him go.

Chapter 24—Quinn

I pulled a sweatshirt over my head, listening as Caleb chuckled softly at my futile struggles from the bed. A surge of energy trickled over my skin, so slight I barely noticed it. I pushed my face through the hole in the shirt and turned, wavy hair flying wildly across my shoulders.

I walked to the window and stared outside, my vision searching as far as my eyes would allow, looking for something although I was unsure of what it was. The strange sensation rolled through me again, and I pushed aside the curtain.

“What’s wrong?” Caleb rose to his feet and walked to me.

“I’m not sure.” Frowning, I strode to the door and pulled it open. The noises from downstairs had stopped. Chris and Aidan were whispering in hushed tones.

I shuffled down the hallway with Caleb close behind and went downstairs. Chris was standing next to the newly created doorframe. The glass had been removed and temporarily replaced with two-by-fours, the brown wood stark against the bone colored walls. Aidan was next to him, clutching a hammer inside one of his enormous hands.

As we neared, Aidan turned his buzzed head, his light blue eyes focusing on me as his gargantuan body followed suit. His nose flared and his brows came together before he smiled, hiked his chin at me, and returned his attention to the yard.

Caleb stepped past them and through the door, stopping in the center of the porch. I took my time, walking behind him, and tentatively stopped by his side.

“I feel it, but I can’t smell it,” Caleb growled.

I looked up at him before I folded my arms and peered into the distance. I could see as far as the gate, and that was at least a half a mile away. I used my sight to skim over the cows in the distance, finding nothing.

“It’s not like the fucker who showed up here before,” Aidan snarled, striding to Caleb’s free side, and lifted his head, scenting the air. “He smelled sweet, like sugary cotton candy.”

“No.” Caleb mirrored Aidan’s actions, breathing in deeply. “I don’t smell anything but myself.”

“Maybe you should take a shower,” I joked, flaring my own nose and getting more than I bargained for. Multiple smells assailed me and I tried to sort through the various scents of trees, ice, water, gravel, rubber, sawdust, and metal. I rubbed my nose with the back of my hand, blowing air out of the nostrils to clear the passages.