“Emma, are you out here?”
The trance was broken.
Shaking my head clear, I stood upright and stared at the field mouse several feet away. My fixation on Mother Nature was beginning to freak me out. I had always enjoyed the great outdoors, but it was getting out of hand, bordering on creepy.
“Emma,” Caleb repeated impatiently, his heavy footsteps discernable just outside the expanse of trees.
“I’m here,” I called out and strode away from the campsite, toward the sound of his voice.
His dark head bobbed along the trees until he came into view. He lifted his chin and a wide grin spread across his face. He’d shaved while he was inside, his beautiful visage revealed for the world to see. He crinkled his eyebrows at me curiously.
“What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”
“You don’t get cold,” I reminded him. “And it’s not
that
cold in comparison to the temperature inside the house. I had to get out before you and Trent ripped each other a new one.”
His grin warped into a scowl. “Don’t start.”
“What is the big deal?” My voice mirrored my agitation. The macho guy routine may have worked when he was winning me over, but now it was becoming ridiculous.
His answer came in the form of physical contact. He crossed the remaining distance between us and pressed his body against me. Strong arms came around my shoulders and I sagged into the gratifying heat of his body. He felt as balmy as a summer day despite the cold winter air, and he was only wearing a measly T-shirt and jeans.
“That’s cheating, you know,” I muttered. Burrowing closer, I pressed my cheek against his chest, feeling the rhythmic beating of his heart. “I never took you for a manipulator.”
He chuckled, squeezed my shoulders, and started rocking our bodies from side to side. His chin nestled against the top of my head and I groaned in bliss. I loved it when held me like this.
“You’ll have to find it in yourself to forgive me.” His southern tenor deepened, the words causing his chest to rumble against my ear. “Knowing I almost lost you has brought out the worst in me.”
My words were low and soft. “With everything you’ve seen this week, I understand.”
“I’ll remember you said that.”
The powerful muscles beneath my face tensed and he swiveled his head around. I listened closely, trying to figure out what Caleb had heard. After a moment I made out Derek’s voice in the distance, which was immediately followed by Sarah’s.
“I think we should get the hell out of Dodge,” Caleb warned, speaking in hushed tones so his words wouldn’t carry. “They’re having a row.”
“Sarah’s been acting awful strange lately.” I followed his lead, whispering against his chest.
“I can imagine,” he grumbled.
“You can imagine what?” I asked, peering up to see his face.
“You’re going to have to talk to Sarah about that. It’s not my place to say.” He spoke in the tone he always adopted when he didn’t want to leave any room for argument.
“You know, Sarah isn’t the only one I’m going to have to talk to.” I moved out of his warm embrace and folded my arms over my chest, glaring at him. “We need to have a little talk of our own.”
“About?” He seemed completely unfazed by my statement, which only made me angrier.
“Your daddy complex,” I said irritably, forcing myself to see past the beautiful face that always managed to disarm me. “When things are going great, you treat me as an equal. When you want to keep me from learning something, you treat me like a child.”
“I do
not
treat you like a child.”
“Yes,” I snapped, “you do.” He tried to talk and I held up my hand. “At first it was fine. I know I’m still a small fry in the larger scheme of things. But if everyone expects me to adapt to all of these changes seamlessly,
like an adult
, then they’d damned well better give me the courtesy of treating me that way all of the time. That includes you.”
“Wanting to protect you and treating you like a child isn’t the same thing.” His dark blue eyes flashed for a moment in agitation, the vivid ice blue that revealed his wolf appearing and retreating in the same instant.
“Protect me from what?” I gave him a confused and angry look. “You can’t stop what’s meant to happen. Don’t you think it’s wiser for me to know ahead of time what I’m getting involved in? I remember a time not so long ago when you said those exact words in regard to me.”
“What is this really about?” He didn’t back down. “You think I treat you like a child because I won’t tell you something that is Sarah’s right to divulge?”
“I’m tired of all the secrecy, the little things that go on between all of you that I’m not privy to. There is always something the three of you seem to know that I don’t.”
“I’m sorry, Emma,” he said and took a deep breath. His usually full lips thinned and he addressed me levelly. “There are some things that are not in my power to tell you. If you want to know, ask Sarah. Derek is my best friend and I will not betray his trust. This is something private between the two of them. He only came to me for advice as his beta.”
“Fine.” I snorted and started to stomp past him.
A large tanned hand surrounded my upper arm, the attached fingers gentle but firm. He spun me around, looming over me, and lowered his face to stare me in the eye. His irises were a kaleidoscope now, swirling from the pupil in a prismatic mixture of blue, green, and aqua.
“Don’t even think about going to Trent for comfort, beautiful.” He moved closer, brushing his large body against me. “You want to be an adult, behave like one.”
“Could your curb your jealousy for five fucking minutes?” I snarled, yanking my arm free, and almost staggered as I felt that bizarre red haze resurface.
We stood facing off. I was breathing heavily, rage growing, building, and coursing through my system. It was a new, unexplainable emotion that smothered everything else, drowning my senses.
“I think we all need couples counseling,” Derek interrupted as he and Sarah joined us. “Maybe if we go in together we can get a group discount.”
I didn’t immediately turn toward Derek’s voice, not even as I became fully aware that Derek and Sarah had witnessed our little deadlock. Normally I’d be embarrassed by the knowledge, but not now. I was too heated, too furious. Caleb’s eyes continued shifting colors, portraying his shoddy grip on his own emotions, but he stayed put, staring me down.
“Is everything okay?” Sarah inquired in her calm and levelheaded voice; a most welcome sound, all things considered.
“Obviously not,
dear
,” Derek quipped. “When they bitch louder than we do, it can’t be good.”
We didn’t get that loud. Did we? There was no way. Caleb and I never yelled at each other.
I blushed as I realized I couldn’t remember. I was too angry.
“Don’t worry, Em.” Derek smiled, lifted his chin in Sarah’s direction, and covered his ears. “Sarah’s a screecher too.”
“You’re such an asshole,” I snapped.
“Hey, hey, hey.” He lifted his hands and stepped back, his antagonizing smile intact. “I’m just trying to find common ground.”
“Why don’t you boys give us a minute?” Sarah stepped around Derek and started walking toward me.
“You don’t have to ask my ass twice.” Derek turned on his heel and strode away.
Caleb wasn’t as quick to leave. He stayed right where he was, studying me closely. Our gazes merged for several tense moments, neither of us willing to break the contact, until Sarah came between us.
“Let’s take a walk.” Sarah wrapped her arm inside mine and she pulled me along with her.
We didn’t speak for several minutes, strolling through the trees in silence. I could feel the tension rolling off of her.
“I know you’ve noticed the change in the way I have conducted myself lately,” she said, finally breaking the quiet. “And I’m sorry it caused you and Caleb to argue, I should have come to your sooner.” It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her why she didn’t, when she continued, “Do you remember when I explained males of our kind can tell when you’re ovulating?”
“Yes.” I glanced over, watching her tuck a thick dark strand of hair behind her ear.
“The smart thing to do is to be on some method of birth control, just to be safe.” She took in an unsteady breath. “I’ve been doing just that, especially considering our situation.”
“That makes sense,” I said, uncertain of where she was going with the conversation.
She stopped me short, spun around, and blurted, “I’m pregnant.”
“
You’re what
?”
“I’m pregnant. I’ve known for a couple of weeks.”
I stood there, my mind a tumbling mess. Should I congratulate her? Tell her I was sorry? Offer a celebratory hug? Or one of comfort? I was completely and utterly stupefied.
“Say something.” She watched me with an expectant expression.
“How do you feel about this? You always said you wanted children.”
“At first, I was happy. But after I came down from the initial high, reality sank in.”
“How does Derek feel?”
“He wants to get married,” she answered and looked away.
“Isn’t that a
good
thing?” I touched her arm in a gesture of comfort.
“Of course it is.” She smiled, but sounded uncertain. “But our future isn’t ours to choose. Derek hasn’t bonded to me. Marriage won’t change that.”
“If there is one thing I have any experience with, it’s embracing what you have while you have it. You two love each other, so be together. Cross any flaming bridges when you come to them and say to hell with the consequences. You don’t know that you won’t bond. Worrying about what you can’t change will only keep the two of you apart. It’s obvious how you feel about each other.” I grinned as I pictured Sarah with a little girl who looked just like her. “Plus, you’ll be one hell of a mom, Sarah.”
She lifted her shoulders and stood straight. “I know you’re right. We can’t keep arguing over what hasn’t happened yet.”
“I’m right, huh?” I rolled my eyes as I remembered my conversation with Caleb. “Tell Caleb that.”
“We are all out of sorts right now. I think we’ll all be able to breathe easier when your parents arrive and we can get a better grasp of what we’re dealing with.”
“I hope you’re right. I don’t know how much longer I can take the tension.”
“Same here.” She peered up at the sky. “We should get back to the house. The temperature is dropping.”
Sarah turned in the direction of the house and led the way. We exited the trees arm in arm. When the sunlight hit us, I sighed at the welcome warmth against my chilled nose and cheeks.
“Do you think it might snow?” I asked.
“I think so,” she answered and moved in closer to share precious body heat. “It smells like it.”
“By the way.” I bumped her shoulder with mine. “Congratulations.”
She smiled in response, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
As we approached the house, I saw Caleb waiting with Derek. They were sitting on top of the wooden picnic table, legs braced on the seats, knees and combat boots spaced shoulder width apart. They both lifted their heads as we neared, staring at us with wary expressions.
Sarah giggled and leaned over to whisper, “They look as if they’re expecting the Spanish Inquisition.”
“It would serve them right,” I grumbled without anger, surprisingly tranquil.
“Yep,” Derek blurted to Caleb, nodding. “We’re fucked. Would you look at them? They’re thicker than thieves, those two. What do you think they’ve been planning?”
Caleb didn’t bother responding, using his potent gaze to send the message instead. He was still moody and irritable. A combination I didn’t know if I was properly equipped to deal with if my bad mood resurfaced.
After releasing my arm, Sarah walked over to Derek, chastised him under her breath, and punched him playfully in the arm. He pretended to be hurt, cradling the injured appendage as he let out a yelp. I watched them walk to the house hand in hand.
“Come here.” Caleb’s order was impossible to ignore, and I returned my attention to him. His face was no longer agitated or angry, instead he appeared incredibly drained. He closed the distance when I didn’t. He moved away from the table, sinewy muscles in his arms gathering and contorting.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, stopping just in front of me. He lifted his hands and grasped my arms. “I couldn’t tell you.”
“I’m sorry too.” Slumping forward was all it took. His arms came around my midsection and pulled me close. “I’ve been short tempered the last couple of days. It’s all the stress.”
His long fingers combed through my hair and I sighed, moved closer, and closed my eyes. It was so much better to make up with Caleb than it was to fight with him. My body fit perfectly against his, my cold skin soaking in his radiating warmth.
Something flickered in my peripheral vision and I lifted my head, gazing up. When I saw the source, my heart skipped a beat, and I met Caleb’s ecstatic grin with one of my own. Once upon a time I had dreamed of experiencing a snowy season of winter with Caleb. We were both unsure if it would ever happen, but we shared our hope for it, our intense longing to remain with each other from one year to the next.
I wasn’t sure if it was a message of some kind, but the realization that a shared wish was taking place between Caleb and I served as a reminder that no matter what, we were together, just as we had longed to be during the hot and humid summer months before. It also appeared that Sarah had ushered us back to the house just in time.
Huge ivory white snowflakes were falling from the sky.
Chapter 15—This One Thing
Caleb hadn’t lied when he told me I would love Tennessee in the winter. A thin white blanket of snow covered the barren grass. Just enough to create the illusion the house sat on a cloud cushion. With the gray hued sky, it was a breathtaking mixture. Several of the branches were coated in the shimmering white flakes as well, the small slivers shining like diamonds when the sun managed to filter through the overcast clouds.