Crimson (47 page)

“It’s a pity more men aren’t like you,” Clare murmured.

“You’re so sensual. You enjoy physical intimacy and affectionate contact as much as women do. I wish all men enjoyed their whole bodies, rather than just a little, wobbly bit of it.”

“I’ve always thought the most important sex organ is between the ears,” David said, kissing hers.

THURSDAY, 29 FEBRUARY 1968

On the last day of February, a suntanned Buzz New into London airport, wearing Bertha’s farewell gift a snappy white Capri pants suit. She felt energetic, almost girlish as she left the plane.

To her surprise, a ground hostess met her and took her to a VIP lounge, where Adam was waiting.

“Something’s happened to Elinor?”

Buzz turned white.

Gently Adam told her what had happened.

Buzz was out of the car almost before it rolled to a halt on the gravel forecourt. It was an unusually sunny day for the end of February, and cheerful nurses in scarlet cloaks wheeled or walked their patients slowly around the garden.

One nurse moved a wheelchair towards her, and Buzz suddenly realized with a shock that the cocooned creature within it was Elinor. She looked small, frail, and feeble; her face was dazed and vacant, as if she’d just been woken up and couldn’t quite remember where she was.

Buzz said, “Hello, Nell.” Elinor did not look up. In silence, Buzz listened to the nurse’s nonstop starling twitter.

“We’ve had a good morning, haven’t we, Mrs. O’Dare? … We watched the birds at the birdbath and we fed crumbs to them, didn’t we? … Lean forward a bit, dear you’ve pushed your cushion down again. There, that’s better, isn’t it? … Then we had a choccy biccy and the usual little argument about our nap.. Then we listened to a nice concert on

the radio, didn’t weT Slowly Elinor looked up and glared. Buzz felt tremulous hope. She said, “You seem a bit under the weather, Nell. Don’t worry, I’ll have you out of here in no time.” In Elinor’s over warm bedroom, Buzz peered at the temperature chart and medical instructions clipped to the foot of the metal bed. She frowned when she saw five different tranquillizers and sedatives listed: no wonder Nell looked bewildered and depressed. Buzz recalled Elinor’s swift rage and felt another glimmer of hope, but a thought occurred to her: If they insisted on treating Nell like a crazy person, she might actually end up like one.

Peering again at the list of medications, she started to say something to Elinor, then stopped short, remembering that Adam was in the room.

Buzz turned to him.

“I’ve a present for Elinor in my hand luggage. It’s in a red box. Would you mind getting it from the carT She turned back to Elinor and said in the rather loud, slow, and contrived voice that people use for the deaf, “I’ve brought you a surprise, Nell.”

As soon as the door closed behind Adam, she whispered, “What have they done to you, my girl?” Lying back on her pillows, Elinor slowly shook her head from side to side but said nothing.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” Buzz told her.

“I’ll just turn up, without warning. Until then don’t swallow them pills. Do you hear me, Nell?” She leaned forward and shook Elinor’s shoulders.

“Don’t swallow them drat ted pills! Hold lem under your tongue and play possum. Then spit ‘em into a handkerchief and hide it under the pillow.”

The door opened and Adam came in.

“Just straightening Nell’s pillows,” Buzz said airily.

As she and Adam left, Buzz turned back to see Elinor silently looking at the ceiling.

Buzz’s gift, a nacre box, lay ignored upon the bedside table; but even in the dull afternoon light, the shell surface

As their hired limousine purred back to Heathrow airport, Buzz asked, “Why didn’t you let me know she was ill? They had a radiotelephone thing on the Stella Polaris.”

“Had you been present, Buzz, there was nothing you could have done, so it was thought best not to disrupt your holiday,” Adam explained. Buzz noticed he didn’t say who had ‘thought it best’. He added sadly, “It’s not yet certain that Elinor will ever again be well enough to live without nursing support.”

“Just as well I know a lot more about nursing than some of these young Australian madams,” Buzz sniffed.

Then Adam quietly explained that she no longer had a job.

Tight-lipped and pale, Buzz listened in silence and near disbelief. Nobody had ever sacked her! Even after she had been caught in that ruined church with Ginger Higby, that old bitch of a commandant in the women’s ambulance service hadn’t wanted to lose her.

Eventually she asked, “Does Elinor know about this?” “Of course not,” Adam said.

“As you saw, she’s in no condition to discuss anything. But the trustees have considered the matter most carefully.”

“Them trustees are sitting miles away in their offices in Bermuda!” Buzz snorted.

“I know Nell better than they do! And better than you do, you young whippersnapper!”

“Of course you do,” Adam said soothingly.

“But in fact, it is Elinor’s doctors and consultants who feel that she will no longer need you. I thought I had made that plain.” Shocked and incredulous, Buzz could say nothing more, but as the limousine glided on, she remembered a great deal: the teashop outings in Earls Court when Edward was little, comforting Nell, time after time, when

Billy had had a few and behaved badly. She remembered the difficulties they’d had repairing Starlings after the war, when you couldn’t get a brick or a plank of wood, not even if you was royalty; and she remembered comforting Nell as each granddaughter left home.

Now they were kicking her out! And the worst part was that she couldn’t talk to Elinor about it.

Finally, Buzz stifled her feelings enough to ask calmly, “Do the girls know about this?” “They asked me to tell you,” Adam lied.

“We all have to face the fact that Elinor’s life has suddenly changed and she will probably continue to deteriorate.”

“And they didn’t mind me going?” Buzz asked painfully.

“Of course they mind they’re very, very fond of you,” Adam said. As soon as he’d seen Buzz safely on the plane to Nice, he planned to drive back to London, where he would telephone Annabel in New York before seeing Miranda. The sisters would ‘be told that Buzz had agreed it was best for her to leave.

“Of course them girls are fond of me!” Buzz bit back further words. She’d wiped their tears, she’d wiped their hot ties and she’d loved them as if they were her own.

Adam shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. Buzz growled, “Where am I supposed to goT She refused to accept this mortifying disgrace. Who did this little twerp think he was? Too big for his boots, as she’d always said. Slowly her face reddened as she fought to control her anger and her tears. Eventually her voice grated, “You can’t kick me out like this. Not after all these years.”

“Of course we’re not kicking you out.” Adam spoke soothingly, but Buzz sensed a hint of contempt or was it triumph? “Then what exactly are you doing?.

“I am not doing anything. I have been asked to see that you are properly looked after in your retirement.” “Retirement?” I’age of retirement,”

“You are eight years over the lega

Adam reminded Buzz.

“The trust has approved a generous pension; it will be paid to you monthly wherever you wish anywhere in the world.” He waved his hand expansively.

“You make it sound as if I’ve won a sweepstake!” she said bitterly, still fighting to control her feelings. What was that favourite saying of Elinor’s? Buzz could almost hear her voice: “Stupidity is the operation of intelligence hampered by emotion.” Buzz sensed that she had to be careful, she had to box clever, she had to let Adam think she had accepted what he said and would go quietly. Seething with indignation and fury, she told herself that this was the best way to catch Adam off guard and discover what was going on.

Thoughtfully Adam said, “It was, perhaps, a pity that you were unable to stay on with your friend Mrs. Higby.” Once again Buzz noticed that Adam didn’t speak like other people: he always gave himself an out. Adam couldn’t say, “The cat is black.” He would say, “To the best of my knowledge, the ‘cat appears to be black.” You’ve got to have the sense to hold your tongue, my girl, Buzz told herself. Play along with him. Let him think. that he’s able to plant these ideas in your head. Let him think that he’s getting away with it. She said, J suppose I could always go and live with Bertha, if Nell really doesn’t need inc.”

“Living with Mrs. Higby might be an excellent idea,” Adam approved, “particularly as eventually it might be necessary to sell Saracen.”

“Sell Saracen! Elinor would never allow it.”

“Saracen now belongs to the trust,” Adam said firmly.

“If Elinor is unable to live in Saracen, the trustees might consider it an unjustifiable expense: apart from the income that might be generated

by the capital that’s tied up in the place, keeping five full-time domestic staff members and three secretaries would no longer be viable. Have you any idea of the cost of running that place, compared to the cost of a couple of rooms in a nursing ho meT “No idea,” Buzz said, “but I’m sure you know what’s best for Nell.” Buzz waited in the departure lounge. When the flight to Nice was called, she informed a brisk blue-uniformed redhead that she was feeling ill and thought she’d better cancel her ticket. He took her to the airport nurse, who could find nothing wrong with her but agreed that she might be suffering from jet lag and needed only to rest.

An hour later, Buzz hailed a taxi and returned to Eastbourne, where she booked into a modest residential hotel recommended by the taxi driver.

Buzz did not feel like sitting in the small lounge at the Eastbourne hotel, which contained a great many genteel, inquisitive, elderly ladies, all of whom seemed to be knitting. She would have liked to go for a long walk past the charming wedding-cake buildings that -lined the promCnade, but although it was only teatime, it was already too dark to see anything. Instead, she wandered into town, where she bought a bag of chips, well soused in vinegar and wrapped in newspaper; she took the bag to her room, where she sat on the edge of the single bed, slowly eating chips in the dark and thinking.

Buzz decided that her first priority was to see Elinor again. She would then telephone Miranda, the most dedsive of the three sisters.

She did not blame herself for going on the cruise, although she sensed that Adam, always an opportunist, had taken advantage of her absence. Buzz had read newspaper accounts of old people who had been forcibly removed from their homes and admitted to nursing homes; such people had been robbed by the very guardians who were Ily supposed to care for them. She had also read about old people’s homes that ruthlessly exploited their pensioners: unscrupulous proprietors grabbed all they could squeeze from the social services but gave little back to the residents; they cut corners on staff, food, laundry, and amenities and added to their profits by pocketing the difference between their sparse expenditures and the sums they actually received. If such money grubbing goings-on could happen in cheap nursing homes that were checked by the authorities, Buzz wondered what might occur in expensive ones, where there was a greater possibility for profit? The Lord Willington looked the sort of place into which dishonest rascals might put their inconvenient relations in order to get them out of the way: uncles with the DTs, incontinent aunts, senile gran dads and cousins who’d been odd since they were born. Buzz remembered Nurse Evans, who’d been with Nell in Ward C at La Chapelle; after the war, Evans had worked in one of those rich bins before she’d married a Lutheran minister and gone to live in Scotland. Evans had relayed some hair raising stories about the exploitation of her rich patients.

Because for what reason, other than profit, would a nursing home prescribe so many drugs for Nell? Did Adam know what was going on? Buzz didn’t know what was going on, but she certainly smelled dishonesty: it probably involved fraud, and it probably involved Adam.

Having finished her bag of chips, Buzz licked her fingers, switched the light on, and prepared for bed. She had not felt this alone and lonely since she first set out for the French battlefields over fifty years ago.

On the following morning, Elinor lay with her eyes closed, apparently sleeping. For the past twenty-four hours, she had swallowed none of

her medication, although she had been unable to refuse an injection. She trusted Buzz. She knew instinctively that Buzz would reappear to get her out of this place and help her to recover.

While she lay waiting, Elinor fought back the fears underscored by the hospital bed and the smell of antiseptic. Her foremost fear was that she might lose her mind, for trying to think made her feel as if her head were filled with cotton wool. She felt muddled … couldn’t keep track of one thought for long. She wasn’t ill when she came in here yes, she was sure of that … but she was ill now. How could that have happened … unless they were making her ill? … How could they do that? … Easy … with medication. She feared that decisions were being made behind her back, and that she was not being told the truth by that apologetic mouse of a doctor. Was she really more ill than she’d been led to suppose? If so, why hadn’t she felt ill? Or was she not ill at all? And if not, then why was she imprisoned here?

It was too difficult. She would wait for Buzz. But as she lay there, demons slid possible visions of the future into her mind. Suppose she lost the use of her body? She dreaded being immobile and physically dependent, and she certainly felt as if heavy weights were attached to her feet and her legs; she felt as helpless as if she were buried to her neck in quicksand.

Another vision slid before her, of a half wit locked in a cell. Perhaps she would never again be able to function normally. She saw herself wheeled along white corridors, wired up to huge machines that clicked, whirred, and flashed lights: this was her greatest fear, that she might be kept alive artificially by machinery, a mumbling vegetable, after her natural time to die had arrived.

She felt isolated in this comfortable place, but paradoxically, she also wished that these young women, with their bright faces and inane chatter, would go away and leave her in peace.