Crewel Lye (33 page)

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Authors: Piers Anthony

Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult

BOOK: Crewel Lye
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“But what?”

He swallowed, clearing his mouth somewhat so he could speak more clearly. “But Renee isn't.”

Ivy looked around, spying the female ghost, who hovered at the fringe of vision. “That's right. I guess you miss her now.”

“I am glad for Jordan,” Renee said faintly. “He will be able to finish his real life. I will fade away.”

“No!” Jordan cried, clearing the rest of his mouthful. “I love you, Renee. I don't want life if it means I must lose you! I'll become a ghost again!” He glanced back toward the parasol tree, where the Knight's sword still lay. He took a step toward it.

“Don't you dare!” Ivy said severely. “I went to a lot of trouble to get you back alive! We'll just have to make Renee alive, too.”

“No, that is not necessary,” Renee protested. “Jordan deserves to live; I don't.”

“But how?” Jordan asked Ivy, interested.

Ivy pondered. It was an awkward question, the very type that adults favored. “I'd better ask Hugo.”

“Hugo?”

“My friend at Magician Humfrey's castle. Hugo's very smart.”

“That's not what I've heard,” Jordan said.

“Well, he's always smart when I'm with him.”

Jordan had just experienced a demonstration of her power and began to understand. If she thought Hugo was smart, Hugo would be smart--for her. “Humfrey's castle--isn't that where Millie went? I remember when she left us thirty years ago.”

“Thirty-one years,” Renee said. Evidently she was good at figures, having a good one herself. Naturally these ghosts had known Millie the Ghost before she was restored to life.

“Millie--you mean Lacuna's mom?” Ivy asked. “She lives in the Zombie Castle. Humfrey's castle is east.”

“Yes, but that's still a long way away. It would take a long time to go there, even if you used the gourd again.”

“We'll use the mirror, silly! Come on!” And Ivy headed toward the castle at a brisk skip.

“But if the adults see me, they'll ask questions,” Jordan pointed out.

That made Ivy pause. It was a big nuisance when people asked questions. She was coming to understand why Magician Humfrey discouraged it. “Okay. You stay here and eat. And find something to wear.”

“Oops,” Jordan said, realizing that his clothing had not revived with him. It seemed he had been so hungry that he hadn't paid attention to other details.

Ivy returned to the castle and went straight to the magic mirror. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the cutest of them all?” she asked rhetorically.

“You are, you ravishing little snippet!” the mirror replied, showing the image of a kiss. It was a game they played. As Magician Humfrey aged, he had gotten to tinkering with things he had not had time for in his senior years and had fixed the various inoperative mirrors, so that now intercastle communications were excellent. Ivy's talent hadn't hurt, either; the mirror responded especially well to her attention.

Ivy made a grab for the kiss, but it danced away, back beyond the glassy surface where she couldn't get it. This mirror was a tease. “And who's the smartest of them all?”

“Now that depends,” the mirror began.

“Oh, just give me Hugo.”

“I thought you were working up to that,” the mirror grumped. It flickered, and then Hugo came on.

“Hugo, I need some advice,” Ivy said. “You're real smart, aren't you?”

“I am now,” he agreed warily. He had been through this before.

“How can we bring a ghost back to life?”

“That's easy. Use a reanimation spell.”

Ivy considered. “The only one of those I know of was taken away by a ghost horse four hundred years ago.”

Hugo shook his head. “Ivy, you've said some foolish things in your day, but this is worse yet. How could you have lost such a spell four hundred years ago? You didn't exist then.”

“Just tell me how to bring back that ghost horse,” Ivy said evenly.

“I'll have to ask my father. He's a brat now, but he likes to show off his information.” Hugo disappeared from the mirror, which played innocuous music and ran color patterns during the interim. Soon he returned. “He says, quote, you idiot, all you have to do is rattle some chains, unquote.”

“Okay. Tell the brat thanks.” Ivy dashed down to the arsenal, found the heaviest chain she could carry, shook the bones out of it, and dragged it out to the orchard. The moat monster spooked as she hauled it across the draw-bridge, for it made a loud noise on the wooden planks.

Panting from the effort, she brought the chain to Jordan, who had already filled out some more. Apparently Ivy's presence had accelerated his healing again. “Rattle this!” she told him.

Perplexed, he obeyed. He took the chain and shook it. The rattling noise filled the orchard, causing the trees to avert their leaves.

In a moment there was a distant answering rattle. “Pook!” Jordan cried, surprised and pleased. “I'd know that sound anywhere!”

Indeed it was the ghost horse, who was eternal as long as he wore his chains and avoided getting killed. Pook galloped up, gave a startled neigh when he saw Jordan, and practically knocked him down in greeting. “Yes, I'm alive again!” Jordan said. “Did you miss me?”

Pook shrugged. Then he turned and neighed. There was an answering neigh--and in a moment Peek, the female ghost horse, trotted up. Trailing her was a little colt, wearing cute little chains.

“I guess you found a way to pass the time,” Jordan remarked. “But four hundred years--just when did the stork deliver that colt?”

“Ooo, nice!” Ivy exclaimed, fascinated by the little ghost horse. The feeling seemed mutual.

“Of course, these things do take time,” Jordan decided. “When you're a ghost. I've had some experience that way myself. That colt could be a century old.” And Pook nodded.

“I'll call you Puck!” Ivy told the ghost colt, patting his pretty little mane.

Jordan checked Pook's chains. There were the tattered remains of the bag of spells. He pulled it free, and two unused white spells dropped out: a shield and a stone. “One of these must be the reanimation spell,” he exclaimed. “And the other--” He paused to tally them up in his mind. “The monster-banishing-spell.”

“But which is which?” Ivy asked.

“We'll just have to try them both. But first we have to find Renee's bones.”

“No,” Renee said timidly. “I really don't deserve--”

 “Either you join me in life, or I'll rejoin you in death.”

And Jordan's barbarian jaw was set so hard it was evident he meant it.

“You don't understand,” Renee demurred. “You wouldn't like me alive. I never intended to live again.”

“Well, I never intended to die for four hundred years,” Jordan retorted. “That was the mischief of Threnody's cruel lie, may she be forever damned! But now I'm glad I did, because that's how I met you. I love you; I'll either live with you or die with you.”

“Come on, Renee,” Ivy said persuasively. She loved a good romance, even if there were aspects of it she had been unable to fathom yet. “Don't be shy. I know my father will make a place for you at Castle Roogna--”

“No! Never!” the ghost cried.

“But after all, you've been here for centuries!”

“That's different. Ghosts don't count. I could never stay, in life,” Renee protested, wringing her diaphanous hands.

“Then we can live somewhere else,” Jordan said. “Anywhere you want. Just so long as we're together. You want that, don't you?”

“Oh, yes! But--”

“Then it's decided,” Ivy said decisively. “Show us your bones.”

Reluctantly, Renee led them to one more site--a sophis-tree. This looked like a solid, regular tree, but on closer examination, it turned out to be a clever deception--an animal masquerading as a tree by standing on its thick tail and spreading its limbs out, covered with bits of green to emulate branches and leaves. Obviously it was an intruder in the orchard, a weed-creature, but the effort was so ingenious that no one had noticed for centuries, until now. Ivy decided to pretend not to notice; if the creature tried that hard and long to look and act like a tree, it deserved to succeed. After all, it wasn't doing any harm.

Stanley sniffed out the bones and dug them up. They were very shapely bones; obviously Renee had been a beautiful woman, so her appearance wasn't the reason for her reluctance to reanimate. That was fine, for, as Jordan continued to pluck and eat fruit, he was filling out into a muscular and handsome man. Ivy just knew they would make a lovely couple and she was thrilled to be able to reunite them in life. She liked the ghosts of Castle Roogna and would be sorry to lose these two as ghosts--but life was even better.

Jordan reached into the bag and brought out the little white stone and shield. “These stand for life and monster-banishment,” he said. “But there's no way to tell which is which, short of invoking one. I'll just have to guess. At least neither one will hurt anyone.”

“But--” Renee protested. “I really think you shouldn't--”

Jordan held up the white stone. “Invoke!” he said.

There was a flash from the stone--and a pop behind them. They glanced around. “Stanley's gone!” Ivy cried, appalled.

Jordan looked abashed. “I forgot he was a monster,” he said. “He was so helpful during the night. But I guess a little monster is still a monster.”

“But where is he?” Ivy demanded, peering around the orchard.

“Don't worry--I'm sure he's all right,” Jordan said. “He must have been sent to wherever monsters live when they're not monstering. I mean, when I ran into the black monster-summoning-spell, it was a pretty healthy tarasque that appeared, and this spell is just the reverse. I'm sure Stanley will find his way home.”

“He'd better!” Ivy said, poking out her lower lip. “Or I'll give him holy what for!”

Jordan held up the little white shield. “This has to be it, by elimination. Invoke!”

Renee's bones quivered. Then the ghost was drawn to them--and as she settled onto the pattern of bones, her ghostly outline clarified, thickened, and became solid. In a moment she was a bare, beautiful woman with flowing black hair.

Jordan stared at her, stumbling back as if struck. “Threnody!” he cried.

“Who?” Ivy asked, bewildered. The woman got to her feet. She had gone through none of the agonizing stages of restoration that Jordan had; this spell had been quick and strong. She gazed sadly at Jordan. “I tried to dissuade you, barbarian,” she said. “I warned you that you wouldn't like me alive.”

“You--you substituted your bones for Renee's!” Jordan cried. “You tricked me into reviving you instead of the one I love!” Behind him, Pook snorted agreement. Pook had never liked Threnody.

“Now how could a dead person change bones with another?” Threnody asked with the same air of regret. “I was always Renee--Threnody. I just simplified my name, so you wouldn't know.”

It was obviously true. “You deceived me--even in death!” Jordan said. “Even as a ghost!”

“Even as a ghost,” she agreed, walking to a clothing tree and making tasteful selections from it. Ivy had never seen a better-formed woman, not excepting her mother Irene. Even as a female child. Ivy could appreciate how such a figure could dazzle a man's mind. Threnody spoke again. “That was the crudest lie of all.”

Jordan's prospective joy had changed abruptly to bewildered horror. “But--why? You had gotten what you wanted! Why torture me even in death?”

She sighed. “I don't suppose you could believe that I have always loved you?”

Jordan's big fist clenched so hard the knuckle cracked. “Don't give me any more of your lies! For once in your foul life, tell the simple truth! Why?”

She nodded as if she had expected this. “No more lies, Jordan. I'll just do you the favor of getting out of your life. You're alive now; you can make a new life for yourself. I'm sure any decent and lovely maiden would be glad to comfort a handsome barbarian like you. You certainly don't need anything from demon-spawn.” She completed her dressing and walked out of the orchard, away from the castle.

Jordan's hurt bafflement turned to outrage. “Oh, no, you don't! You can't destroy my love twice over and just walk away! I promised to deliver you to Castle Roogna, and now I will! King Dor will decide what to do with you!” And he ran after her, grabbed her by her slender waist, and picked her up. He had not yet recovered his full mass and strength, but he was already a powerful man.

“Stop that!” Threnody cried. “Put me down! I can't go to Castle Roogna!”

“We'll see about that!” he gritted. “There's no Evil Magician now to kill me on the way. Once my mission is done, I'm through with you--but not before!”

She kicked and fought, but he carried her through the orchard toward the castle, while Ivy and the three ghost horses followed. Pook snorted approval; this was at least a fitting conclusion to Jordan's mission. Threnody would at last pay the penalty for her many treacheries.

But as they approached the drawbridge, there was dust rising from the zombie graveyard to the side. The zombies were dragging themselves out of their graves, trying to protect the castle. But they were too slow. Jordan reached the bridge first and started boldly across it, despite the woman's struggles.

Castle Roogna began to shake. There were cries from within it as startled people reacted. Still Jordan marched forward. The moat monster forged through the water toward them, but it, too, was too late. All the castle's defenses had been caught off guard by this sudden occurrence.

The shaking got worse. The water of the moat rippled. A stone fell from a turret and crashed to the ground.

“The castle's falling, you idiot!” Threnody screamed. “It will kill everyone!”

Jordan stopped, amazed. “It really is!” he exclaimed. “I thought that was just a threat!”

Threnody managed to squirm out of his grasp and get back on her feet. “You never did know the truth from a lie!” she said and ran back across the bridge. “You were always a fool!” She brushed past Ivy and the horses, tears on her cheeks. No one tried to stop her.

The shuddering diminished as Threnody got away from the castle. The threat was easing. The disinterred zombies paused, and so did the moat monster, watching her depart.

“She sure didn't lie about that part,” Ivy said, shaken by more than the castle. “But I don't understand. Why did she pretend to be Renee?”

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