Craving Absolution (14 page)

Casper

I spent four days in southeast
Portland before I got a hit. The night I’d gotten in, I realized that my clothes weren’t going to work unless I wanted to call attention to myself. These people weren’t polos and skinny jeans, they were worn-in work boots and baggy jeans falling off their asses. I’d stopped at Wal-Mart and bought some clothes, running over them with my car in the gravel parking lot next door to give them some wear. That seemed to have worked.

I finally found the boys we were looking for in a shady strip club. Shit was all spread out in the
side of town I knew I’d find them, and it was hard as hell to hit as many places as I could in a day without looking suspicious. I’d had to make my way around, asking guys on the street about jobs and spare cigarettes, striking up conversations that led to where I could get a beer. I knew they’d be holed up in some piece-of-shit bar, somewhere they knew they’d get the respect they wanted.

Small
-time assholes always went to the shadier parts of town, the ones that were down on their luck, with wannabe gangsters on the corner who thought they were hard but weren’t. That was where they’d find their power, in a place that had a hell of a lot of followers but no leader.

The women dancing looked barely old enough to be legal, and the entire club reeked of stale smoke and feet.
It was fucking disgusting, but I clocked the two men I was looking for right away. Two men, midforties, one with a mole next to his nose and the other with a patchy chinstrap beard. Their backs were to the wall, placing them right next to each other, and they were the only two smoking in a club with No Smoking signs on every wall.

Bingo.

They were ruling their shitty little kingdom from the back corner of a strip club covered in ratty red shag carpeting left over from the seventies. Fucking tools.

I
’d been sitting near them, watching the dancers for almost an hour before I heard the word I’d been both hoping and dreading.

Aces.

I spent another hour listening, regulating my breathing and keeping my body relaxed and seemingly focused on the dancers, before I dropped a couple of bills on the stage and left. I had what I needed.

I didn
’t even stop at my hole-in-the-wall hotel before heading south on I-5 toward Eugene. I’d never wear any of the clothes again anyway, and I’d kept all of my stuff from Farrah’s in the trunk of the small Honda that Slider had given me for the trip. I was practically vibrating with the need to turn around and kill the motherfuckers sitting in the strip club. If I didn’t get out of there soon, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back.

It only took me a couple
of hours to get back home, and when I pulled into town I had to force myself to go to the club first. I wanted to pack up Farrah and Gram and get them the fuck out of there, then make my way to Callie’s, but knew I had to speak with Slider and Poet first. They were going to be livid, and we needed to plan. My family wasn’t the only one that needed protection.

I walked into the club and made my way over to the couch where Slider and Vera were groping each other like a couple of teenagers.

“Boss?”

“
Fuck,” he hissed into Vera’s mouth, pulling his hand out of the back of her jeans. When he finally looked up and met my eyes, recognition dawned and he jumped up from the couch. “Club business, baby. Be back in a while,” he said to Vera, who only nodded with a small smile at being interrupted.

“
Poet! Call Dragon and Grease and have them get their asses here. Doc! Smokey! You’re with me.”

We followed him into the back room and once again sat down at our places at the table. The
other brothers had watched me with a mix of hostility and confusion as I’d followed them in, and I almost groaned at the fucking pecking order that assured I’d be cleaning bathrooms for the next month. They didn’t understand why I’d been allowed in, and they weren’t happy about it.

Fuck me.

I started to talk as soon as we sat down, but Slider put one hand up to silence me before I could say much. “We’ll wait for the boys,” he said, “so we’re all hearing it at the same time. Makes shit easier.”

I nodded and sat back to wait, fidgety and uncomfortable with the eyes
in the main room I could feel on me through the open door. By the time Dragon showed up, I was clenching my jaw and had moved to popping my knuckles. Grease walked through the door, shutting it firmly behind him.

“
You got what you needed in four days? Any problems?” Poet asked.

“
No problems. Found the brothers in a titty bar in Southeast playing kings of the fucking castle. Took me a while to find them, working my way through the guys out of work or homeless on the street.” I cleared my throat, feeling a little uncomfortable with all of the eyes on me. “Found out what they’re planning and headed out straight from there.”

“
Is it something we can handle?” Slider asked quietly.

“
They’re small. Nobodies. No competition if they were doing shit on the up-and-up,” I answered, meeting his eyes. “They won’t be. Their next hit is another family. Not sure which one, they weren’t specific, but it was clear they wouldn’t be hitting us directly.”

“
Motherfuckers.”

“
Goddamn it.”

“
Son of a bitch!”

“
Fuck!”

The faces around the table had gone from questioning to livid, and I was glad that I was on their side. They were scary as all hell.
As Dragon stood up, looking like he was going to kill someone with his bare hands, Slider started barking orders.

“
Poet, you get the men with families in here. We’ll let them know what’s going on. Find anyone that’s sober and supply them with some cars, the drunk fuckers aren’t going to be able to go home to get their women alone. Who the fuck knows if they’d get there in one piece or what they’d be walking into.” Poet stood up from the table, clapping Slider on the shoulder as he walked out of the room.

“
Dragon,” Slider continued, “you and Brenna should be good. We’re going to lock down the gates and you’re already inside them. See if your woman has some extra shit she can spare or any room, the clubhouse is gonna be over-fucking-flowing. You take one of the cars if Poet needs a hand.”

Dragon left next, veins popping in his neck as he slammed the door closed behind him.

“Doc, make sure you’ve got enough shit on hand in case things go downhill. Order anything you need and get it out here tonight. Once the gates are closed, we aren’t opening them. Smokey, make sure the bitches are out of my clubhouse before the wives get here. Tell April and Jenny to stay, they’ve both been around a long fucking time and have enough of a reputation that they could be targets. Those picky whores have only been fucking a couple of the boys anyway, no one with wives. Everyone else, out.” With a nod, he dismissed the old-timers.

“
Grease, go get your woman and her grandmother. Make sure she’s got everything she needs for your boy. Stop at the store if you need to. Know this is her first time, so make sure you got enough diapers and all that other shit that you could need. Nothin’ goes in or out until we get this shit taken care of.”

After Grease left, Slider and
I were the last ones left sitting at the scarred table. It sounded like chaos out in the club, with bikes roaring out of the lot and girls bitching that they had to leave early, but it all faded out as Slider watched me.

I didn
’t know if I’d done something wrong, if I should have stayed in Portland to get more intel, or just called Slider to relay what I’d heard. The seconds ticked quietly between us until suddenly he spoke up.

“
You did good, kid. Now go get my daughter.”

I was up and out the door before he
’d finished his last sentence.

Farrah

I was on the couch watching
Pulp Fiction
with Cameron—who I thought was too young for it before he told me he’d already seen it—when I heard the lock of my front door turning noisily.

Our eyes met, wide and nervous.
Shit
. His eyes weren’t just nervous; they had a look I’d seen before. He was going into that protective mode that I’d seen on both Cody and Grease’s faces throughout the years. God, how early did it start with these guys? The little shit was only eleven!

I laid a hand on his shoulder
and shook my head at him sternly to keep him seated as I stood up. He could scowl at me all he wanted, but he’d better keep his ass on the couch.

It was late and I wasn
’t expecting anyone. I’d realized as a child that nothing good ever came from late-night visits, and at an early age had learned how to protect myself. I hadn’t been prepared when I’d needed it—those particular attacks had come in the middle of the day—but I’d learned my lesson. I was never unprepared again, and no one was getting into my apartment unless I let them, especially with Cameron there.

I walked to the side table and opened the drawer, quietly pulling my revolver out.
By the time the door opened, I’d checked to make sure it was loaded and was standing in the entryway, the gun hanging loosely at my side. I really hoped the little shit would stay where he was, partially hidden by the couch.

As
Cody stepped inside, I felt my entire body relax.

“
Hey, Ladybug.” He looked at me curiously. “You okay?”

“
Yeah. Shit.” I sighed, emptying bullets into my palm. “You fucking scared me.”

“
I’m sorry, baby. I missed you,” he replied, stepping forward. “Some shit’s going on at th—”

Just then Cameron stood up from the couch, interrupting whatever he
’d been about to say. It was like a scene from a movie as Cody’s eyes widened and he stumbled to the wall, barely catching himself with one arm. He looked like he was going to pass out.

“
Cameron?”

“
Hey, Casper.” The little dude was nervous, though I didn’t know why.

Cody gasped.
“Holy fuck. What? How?”

“
I’m guessing no one told you,” I remarked quietly as Cody got his shit together and literally jumped over the couch to reach Cameron.

They both
laughed as Cody lifted him off his feet in a hug, and I swallowed hard at the sound. It was the first time I’d heard it in the two days Cameron had been hanging out at my house. I wasn’t sure what was going on with Tommy, but Grease had dropped Cameron off both times, so the club knew where he was. I wanted to ask what the hell was going on, but kept my mouth shut. The kid wanted a safe place to hang out? I wasn’t doing anything after work, and I kind of liked the company anyway.

“
You’ve been hanging out with my woman?” Cody teased, pulling my attention back to him as he ruffled Cameron’s hair. “How the hell did that happen?”

His
gaze came to me and I shook my head slightly. I didn’t think it was something the kid would want to go over again. It had been hard enough to live it.

“
So, you’re back now?” I asked, wrapping my arms around my chest. I was fighting tears at their reunion and it pissed me off. I didn’t cry at happy things. That was ridiculous.

“
Shit, yeah, and we need to talk. You okay out here? We’ll be right back.” He looked at Cameron, slapping him on the shoulder and giving it a squeeze in one of those weird male rituals. Then he ushered me into my room.

“
I really hope you don’t think we’re having sex with an eleven-year-old in the living room,” I said, coming to a stop at the end of my bed.

“
Seriously?” He rubbed his hand over his head. “I can’t believe that shit. How the hell is Cam—what—? Fuck, I’ll figure it all out later. We’ve got some shit happening at the club and we’re locking it down. You need to pack a bag.”

I looked at him incredulously. He must be out of his mind.

“Um, no.”

“
Farrah, I didn’t ask you. I told you,” he replied, looking for a bag in the closet.

I wanted to stomp my foot like Will did when he didn
’t get his way.

“
You took my only bag, remember? When you took off and didn’t tell me that Trish was dead or what you were doing or where you were going or what the hell was the matter with you.” With each word my anger mounted, but he was too distracted to notice.

“
Fuck. I’ll grab a garbage bag. Start grabbing the things you’ll need. Enough for a while, we aren’t sure how long this shit is going to take.” He paused to take a deep breath and I wanted to scream as he ignored my comments about the last time I’d seen him.

“
I’m not going to your club,” I told him again. “No, thank you.”

He was wound tight as hell, I
’d noticed it when he’d walked in, but once he’d seen Cameron it had seemed to evaporate. Unfortunately, the minute we hit the bedroom, the tightness of his muscles and the stress in his eyes had shown back up.

“
I am not fucking playing with you, Farrah,” he enunciated clearly. “Get your shit or I’m taking you without it. I don’t give a fuck if you spend the entire time wrapped in your fucking quilt because you don’t have any makeup.”

I inhaled sharply at the low blow.
Using my odd need for things to look just right against me wasn’t even a little bit okay. I wanted to argue with him, be a bitch and make him pack my things himself, but I caught myself just before I did something stupid. I’d known there was something going on, but it took me a moment to catch the inflections in Cody’s voice instead of just the words.

He wasn
’t being a dick.

He was scared, and that scared me
, so I sucked up my attitude.

“
I have a suitcase under the bed,” I told him quietly, walking forward to wrap my arms around his waist. I hadn’t seen him for days, and before we left the house and our lives became a complete clusterfuck, I needed to feel him. Just for a second.

“
I’ll get that, you get all your shit,” he said, kissing my head. He ran his hands up my arms and around my neck as he tipped my face to his. “Hurry, Ladybug.”

We packed in record time, with Cameron helping me put all my toiletries into separate ziplock bags. He grumbled
about it, but I think he was glad to have something to do. All of his things were at the club now, mostly clothes that the old ladies had pitched in and bought him. If Tommy was helping with anything, I hadn’t heard about it, and it pissed me off. I liked the fact that Cameron came over to hang out, but was concerned that he felt the need to spend time away from his only surviving family member. Something wasn’t right there.

It took us about twenty minutes before we were out on the road, Cody leading the way to the club with Cameron and
me riding in my car. Gram had been staying with Callie, and apparently Grease was making sure they got to the club too. I hoped that they were there before I was. The entire situation was scary, not only packing and leaving in the middle of the night, but also the fact that I was going to be surrounded by people who didn’t like me. I needed to know my family was safe, and I wanted them with me.

My hands shook and
grew sweaty on the steering wheel as the guy at the gate checked inside my car and trunk with a flashlight. It didn’t even matter that I was the president’s daughter and had Cameron with me, he still checked everywhere. By the time we parked in the grass to the side of the club building, I could feel sweat gathering on my top lip. Really fucking attractive. I’d never been so glad for the tissues I kept in my glove box, even if Cameron was looking at me like I was crazy as I blotted my face.

I popped my trunk open and took a deep breath
before climbing out of the car. I could do this; I just needed to stay near my family and I’d be fine. Piece of cake. Cameron flew out the door as soon as I stood up and disappeared into the darkness, and I almost jumped out of my skin as Cody came up behind me.

“
You’re staying in my room,” he informed me, pulling my suitcase out of the trunk. “I know you’re freaked out, but you’re with me and you’ve got Grease too. No one’s going to mess with you.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath as we made our way through the tall grass. I could see Brenna and Dragon
’s house in the distance, every window lit up, despite the late hour. Their lives had been interrupted too, even though they lived in the compound.

The thought made me pause. Is this really the life I wanted? Running out of the house in the dark, frantically choosing what I could stand to lose? What if we had kids? I
’d have to hustle them out of their beds, scare them.

Before I realized it, we were walking into a massive room with a bar on one side
, and couches and a pool table on the other. A bunch of adults and kids were talking in quiet voices around the room as women laid out sleeping bag after sleeping bag on the floor. I scanned the place, looking for Gram or Callie, and after a few seconds I saw them walking out of what seemed to be a hallway off the back wall.

“
There’s Gram,” I told Cody with a tilt of my head. No one had noticed us yet, and I was afraid if I pointed or looked too closely at the other occupants of the room, someone would realize we’d walked in.

“
Wonder where Gram’s staying tonight?” Cody murmured.

He grabbed my hand
and pulled me through the room as I kept my chin high and my eyes on his back. I wasn’t going to cower, fuck that, but I refused to see the look on people’s faces when they recognized me.

“
Oh, Farrah! Thank God you’re here,” Gram exclaimed, pulling me into her arms. “All my babies are in one place.”

“
Hey, Gram,” I murmured into her hair. Just the smell of her calmed me down.

“
Where are you sleeping?” Cody asked.

“
Oh, Poet says I can sleep in his bed,” Gram replied, and Cody began to sputter. “Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. He’s sleeping on his daughter’s couch.”

I laughed a little at the relief on Cody
’s face.

“
Hope you cleaned that fucking disaster you call a room, brother,” Grease commented, pulling our attention from Gram to see him standing with one arm around Callie’s shoulders. “Farrah’s gonna leave your ass, you expect her to sleep in it.”

My nose wrinkled at
the thought of Cody having a messy bedroom. I couldn’t imagine it, but my head snapped up to stare at him when he replied.

“
Had April clean the shit while I was gone.” His hand squeezed mine, but I couldn’t read his expression.

Who the fuck was April?