Crave (Tainted Angels Book 1) (27 page)

Taking a long drag, I blew the smoke into the cool air and leaned my back against the wall. I missed Marie. She should have been with us, celebrating with me as my best friend, but smiling up into the night sky, I blew her a kiss, knowing she was watching anyway.

A chill settled around me and I shivered when a splash of goosebumps burst over my skin. The temperature had been considerately high for March but the breeze that had suddenly whipped up made each hair stand on end. Wrapping my arms around my body, I pulled in another drag and leaned harder against the wall when I teetered to the left.

I was so drunk. Rax would go ape on my ass. In fact I might let him, that could be quite fun.

“Hello, Willa.”

I jumped at the voice. He stepped out from the shadows and before I could do anything his hand slapped over my mouth and everything went dark.

I
dodged the butt ugly vase of Tabitha’s that I’d always hated when it soared across the room and smashed on the wall beside my head.

“You bastard!” she screamed, her hand reaching out for another of her gross ornaments. “You utter fucking bastard! How could you do this to me? I thought … I thought …”

“You thought I was your mate, Tabby, but I told you over and over that I’m not.”

“But we’re having a child. How can you …? How you can you couple with that … that … fucking halfbreed?” she raged. I was quietly impressed how red her face was becoming without the aid of the usual fake tan she always used.

I blew out a breath, trying to stay calm. “Please don’t call her that, Tabby. She’s my mate now and I don’t appreciate your choice of names.”

She snorted, snatching up a framed photo of herself and hurling that at me. Losing patience quickly, I shot my hand out and caught it then carefully placed it down on the table to the side of me.

“But … but …” Finally she gave in. A long choked sob erupted from her before she dropped to the floor and buried her face in her hands.

I felt like a prick. I knew I’d used her but I’d also thought she’d understood that I’d used her, and when an ‘I love you’ broke from her in a strangled cry, I went to her, sitting beside her and putting my arms around her.

“I’m sorry, Tabby. I really am. I wish I could say the same to you and promise you a future but I can’t. And I respect you too much to give you a life of lies. You deserve someone who absolutely dotes on you, who makes you happy and gives you a reason to smile every damn day.”

She peeked up at me through her fingers, her red puffy eyes making my self-loathing even worse. “But I thought we were to be coupled. You’re supposed to be my lifelong mate, Rax, not just the father of my baby.”

Shaking my head slowly, I gripped her hands. “And the very reason you thought I was your mate is because my father told you so, not because our hearts feel it. And that’s the reason I know it
is
Willa. I’m sorry, I’m being a dick but I don’t want to fill you with lies and words that will break you further down the line. You’re a great woman, Tabby and you deserve to be loved for that, not just because a child ties you to someone.”

Her sobbing turned to soft weeps. “You really think I’m a great woman?”

I nodded, giving her a smile. “I do, and I’m proud that you’re the mother of my child. You’re strength and love will nurture the fiercest of Gehenna.”

She smiled back, and I was astounded when her cheeks blushed with a shyness I’d never seen in her before. Her face dropped then and she lowered her eyes. “I was a bitch to Willa. I was horrible.”

“Willa is fine, a little upset that we can no longer have a baby of our own, but she will be the best stepmother you could want for our child, Tabby.”

She swallowed and nodded. “Will you apologise to her for me?”

I huddled her into my arms, kissing the top of her head when her apartment door opened and my father walked in. My gut twisted; he was going to be the hardest of them to convert.

“What’s going on here?”

Tabitha looked up at him and smiled. “It’s okay, Damon. Rax and I have sorted it. Although we won’t be coupled, we’ll still be bringing your grandchild up as a unit.”

She smiled at me and I grinned back, giving her a quick kiss before I pushed up from the floor and faced my father.

“You won’t be coupled?” he asked with an undertone of anger. “Dare I ask why?”

“Because I’m already coupled.” I decided to be blunt, it was usually the best where he was concerned.

His eyes narrowed on me. “You coupled with the seraph?”

I nodded firmly. “I did.”

I expected his anger, his rage but curiously he paled, worry and despair making him suck in a long breath. He trembled and I went to him, guiding him over to a chair but he shook his head and grabbed my arm.

“Come to my quarters, son.” He turned and walked out of the door.

Tabitha frowned at me. “Is he okay?”

“I’m not sure.”

“He looked like he was going to cry.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’ll catch you later and we’ll discuss everything. Okay?”

She nodded. “I’m good.” As I was about to walk through the door, she called me back. “Rax.” I turned to her. “Thank you for being kind to me, especially after …”

“I care about you, Tabby. I’m not just going to dump you with my child. I want to be one hundred percent part of his or her life. Honestly, I think with Willa we’ll make a great team and it will want for nothing.”

Her smile could have eclipsed the damn sun it was so bright. I’d never seen such a radiant and genuine smile on her face before.

As I went to catch up with my father I had a good feeling in my gut. I was glad Tabitha was so accommodating of Willa being part of our child’s life. It was not only important to Willa but Tabby wasn’t naïve enough to think she’d wouldn’t need all the help she could get raising a Torres.

My father was sitting in the chair beside the fire when I entered his suite. His head was down and his face was buried in his hands. He looked defeated when he lifted his head to look at me.

“Sit down, Rax.”

I did as ordered, taking the chair opposite him. “Is everything okay?”

He sighed heavily. “I warned you not to get involved with the Empyrean, Rax. I warned you.” He wasn’t angry. He appeared to be upset, or maybe worried. Something made my insides twist uncomfortably. Something serious was coming, I could see it in the way he was struggling to talk.

He shuffled to the front of his chair and I frowned when he reached for my hands. “I hate to see you hurt, Rax, you’re my son and I love you. I tried to end your relationship with Willa Eden when I first became aware of it.”

I sat silent, the way he was gripping on to my hands filling me with dread.

“I didn’t want it to come to this,” he whispered, his face paling further. “But there’s something about Willa that you don’t know …”

And then it went to hell.

M
y throat hurt, fear trying to claw its way out of me. The alcohol that had previously saturated my blood was now too diluted to calm my mind, the anguish riding my system grieving me with numerous scenarios of how he was going to kill me.

Out of everything, I hated that I hadn’t even been able to say goodbye to my mate. My heart hurt but I battled with my emotions. No way would this bastard witness my tears.

God sat opposite me in the most luxurious chair I had ever seen. If I wasn’t so terrified I’d have asked him where he purchased it. Snuggling down in that with a bottle of wine and a good book had never felt more tempting.

He wasn’t aware that I’d woken, my eyes tiny slits as I took a sneaky look around the room from where I had been placed on a long sofa.

It was completely different than what I had ever imagined it to be. I had thought he’d have lived somewhere more deluxe but the only thing that looked expensive was the chair he sat in. The rest of the room was rather plain and basic – cream walls, a small amount of furniture, and a stereo were virtually all I could see from my position.

“Welcome back, Willa.”

I gulped, attempting to lubricate my parched throat as I opened my eyes to look at him. He was rather large, his body round and his neck as thick as one of my thighs. His shock of white hair was closely cropped to his head and his plump red nose made him look like a warm and friendly grandpa. How looks could deceive so much.

He leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his thighs. “I apologise for bestowing the slumber but I couldn’t risk you screaming and alerting the others.”

My stomach heaved when I twisted around and sat up. His eyes were soft on me, confusing me. “I’m surprised you didn’t just kill me while I was out of it.” I spoke with a confidence I didn’t feel. “Or is it the pleasure of the torment that appeals?”

His eyebrows lifted at the vehemence in my voice but then he sighed and shook his head. “I’m disappointed, Willa. I thought my own grandchild was a tad more intelligent than to listen to hearsay.”

“Hearsay?” I scoffed. “I have it out of the horse’s mouth about what you did to my parents. I’d say that was more truth than hearsay.”

He flinched as though I’d physically hit him. His eyes clouded over and he nodded. “Yes, I understand your aversion. What I did to my own daughter was unforgivable.”

I blinked, a sliver of confusion trickling through me. That and surprise. “And now you’re doing the same to your granddaughter.”

His eyes snapped to mine and his face reddened. “That’s why you’re here. That’s why, for the first time in over two thousand years I left this place. I need to talk to you.”

“You haven’t left home in over two thousand years?”

He shook his head, his eyes glazing over. “No. My penance for what I did is to live in solitude. I don’t deserve to be with my people. I don’t deserve to ever breathe the fresh air again, or feel the sun on my face, or …” He shook his head again. “You’re not here to talk about me. I just want you to know that I have never forgiven myself for what I did, and I am paying for that every day. It’s not an excuse, Willa. What I did will never be excusable but I have my own reasons. I won’t beg for forgiveness because I don’t deserve it.”

“So why am I here?” I whispered, dreading his answer.

He gazed at me, his eyes reflecting so much sadness that I found it difficult to look at him. “You’re in danger, my dear girl.”