Cowboy Secret (The Dalton Boys Book 4) (9 page)

She buried her nose in his warm hair and drew deep breaths of soap and man. Suddenly it struck her.

He couldn’t belong to her. He didn’t belong to her. Never had.

“Beck, stop. Put me down.”

He shook his head between the pillows of her breasts. “No, don’t ask it. I can’t give you the things you’re asking of me, Sabrina.” Pain made his voice gritty.

She wanted—needed—this closeness as bad as he did, but in the end, it would destroy them both. How could she ever make her own life if she let him into her heart again?

As beautiful as this land was, and as much as she wanted to remain here forever, she couldn’t let him hope she’d be the wife he put on it.

She smoothed a hand over his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Put me down, Beck. You know this will just hurt us more.”

“We’ve hurt each other too much. Can’t we stop?”

“That’s why you need to put me down.”

Chapter Six

Spending ten to twelve hours a day on horseback doing nothing but looking at cattle was exactly what Beck wanted right now. He needed a little distance from Sabrina. She’d made it clear she wasn’t into turning back the hands of time of their relationship, and he couldn’t care as much as he did.

Not and keep his heart from getting skinned up.

The horse rolled under him, a calming rhythm.

Kade rode beside him, crunching on a granola bar. “Why’d you choose this horse?”

Beck patted his animal’s neck. “I know her habits and personality. I wasn’t in the mood to fight with Trouble today.”

“Is this one of those metaphors?”

Lowering his head, he stared at his smartass brother. None of them could stay out of Beck’s business for more than a few hours. He was questioned about Sabrina as often as his mother asked if they were hungry.

As soon as the thought developed, he realized that was Momma’s way of taking care of her family. Maybe his brothers…

Nah. They’re just nosy assholes.

Cows dotted the land as far as he could see. Without a word, he and Kade split from their brothers and circled a few animals. Two cattle dogs ran alongside them, tongues lolling out, eager to work. Beck gave a command and the dogs herded the nearest cow. The heifer stopped.

“See her limping?” Beck asked Kade.

“I do.” His rope was in his hand.

In seconds the cow was lassoed and Beck leaped off his horse to look at the animal. As he approached, he talked quietly. “Easy now. I won’t hurt ya. I just want to see your leg.”

From several steps away he saw the gash. Blood and dirt clotted the cut.

“Kade, get my kit.”

He rummaged through Beck’s saddlebag and a few minutes later they had the cut cleaned and sprayed with antiseptic.

“Doesn’t look as bad as I first thought,” Beck said.

“I think it’ll be all right. Turn her loose.”

Beck slapped the cow on the rump and it lumbered forward a few steps. He and Kade mounted their horses, called their dogs back and moved on. Beck lost himself in the work but once in a while Sabrina and Owen would pop into his head and he’d flounder for footing all over again.

What the hell was he meant to do with them? He wanted Owen here. No, he wanted them both. When they left, his heart would be ripped out.

“Getting quiet on me again, Beck.” Kade always had been annoyingly observant. He was damn good at making peace between the brothers, mostly because he saw things the others ignored.

Drawing a deep breath, Beck tried to organize his thoughts. Kade wouldn’t leave him alone until he provided some information.

“She needs a job but everything’s too far away.”

“Yeah. Look at where we live.” Kade stretched a hand at the ranchland.

“I don’t want them to go.”

Kade threw him a look.

Beck snorted. “Damn, you’re getting good at imitating Momma.”

Kade made a sound almost identical to Beck’s. “Would you prefer Pa’s look?” He drew his brows down and shifted his square jaw.

Beck burst out laughing. His brother looked just like their pa.

“What do our parents say about your situation?” Kade asked. A couple cows zigzagged between them and the dogs.

“They’ve been tolerant, letting me make the decisions without interference. Now if only Sabrina would do that.”

“What decisions would you make for her?”

“Well I’m friends with Slater at the school. Sold him a lot of beef over the years. I mentioned Sabrina needs a job.”

“That was a little high-handed.”

“No, it’s called taking care of business, Kade.”

“Can’t blame her for being mad. I’d be pissed if someone got me a job and I wasn’t selected because of my skills.”

Beck rubbed a hand over his nape where the heat of the day prickled his skin. He sighed heavily, suddenly feeling fatigue catching up with him. He’d barely slept a wink. Not with Sabrina’s taste and feel fresh in his mind.

“She came to me for help,” he said.

“True. But that doesn’t mean she wants to give up control of everything. Give her some breathing room.”

Beck rolled the thought around his brain for most of an hour. By the time they rode back to the ranch for some grub, he’d come to a decision.

“Whatcha going to say to her?” Kade asked as if reading his mind.

As Beck rubbed down his horse and tucked him into a stall with a bag of oats, he said, “I’ll give her some space, just like you said.”

Kade’s grin stretched from here to Vixen.

“Don’t get too cocky. Your advice is good—but you’re still a punk-ass cowboy.”

Kade cuffed him and Beck rebounded with a shove. When they walked up to the front of the house, it was a full-on war. Kade tripped him, and Beck went face down in the dirt.

Even above his brothers’ laughter, he heard the feminine gasp. As he pushed to his feet, Sabrina bounded down the porch steps, curls bouncing and eyes wide.

“Are you okay?” she asked, grabbing his arm.

The place her hand met his shirt sleeve seared. His heart convulsed and he smiled down at her. “Yes, I’m fine. Kade thinks he’s got the last jab, but he’s wrong.” He rushed a few steps toward his brother, catching his boot beneath Kade’s at the moment he took a step. Kade stumbled and caught himself on the porch railing.

“Stop messing around and get inside for lunch, boys,” Momma commanded from the open front door. “Beck, that son of yours has a big appetite and he’s not waiting for a slowpoke father.”

“He shouldn’t have to. Feed him something besides bananas and oatmeal.”

“Because sugar cookies and French toast are good for him? He’s only just starting solid food,” Sabrina huffed.

“He’ll be gnawing steak in no time.” Beck strode into the kitchen and gave his hands a good scrubbing in the kitchen sink. Then he turned to the highchair where Owen sat beating the tray. His face was red in mutiny.

“Give him a biscuit,” Beck said to Sabrina.

She opened her mouth to protest.

Before she blistered his ears, he waved a hand at the jar of baby food on the table. “Can I at least feed him green swamp mush?”

“Green beans,” she corrected. “Be my guest.” With that she took a seat and gave Beck the reins. It was time for him to do the same.

* * * * *

Secretly Sabrina hoped Owen would spit green swamp mush all over his father’s handsome, rugged face, but he didn’t. He
mmm
ed and
ahhh
ed until most of the jar was gone.

“I guess green beans are a success,” Maggie said. “Next time we can mash some fresh ones from the garden.”

“Yeah, we can’t be giving my son this processed shit from…” Beck peered at the label, “Ohio.”

Sabrina gasped and pressed her hands over Owen’s ears. “You can’t swear in front of him!”

Kade smirked and Beck dipped his head, trying to hide his own smile. “You’re right. Gotta raise a good Texas boy.”

“Texas boys use much worse language,” Kade said. At his mother’s look, he stuffed a whole biscuit into his mouth. He took a second to chew and swallow. “At least Beck does.”

Beck’s mother shook her head at their antics and struck up a conversation with Mr. Dalton about a sickness in the chickens on the neighboring ranch five miles away.

Beck leaned around the highchair to whisper to Sabrina, “How she knows this information when she rarely leaves our land is anyone’s guess. For years I’ve believed she’s telepathic.”

Sabrina mopped green beans off Owen’s face, stifling a giggle.

“Speaking of going off the ranch, I want you to head out today, look into some of those jobs you circled.” Beck still leaned close enough she could reach up and cup his chiseled jaw.

She snapped her gaze to his. “Really?”

“It’s not as though you’re a captive here, Sabrina. You need a job and I know you’ll do what’s best for you and Owen.”

She sank her teeth into her lower lip. Yesterday he’d been busy crossing out her opportunities because they were too far away. And today he was sending her off with well wishes?

Was this because she’d turned him down? How soon he flip-flopped between emotions. Hot and cold—that was the Beck Dalton she knew.

“I’ll take care of Owen so Momma can get her own work done.” He returned to his food.

“What about the ranch? Your brothers and pa don’t need you?”

He shook a dark lock of hair out of one blazing blue eye. “They’ll make do. This is important.”

Pushing out a breath, she nodded. “Okay, I’ll go after I help your mom clean up.”

They finished lunch and Sabrina cleared the table then loaded the dishes into the dishwasher. Beck took a very full Owen onto the porch to “let the swamp mush digest” while Sabrina went upstairs to find clothes suitable for a job search.

When she came outside, newspaper in hand, Beck was rocking Owen on the swing.

Her heart stuttered, stopped and took up a heavy beat of sadness. Taking her boy away from his father was going to hurt.

Hurt us both.

Beck’s leg flexed as he pushed them slowly, Owen sleeping with his head on his father’s shoulder. Sabrina could only remember tough times with her parents, but it looked as if Owen would only have good memories. At least she hoped.

Beck dropped his gaze, slowly drinking in her outfit. “You look mighty pretty. Once they look at your credentials and listen to you talk, you’re sure to get a job.”

A job far away from him. She thought of Beck traveling hours to see Owen and a hollow pit formed in her stomach.

“Oh, you need gas money.” Barely jostling the baby, he leaned onto one butt cheek and fished out his wallet. When he handed her a couple bills, she thanked him, heart in her throat.

“Don’t be nervous, honey bun. You’ve got this.” He patted Owen’s padded butt. “And I’ve got this.”

Resisting the urge to kiss Beck goodbye, she settled for brushing her lips over Owen’s downy hair.

Seated behind the wheel of her car, she waited for a sense of adventure and hope to kick in. She hadn’t been away from the baby for ages and she was moving toward a new life. Even if she couldn’t teach, she’d be doing honest work and making a living for her family.

When the gates of the Paradise Valley Ranch were in her rearview mirror, she swallowed a huge lump in her throat. If she was so ready for this next step, why did she feel so depressed?

* * * * *

Beck guided the horse in a slow walk around the corral. Owen was locked against Beck’s chest with an arm around his middle. Every time the wind blew, his thin, dark hair stood straight up, which brought a smile to Beck’s face. Owen smacked his hands off Beck’s arm and giggled.

“You love your first ride, don’t you? When you’re about three I’ll get you a pony, make sure it’s trained up right for you to ride.”

Owen babbled an incomprehensible reply.

The hum of an engine made Beck look up. His breath hitched as he spotted Sabrina’s car.

“Momma’s home. Let’s show off for her,” he said to Owen.

He circled the paddock and Owen flapped with joy. When Sabrina got out of the car, she didn’t see them, so Beck issued a shrill whistle.

She turned their direction, shoulders slumped and her lips downturned. Beck took Owen’s hand and waved it at his mother.

Her expression transformed. Lips forming an O and eyes wide. Then she clamped her mouth shut and stormed across the yard, barely managing the uneven ground in heels.

“What the hell are you doing with Owen on a horse?” Her incensed tone reached him long before she did.

“No swearing in front of the baby.”

She planted her hands on her hips and stomped up to the fence. “I’m serious, Beck. What kind of person puts a six-month-old baby on horseback?”

“Dalton boys all ride before we can walk. Besides, I’ve got a good grip on him.”

“The horse can go out of control.” Her eyebrows slanted in fury.

“Not this horse. She’s the gentlest we have. Do you think I’d endanger our son?”

“Give him to me right now. Dammit, Beck, I knew you’d pull something like this the minute I left.”

Her words tipped the scales and his own anger surfaced. Carefully he moved Owen over his shoulder and dismounted. As he walked to the fence, Owen started to whine. Holding Sabrina’s gaze, Beck pitched his voice low. “Pull something like what? You’ve just been waiting for me to screw up, haven’t you?”

“Yes. And I was right!”

“This boy is fine. See? Two arms, two legs and all his teeth. Wait—” he peered into Owen’s mouth, “no teeth. Shhiiiit, you were right.”

“Don’t give me that cute cowboy drawl. Hand over my son.”

“Our son. And not until you admit he’s fine.”

“He doesn’t even have on a hat! This wind is really picking up and his ears—”

“Oh for God’s sake, woman, his ears are fine.”