Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford) (15 page)

“
She shook her head slowly, managed to choke out, “I can’t promise you that I love you, because I don’t think I know what real love is. But I can promise you that I want to be with you. I have missed you and ache for you when we are apart. I love to see you smile, hear your laugh, and listen to you talk. I love the glint in your eyes and the tenderness in your voice when you say my name. I love the way you worry about me and call me to say goodnight. If that’s what love is, then I am way over the top.”

He hugged her tightly to him. “Oh, yes, Amy, that is what love is, but it doesn’t matter if you love me completely. I love you enough for both of us. I know our love will grow strong and healthy together.”

He pulled back slightly, gazing down into her eyes. She had made him so happy today. “I need to ask, are you prepared to leave your friends and come to California with me? I’m well established there. You won’t need to worry about money. You can concentrate all your time on raising our children, or you can continue with your career if that’s what you want. It doesn’t matter. The choice is yours. I won’t be one of those chauvinistic husbands who refuse to let my wife work.” He relaxed when he saw her look soften. “Does this make you happy?”

“
Are you sure this is what you want to do? Do you realize what’s involved in raising up a child? It’s not going to be easy. We haven’t known each other long. What if you can’t stand all of those irritating little habits of mine? We won’t have any time to get to know each other for who we are. Not to mention how hard it will be to start out a marriage with a baby arriving immediately. We will be plunged into parenthood. That means diapers, bottles, and two a.m. feedings.”

He kissed her to silence her. “I told you. I love kids, and I’m well aware of what it takes to raise them. I’m willing to make that sacrifice for us. I am looking forward to this little girl’s arrival.”

He caressed her abdomen as she had done earlier, sending excitement through her body. She couldn’t imagine her good fortune to have found such a man. She wanted to pinch herself to wake up.

“
What makes you so sure…” she started to say, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She left the security of Randy’s arms and went to open it.

Jessica came through the door, tossing her purse casually on the sofa as she began stripping off layers. “It’s damn cold out there.” She shivered. “I’m so miserable, I desperately need some company. It’s so lonely in my apartment since Brandon left. I just can’t stand it anymore,” she said with a pout.

Amy pressed her hand to her mouth in a failed attempt to suppress a giggle.

“
What’s so funny?” she asked with a frown. “Didn’t you hear me? I said I’m lonely, and you’re laughing.”

“
I’m sorry, Jess,” Amy said, trying harder to suppress the laughter, “I should have warned you, I have company.”

Jessica turned and saw Randy standing in the corner. She blushed with embarrassment as Randy stood across the room, laughing.

She groaned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I guess I should have called first.” She bent to retrieve her coat from where it had slipped to the floor. Amy quickly ran to her side.

“
Don’t be silly. Since when do we call first before coming to each other’s apartment? How could you have possibly known Randy would be here? I wasn’t even expecting him. Please don’t leave. We’d like you to stay for a while.”

She crossed the room to stand beside Randy. “We have some news to share with you. Have a seat, both of you, while I get us a bottle of champagne, and apple cider for me,” she added quickly. “We have a lot of celebrating to do.”

Once she had left, Jessica settled down next to Randy on the sofa. “How is everything going?”

“
Things are going great. I’m planning to return to California soon. My work with my father is just about completed, and I feel I can confidently leave him on his own.”

“
That’s great. For your dad, I mean. Amy must be terribly disappointed though. I’m sure she’s going to miss you.”

“
Have you talked to your mother lately?” he asked, changing the subject.

“
Yes, as a matter of fact, I have.” Suddenly understanding the point of the question, she continued, “I guess things are getting pretty serious with her and your father.”

“
I guess you could say they are quite an item.”

“
An item huh, now that’s a statement. What do you make of it?”

“
I think I’ll be calling you sister before too long.”

“
Well, I for one am glad. Your father is a wonderful man, and my mother certainly deserves a little happiness of her own after all these years. I look forward to having a brother.”

“
That makes it unanimous for me as well. I fully approve of the match.”

Amy came back. She was carrying a tray with three glasses on it. She set it down and then sat down next to Randy. Jessica noted the radiance that seemed to be emanating from her. It seemed the pregnancy was definitely agreeing with her.

Jessica pulled her to her feet, and pulled her aside. “What is he doing here?” she asked with trepidation. “I thought you weren’t going to see him anymore.”

“
I wasn’t,” she whispered. “He came to the door. I couldn’t very well turn him away now, could I? We’ve been talking on the phone. He called me earlier in the week. I told him I would like to see him again, but I didn’t think he would take me seriously and show up here.” She cast him a nervous smile from across the room. He winked and smiled back.

“
I’m sorry he has to return to California so soon,” Jessica sympathized. “But don’t you think it would be better if you make a clean break of it. You’re only going to prolong yours and his agony by carrying on a love affair that obviously can’t work out.”

“
Well, Jess. That’s just it.” She took a deep breath, swallowed hard and picked up the tray she had carried in, sidling over to where Randy now stood. He took the heavy tray from her. She plunged into their announcement. “I’m going with Randy,” she said, exhaling.

Jessica rushed to her side. “What in the world are you talking about? You can’t go to California. We’re in the middle of an important layout.”

“
Look,” Randy said, a flash of anger igniting his eyes. He set down the tray on the coffee table. “You needn’t be so harsh with her. She is a grown woman. She can make up her own mind.”

Amy winced at the hurt look that crossed her friend’s face. She went to her side. “Please try to understand. Randy asked me to marry him. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Jessica was shocked, unable to believe what she was hearing. She looked down at the place where Amy’s baby lay, waiting out its time to enter the world. Amy followed her gaze.

“
Yes, he knows about the baby, and he doesn’t care. He loves me—baby and all, and I love him, too. We are going to be great together. It doesn’t matter to him that it isn’t his baby. He loves children and believes it doesn’t matter who fathers a child.”

“
You accepted then, I take it.”

“
Of course, I accepted. I would be an idiot not to.”

While Jessica was happy for Amy, it was hard for her to accept the fact that her dearest friend would be moving so far away. She would miss her terribly.

“
Don’t be sad. I’ll only be a phone call away, and we can always visit each other.”

Jessica hesitated, feeling a stab of regret for her harsh words. She frowned, a forlorn look crossing her face. “I do have quite a few frequent flyer miles saved up,” she joked, choking back sobs. She hugged Amy. “I’m sorry. I really am happy for you. Things are working out so well for you. Are you sure it’s what you want?” she asked, tears beginning to drip down her cheeks.

Amy smiled radiantly. “Very.”

“
Well, all right then. When do you plan to leave?”

Randy stepped in. “We’re not sure about that. We haven’t made any definite plans yet. I suppose we’ll marry soon.”

Amy spoke up. “You needn’t worry. I will see the project through. I can always honeymoon after the baby comes. And of course, we’ll have to tell Randy’s father about the baby. I hope he doesn’t think too harshly of me.”

“
I don’t know him that well, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be supportive of Randy’s decision to marry you. He’s a fair man. You’re lucky to be getting him for a father-in-law.” She gestured at the glasses on the table. “I believe you were preparing a toast.”

They toasted as the happy couple kissed to seal the engagement. Jessica stared longingly, coveting what her friend had; envious of the love they shared. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

While driving home, she thought about the situation. The feelings, selfish and unwanted, only served to confuse her more. She felt guilty for being jealous of Amy. She was her friend and she was genuinely happy for her.

She walked in the door, set her purse down on the foyer table, hung her coat on the coat rack, and kicked off her shoes. She thought about calling her mother to share the good news with her. She glanced at the clock, saw it was late, and changed her mind. Instead, she fixed herself a quick cup of soup, sat on the sofa, and watched an old movie on TV. When she could no longer keep her eyes open, she got up and went to bed. As usual, she dreamt of Brandon. She knew the coming weeks were going to be rough.

On Monday morning, Jessica dashed into her office, slamming the door shut behind her. Sandy called to her as she ran by, but she waved her away. For the next three weeks, she would be busy making the final preparations for their trip to California. She had spent a long night tossing and turning. In her sleep deprived, groggy mind, she had made a mental list of things that needed to be done; she was anxious to get them down on paper.

Amy had managed to mix the colors she wanted, saving on having to reorder more makeup. She was sketching madly when she heard a light rapping on the door. She invited her guest in, and watched, as a confused delivery boy looked anxiously around, trying to find the voice that had summoned him into the room.

“
Over here,” she called from behind her drafting table.

Thankful to have found his recipient, he ran to her, thrusting a signature box in front of her. She scribbled her name on the magic board and relieved him of the box that burdened him. Now it was her turn to fumble with her package as she attempted to scrounge some cash from her pockets. The boy barely gave the offered five-dollar bill a glance as he shoved it in his pocket and wished her a good day. He ran quickly from the room, eager to pursue his next tip.

She watched him leave. In fact, she stood there for a while after he left, wondering just how much money these delivery people actually took in on a good day. She doubted they were retiring on their earnings, but neither did she think they were eating on the bargain menu at the local drive-thru.

Shaking herself out of her reverie, she untied the bright yellow string that secured the box. Inside the box was one delicate red rose. She smiled as she lifted the flower from its resting place, bringing it to her nose so she could smell the sensuous fragrance.

The ringing telephone brought her quickly to her senses. “Hello,” she said, surprised to hear her mother’s voice on the other end.

“
Jessie,” she began, “I hope I’m not bothering you at work.”

She smiled, placing the blossom gently on her desk. “No. That’s okay. Anyway, I needed a break. What’s up?”

“
I couldn’t wait to tell you my news.” Sarah paused, fearful of what her daughter was going to think. “Grant and I have decided to marry.”

Jessica sighed heavily, another bride for the spring. “That’s great, Mom. Congratulations. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you,” she said, trying desperately to muster as much enthusiasm as she could. She picked up the flower again and dreamily savored its fragrant beauty.

“
Are you upset that I’m marrying Grant?”

“
No. Don’t be silly, Mom. Of course, I’m not upset. I think Grant will make a wonderful husband, and of course, this does mean that Randy and I will be brother and sister. The idea greatly appeals to me. You know I’ve always wanted a sibling. Besides, I’m finally getting a father. Although, I don’t think it’s quite the same as having a father while you’re growing up. Or a real father,” she uttered in a lowered tone.

They sat in silence for a moment, the comment hanging in the air like a dagger threatening to descend. Jessica changed the subject.

“
Hey, Amy’s got some wonderful news, too.”

“
Yes, I know,” Sarah said.

Jessica slumped back, disappointed. “She doesn’t waste any time in these sorts of things, does she? I suppose she already knows about you and Grant as well.” She nodded her head in agreement toward the phone. “I understand. Of course, it would have been hard to tell Randy without Amy finding out. Well, it doesn’t really matter,” she said, but of course, it did.

“
Are you sure you’re not upset. You sound depressed.”

“
No, really, of course, I’m not depressed. In fact, I’m very happy. If you could see my face right now you would see that I’m smiling.” She smiled wide in a mock gesture, just so she wouldn’t be lying.

“
I have to go now. I have a bunch of things to do. Did I tell you I’m taking a trip to California?” She rolled her eyes. “Oh, I see—Randy did. Well, anyway, I really do have to run. I’ll talk to you later. I promise to come see you as soon as I get back from California. We have a lot of planning to do for the wedding. I love you. I’ll see you when I get back.”