Cover Model (10 page)

“That’s my Connor.” Her voice is all smiles again. “Would you like to celebrate later?. Just the two of us?”

“I don’t know how long I’m gonna be here, G. I’m still signing autographs and the line is out the door. I don’t know when I’m gonna finish.”

“Have you signed any breasts yet?” There’s an edge of envy in her voice.

“Hundreds. Tits all over the place.” I say it sarcastically so she’ll wonder if I’m fuckin with her or telling the truth. The truth is yes, I’ve signed plenty. One woman said she wanted her tattoo artist to ink my signature into her skin.

“You must enjoy being the finest fox in the henhouse.”

“You know you’re the only hen in my henhouse, Gloria.” It’s bullshit. But it’s what she wants to hear. Gloria was never interested in the truth.

“That’s right,” she purrs. “Let’s keep it that way.” She sighs thoughtfully. “But I know you have a part to play. Sign all the breasts you want. It’s good for business. Just don’t sleep with any of your fans. That would be bad for business.” It’s a warning.

“Sure. No fuckin the fans. Got it.”

“Then we’re on the same page.” Gloria likes to pretend I’m on a short leash.

“Always, G.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me. You’re there all weekend, right?” She’s trying to trip me up.

“Right. All weekend.”

“Good. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”

“Great. Laters.” I end the call.

One of these days, I’m going to kick Gloria Powers to the curb.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

ELECTRA

“I can’t get over how many hot men there are at the show,” Romeo swoons.

Austin and I bumped into Romeo when we returned to the convention floor to cruise the crowded aisles. The second I find Connor, I’m going to drag a good interview out of him with dental pliers if I have to. Austin is snapping candids as we make our way toward Autograph Alley. It’s taking us forever to get there because of all the people squeezed inside the hall. I bet the show has exceeded maximum capacity by at least a thousand attendees.

“Earth to Electra,” Romeo says.

“Sorry. You were saying something about men? This place is all women.”

“I mean the other cover models,” Romeo says. “They’re everywhere.”

I hadn’t noticed. Why? Because I’m thinking about my article and I’m thinking about Connor and what we did in that meeting room two hours ago.

But now that I look around, I realize Romeo is right. The hot muscled men stand head and shoulders above the women, either at the author booths or circulating in the aisles. The women surround them to flirt and pose for pictures. Some of the models are shirtless, showcasing their incredible physiques. Others, equally gorgeous, wear period costumes: ancient Egyptian princes, Greek gladiators, loin-clothed barbarians, pirates, and everything in between. A few guys sport charcoal gray suits, who I assume are supposed to be Christian Grey from the 50 Shades books.

“Wow,” I marvel. “You’re right, Romeo. There really are a lot of beautiful men here.”

“I know,” he beams. “I feel like a kid in a man candy store! Too bad all of these hulking hunks are straight.”

“How do you know?”

“I asked.”

“All of them?”

“It didn’t take long. I work quickly. Tho I still haven’t asked your friend the photographer.” Romeo nods toward Austin who is busy taking photos and doesn’t hear us. “He sure is cute. But he’s obviously
far
more interested in you than me.”

I wrinkle my nose, “I think he has a girlfriend.”

“Perhaps. But he keeps checking out your fabulous ass.”

“Really?”

“
Yes
, your ass is fabulous, and
yes
, really. But I imagine you’ve been too busy thinking about that illicit kiss you shared with Connor up in the meeting room to notice.”

I grimace. “Is it that obvious?”

“You
know
you’d love to have Connor vajizzle your clizzle, girlfriend.”

I break into laughter. “You sure have a way with words, Romeo.”

“I attribute it to my fondness for the bard.”

“Shakespeare?”

“Yes! Are you a fan of the bard as well?”

I chuckle, “Um, not so much. But I read enough Shakespeare in high school that I’m pretty sure he never used the phrase
vajizzle my clizzle
.”

“Then you must not be familiar with
The Comedy of Errors
.”

“I don’t know that one. But I doubt they say
vajizzle my clizzle
in it.”

“Then I suggest you read it.”

I frown. “Really?”

He breaks into a mischievous smile. “Kidding.”

We wander past more booths.

Romeo stops in his tracks. “What pray-tell is
this
?!” He drags me over to a booth filled with extremely lifelike male mannequins. The sign on the banner at the back of the booth reads
The Real Dude
.

“It’s a realistic sex doll!” Romeo practically squeals.

“The
Real
Dude?” I wince. “That is
so
gross. I can’t imagine any woman buying a realistic sex doll.”

“Who said it was for women?” Romeo titters as he steps up to the nearest doll, which is dressed in a charcoal gray suit. “Hey look, it’s Christian
Gay
!”

I can’t help but laugh.

As I examine the dolls, I notice they all have a blank look on their faces. “Don’t you think they’re kind of creepy?”

“Not at all,” Romeo muses.

I lean closer. “They don’t look very real to me.”

Romeo grabs the crotch. “Seems real enough to me! I can even feel
veins
,” he moans.

“What are you—” That’s when I notice the life-size doll has mammoth wood, or should I say plastic or latex or whatever it is, under its slacks and Romeo is
stroking
it. “Romeo!”

People walking by gawk and giggle.

Romeo jiggles the fake dick of the suited doll so vigorously the whole doll starts to sway back and forth on its stand.

“Please
release
the merchandise, sir!” the nerdy guy running the booth says sharply, glaring at Romeo.

“But I’m trying to give him a hand release right now!” Romeo gibbers.

The booth guy grabs at Romeo, who finally lets go.

“Okay, okay,” Romeo pouts. “But you know the doll was enjoying it.”

“
Iiii
wasn’t,” booth guy says seriously. “Please leave, sir. And don’t come back.”

Romeo sulks over to me and mutters, “Prude.”

“Let’s go, Romeo.” I pull on his arm.

“I got photos of all of that,” Austin chuckles while scrolling through them on the back of his camera.

My eyes bulge in horror. The idea of someone having photos of
me
or anyone else I know doing something so incredibly embarrassing is horrifying. They could easily be used as blackmail material.

Romeo is obviously not concerned. He leans against Austin’s arm. “Let me see! Oooh! You got my good side in that one. Oh! That one’s a keeper! I look very dashing, don’t you think?”

“Totally,” Austin grins.

“Can you email them to me?”

“Sure,” Austin laughs. “You want prints?”

“Can you make me a life size one? It’ll be the next best thing to having the actual doll!”

“Let’s go, you two,” I giggle, pulling them along.

After another twenty minutes of shouldering through the dense crowd, we make it to Autograph Alley. The line of women waiting for Connor is
really
long. It snakes up and back so many times, I can’t tell where it ends. I don’t know how I’m going to manage interviewing him like this.

I move up to the security ropes around Connor’s table to get a better view. Connor is not shirtless like I expected. He’s wearing a red Rom Com Con STAFF T-shirt someone must’ve given him. It stretches nicely over his bulging chest and shoulders.

Maybe I can interview him while he’s signing autographs? I watch for a while. I’m surprised by how polite and gracious Connor is with everyone. He has a friendly smile for every single woman. He certainly wasn’t that nice to me. Even more annoying is the fact that all the women are practically groping Connor every chance they get, thrusting their boobs in his face and god knows what else. Why do they have to be so shameless?

Not that I care.

Connor, on the other hand, looks like a pig in shit. He’s having the time of his life basking in the adulation.

That’s when I realize the whole Connor kiss earlier was just a joke. Truth Or Dare nonsense. It wasn’t real. There’s a reason why I always called him The Con Man. Nothing about Connor is real. Having sex with him would’ve been a
huge
mistake. I would’ve been one more fuck for him. He’d forget all about me by morning, like he has done with every other girl he’s had sex with. Because he knows a hundred other women will be along a minute later.

I was stupid to think he was dancing for
me
when he was on that stage. He was dancing for himself.

Like he said, this is just his job.

And I’m here to do mine.

That’s it and nothing more.

I wish I could leave.

I
should
leave.

Too bad I have rent to pay.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>

CONNOR

“Oh my god! This is so exciting! I finally get to meet you, Connor!” The woman saying it stands across from me at the table where I’ve been sitting and signing autographs non-stop for an hour.

You would think having all these women worship me would go straight to my head. Both of them. All it does is make me feel ten times worse about being here and doing this. I don’t deserve this. People who do good things deserve this level of praise. Not me. I should be in jail or six feet under.

I sigh to myself between fans.

Moments like this make me feel like the only thing I’ve figured out about my life is how to cover up the pain. Nobody wants to know about your pain. When people ask you how’s it going, they usually don’t want to hear you say “Shitty.”

From the outside, I look like I have my shit together. On the inside, everything has gone to shit. I’m a mess that can’t be fixed. You don’t come back from what I’ve been through. You never get over it. The guilt eats away at your guts until you’re nothing but a shell of regret. When people say at the end of your life you regret the things you didn’t do, they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s because they never did anything really stupid, something so stupid you wish every single night you
hadn’t
done it. That’s how my life played out.

—SCREAM-SCREAM-SCREAM—

My entire body goes cold as the memory bites into me. I push it away, but I still feel icy tendrils snaking through my guts.

I’ll regret that shit until the day I die.

Until then, I’ll keep acting like I’m not as miserable as I feel.

“Seriously, Connor, you are such an incredible dancer!” the woman squeaks.

“Thanks.” I force out a grin.

“Were you ever, you know, an exotic dancer or something?” She looks ready to faint, she’s so excited.

I do my best to tune into her excitement so I don’t sound like a corpse. “No, but thanks anyway.” I peel a color headshot off the stack on the table next to me. ‘What’s your name?”

“Kimberly. But you can call me Kim.” Her upper lip is quivering. It’s like she’s losing her mind talking to me.

“Kim it is,” I scribble her name on the bottom of the photo and sign it
XOXO Connor Hughes
.

“Oh my god, thank you.”

“Any time.” I give her my best yearbook picture smile.

She blows on the signature, drying it. “Would you believe I have every one of your books?”

They’re not
my
books. I’m just paid to be on the covers, but I’m not gonna bother to correct her. “Every one? I’ve done hundreds.”

She nods confidently, “214 to be exact.”

“Wow.” I forgot how busy I’ve been for the past five years. “Is that right?”

“Yup,” she grins proudly. “I have a few with me, if you want to sign them?”

Paula, the woman in the red Rom Com Con STAFF shirt standing beside Kim, says to her, “The limit is two books per person.”

“Okay,” Kim says, shaking nervously. She reaches frantically into her bulging book bag and pulls out two. One is
Stepbrother Obsessed
, one of my favorites. I was particularly pumped that day. The other is the latest. She lays both on the table.

I scribble my name inside both and hand them back to Kim.

“Next!” Paula calls out, waving the next person in line forward to the table.

“Oh!” Kim gasps. “I wanted to get a photo with Connor!”

“I’m sorry,” Paula says, “but you’ll have to get back in line.”

“It’s okay,” I say, standing up.

Kim already has her smart phone out.

I lean over the table and put my arm around Kim. She snaps a selfie of the two of us. “How was that?” I ask.

“Perfect,” Kim grins. “Thank you so much, Connor!” She lunges at me, wrapping her arms around my neck, and gives me a huge smooch on the cheek. “You don’t know how much this means to me!”

“I think I do,” I smile genuinely. “Thanks for coming out.”

“Next!” Paula hollers, practically pushing Kim away from the signing table.

That’s when I notice Electra and that Romeo dude standing off to the side. And some tall tan surfer looking photographer whispering in Electra’s ear. What’s that shit about? I watch them from the corner of my eye as I sign another autograph.

Surfer Dude says something that makes Electra laugh. A happy laugh. I’ve never seen that look on her face and it pisses me the fuck off she never smiled that way for me.

Who the fuck is this guy?

Electra laughs again and she looks happy. I’ve never seen her happy. I didn’t think she could do happy.

Surfer Dude glances at me for a second then touches Lex’s elbow. What the fuck is he thinking? That’s my fuckin elbow!

Lex glances at me briefly.

I’m not looking right at her, but I can tell she’s looking at me from the corner of my eye.

She giggles again as Surfer Dude says whatever.

Are they talkin shit about me? What the fuck! Now I’m pissed. I want to jump over the table and butt in to their conversation until I find out what the fuck they’re saying. If I have to, I’ll punch Surfer Dude in the teeth. But I’m stuck signing autographs.