Courting the Enemy (14 page)

He stroked her cheek, rubbed the pad of his thumb across her lower lip, felt the heat begin to rise in her…and in him. Her soft moan was too much, an invitation for the kiss he’d been deliberately postponing.

When his mouth settled over hers, tasting, savoring, coaxing, she responded with more abandon than she ever had before, her lips parting, her tongue sweeping across his lips. She moved restlessly beside him, an invitation for more adventurous exploration.

Beneath the wool of her sweater, her skin was hot and soft as silk. Inch by tempting inch, he slid the sweater higher, pressing kisses in its wake until she trembled. Impatient now, she ripped the sweater over her head and tossed it aside, but when she would have unclasped her bra, Grady stopped her.

“Not just yet,” he said, his gaze feasting on the swell of breasts concealed by plain white no-nonsense cotton. Somehow that image seemed to epitomize Karen, a devastating mix of fiery sensuality and practicality.

He ran a finger along the edge of the fabric, where pale skin burned beneath his touch. He skimmed a caress across her nipple, which thrust against the soft fabric. When he could stand it no longer, he bent and drew that hard, tight bud into his mouth, feeling the shudder that washed over her.

“You’re torturing me, you know that, don’t you?” she whispered on a gasp.

“Am I?” He was delighted by the admission.

“You needn’t sound so pleased with yourself,” she grumbled, then reached for the snap on his jeans. She had it open and the zipper down before he could prevent it.

And then she was touching him, adding to the pulsing heat of his arousal, sending him closer to the edge than he wanted to be.

“Clever woman,” he said, shifting out of her reach. “But not just yet. We have places to go and things to try before we get to that point.”

“Oh, really?” She seemed intrigued with that. “Tell me.”

He shook his head. “I’ll show you.”

He resumed the concentrated attention to her breasts, finally taking off the bra and circling each tight peak with his tongue before drawing it into his mouth. Her hips bucked as he took her closer and closer to release just with that slow, suckling assault on her senses.

Satisfied that he’d distracted her, he slid off her shoes and jeans, then began working his way up silky calf and rounded thigh with kisses meant to tease and torment. She was writhing when he slipped his fingers beneath her panties and found her slick and ready. One wicked caress, then two, and she was coming apart, her eyes wide with surprise as waves of pleasure washed over her.

“Not fair,” she accused when she finally caught her breath.

“Oh, darlin’, it’s not over. We’re just getting started.”

To prove it, he shucked his jeans and jockey shorts, retrieved a condom from his wallet, then started once again to coax her toward a whole new peak.

This time he allowed her clever, wicked hands to roam where she wished until at last, knowing his restraint was at the breaking point, he poised above her parted legs. Their gazes locked, he slowly entered her, withdrew, then thrust deeper into that welcoming heat.

With each thrust, her hips rose to meet him, as her flushed skin turned slick with sweat. When he pressed a kiss to the pulse at the base of her throat, it was thundering, as was his.

Her name was on his lips when the explosion tore through him, his shudders setting off hers, rippling through both of them for what seemed an eternity, until at last they faded into quiet, exhausted satisfaction.

He rolled onto his back, taking her with him, holding her as if she were the most precious, fragile gift he’d ever been given, though he knew she would never, ever appreciate being considered anything but strong. This…everything about her…was amazing.

And then he felt a drop of moisture fall from her face onto his. One quick glance told the story: These weren’t happy tears. Though she quickly, impatiently tried to brush them away, it was too late. He had seen the truth. They were tears of regret and sorrow.

Grady felt his heart break in two. How could she regret anything so perfect?

It was Caleb, of course. Always Caleb. Grady had to wonder, would there ever come a day when Caleb Hanson
didn’t
share a bed with them?

G
rady had seen her tears, felt them, Karen realized as she lay in his arms. She felt the sudden stirring of tension, saw the distance in his eyes where only moments ago there had been such fiery passion.

When he eased away from her, then turned his back, she felt as if she had betrayed two men, not one.

Eventually she slid out of bed and went to her own room, where she showered as if that could wipe away not just the evidence of their lovemaking but her regrets as well.

How could she have been so wrong? she wondered. She’d been so sure she was ready, that her feelings for Grady ran deep enough for this next step in their relationship.

And they did, dammit. She had felt alive and treasured when he’d been making love to her. She had
responded in a way she never had with Caleb, without any inhibitions at all.

“Oh, God, that’s it,” she murmured, burying her face in her pillow. It wasn’t just that awful sense of having betrayed someone that she’d been feeling, but guilt that she had felt more, given more, with Grady Blackhawk than she ever had with the man she’d married.

The passion she had shared with Caleb had been quieter, less intense, comfortable—what a terrible word, she thought—even at the beginning. They had been perfectly matched, no extreme lows or giddy highs, just steady,
comfortable
companions, partners in the running of the ranch.

There was nothing easy or comfortable about Grady. He was a man who tested the limits, who demanded responses that reached new heights. She’d just experienced one of those amazing, astonishing highs. Now, alone in her own bed, she was crashing to its opposite low.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered aloud.

Being with Grady put her at risk, rocked her emotionally in a way she wasn’t prepared to handle. She was afraid to trust this new passion, afraid the fire would burn itself out and she’d be left with nothing.

It had happened before. She had lost Caleb, the man she had expected to spend her entire life with. And if solid, dependable Caleb could leave her, then what guarantee did she have that a volatile man like Grady might not as well, in one way or another? She wasn’t sure she could survive another loss. Or the discovery that he had merely been manipulating her in order to get his hands on her land.

Too late,
a voice in her head mocked her.

Karen sighed. It was true—for better or for worse, she was already involved with the man who slept across the hall. No matter the reason, whether she lost him now or years from now, it would hurt.

By the time the first pale slivers of dawn crept into the sky, she was no more certain of what she needed to do than she had been when she’d crawled into her own bed the night before. Nor was she prepared for a face-to-face encounter with Grady so soon.

She crept downstairs, drank a quick cup of coffee and nibbled at a piece of toast, then all but ran to the barn and saddled her horse.

It was only a little past daybreak when she rode out on Ginger. The air was crisp and smelled of approaching snow. Thick gray clouds rolled across the sky. Karen rode hard for an hour, exhausting herself, the wind whipping at her hair and stinging her cheeks.

The exercise cleared her head, but as she rode back into the paddock, all of the turmoil came back with a vengeance at the sight of Grady waiting, a fierce scowl on his face.

“Where have you been?” he demanded, even as he helped her out of the saddle.

She shrugged off his hands. “I should think that would be obvious,” she said, leading her horse into the heated barn to be unsaddled and rubbed down.

“Not to me, it isn’t,” he snapped. “I thought we had agreed you weren’t going anywhere alone until we know what the hell is happening around here.”

She flinched at the worry underscoring his words. She had completely forgotten about the danger in her haste to retreat from a different kind of threat.

“I’m sorry if you were worried,” she said, meeting his gaze for the first time.

He sighed and raked his hand through his hair as he surveyed her from head to toe. “You didn’t run into any problems?”

“None,” she assured him. “I didn’t see a single soul, nor was there any evidence of more fence down, sick cattle or anything else out of the ordinary.”

Some of the concern faded from his eyes then, only to be replaced by what looked surprisingly like sorrow. “Why did you run?”

She thought about that, debated how truthful to be, then settled for total honesty. “I was afraid to see you because I knew I had hurt you last night.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, well, I’ll get over it.”

“You shouldn’t have to. What I did was unfair. I went to bed with you willingly. No, it was more than that,” she corrected. “I went eagerly.”

“And then you regretted it,” he concluded.

“But not for the reason you think, not entirely anyway.”

“You’re going to have to explain that one to me.”

It was hard to tell him, but she knew she owed him the truth. “The reason I felt lousy was because I felt so much more with you than I ever had with Caleb.” When Grady would have spoken, she held up her hand. “I’m not comparing exactly. What Caleb and I had together was wonderful—our life, our marriage, all of it. I will never forget those feelings for as long as I live.”

“How reassuring,” Grady said with an unmistakable edge of bitterness.

Karen saw that she was going about this all wrong, but she was still sorting through her emotions herself. How could she be expected to explain them so Grady would understand? She knew, looking into his shad
owed eyes, though, that she had to try, or they would be lost before they’d even begun. He had too much pride to stay with a woman whose heart would always belong to someone else.

“You like steak, right?” she asked.

He was clearly startled by the question. “You’re going to get into a discussion of beef with me?”

“Just hear me out,” she pleaded. “I’m trying to say this so you’ll understand. Do you like steak?”

“I’m a cattle rancher. What do you think?”

“Okay, then—are all cuts of beef the same?”

“Of course not.”

“So, they’re the same, but different?” she prodded.

“Yes,” he agreed, though he still looked puzzled by the analogy.

“A plain old strip steak is tasty, right? Enjoyable?”

He nodded.

“But a filet takes it to a different level, wouldn’t you agree?”

Understanding flared in his eyes, followed quickly by a hint of pure arrogance. “Are you saying I’m filet?”

She bit back a smile at the typically male response. “In a manner of speaking, but I wouldn’t gloat about it if I were you,” she warned. “I’m still not all that sure I’m ready for a steady diet of filet.”

He grinned for the first time all morning. “I’ll bet I can change your mind.”

She regarded him with a mixture of amusement and impatience. “Men,” she muttered. “Give them a compliment and it goes straight to their heads.”

“Or other parts of their anatomy,” Grady said, taking a step in her direction, then another, until he had her backed against a stall door.

When his mouth slanted across hers, her pulse leaped and her doubts fled. The kiss was persuasive, needy, maybe just a little desperate. But then, she was feeling a little desperate herself.

Feeling her senses swim, she was somehow reassured that last night’s reaction hadn’t been a fluke. Passion seethed just beneath the surface once again, ready to claim her and him.

Just not here and not now, she thought with a resigned sigh as Grady moved away, clearly satisfied by having made his point—that he could make her crave filet…crave him…any time he wanted.

That knowledge filled her with hope, and guilt, all over again. But the guilt wasn’t as sharp somehow, she realized with a sense of bemusement. And that was something she would have to wrestle with another time.

Grady needed to get away. He’d claimed a victory of sorts with Karen in the barn. He’d gotten an admission from her that she wanted him just as badly now as she had the night before, even if she had a few demons left to fight.

But the temptation to haul her back upstairs was a little too powerful. That wasn’t the answer for either of them. A little time and space were called for.

He sent her in to fix them both the breakfast they’d missed earlier, then went in search of Dooley to make sure he and Hank would be around to keep an eye on things. Assured that they wouldn’t let Karen out of their sight, he joined her in the kitchen.

Over bacon and eggs, he announced his intention of going back to his place to make sure his foreman
had everything under control and to pick up the things he’d need for the next few days.

“Now who’s running scared?” she taunted.

“Maybe I am,” he agreed, then offered, “You could always come along.”

He watched her as she considered the challenge, then shook her head.

“No, I have things to do around here.”

He regarded her intently, then warned, “If you leave the house, make sure Dooley or Hank knows where you are. Preferably take one of them with you.”

She nodded.

Grady paused by her chair and pressed a kiss against her cheek. “We’re going to work this out, darlin’. All of it.”

“I know,” she said softly, but with more conviction than she’d ever expressed before.

Once Grady was on the road, he found that the solitude he’d wanted wasn’t nearly as comforting as he’d anticipated or hoped for. Increasingly impatient, he floored the accelerator and made it to his ranch in record time. Too restless to deal with the packing he’d intended to do, he went to the stables and saddled the fastest, most temperamental horse he owned. He needed a hard ride and a challenge. He didn’t miss the irony of knowing that Karen had crept out of the house that morning, feeling the exact same desire.

At the top of a rise, he dismounted and surveyed the rugged terrain spread before him. It was enough. In fact, it was more than enough for him, for a legacy.

Getting the rest had been about pride, not need. He’d accepted the mission because it had been important to people he loved, to ancestors he’d wanted
to honor. But maybe it wasn’t his fight. Maybe it was time to let it go and seize what mattered most to him—Karen’s love and the future they could have together.

Before he could be certain of that, he needed to see his grandfather one more time.

As if the old man had read his mind, he was waiting for Grady when he walked into the house after his ride. Glad as he was to see him, Grady was suspicious about the timing.

“What do you want?” Grady asked, regarding him cautiously.

“Is that any way to greet your own grandfather?”

“It is when this is the second visit you’ve paid recently, after years of insisting that I come to you.”

“Well, my messages didn’t seem to be getting any response. I came to see why.”

“What messages?”

“The ones I’ve been leaving on that infernal machine of yours for days now.”

“I must have missed them. I just got in. Is there a problem of some sort?”

“Why don’t you tell me? I’ve been waiting for you since dawn. Either you went out very early or you never came home last night. I thought I heard your truck earlier, but you didn’t come inside. Have you been with the lovely widow Hanson?”

Grady scowled. “Why do you insist on calling her that?”

“To remind you of who she is.”

“Believe me, I grapple with that every minute of every day.”

His grandfather’s gaze narrowed. “But some
thing’s changed, hasn’t it? You’ve finally realized that you’re falling in love with her.”

“Perhaps,” Grady agreed.

“And how does she feel about that?”

“She’s struggling a bit with it.”

“Yes, I imagine she would be. Her loyalty to her husband’s memory is to be admired.”

“It’s damned inconvenient,” Grady retorted, then sighed. “And admirable. Now let’s get back to my original question. Why are you here?”

“I’ve been worried about you. I was afraid you might not recognize what was in front of your face until it was too late.” He smiled, his expression satisfied. “I was wrong, so I’ll be going.”

“You want me to choose Karen over the land, don’t you?” Grady said with some surprise. “That’s what these unexpected little visits have been about.”

“Getting the land always meant more to you than it did to me. And, yes, I think love is always more important than anything else. Your father knew that, even if he was unwise.”

“You knew about him and Caleb’s mother?” Grady asked, surprised by that.

“Only after the fact.”

“How would you have counseled
him
—since you believe so strongly in love?”

For the first time in Grady’s memory, his grandfather appeared at a loss. “Weighing love against a father’s duty to a child is not a choice I would want to make. It turned out that everyone lost. That’s the real tragedy.”

He reached for Grady and gave him a fierce hug. “But you…you make me proud.”

Grady’s heart filled, his eyes stung. He had always
hoped to hear those words, always believed that the way to earn them was by reclaiming the land that had been stolen so long ago. But Thomas Blackhawk had surprised many people in his lifetime. Now Grady was among them.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice husky with emotion.

“Just be happy.”

Grady nodded. “I’m beginning to believe in happiness, Grandfather.”

“And in love?”

“That, too.” He just prayed that Karen would find her way to the same conclusion.

“How could I do it?” Karen asked, feeling miserable.

Uncomfortable with her own thoughts, she had called the Calamity Janes to come to her rescue. Those of her friends who were available had been at the ranch within the hour. To Karen’s surprise, Lauren had arrived with Gina, claiming that she had a day off from shooting her latest movie and had wanted to check up on everyone back home. Only Cassie was missing, though she’d promised to drop by the second her shift ended at Stella’s.

Now they were all seated around the kitchen table, cups of coffee in front of them, along with warm slices of a coffee cake Gina had whipped up within minutes of walking in the door. It was just like old times, though back then it had been brownies and chocolate chip cookies coming from the oven.