Courtin' Jayd (9 page)

“Not at all. And I hope you don't take it personally when we prove your theory wrong,” Jeremy says, also crossing his arms over his chest. This conversation is about way more than basketball. After Rah found out Jeremy was embarrassed by what he considers to be me and most other sistahs' strength, he's no longer cool with entertaining Jeremy. I'm sure he wouldn't be welcome at a session anytime soon.

“Yeah okay,” Rah says, laughing at Jeremy's statement. “Are you ready, queen?” Rah says looking down at me. I see Jeremy's jaw tighten again and I know this isn't the end of the battle. I also have a feeling Jeremy was going to offer me a ride home before he realized Rah is now my designated escort.

“Yeah,” I say, following Rah toward where his car is usually parked. Jeremy doesn't move and his eyes make me want to hear him out. “Can you give me a minute please?” Rah looks back at me and Jeremy, not wanting to go, but he respects my wishes and leaves me to talk to my other ex. What can he really say? He spent the majority of the week dodging me because his baby mama jumped his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend. Me talking to Jeremy is the least of our problems.

“I'll start the car,” he says, eyeing Jeremy hard before leaving us to talk. I don't know exactly what Jeremy has to say, but I want to hear it.

“You can do better than him, you know,” Jeremy says, smiling in that cocky way that drives me mad. Where does he get off judging my friends?

“Jeremy, you can't honestly stand here and tell me I can do better than Rah. You don't even know him.” He'd hung out at a couple of sessions at Rah's house but that's not enough to warrant a comment like that. He's just hating on Rah and that's not cool.

“No, but I know you and I know a girl on the rebound when I see one.” What the hell did he just say to me? I wouldn't be on the rebound if he'd behaved better when we were together.

“I was on the rebound when I got with you, so what's the difference? It seems like we're always on the rebound.”

“No, that's not true. Only when you care about someone does the rebound take effect and I know you cared about me and still do.” Jeremy takes a step closer to me, breathing heavy. If he moves any closer my face will be in his chest, making it very easy for him to kiss me.

“Jeremy, you and I both know we're too different to be together and that's that.”

“So you choose to go backwards because he's familiar? That's not the Jayd I know and love.” Did he just say that he loves me? I'm standing in the empty hall looking for the cameras to catch this practical joke on film but there are none. This shit is real and it's making me dizzy.

“Stop saying you love me,” I say. Once was enough and I didn't take him very seriously then. “You don't even know what love is.”

“I don't? How would you know if you don't give me another chance to prove it to you?” Being in love sounds nice, but in my experience it's way overrated. And people seem to fall in and out of love like it's a roller-coaster ride at Six Flags. And I'm not down for the ride anymore.

“You'll only love me if I conform to your versions of right and wrong and I can't do that,” I say, walking past him and heading for a waiting Rah. “I wish it were different Jeremy, but I'll always be me and I like myself just the way that I am.”

“I know that,” he says following me. “I admit it's a lot to deal with but I'll learn.” I look back into his eyes and see that he's sincere in his gesture, no matter how unknowingly demeaning it is.

“I don't want you to have to learn and I damn sure don't want to see that look on your face like you had when I spoke back to Mrs. Bennett.” The look on his face now confirms my feelings. “Let's just be friends but without the judgment. See you Monday,” I say.

Jeremy's mouth is wide open as I leave the empty hall, ready to deal with Rah too. They both need to know where I stand. Neither one of them are ready to devote themselves fully to a relationship but don't want anyone else to have me. On the rebound or not, I don't want to be anyone else's rebound either. And we're going to get to the bottom of Rah's issues once and for all.

“S
o what was that all about?” Rah says, putting the car into gear as soon as my behind hits the seat. Jeremy followed me out to his car parked across the street without saying another word. Rah's vexed and he has no reason to be. But boys will be boys, I guess.

“Damn, can a sistah get in the car all the way before you pull off?” I barely had a chance to close the door shut and he's already at the stop sign.

“You know I don't like to be kept waiting,” he says, blaring the radio as loud as he can. He's not drowning me out this time. I reach for the stereo knob and turn the volume down, causing more heat from an already pissed Rah. “Jayd, I know you know better than that, girl,” he says, returning T.I. to his loud volume, again trying to drown me out. He's the one who should know better. If I've got my mind set to something, there is no music loud enough to silence me.

“You can be as mad as you want but we're talking about this now,” I say, pushing the sound off completely. Rah speeds ahead toward the beach and I wish I could jump in the water like the surfers in the distance. Jeremy's probably on his way there now to free his mind in the waves. I admire the freedom his lifestyle allows him. But no such luck here. Rah and I have a different reality and we need to get in sync or we'll have nothing left to look at together.

“What's up with you and the white boy?” he says, getting right to the heart of the matter. One thing I can count on from Rah when he does decide to share is brutal honesty always.

“We're just friends,” I say, telling the truth though Rah doesn't look like he's buying it. He abruptly makes a right turn onto Pacific Coast Highway, causing other drivers to honk their horns at us. Even the bike riders and rollerbladers look crazily at the red Acura Legend flying down the busy street. The windows have limo tint so they can't see who's inside but I'm sure because of the appearance of the car and the loud bass rattling the trunk they know two things: the driver is young and male. Guessing he's black is also a bet they're probably willing to take.

“Okay black man, act out if you want to. But you know these Redondo Beach cops would love to give your ass a ticket, so keep playing,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest and looking out my window. Unwillingly heeding my advice, Rah eases up on the gas pedal and relaxes his grip on the leather steering wheel.

“Don't tell me you're just friends, Jayd, when we both know that's B.S.,” he says. His phone vibrates on the dash, making me jump. “Are you back to kicking it with that punk after he already showed you his true color?” He turns down the phone and throws it back on the dash. He must be really hot to toss the Samsung like that.

“No, Rah, and there's more to Jeremy than his shortsighted view of my attitude.” I can't believe I'm defending Jeremy to Rah when I know Rah's right. I shouldn't even entertain a friendship with Jeremy but I can't help it. Just like I can't explain my attraction and patience for Rah, I can't explain it with Jeremy either. “He's my friend and he's a good person. You've hung out with him before and you know I'm telling the truth.”

“No Jayd, I don't know that. All I know is how he made you feel a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you're the one who needs reminding of who your real friends are and who's simply frontin'.” After a few moments of silence Rah's phone vibrates again and this time he answers the call.

“What's up, man?” Rah says. “I'm headed back to Jayd's mom's house now and then to the pad. Are we still on for tonight's session?” He must be talking to Nigel, which reminds me I need to holla at Rah about Mickey's master plan.

“Tell Nigel I said hi.” I reach into my purse and pull out a half-eaten pack of Starburst. I usually eat the pink ones first because they're my favorite. Back in the day I would take out all the red ones and save them for Rah. But now I eat the whole pack myself without a second thought.

“Alright man. I'll holla at you tomorrow. You take care of your baby and Jayd says what's up. Later,” Rah says, hanging up the phone and returning it to the dashboard. “Nigel said ‘what's up' and he'll see us at the session tomorrow. He and Mickey are staying in tonight.” If only Nigel knew it might not be his baby he's taking care of—that's where Rah has to come in whether he wants to or not.

“Did you ask Nigel how he knows the baby's his when Mickey has another man she's dealing with?” Rah stops at the red light and turns to look me in the eyes. I don't know what he's searching for but his look tells me he can't believe I just asked him that question. I don't know why he's so surprised when he knows how the games are played out here.

“I don't have to ask my nigga nothing like that. Is there a reason I should?” The light turns green and I wonder how far I should go with this conversation. I don't want to insult Nigel's intelligence nor Rah's fragile ego when it comes to his boy, but somebody has to say something before Nellie does. If she spills the baby beans it'll sound like hating and this is too serious for stupid beef.

“Well, it doesn't seem smart to claim a baby that might belong to another dude, especially a notorious gangster like Mickey's man.” I cross my right leg over my left and straighten out my Guess jeans and sweatshirt. It was too chilly to wear my sandals today so I opted for my Nikes, even if they do need cleaning. Mama would kill me if I walked outside with my feet uncovered in this cold air. If I caught a cold I'd never hear the end of it.

“I can't call it, Jayd,” Rah says. He looks like he's thought the same thing himself though, and I know I'm on the right track. Maybe he'll convince Nigel to hold off on happy family plans until a paternity test can be done. “My nigga's not dumb.”

“I know that, Rah, but he's not thinking clearly about the entire situation.” Rah looks torn between what he knows is rational and being a good friend. “I know you don't want to call him out, but what if the baby's not his and he gets caught up paying child support or even worse, marrying Mickey?”

“Wait a minute,” Rah says, waving his hand like I've committed a serious foul. “This is your homegirl you're talking about. Why would it be so bad if they did raise the baby and get married? That's a happy ending, ain't it?”

“Hell no,” I yell so loud the people riding in the car next to us turn around and stare through the top of my cracked window. Rah promptly rolls it up from his driver's side controls and turns the air on low. “There are no happy endings when friends of mine are being deceived. I've known Nigel for much longer and what Mickey's trying to pull is wrong.” Damn, I let too much slip and suddenly, rather than having an innocent conversation out of concern, I've turned it into an act of disclosure.

“What are you talking about, Jayd?” he says turning onto Aviation Boulevard, where we can see the airplanes lined up for takeoff from LAX. I wish I could get on one of those jets right about now. “What's Mickey trying to pull?”

“Nothing, Rah,” I say, trying to clean up my slip. I'm not going to let Mickey get away with this for too much longer but I also don't want to be the one to rat her out. It's a thin line between helping and hating. “I'm just saying that Nigel should get a paternity test for everyone's sake.”

“
You know what it is
.” T.I. announces a call and I dig into my purse searching for my cell. I hope my man gets off on those gun charges. Not that I think T.I. should be out buying guns or nothing like that. But my brothas are always getting caught up in one way or another and just like Mike Vick, the haters will blow it out of proportion and try to make him pay well beyond what he deserves.

“Damn, Jayd, you need to clean out your purse,” Rah says as I continue to search for my phone. Before I can get to it, it stops ringing, and luckily too. The call was from Jeremy. I wonder what he wants to talk about now. He saw me leave with Rah and knows how long it takes to get to Inglewood from school, so why would he call knowing I'm still with him?

“I know that smart-ass,” I say, silencing my phone and continuing our talk. “But for real, talk to your boy about it. He has his whole life ahead of him and many more baby mamas in his future, I'm sure,” I say, trying to make Rah laugh and not think too hard about Mickey's plotting.

“He doesn't want any more baby mamas, just this one.” He looks at me from the corner of his eye and turns onto Century Boulevard, almost at my mom's. “Did I ever tell you that Nigel got this girl pregnant last year?” Now that's news I never heard.

“No, you didn't but we weren't exactly talking then, remember?” He and Nigel ended up leaving Family Christian at the same time I left and came to South Bay High. We didn't rekindle our friendships until Nigel ended up leaving Westingle to come to our school last month, so I'm out of the loop on a lot of things I'm sure.

“Right,” he says, remembering our bitter break-up over two years ago. “Well, the chick decided to have an abortion even after Nigel swore to take care of her and the baby. I think he sees this as a second chance for him.” That explains his attitude toward Mickey and her growing belly. “No matter what girls may think, niggas have feelings too, especially when it comes to our seeds.” I know he and Nigel are good brothas and good father material too.

Rah pulls up in front of my mom's house and turns off the engine. We both meditate on what he just said. Nigel has it really bad for Mickey, I know, but this situation isn't good and it can only get worse the way it's going.

“What does Tasha think of the new baby?” I ask as we exit the car. Rah grabs my weekend bag from the backseat and I take my backpack and purse from between my feet and step onto the curb.

“She doesn't know and doesn't care. Nigel broke up with her already.” Damn, I guess he is serious about making Mickey his only wifey and I bet she thinks she's hit the jack pot, at least until her man finds out. I'm sure she hasn't been as forthcoming with her man as Nigel was with his girl.

“I'm tired of this subject and of talking, period,” I say crossing the quiet street toward my mother's apartment building. I want to take a shower, do my hair, and go to bed. I did promise Rah I'd braid his hair for a set amount of twenty dollars before I settle in for the evening. If I can get five or so steady clients, I can easily make up for my pay at Simply Wholesome, and then some. If Netta lets me work with her, I can make even more money, bringing me that much closer to my transportation freedom.

“You still gone braid my hair though, right,” he says, leaning into me to give me a kiss as I unlock the multiple bolts to my mother's home, but I'm not in the mood.

“Yes, I am a professional. But don't think I've forgotten about your disappearing act this week or your rude behavior with Jeremy. You need to get over yourself for real, Rah, if we're going to stay friends.” We enter the small apartment and feel the warmth of the sweet-smelling space welcome us in.

“Well, I guess I'll be getting over myself then. Won't I, queen?” Making himself comfortable on the floor while I get settled and get my hair bag from the hall closet, I realize friendships are too valuable to be wasted but are constantly tested. And, like all challenges, I will rise to the occasion, even if that means getting hurt in the process.

 

After braiding Rah's hair, we ordered a pizza and kicked it for a little while. I can do my hair tomorrow since I don't have to work. I might go up to the restaurant and holla at Sarah and Alonzo one of these days—I miss working with them. Rah being here made me forget about how upset I was when I first opened my check, but now it's time to kick him out. No matter how cool my mom is he can't be here if and when she decides to come home from her date. We got everything straight but the issue between Nigel and Mickey, which we agree to disagree on.

“Look Jayd, I wish I could explain it but I can't. When Sandy told me she was pregnant I knew the baby was mine. I don't know how, but I just knew and she wasn't innocent either. If he wants to be her baby's daddy, then let him. It's none of our business.” I remember having this same discussion with him when he found out he was going to be a daddy. Again Rah tried to keep it from me but Sandy wasn't having it. She fronted me at lunch in front of the entire school where I was the only one out of the loop. We got down to the root of our problems that day and I didn't speak to him again until he found me through Nigel. And here we are having the same conversation about our friends.

“It is our business. That's what friends are for,” I say, playfully pushing him in the arm with my shoulder. Rah responds by holding me down on the couch and tickling me.

“Rah, stop! Let me go,” I yell at him. He eases up and lets me off the couch. “You know it's time for you to go now, right?” Half of me wants him to stay but the other half knows we need to call it quits for the evening.

“Yeah, it's about that time I guess,” he says glancing at his watch. “Are you going to walk me down? You know the rats come out at night.” Rah gets up from the couch and stretches his arms over his head, forcing his Ecko T-shirt to rise slightly above his jeans. The thin hairline on his chiseled stomach has always been one of his most attractive features to me.

“What rats? The neighborhood is rough, not dirty.” Rah smiles at me and reaches over my head to grab his jacket off the hook next to mine.