Courage (Mark of Nexus) (32 page)

The south quad didn’t sustain any structural damage, so they let us back into the dorms around four—not that many people stuck around. The news reported at least seventy-seven casualties, with dozens still in the hospital. Nobody wanted to think about that.

After Gabby patched up the gash on Rena’s forehead, she threw a bag together and headed to her parents’ place for the weekend. Whether or not she planned on telling them about the whole getting-knocked-up thing was beyond me. I’d had enough trouble dealing with everything else that had happened.

Aiden and I weren’t—
aren’t
—close by any means. To be perfectly honest, the thought of him made me want to punch something. Yes, the brain damage and whatever else ERA wired into him affected his actions, but he put his
hands
on my fiancée. My future wife. Where the hell did he get off doing that to anyone, let alone his best friend?

I didn’t know how Rena managed to keep it together. Despite what he’d almost done to her, and despite the sickening terror that pushed through her veins whenever she looked at him, she still fought to save his life. It was all I could do to keep from finishing him before Faye caved on the smok—

Rena paused mid-step, and I accidentally dragged her a few feet. We’d gone on a late night food run as a distraction, but apparently it hadn’t worked. Instead of yelling at me, she cast a sidelong glance at the mailroom. “He always got on me about the mail…”

“Do you want to go in?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want
me
to go in?”

“I don’t know.”

Comforting women—not my forte. “Do you want to hit me? Anywhere except the balls.”

That made her crack a grin, but it was fleeting. “Don’t say stuff like that. This isn’t the time for jokes.”

“Then, is it time to talk about what happened?” I asked. “Because I didn’t want to bring it up, but Cole texted me while we were at Taco Bell. He checked on Aiden after he escorted Corynn back to get her things, and he’s stable. We’re clear to visit him next week, after his…memorial service.”

“That sounds so weird.” She took a cautious step toward the dimly lit room, running her hand over the line of locks. “Visit him
after
his memorial service.”

“Yeah.”

She blew out a breath and found a tiny key on her lanyard. With quick movements, she shoved it into the lock and twisted. A bundle of envelopes lay wedged at an angle. “Surprise, surprise.”

I grunted in lieu of laughter. Too tired.

After retrieving the mail wad, she shut the locker and pulled her key out. “Flyer, postcard, something from the department of housing—probably that stupid dorm survey—another flyer, a letter…”

She wouldn’t have to fill that survey out. I talked to Zack yesterday, and the rental behind The Rec was ours—providing it survived. The plan had been to show her this weekend, but it was probably best to wait a few more days. Maybe after the service.

“Wallace.” The color drained from her cheeks as she skimmed the opened letter. “This is…this is…”

I pried the paper from her grasp. “What?”

Dear Rena,

By the time you check your mail, I may already be gone and back, but I couldn’t leave without telling you something. I decided to volunteer for the study.

Postmarked last week.
Shit.
This had to be from Aiden.

Don’t freak out, but I overheard you and Wallace talking, and I realized this was my only chance. I’ve spent my whole life being “not as.” Not as athletic, not as coordinated. It got me bullied by some and ignored by the rest, so believe me when I say I needed this.

It wasn’t anything you could’ve talked me out of. Honestly. With you being the way you are, I just couldn’t help but want to be…more. Can you blame me? And that sort of brings me to my second point…

I know you and Wallace aren’t done for good, and it’s definitely not my place to say this, but I have feelings for you. I’ve always had feelings for you. I’m just sorry I didn’t have the courage to tell you any other way. We’ll talk when I get back, okay?

Your friend,

Aiden

A lump formed in my throat as I lowered the letter, struck by the haunted look in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She dumped the rest of her mail, took the letter, and carefully folded it into a rectangle. “I’m the one who put him in a coma.”

“It was my power,” I insisted, willing to shoulder as much of the burden as possible. Anything to get that look off her face.

“It was my
choice
.”

She turned to walk away from me, and I spun her around. “Hey, you acted in self-defense. We both know that wasn’t Aiden, at the end—it was blind impulse.”

“What if he doesn’t come back, Wallace?” Her lips flattened, and the tip of her nose turned pink. I knew she was fighting back tears, so I slipped her a little of my strength and pulled her tight against my chest.

“Don’t say that,” I muttered, pressing my cheek against her hair. “ERA is the most technologically advanced company in the world. If anyone can get back the guy who wrote that letter…it’s them.”

She wrapped her arms around my waist, still clutching the paper. “But will they? Do they even need him now?”

“They need you.” I ran my hand up and down the curve of her back. “Remember Gail’s vision? They need all three of us, if they want people to buy into their perfect, eye-glazed society. We’re the only thing standing in their way.”

“So?”

“So, that gives us leverage. Faye knows we don’t trust her, but she’s not ready to kill us—not when she could potentially exploit our abilities. She’ll play nice to gain our loyalty.”

Rena pulled back with a tear-streaked grimace. “I will
never
be loyal to that woman.”

“I know.”

“I’m serious. We’ll see this ERA thing through, but when the opportunity arises…”

I smiled. “I know.”

“Well, is there anything you
don’t
know, Mr. Blake?”

“Why we’re not upstairs in my bed.” I rolled my ankle a few times and shifted. “Even non-humans need sleep. Come on…”

She kept an arm tucked around my side as we meandered toward the elevator, and Dad’s watch pressed against my back. “What makes you think I don’t want to sleep in my own bed?”

“My bed is warmer.” I pushed the up button.

“How do you know?”

“Because I plan on taking these pants off and crashing the second we get up there. Body heat equals warmth, and I have more than you do.”

She rolled her eyes.

All jokes aside, I wanted to keep an eye on her. The girl had had nightmares before this; I hated to think what might resurface before morning. Maybe if I held her, made her feel safe, it’d stave them off.

For now, at least…
 

A week later, Aiden’s family held a memorial service near Toledo—his ‘death’ having been one of many attributed to the tornado’s devastation.

Dozens of unknowing carriers went home after finals, leading to reports of the virus spreading to Ohio from the northeast. For now, the symptoms seem pretty flu-like. Fever, sore throat, vomiting, and muscle spasms. But as the news analysts keep reminding us, advanced cases in New England are leading to severe complications. Even death.

Cole said Faye’s been talking to the Food and Drug Administration, and I have no doubt they’ll try to push the vaccine through. With a heavy emphasis put on the registry, of course. They’ll tell us it’s to keep us safe, to make each person accountable for the outbreak, but at the end of the day they’ll have a database of SAGE candidates. The so-called ‘weak’ will have been already cast off.

Bile rose in my throat. If we’d done a little more digging, if we’d found out Faye’s plans sooner, this could’ve all been avoided. Hell, if we’d taken her out last January, she wouldn’t have been able to—

No. If Wallace has told me once, he’s told me a thousand times. What-ifs are toxic. We can’t dwell on them. There are even more people counting on us now, and we need to put all of our energy into stopping this outbreak. We’ll just have to live with the guilt and press forward—like he did with Roman.

And speaking of the outbreak, we’d all kept an eye on Gabby. She hasn’t exhibited any symptoms yet, which makes me think she wasn’t infected during the release, but she did come in contact with hundreds of contagious students during finals. That didn’t bode well for her
or
the baby. Faye and I would have to have words.

We’d been invited to check on Aiden this afternoon, and then properly tour the facility. I had a feeling it was bait for me to get fit with an ERA collar, but it didn’t matter at this point. He needed an advocate now that he was dead to the world, and to do that, I’d have to stay close.

That was partially why Wallace and I made the two and a half hour trip to Toledo. When Aiden woke up, he deserved to hear how things ended.

Cole showed up with Corynn and Gabby, and they all crammed into the back row with Wallace. I should’ve been there, too—not up here at the podium.
Why did Aiden’s mother have to ask me, of all people, to speak?

I pulled out my compact and cringed. I'd worn my guilt heavier than my makeup, and it showed. Dark rings circled my reddened eyes, and my lids hovered low with exhaustion. If I could just get through this, if I could articulate everything that ran through my mind when I thought I’d lost Aiden, we could move forward. We could start to right some of these wrongs.

The pastor nodded in my peripheral vision and whispered, “Go ahead.”

Perfect timing.
I flattened a piece of crinkled, eraser-stained notebook paper against the podium and drew in a shaky breath. The lights were hot, almost interrogatory, and sweat dampened my hairline.
Okay, here goes nothing…

“When I sat down to write this,” I began, my voice ringing out in the eerily still room, “all I could think about were the things I would tell Aiden today, if he were here. Things I wished we'd talked about, things I…wished he knew. So, in lieu of a proper eulogy, I've written him a letter.”

Someone muffled a sob in the back, and I gripped the wooden edges of the podium until my knuckles turned chalky. “Dear Aiden…”

I took another breath and tried to focus on the words swimming before me. “Dear Aiden,” I repeated, with a determined grit. “I never planned to speak at your funeral. If I'm honest, it's because I thought you'd always be around. You were a constant in my life—smiling, shy, and loyal. I never told you this, but I admired your courage.

“Now, I can picture you shaking your head at this. You never thought yourself brave, because you wore it quietly, but it takes courage to get out of bed every day. It takes courage to live and love in the face of adversity, especially when it seems like no one sees it. But we
did
see it, Aiden. In your actions and gestures and…choices.”

My gaze skimmed the room and fell on the back row.

“A few weeks ago, you told me nice guys don't finish last; they come in second. Well, I hate to say it, but you were wrong. Your race has been run, and though it was shorter than any of us anticipated, you finished first.”

I struggled to catch my breath around the lump in my throat. “So, do me a favor and wait up. I don't know how much longer I have to go, but I want you to meet me at the finish line. We still have a lot to talk about.” A few seconds ticked by, and unshed tears burned my lashes. “Love, Rena.”

There were arms around me at that point. A stormy scent, probably Wallace's. Nothing registered.

Instead of going back to our seats, he quietly led me to the hallway, and then to the exit. The funeral director opened the door for us, and I mumbled my gratitude.
Is that it? A chapter in my life…over?

We weren’t invited to the burial—the Ross family had opted to keep that service private—but I welcomed our exclusion. I didn’t think I could stomach the sight of them lowering that urn, knowing the pain our deception had caused them. Sure, the lie had kept everyone up here safely in the dark, but at what cost?

“You did great.” Wallace kissed the top of my head and led me to his truck. “Really, I think Aiden would—
will
—be proud.”

I yanked my skirt down as he opened the door and helped me in. “Maybe I’ll read it to him. I mean, you’re supposed to talk to people in comas, right?”

“Definitely.” He shut the door and trotted around back, before climbing in to the driver’s seat. “I think it’ll mean a lot to him, and I’ll be right there with you.”

I buckled my seatbelt. “Can we head back to the dorm first? I want to change out of this skirt before we head up to ERA. You know… in case I have to rough someone up.”

A chuckle caught low in his throat. “Yeah, you can change. I have a quick stop to make near campus, anyway.”

“Where?”

He put his sunglasses on and started the truck. “You’ll see.”

“Seriously?” I asked. “You’re using my trick?”

Wallace didn’t say anything as he guided me along, his jacket over my face. It’d been there since we’d left the dorm parking lot, and the anticipation was killing me. Either the man had gotten kinky, or he had a distraction up his sleeve.
Maybe an ill-timed picnic?

The sun kissed my exposed shoulders and tingled against my skin. Now that Jackie wasn’t manipulating cold fronts, Ohio was finally warming up to spring. The birds were singing, the breeze blew crisp and fragrant, and in the dark like this, I could almost forget what had happened.
Almost.

“Now, keep in mind, it’ll take some work.” Wallace grabbed my shoulders a little too enthusiastically, forgetting to send some power my way as he brought me to a halt. “It did take some damage, but…”

Ow. What?

The jacket was snatched away from my face, and the light hit me full blast. I threw my arm up and squinted at the little yellow house before me.
Why are we…?
Wait.
A little yellow house…

I looked up at him. “Is this…?”

“Ours.” He gave me one of those stupid, lopsided grins and rocked back on his heels. “To rent, at least. And like I said, it took some wind dam—”

One second, he was explaining, and the next my arms were pulling down on his neck. We hadn’t touched much since the dance. After what had happened, I kept shying away from him. But to do this for me, to give us something to look forward to…

I kissed him, pouring out everything I knew he’d already felt. Guilt, anxiety…and now a swell of pride. This amazing, frustratingly gorgeous man was going to be my husband. This house was going to be our first, together. Talk about a jolt to the baby-maker.

A chill swept through my body as if he’d yoked half of my burden, shouldered half of my grief, and I knew he’d done it on purpose. I tunneled my fingers through the soft spikes of his hair and tugged hard at the ends.

He moaned, hoisted me up, and backed me hard against the siding. My legs wrapped around his waist.

I ran my hands down his neck to the tight knots over his shoulders and squeezed hard. Another moan, mingling his breath with mine. I teased the inside of his bottom lip, and his free hand found its way under my shirt.
Outside. We’re outside…

My heart raced in warning, but I didn’t care.

His palm left a warm, tingling trail up my side as he slipped beneath the underwire of my bra. Before I knew it, he was cupping my breast, straining the fabric and—

“C’mon, get a room,” Cole called from somewhere indiscernible, pulling me from my reverie.

Wallace’s moan turned primal, and he broke contact with a hilariously frustrated scowl. “We’re getting a room. We’re getting a whole damn house. I thought you were meeting us in Cleveland.”

“We were.” Cole appeared from behind Wallace’s shoulder—Gabby hooked under his right arm, Corynn hooked under his left. “But I told my carpool buddies about the house, and they wanted to see it. The old lady home?”

“Doesn’t look like it,” Wallace muttered, easing me down. “She won’t be moving out for a couple of months, though, so we’re just looking.”

“How close are we looking? ‘Cause”—Cole pulled his arms out from behind the girls and blurred, reappearing against the window—”she’s got this lacy shit in the way. I can’t see a thing.”

And that’s going to be my brother-in-law.

Gabby snorted. “Twin’s got a screw loose.”

“Sorry, prego,” he called over his shoulder. “I can’t be distracted by your flattery. I’m tryin’ to reel in a ginger.”

Her brows knit. “How did you…?”

“Don’t question it.”

She shot him a look, but he remained oblivious, as usual.

“I hate to be the buzz kill here,” Corynn cut in, taking a step toward us. “But do we have a solid plan yet? This student visa will only last me so long. I need to know what I’m doing.”

Cole bunched his shoulders as he rejoined the group, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “I say infiltrate and detonate. Go, team, go.”

“A direct assault won’t work with ERA.” She made a dismissive gesture, and then pointed behind her. “The Underground is a fortified labyrinth. You pose a threat, you don’t make it out alive.”

Wallace’s expression hardened. “What about finding a weakness in the organization? If we can gain her trust—”

“You think they got where they are by trusting people?” Corynn put her hands on her hips. “She and her husband have spent decades building this kingdom. He’s old money. Secret societies and shit. They’ve got connections all over.”

Gabby scrunched up her nose. “You guys sure you want to get caught up in this?”

“We don’t have a choice,” Wallace told her, leaning back against the house. “You’ve seen for yourself. Evil wins when good does nothing.”

I reached over and squeezed his hand. He was right. We’d gone over these scenarios all weekend, and only one option had any merit—my latent Augari abilities. If Faye honed them, as promised, two important pieces of the puzzle would fit into place this summer.

One, we could rest assured, knowing I wouldn’t accidentally overpower my fiancé.
And two…
“You know the best way to overthrow a kingdom like this, Corynn?”

She raised one brow, and all eyes turned to me.

I took a deep breath, lifted my chin, and uttered the three words I knew would christen our resistance. “Kill the queen.”