Country Plot (22 page)

‘Well, congratulations. To both of you. And I hope Smitty gets his cameo role. Hey, that's a great name for dog food. Cameo Roll – just slice, and delight your dog.'

Rock laughed. ‘You ought to go into advertising. You've got an ear for it. Sweetie, it's been lovely chatting to you, but I've got to go. My other phone's been ringing itself off the hook.'

‘It's been lovely talking to you, too. I don't remember when we last had a chat. You didn't ring for anything in particular, then?'

‘Christ! Yes. I'd completely forgotten. About Aunty Kitty's house. I think it's great that you're trying to save it for her. Olly's brainstorming the family for ideas to make some money out of it, and it came to me: these stately homes are all the rage for movie sets. There's an agency over there that arranges it all. I'll send you the URL of the website. You can get five hundred a day for using the grounds, and fifteen hundred a day for interiors.'

‘That sounds interesting. But wouldn't it be a huge amount of work, clearing the rooms out and putting it all back? I mean, Kitty's not young, and there's a heck of a lot of stuff in here.'

‘Oh, no, they do all that themselves, and clean up afterwards and put everything back the way it was. You don't have to do a thing except keep out of the way.'

‘Well, I'll certainly look into that,' Jenna said. ‘Thanks, Rock, that's a brill idea.'

‘OK, sweetie. It's been great, but I gotta go.' She became suddenly serious, quieter and much more English. ‘Jen, I'm sorry about you and Patrick. And the job and everything. When you're done with Aunty Kitty, why don't you come out here? You could make a great new life for yourself, have a lot of fun, maybe meet someone. I can get you work with Greg's company as a runner to start you off, and you can stay in our apartment until you get settled.'

For a moment, LA twinkled and beckoned like a constellation. But the upheaval, and the loneliness of a strange city where you don't know a soul . . . ‘It sounds great,' she began hesitantly.

‘Think about it. No need to decide now. The offer stands. Give Aunty Kitty my love. Kiss kiss, babe.' And she was gone.

She had been peripherally aware, while talking to Rock, that something had been going on in the background – the sound of a female voice which, by its pitch and rapid delivery, could not have been Kitty's. Returning to the sitting room she found Madeleine Enderby there, still on her feet, talking seamlessly. She must have come in through the garden – country people never seemed to use the front door. Juicy and Lucy were playing a rough and tumble game in the conservatory with Watch and Barney, with much wagging of tails and many play-bows to show it was friendly.

‘Hi, Jenna,' Madeleine interrupted herself. ‘How was your ride? How did you like Tabitha? Anne Tyler got a first with her in the juvenile jumping at the County Show last summer. Betty Tyler's so grateful to have her exercised, you could go out every day if you wanted. The Hart's a nice little pub, isn't it? They used to do good pub-grub there, but I haven't been in ages. Hub and I never seem to go out anywhere any more. That's why it was so great that Kitty had her party. I was just telling her what a great time everybody had. Just like the old days! We used to be in and out of each other's houses all the time. So when I took the dogs out for their constitutional I thought, instead of just tramping up the lane, why don't I pop over to Holtby House and thank Kitty in person?'

‘There was no need,' Kitty said. ‘You'd already thanked me over the phone.'

‘Oh, but it's much more neighbourly this way,' said Mad.

‘Won't you sit down, anyway,' Kitty said, ‘and have a drink?'

‘Love to, but this is only a fleeting visit. I only just popped in, as I said. Really can't stay, because I've got a mass of paperwork to do, and I only left it because the dogs had to go out and Si couldn't take 'em because he's gone over to Wenham St James about some feed – you know the Coopers at Yew Tree Farm are selling up?'

‘I had heard a rumour,' Kitty said.

‘Can't make a go of it, poor things, and they've got a load of feed they want to sell off at a bargain price to get rid of it, so Si took the pick-up and went to make them an offer. At least that way they'll get cash in the hand, otherwise the bank will probably end up with it. Their boy Jason going off to join the navy was the last straw. They always thought he'd make a career of the farm, but he wants the bright lights – they all do, don't they? Kids! Who'd have 'em? And Bob Cooper says what's the point of going on, even if they could, without someone to leave the farm to? I mean, it was his father's and grandfather's before him. It's breaking his heart, but if they're going to have to sell it they might as well sell it now as later, he says, and at least have a few years taking it easy, without having to get up at four in the morning to milk the cows. Can't say I blame them. So that's another one gone.' She sighed. ‘Soon there won't be any real farms left. And I've heard a rumour that someone from London's looking at Yew Tree as a weekend home, only of course they'll sell off the land and convert the barns, and knock the farmhouse down and build something new on the spot, which is a crying shame, because Joan Cooper says part of that house goes back to Charles the First or Charles the Second or someone, or was it Queen Elizabeth? Only it's not listed of course, so it's only a matter of getting planning permission, and that Ralph Puddephat – you know, the planning officer in Wenchester? – he'd give anyone permission for anything if you winked at him the right way. Not that I'm saying he takes bribes or anything, obviously that would be defamation, but he's a lot too chummy with certain business interests, Simon says, and there's more to that St George's development in Belminster than meets the eye! It's such a shame about the Coopers, but farming alone doesn't pay, unless you've got thousands of acres, and they felt they were too old to diversify. I mean you have to diversify if you want to survive these days. There's the Tylers doing livery and the Garnetts with their caravan park, and we've got the farm shop. And we're thinking we might go in for some holiday cottages too, because there's the old pigsties doing nothing, not that you could convert them of course, but we'd pull them down and build new and Si says as long as the footprint's the same, or not more than ten per cent larger, you can get permission all right, even without slipping old Puddephat something!' She twinkled. ‘And we could get four in the space, enough to make it worthwhile. So it would just be a matter of getting a bridging loan for the building work, because Si's got some money coming in next year from an investment he made before he met me, clever man, which should be just about enough to do the work, and those cottages bring in quite a good return, I've heard, as long as you don't have a mortgage on them. Anyway, it's worth looking at. We all have to turn our hands to everything these days, don't we? Diversify, that's the secret. You can't make a living out of just one thing any more.'

She paused for breath, and Kitty said, ‘Do let me get you a drink, and sit down and be comfortable.'

Mad beamed. ‘You're so kind. But I really only popped in for a second, just to say thank you for the party, and to ask you about the asparagus.'

‘The asparagus?'

‘Didn't I mention it yet? God, talk about head like a sieve! The thing is—Juicy, get
off
her!
Bad
dog! I'm going to have to get him seen to, you know, and she does nothing to discourage him, the awful slut.
Juicy
! Mind you—'

‘What was it about the asparagus?' Kitty nudged her desperately.

‘Oh yes. Well, the asparagus you served us on Saturday was so fresh and delicious, I wondered if you had any surplus, and if so, whether I could sell it in the shop. Everyone loves asparagus, particularly the passing trade. Luxury items like that sell really well and bring people in. Asparagus and artichokes and strawberries – particularly strawberries. Have it on a chalk board outside and people stop and come in, and once they're in they buy other things. Now of course I can get them from our suppliers, but yours would be much fresher and nicer, and it's nice to be able to say it's really locally grown. And it would keep it in the family, wouldn't it? The village, I mean. I'd sooner you and I made a bit of profit from it than some bloke in Wenchester with twenty acres of glass. Of course, assuming you wanted to sell. And that you had some to sell.'

‘It's very kind of you to think of me,' Kitty said, ‘but in fact all the vegetables belong to Bill. He takes care of the kitchen garden, and he does jobs for me, like the lawns and hedges, in return for the produce. What he doesn't eat, I think he gives to friends. So, though it's a lovely idea, I'm afraid it's not on.'

‘Wouldn't you need much larger amounts, anyway?' Jenna said. ‘And an assured supply?'

‘That's the beauty of a place like ours,' Mad said. ‘You can be flexible, and sell what you want or you happen to have. Of course, some of the basics we have to get in bulk, but the luxuries we can slip in as they come. However, if it's not to be . . . It was just a thought, Kitty. I hope you're not offended?'

‘My dear, of course not! Absolutely not. It was kind of you to think of me.'

‘Oh, I was being kind to myself.' Mad smiled. ‘That asparagus was the best I've ever tasted. Never mind. On with the circus. I must get back and fill in some forms. Bloody DEFRA. Come on, dogs! I'll see you around, Kitty – oh, and Jenna, if you want Tabitha again, I know Betty Tyler would be delighted. I had it from Cal Bateman, when he brought the milk, that Xander told her you had a good seat and nice light hands. And it would be a weight off her mind because Tabitha can jump anything and if she gets too bored in the field she just jumps out and then it's hell's own job to catch her again, to say nothing of the danger from the traffic, because people drive round these lanes like madmen. I don't know what it is about country people. You'd think you were at Brands Hatch sometimes. Honestly, this Focus went past me the other day. Must have been doing sixty, and I was in that narrow bit of Thorny Hedge Lane, you know, Kitty, where it makes practically a right angle round that big oak tree . . .'

Kitty came back in from showing Madeleine out, wiped imaginary sweat from her brow and rolled her eyes at Jenna.

Jenna laughed. ‘She might as well have sat down and had the drink,' she said.

‘Oh, she's a good soul, and as kind as they come, but her tongue's like a roller towel. I'm sorry you came in for that.'

‘No, no, don't be. I like her. She's genuine.'

‘I'm glad you like her, because I have a lot of time for her. Some people round here laugh at her, and avoid her because she talks too much, but I find it very restful.'

‘I wouldn't have thought of “restful”, exactly, in that context.'

‘But you see, if she does the talking, it means I don't have to. I can just surf along on this lovely wave of words. It's effortless.'

‘I see what you mean. By the way, that was Rock on the phone to me.'

‘How delightful! How is she? It's such years since I last saw her.'

‘She's fine. She sent you her love before she had to ring off because her other phone was going mad.'

‘I'm sure she's tremendously busy.'

‘If she ever isn't, she'll probably die of shock.' And she told Kitty Rock's idea.

She had thought Kitty would instantly dismiss it, but she listened carefully and asked a question or two, and then said, ‘It certainly sounds like a possibility, though I fear a lot of clearing out would be needed, even if they did say they'd do it themselves, or they'd be two days before they could start. And the money would certainly come in handy. But I don't see how it could be the answer to my problem. I mean, even at fifteen hundred a day, there wouldn't be that many days a year you could get it, would there?'

‘I don't know,' Jenna said.

‘Well, there must be lots of properties competing for the bookings, and not all that many films and television programmes being made. I imagine if you could get two days a year you'd be doing well.'

‘Yes, I see what you mean.'

‘And three thousand pounds would be a wonderful addition to an income, but not enough in itself to keep the house going.'

‘I think it's worth looking into, though, don't you?'

‘Of course,' Kitty said. ‘And thank you so much for thinking of it.'

‘I'll look at the website and make some enquiries. I dare say someone from the agency has to come and inspect before they put you on the books. But I think this house has definite possibilities. The hall is beautiful, and so pure. And the grounds aren't overlooked – which means no modern housing or pylons in the background to be masked out.'

‘I hadn't thought of that. You know a bit about it, don't you?'

‘Oh, I've read some articles.' She smiled at Kitty. ‘I'm getting so fond of this place I can't bear to think of you selling it.'

‘I'm glad you like it. But let's not talk about selling – too gloomy. Do you know what I suddenly fancy? A cup of cocoa. Would you like one, or would you prefer a whisky, or something?'

‘Cocoa sounds marvellous. And then can we watch
Governing Party
? They're repeating it on BBC Two, and Rock says Billy Smith, who stars in it, is the new hot property. I'd like to refresh my memory about him.'

‘My dear, watch anything you like. I hardly watch any television, but I'm not beyond a hot property when there's one going.'

Jenna laughed. ‘Well, he's Rock's new dog Smitty's godfather, so as Smitty's aunt, I'm a kind of relative of his now. I feel a family interest in him.'

‘Well, as Rock's new dog's godfather's aunt's mother's cousin, I certainly have to be in on that,' Kitty said. ‘Cocoa
and
biscuits called for, I think.'