CORAL - Forever (A Romance Trilogy, Book 3) (41 page)

“No, I don't want to,” I murmur.

“Why?” He asks, kissing my cheek again.

“Because it’s disrespectful. I didn’t know you back then and
I don't know Olivia, so who am I to judge?”

“Good point, but I’d still like to know,” he says, adding
another kiss to my cheek, and moves the sponge to my legs, gently washing my
troubles away.

“I just...I guess I just don't see what you would have had
in common. Like, well, did you ever do this? Take a bath together? Or wash each
other’s bodies in the shower?” I ask.

“No,” he scoffs. “Definitely not.”

“But, didn’t you want to?” I ask, completely confounded by
this conversation.

“It never crossed my mind.” He says. “Did you?” He asks.

“I never showered or bathed with Justin, no. But we had lazy
days in bed,” I say.

“What’s it like?” He asks, his voice soft and croaky by my
ear.

“Nice Tristan, it’s really nice.” I frown down at the water,
this makes no sense! All I’m doing is getting frustrated and I just want to
relax.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He says, his hand stilling on my leg.

“I just...what the hell did the two of you do together?” I ask,
feeling really irritated, but I don’t give him time to answer and start
rambling at top speed. “I mean, Justin and I had some things in common, one of
those was partying, hard. We’d get dressed up, go out on the town, his mates
would join us and Harriet’s other friends would too, and we’d all have a blast.
We’d do a pub crawl, end up in a nightclub and then the chipy or pizza place on
the way home. When we were sober, it was the cinema, or bowling, or renting a
film and staying in, or just hanging out on the beach.” I take a deep breath. “Sorry.
That was uncalled for.”

“No baby, it wasn’t. You’re right, and to answer your
question, what we had in common was success’ – “You mean money!” I snap.

“No, well, yes for her.” Tristan chuckles, then his tone is
serious again. “I was consumed with success, she was addicted to wealth. She
came from old money and had very high standards, she liked things done...a
certain way, her way.” He says, as though it’s a painful reminder. “When I did
well, she would congratulate and encourage me’ – “You mean boost your ego!” I say
with sarcasm.
Shut up Coral! 
“Sorry, I won't interrupt again.” I add.

“That’s ok baby.” Another sweet kiss on the cheek. “But yes,
you’re right. She was very good at making me feel even more...obsessively
inspired let’s say. And as you know, being successful and having all the things
I didn’t get in my formative years was extremely important to me. She wanted
more power, more money. I wanted more of everything I suppose. Once I got a
taste of the good life, what’s it’s like to be wealthy, to have whatever you
want, whenever you want it, I just wanted more.” Tristan sighs heavily. “I
think, looking back on it, I really was quite obsessed, and blinded by it all.
I think it went to my head a little bit,” he adds with a dry titter.

“Sounds like it did,” I snort dryly. “I don't think I’d have
liked you back then Tristan.”

“No, I don't think you would have either. I was accused of
being rather arrogant in my late twenties, and I suppose into my early thirties
too. Strange really, I think I started to mellow out once Olivia was gone. I
guess I didn’t realise how much of an effect she was having on me, on who I was,
and what I really wanted to achieve. I started doing the charity and affordable
housing projects about six months after we split.”

“You became a better man, the man you are now. But maybe she
was supposed to be with you, you know, to take you to your extremes, so when
she’d gone you could come back down to earth with a big bump and reassess your
life.”

Tristan chuckles, wraps his arms around me and kisses my
temple. “I think you might be right Coral. You know, I think you know me better
than I know myself.”

“Ditto,” I snort, trying not to laugh.

“I think you are the brightest, sweetest woman I have ever
met,” he whispers, making my heart expand with love.

“And I think you’re a pain in the arse sometimes, but I love
you very much Tristan Freeman, with all of my heart.” I retort dryly.

“Ditto,” he teases.

“Hey!” I playfully slap his hand. Tristan chuckles. “Do you
think you ever really loved her Tristan?”

“Maybe...I don't know...I think looking back on it I was
afraid,” he says.

“Afraid?” I gasp. I couldn’t imagine Tristan being scared of
anything.

“Yes.” He squeezes me tighter.

“Of what Tristan?” I turn and look up at him.

“Being alone,” he answers, his eyes boring into mine.

I reach up and softly caress his cheek. “You never have to
be afraid of that again,” I softly tell him.

“I know, I have you.” He says, reaching down to kiss me.

Desire – full on heavy in my belly, hits me like a
sledgehammer – Desire.

I’m glad it’s there and I haven’t lost what I have with
Tristan, but for the first time, I don't want it; not right now anyway. I’m
tired, hungry, and I’m still feeling a little odd.

“Hungry,” I murmur against his lips.

“Are you?” He croaks, his lips brushing softly down my neck.

“Not like that Tristan,” I whisper.

“I know,” he says, still kissing my neck. “Shall I go and get
some lunch ready?”

“No!” I freeze. “Don't leave me alone Tristan, please...” I
say, my voice trembling again.

His arms wrap around me again and kisses my temple. “Want to
help me with lunch?” He asks.

“Yes, I do, but can we just stay here a little longer?” I
ask, holding him tight.

“Baby, we can do whatever you want,” he says, kissing my
temple once more.

That was a very odd conversation. I’m sure there’s more to
it, to what Tristan was actually trying to say, I try to shake it off, she was
one weird woman! I take a deep breath and slowly blow it out. I close my eyes
and try to focus – focus on Tristan, the wedding, our future together – as I
keep breathing and concentrating on the future, I finally start to relax...

I
WAKE EARLY THE FOLLOWING DAY
. It’s still dark outside. I guess
that’s because I dozed off so many times yesterday, but what a great day we had.
Tristan seemed to be in his element, just chilling out on the bed with me. It
was quite a funny day, despite what happened that morning. We watched my
favourite films, Twilight, with a lot of eye rolling from Tristan, and The
Matrix, which he enjoyed. Then we watched his favourite films, Fast &
Furious, with a lot of eye rolling from me, and Alien – Sigourney Weaver kicks
ass in the movie, but I did hide under the covers at the scary bits, much to
Tristan’s amusement. We laughed a lot, ate a lot, talked a lot and ended the
evening with soul expanding, mind blowing sex, and eventually fell asleep in
each other’s arms.

I turn on my side and watch him softly sleeping. His long
eyelashes are gently resting on his cheeks, his mouth is slightly open, his
perfect lips pouting at me, and his hair is all messed up, he looks too cute
and adorable. Right at that moment his lips twitch into a smile, I can't help
smiling myself, wondering what he’s dreaming about – I hope it’s me!

I turn onto my back and stare up at the ceiling. I still
can't believe what’s happened over the past couple of days. If we hadn’t gone
to Harry’s birthday function, I never would have met Simon again, and I never
would have found out who was responsible for raping me. I shudder slightly – I
need some fresh air, so I decide to get up.

What I really want to do, because it helps me think and
gives me a clear head, is get my sweats and trainers on and go pound it out on
the beach. But I can't, sill healing.
So annoying!

I carefully step out of bed, so I don't wake Tristan, pull
on my sweats, my support vest and hoody, then slip my feet into my flip-flops. I
quietly pad along the hallway and into the kitchen. I look up at the clock –
5.40am. I’ll be just in time for sunrise if I hurry.

I scribble a note for Tristan, letting him know I’m down at
the beach and head out of the house. The air is cool on my face, the air fresh
as I make my way down the steps to the beach, I take a deep breath in, I love
the smell of the sea. Kicking off my flip-flops, I leave them on the bottom step.
I really like the feeling of sand beneath my feet and between my toes.

It’s dawn, the sun is about to break over the horizon. The
sea is calm today, just a few soft waves lapping to the shore. I take my time
walking down to the water’s edge. Thinking over everything that’s happened. I
think about how I now know who the bad men are that did those terrible things
to me. And that yesterday, I wanted so badly to have revenge, for them to
suffer.

But where does it end? We do something to them, they could retaliate
and do something to us? So I have to ask myself the question. Is it really
worth it? Do I really want all that shit swirling around in my head, always
worrying if something’s going to happen, or, do I want to continue with moving
on, letting it go and getting on with my life as I did when I didn’t know who
they were?

I decide, like I have so many times before, that it
happened, that it’s in the past and there’s nothing I can do about it. No-one
has invented time travel yet, so I can't go back and change it, any of it. Then
I think to myself, would I really want to? It’s a ridiculous question to ask,
of course it is, but if I wasn’t the way I am, and Tristan wasn’t the way he is,
I have to ask – Would we have ever met? Would this amazing relationship have
blossomed into what it is now? And the answer is no, I don't think it would
have. We would be different people, living different lives. The sun is about to
break out over the horizon, so I quiet my mind and simply be.

I soak it up in silence, watching the most beautiful scene
unfold before me. It’s breathtaking, truly breathtaking. Golds, pinks,
aquamarines and sky blue all mixing together, creating the most awe inspiring,
picture perfect scene – And I know, in that very instance, I know – I’m done. I
don't want any part of my past hanging over me. George has always told me that
I have choice. I know that I can choose to pursue this, get revenge, or I can
choose to stick to my beliefs, that Karma will make it happen, not me. That someday,
hopefully, it will bite them both on the ass, and that’s good enough for me; so
in that very moment, that’s what I choose, to move on.

I close my eyes and imagine I have an open box in front of
me. I place my mother, my father, my sister, Simon and Kane inside that box. I imagine
in have a key in my hand and I lock the box. Then I open my eyes and pretend I
have the key in my hand. I take a couple of steps closer to the water’s edge,
and let the waves spread over my toes. It makes my feet tingle, I like it, then
I take a deep breath, reach back, and with as much force as I can, I throw the
invisible key into the ocean. – I feel free, like a huge weight has been lifted
from my shoulders. I finally feel like I can move on. All I want from now on is
the here and now, and my future with Tristan.

I smile at the ocean, and at the sun that is gradually
creeping up into the sky, and sigh with relief. I feel him before he calls out to
me. I guess he’s doing that so he doesn’t make me jump, it makes me grin even
wider, he’s so thoughtful like that.

Tristan comes and stands next to me, his arm brushing
against my shoulder, and he just stares straight ahead. I don't look at him, I
just keep focusing in front of me, that’s the only place I want to keep looking
from now on. Tristan’s fingers reach out for my hand. I silently enclose my
hand in his, and he gives me a gentle squeeze. Neither of us say anything, the
moment is already beautiful, it doesn’t need any words. We stay like that for a
long time, just watching, appreciating what’s before us, but soon enough, the
early morning bathers start to arrive, spoiling the blissful silence, so I turn
to Tristan and look up at him.

“Ok?” He simply asks.

“Ok.” I say nodding once and squeezing his hand, because I
do feel ok. Then we silently make our way back to the villa.

As we eat breakfast, I tell Tristan all about my moment out
on the beach, my epiphany if you like, he goes with it, with my decision. But I
have a tiny suspicion he’s not entirely happy about it, but if he isn’t, he’s
certainly hiding it well.

After breakfast, we head out for a long walk along the
coastal path. We visit touristy places, have clotted cream scones with cups of
tea, then take a really long stroll along Watergate Bay’s huge beach, eating
ice-cream of course. By the time we get back to the villa, it’s just past
lunchtime. I am shattered, but feeling on top of the world. I am blissfully
happy again, in-love and ready for my future with Tristan.

We decide to spend the afternoon at the beach on our loungers,
just being plain lazy. About an hour into soaking up some rays, I suddenly
remember what I found on Friday.

“Oh my God Tristan!” I gasp, jumping up from my horizontal
position.

“What, what’s wrong?” He says, mimicking me and sitting
straight up.

“Sorry,” I giggle. “Didn’t mean to startle you, nothing’s
wrong,” I add.

“Coral!” He scolds.

“Sorry.” I chuckle at him, then I sit next to him on his
lounger, kiss his cheek in apology, then reel of my story....

IT’S
5PM, AND WE ARE STOOD IN THE JEWELLERY
shop that I found on my
search for some food on Friday. I m so happy I found it. Wearns, is a traditional
Cornish Jewellers that’s been going since 1890. The pieces of jewellery are
actually quite simple in design, which is what I actually want for a wedding
band – but I think my mind was made up when the jeweller told me about their
history; their story. I knew it there and then – that this is the place we will
get our wedding rings from...