Copperback (25 page)

I
had to be dead. I had died in the darkness in Job’s arms, in his warm embrace, his
lips on mine. It was the last thing I remembered, and it made me feel complete.
I never had the chance to tell him I loved him, but he had already known. I had
given up my life for him – for his safety.

I
must have gone to heaven. It was far too cool to be hell. Something didn’t feel
right, though. There was pressure on my lungs, and my chest still burned from
the suffocation. The surface I was laying on was soft, but as I reached past my
body, my hands encountered hard stone, moist and cold under my fingers. The
smell of wet rock filled my nostrils. It had to be purgatory. This was not the
way I expected death to feel like.

The
lights had stopped flickering behind my eyelids, but as I opened my eyes, the
room was blurry and spinning around, making my stomach lurch again. It was a
tilt-a-whirl on high speed. I had to shut them quickly to stop the motion.

I
had to know where I was.  I should be in the black dust of the mine, if I were
still alive, but this was too bright, too smooth, too clean to be the pit we
had entered.  How did I get here?

A
warm hand touched my shoulder, bringing comfort.  It was as warm as Job’s, but
smaller – more feminine – and as she spoke, the ring to her voice sounded like
an angel.

 “Shhh.
You need to lie still. It’s going to take a while for you to adjust to the air.
Don’t try to sit up too fast. You’ve been through a lot.”

I
rolled on my side, trying to get the feeling to pass and clear my head. If I
was going to be sick, I would rather it be on the stone floor than on myself. I
opened my eyes again, forcing them to focus on one spot to stop the rotation. I
picked out a small crevice in the rock floor and kept my gaze locked on it. After
a short amount of time, it transformed from two into one, the room stopped
spinning violently around, and I was able to gain my senses back.

I
took several deep breaths, feeling my lungs expand and contract slowly. The
burning wasn’t going away, but I was able to take in air and not choke on it.

“Where
am I?” My voice was faint.

“Underground,”
the woman chimed. “Below the mine. A hidden cavern, and safe.”

Safe.
It was word I longed to hear. We had put so much on the line for Job’s safety. 
Upon thinking of Job, I suddenly felt more awake, realizing he wasn’t nearby. “Where’s
Job? Is he okay? Can I see him?” I sat up too fast, ignoring her warning.

The
room whirled again. The divot in the floor was hard to find at the speed it was
going, but eventually I zoomed in on it and kept staring, just in case the
dizzy spell came again. It was hard to remain on it for long, since I wanted to
see the woman that was being so kind to me. I turned and looked over at the hand
that was still on my shoulder, and at the scar upon it – the “eye that sees all.”
It was faint, and there were other scars across her hand that had cut into it;
slashes that crawled up her arms, partially covered by her flowing shirt.

“He’ll
be back soon. He had to talk to some people. He stayed by your side for a long
time while you were sleeping. He didn’t want to leave you.”

That
sounded like my Job. He was so worried about me. He never wanted to leave my
side unless he had to. I had said I would stand by his side, but instead I was
grounded, while he was off doing whatever he needed to. He would probably be
upset that he wasn’t there when I woke up.

I
regained enough clarity to completely sit up and take in my surroundings. The
cavern was vast, with a smooth limestone bottom. Light fixtures had been
installed across the ceiling, giving off a dim glow that bounced off the yellow
and brown rocks, creating a tranquil ambiance.

Around
the edges of the room, some sheets had been hung between stalactites, forming private
areas. Bare mats or blankets were rolled up in various spaces within the room, waiting
for their respective owners to come back and sleep. There were a few that were
already rolled out, with Sayners either sleeping on them, or else sitting
having conversations in their white noise language. They were attempting to be
discreet in their stares, but it was too noticeable from my vantage. I was an
outcast and had invaded their home.

“They
don’t like me here, do they?” I was afraid to make eye contact with the others
in the room.

“Ignore
them. You have to remember what some humans are like. It takes time for them to
trust.” She sounded so at ease with me.

I
finally looked at the woman. She was just as beautiful as any Sayner. Her
magnificent hazel eyes with the gold reflection were warm; auburn hair,
sweeping down her shoulders and onto the floor, complimented a fairly light tan
complexion. I noticed the scars around her neck, small punctures that wrapped
up into her hair. As much as she must have been through, I couldn’t believe she
would even want to be near me, let alone talk to me.

Before
I could ask her name, I heard Job’s voice calling me from across the room. I
tried to stand, but my brain was having trouble telling my legs what to do. The
task of standing was beyond me, and I fell back to the ground. I gave in, and
sat holding myself up with weak arms, looking at the stone floor. I quickly
regained my composure and looked back up to see that Job had already been rushing
toward me to help.

The
leather jacket fit like a glove to his lean body. The shirt underneath hugged
at his chest, displaying the muscular tone underneath. He seemed to glide to me
effortlessly – his limp was less pronounced than before. I had no idea how
commanding he could look.

His
smile only lasted for a fraction of a second as he knelt to me, making sure I
wasn’t going to stand again before I was able. I could see there was something
there, toying with his emotions. As much as he hid it by hugging me tight –
holding me close – I could feel it in his grip. His embrace was too long and
too powerful. It felt as though he would squeeze the life out of me.  He
released his hold a bit, giving me a long, drawn out kiss on the forehead –
then immediately went back to another desperate clasp around my waist, not
wanting to let go. The tension in his arms was a dead giveaway.

“I’m
glad you’re okay. I was so worried about you,” he said through another kiss.

“How
did I get here? I only remember the mine, and that I couldn’t breathe.”

“You
had passed out, and I picked you up and carried you the rest of the way. You
stopped breathing just before I got to the door, but you started again after I
got you inside. I was so afraid I had lost you.” His hold was becoming
uncomfortable, and I had to push him away.

“I’m
sorry I couldn’t be by your side, like I said I would. Is everything okay now?
Did they say they would accept you? Are they mad at you, like you thought they
would be?” My questions fired out.

He
strained a laugh. “It’s okay. They are not upset with me. Turns out I’m the
only military they have, and they can really use me to help train others, in
case we have to fight. It looks like it’s going to work out for me here.”

The
pride in his smile was apparent. He couldn’t hide the look in his eyes of how glad
he felt to be accepted, but an odd feeling was still behind it. It wasn’t
because of me and my brush with death any longer. There was something else.
Something he didn’t want to say.

“You
said me – as in, just you. I thought we were in this together?”

The
smile was gone. He wasn’t hiding his turmoil anymore. He aimed for another kiss,
but I pushed him away before his lips could connect. He wasn’t surprised; he had
been expecting my reaction. His face hardened.  His news was going to be bad, and
I could tell it was bothering him, but he was holding strong, trying not to let
it show. He turned away for a moment, thinking how he was going to say it, before
turning back to me. “You can’t stay,” he said, his face stern, hardly able to
look me in the eyes.

“What
do you mean, I can’t stay? I’m not leaving.”

His
words were hard to digest. We had a plan. It was going to be him and me, or
nothing, but now he was changing it. I loved him, and there was nothing he
could do to make me feel any different. I knew, when we started this journey,
that there would be a chance of us having to separate, but I didn’t want it to
happen. I only wanted him.

His
voice turned distant, as though he was talking to someone else. His eyes wandered
around the room. “Someone will take you back. There are some oxygen tanks down
here, so you can breathe going back up. They keep them here in case something
like this happens. You can get in your car and go. I’m sure your threat to
Derrick will keep you safe, if you go alone. Sally and Chase will love to have
you back. It’s just better this way.”

“Then
come with me. We can find somewhere else. You said–”

“I
said if they wouldn’t take me, I would leave with you. They want – they need – me
here. I can’t go with you. This is a safe place for me. Maybe they will pass a
law so we don’t have to hide. I can find you then. Right now, I have to stay.”

He
was still looking away. I knew he didn’t want to do this, and not looking at me
was making it easier on him.

“And
if I won’t go? Are you going to force me?”

“It’s
not an option.” A mounting fierceness started in his voice.

“Are
you going to drag me out? I will come back. I know the way in.”

“If
I have to. You can’t come back – ever. You have to forget you ever saw this
place. You have to forget about me.”

“Why?
Why can’t I–”

“If
you stay, they will kill you, Emily!” he yelled, looking directly at me. The
rage of having to either make me go or let me die had gotten to him. As much as
he didn’t want to let go, the choice for him was easy. He was struggling with his
decision internally; I could see it in his eyes. As angry as he was, the pain
of losing me was greater. I didn’t want to see him suffer.

“So
that’s it? I just leave without you. Go on my way and never look back?”

“No.
I have to bring you to the council. They want to make sure, when you go, that
you won’t be a threat – that you won’t expose us. Then they can take you back
up.”

“And
what will you do when I’m gone?”

He
was solemn again, thinking of how best to answer my question. As he looked at
the ground again, I could see he was conflicted about how he would react to me
leaving. He had spent the last two grueling weeks trying to convince me of his
love, and waiting for me to return it, only to have it taken from him. I didn’t
think he had banked on falling this far for me in such a short amount of time.
I knew I hadn’t, either.

“Maybe
I’ll forget about you and move on,” he said.

I
knew better than to believe he would ever do anything of the sort. He had lied
to me for the first time, but in a way, he was really lying to himself.

“How
long do I have to stay with you?” I wanted him to say at least the night. I wasn’t
ready to let go. I knew I never would be. I had told myself I wouldn’t become
attached – I wouldn’t fall in love – I would be okay to leave him when the time
came. In a week, I had broken every promise I made to myself. As much as he
thought I could go back, I wasn’t willing to leave him behind. I loved my
family, but what I had with him was much stronger.

“We
have to go now.”

Getting
to my feet, I glanced back to see the woman who had been with me when I woke.
She was still sitting next to the mat, having watched everything that had just
taken place. Her hazel eyes spoke of the sadness she was feeling. She gave a
small smile to me, as though to say goodbye.

Job
led me out of the room, keeping his distance. I reached out for his hand, only
to have him recoil from it, as though it would hurt him. He was trying to be
strong and keep away, knowing that being close to me would only make it harder.
I wanted to share one last moment with him, but he was not going to give it to
me.

The
cavern adjoining the sleeping chamber was even more spacious. The lights burned
brighter, running off a generator tucked neatly in a corner. People were busy
with different tasks as they gracefully swept past us. Many were the same age
as Job – with similarly beautiful features – clothed in jeans and T-shirts,
most of which were worn and in dire need of patching up. The few people I saw
that were younger were only in their teens, by appearance. There was no one
that looked like a child, or who was elderly. As Job had told me, most had been
killed before they could leave the camps.

The
vast room was set up as a dining area. Instead of chairs, squares of fabric
were placed on the floor, and food was gathered on small bamboo-type mats. As
we passed, the heads of everyone turned to stare at the human in their midst.
The whispers in the static language filled the room. Some faces were curious,
but most showed disgust. I wanted to hide. I was being paraded through the
chamber like a prisoner being taken to the chair without a last meal.

Job
looked no more comfortable, walking through the room with me at his heels. Even
though the stares were directed at me, he was just as embarrassed to lead me,
knowing that I was his charge and he was responsible for bringing me in.