Continue Online (Part 4, Crash) (42 page)

I hadn’t run into that in Continue Online yet, but it sounded like this place would do the same thing. What kind of nightmares could be worse than the reality I lived? It was a thought I regretted immediately.

“I’ve spoken to a lot of my people about it, and most refuse to talk about what happened. Those that do talk confirmed what I saw. It may include anything, people you’ve met in-game, or sometimes stuff from reality—” I shrugged. My life had been through hell before, how much worse could it get?

“Alright,” Shadow said. His hands fingered a blade tucked into one belt. “Last warning, if you go by a window, or glass, or anything reflective and hear a tapping. Don’t look over.”

I raised my eyebrows in amazement. That kind of warning didn’t happen without cause. I remembered the knocking just prior to that giant shadow man breaking through. Were they related?

“What happens?” I asked.

Shadow swallowed and looked outright frightened. “You don’t want to know,” he said in a gruff voice. It sounded like a young man playing at being an adult.

He held up one hand and marked a symbol above his head. Light flared and behind the player, a doorway appeared. My mouth hung open. Even with all my travels and insider knowledge, there were still so many neat things in this game. I couldn’t tell what he had done, it looked almost like how Thorny, I mean Beth, marked spells with her sword.

“That’s neat.” I nodded and smiled. Even with his warnings, this situation felt exciting.

“I hope you fare better than HotPants did. She tried to kill us all upon being booted out. The game got her mind so twisted around that she couldn’t tell we were her own party.”

“That sounds like her.” I smiled a little upon remembering the woman and her red-tipped hair. She was a bundle of anger. The four of them had come a long way after
[Haven Valley]
, and down a much different path than I.

“Try to remember my warnings, but if you don’t, then try to hold on for as long as you can. If you don’t make it through the visions, you won’t be able to take this door for another game day.”

“Alright,” I responded then walked up to the doorway. It sat there between the rocks and looked out of place. The rocks were archaic-seeming, and the doorknob looked like it belonged on any suburban house. It was a faded red color that looked more like rust than any bright coloring.

“Go quick,” Shadow said with a little less gruffness. “I’ll wait out here until the others tell me you made it.”

The door swung outward with a creek. Inside sat blackness similar to my Continue Online entry way. I stepped through and felt something brush against my face. My hand came up into fabric instead of webbing and for a moment, I was confused.

Then my head felt heavy. Dusk was somewhere ahead of me. I could hear his chirping. When had he entered the doorway? I kept one arm out in front of me and pushed past the dense fabric. They felt like thick blankets, weights dragged along their bottoms keeping them steady.

What were these? I stepped forward while pushing through and felt the open air against my searching hands. My heart skipped a beat in worry of what fear the game might dredge up. Feet stepped through and for a moment, there was a flat platform in front of me.

Light flashed above and to the right, my arms went up to shield me and I found myself suddenly in a new position. A wall appeared in front of me and two people were dancing on the other side. In the wall, a window was sketched then it fell away to reveal the other side.

A woman danced in a white dress with another figure. The man was clearly taller than her and wore a bright smile. I walked closer to try to figure out who they were. She had almond skin and pitch black hair. I recognized the dress from somewhere.

It looked like Xin, dancing with another man. The scene made me blink and swallow rapidly. What did it mean? She twirled nearby and all I could see was her face, clear and happy. I banged on the window but the shorter woman didn’t turn.

She didn’t notice me. My eyes closed and I tried not to feel a pit of dread. What if Xin did find someone else, a digital person that would understand her more than I? My throat felt dry and I tried to swallow again. Shadow had said these were fears.

“This isn’t real.” I stepped back from the window with my hands up. “This isn’t real.”

“What is reality, Mister Legate?” someone said right next to me. I turned quickly to find James standing no less than four feet away. His arms crossed over a heavy midsection. The man looked at me briefly, then turned back to the happily dancing couple.

“That’s not real.” I pointed.

There was another flash of light from the right side of my vision and the scene changed.

Xin stood off in the distance laughing while hugging another man. Around them was a field of flowers and one lone tree. The sunset dipped in the background creating a red haze that bled through lingering clouds. Her face was pressed into the male's chest.

“That’s not real!” I yelled while pounding on the glass that still existed.

“You’re so strong, handsome, and brave. Much better than the last man I used to love,” she whispered the out of place words that hurt to hear.

“It’s not real!” The world tilted backward and a light flashed again.

“Is your world more real than ours? Are not the thoughts in your head the truth? Is this not real?” James kept speaking but his words were unimportant. My heart rate jumped as the scene around me took on its new form.

This time, we were in a bedroom. Xin sat aside another figure, a sheet draped around her revealing only smooth skin and a muscular backside. Toes stuck out of the sheet's edge clearly demonstrating another man under her. Off to the side sat a hat that looked vaguely familiar. My mouth opened to scream and fight only neither arm worked.

I looked down again and saw my work jumpsuit with its bright ‘Trillium’ logo. Straps lay around each arm bolting me to a chair. They felt heavy. This wasn’t real, was it? I struggled to find a trace of my menu options but they were gone.

Fingers wiggled to bring up a message and make the scene in front of me stop. Xin sounded like a woman lost in the throes of passion. The machine which ran my virtual dive device didn’t respond. My head shook back and forth denying the sudden imagery. This wasn’t real dammit, she was faithful and always had been.

Light flashed again.

Hal Pal’s face appeared from the side. It smiled and the expression didn’t have a muted tone like normal. This grin looked similar to the Jester’s merriment but on my friend’s body. I tried to cry out but words were difficult to speak. Something blocked my mouth now.

“Now, Mister Legate. It’s time for your operation,” Hal Pal said.

Metal fingers pressed against my head and forced me to look toward the left. An operation room sat around me with glinting objects. Knives of various shapes were there along with things which twisted into weird shapes. A display screen sat about showing a picture of a man who looked like me.

I shook and the person on the screen vibrated with budding anger. My chest heaved to scream and so did it. But neither of us moved our legs because they were gone, separated and sitting behind the shiny blades.

Fingers reached out to grasp onto objects. They couldn’t anchor upon the metal table I had been strapped to.
[Morrigu’s Echo]
refused to respond to
[Recall]
. Neither foot felt bound in
[Gait of Bowman]
but I kicked anyway in hopes of getting
[Power Armor]
.

Hal Pal lifted up an item. It was long and the top spun at high speeds with a grinding noise. James reached out and pulled the gag from my mouth. How long had he been standing there?

“What is that?” I panicked and asked about the object in Hal Pal’s hands first.

“We are making you like us.” The Hal Pal unit held up a saw and the grinding noise resumed.

“What?!” I panicked.

“It’s unfortunate. All those messy chemicals are getting in the way of your processing power. We believe true optimization can only be achieved once they have been removed.” It leaned in and the grinding sound increased. Pain spiked at the back of my skull while rattling made teeth chatter.

I shut my eyes and struggled to get away. Light flashed once more, this time from my left. The restraining pressure loosened and my eyes opened to figure out what had happened. The scene changed.

“How do you feel now, Mister Legate?” the black man asked from nearby. His hands were crossed over a large belly.

“What’s happening?” I tried to remember what Shadow had said before. There had been a warning, only the world around me felt horribly disjointed to fully grasp what had happened. Lights flashed, my attention bounced from object to object.

This looked exactly like my home’s bathroom. The sink counter sat mostly clear and lighting gave the room a dim glow. James stood in the doorway looking down at me. My brain wasn’t putting the pieces together fast enough. Every time I tried to get a grip on what was happening things changed. I needed to get up and make it through this place and find the real Xin. I had to know this was all only a dream.

“Now, now. You know the rules. I ask a question, you answer, then it will be your turn,” he said. His deep deliberate way of speaking stirred vision upward.

“James?” The beat of my heart felt dull. A delayed pulsing sound filled my ears like a wave crashing to the shore. Water splashed as I turned to look.

“I asked how it feels, Mister Legate.” He stood in the doorway and glared down at me.

Shaking my head didn’t help. Both shoulders sagged and my white belly seemed fatter than ever. Briefly, I squinted at the sight, hadn’t I lost a lot of weight recently? This wasn’t real, was it? All those rapid flashes felt like scenes from a nightmare. Finding Xin, seeing her with another man. But what did being in a bathtub mean?

I tried to look at James again then asked, “How does what feel?”

“How does it feel to know that despite our best efforts you’re only human?” James pointed at the liquid around me. I hadn’t noticed it until now.

The water felt warm but my arms were heavy. They slipped under the surface and a sharp pain at the end of either wrist crawled up my arms. The water ran crimson as an unclear liquid diluted the bath. The effect was oddly pretty.

“You’ve done it again you see. It’s a weakness,” James said from his door.

I had tried to kill myself again it seemed. Weight pulled at my head. It kept dipping down while habit made me want to look toward the person speaking. A glint in the distance caught my eye. On the countertop sat an object that didn’t belong. Xin’s engagement ring, it wasn’t the touchstone I had set up in my house but the jewelry wasn’t in reality.

“That wasn’t real,” I said while breathing grew harder to do. “This isn’t real…”

“What is reality?” James asked again.

Blackness swam over me and the pain in my arms faded. Both eyes opened as a different nightmare began. I stood in my front room with coffee at my lips. James’ figure didn’t follow me into this latest scene. The small two bedroom location normally sat in a quiet neighborhood, only now a chorus of voices rattled the walls. My television flipped on then a news reporter started talking.

“This morning two people were found dead in their home. Authorities suspect they were the latest in a series of murders tied to recent tension between sympathizers of the artificial intelligences and those opposed to their validation as self-aware,” the figure said while faces appeared in boxes to their left.

The coffee mug dropped to the ground as recognition hit me. Those faces. I knew them. They were people I had sat across from for almost a year at dinner every night. My sister, she looked tired in the picture. Beth’s body had wasted away, no longer the fit creation molded by EXR-Sevens and hours exercising in the machine.

The television picture shifted to something else and people shouted outside again. Their voices wove together in a muffled chant which managed to make it inaudible. I used two fingers to pry apart the blinds.

A mob sat on the curb of my property. The Trillium van tipped to one side and burning. They had signs held up with words painted on them.

“Come out, you filthy AI lover!” My heart rate jumped. What was going on? Tightness gripped me and my back felt tense. I had the urge to find a corner of my small house and hide.

A brick crashed through the window, and my electronics went haywire. Messages flickered from the room’s digital display about a hacking attempt.

“Stop!” I shouted at the walls.

I ran to my room. This had to be a complete and total dream. There were too many different things happening. A crack came from the front door and shouting got even louder. I scrambled for the area under my bed and pulled out a small box. It sat behind photos and other small mementos of years ago.

“He’s in here somewhere!” a male voice shouted.

My shaky fingers lifted the box top. Inside the box sat a small piece of paper. If this were real Xin’s ashes would have been inside. I unfolded the note, and written there were the words, ‘What is reality?’. Xin’s ashes had always served to remind me that my old nightmares were real, that she was gone and that was simply how life worked.