Continue Online (Part 4, Crash) (28 page)

“I understand.”

“I kept going, you know? After thirty-five years I couldn’t, I had to finish setting the table. It’s what he expected.”

She looked terrible. My head tilted down in thought. The tribulations of Xin’s death had torn me down on many levels, and now a family member faced the same problems.

“It’s the first few months. They’re the worst of it,” I said. For me, it had been drinking. Work performance went downhill until they eventually let me go, not fired, given a severance package as a token of esteem for a decade of great performance.

Mom just nodded. Her eyes stared off into a memory that might gradually fade. I knew those moments well.

“I used to wake up, and prepare the house for Xin’s return home Friday night. I, uhh, I wanted the weekends to be ours. No cleaning, nothing to do but spend time together. One day, after-“ after some extremely heavy drinking, “-well, one day I didn’t remember to get the house cleaned, and I lost it.”

“Your father used to get so mad if things sat on the ground,” Mom said.

“I remember.” Dad used to throw toys into the garbage if he ran across them multiple times. We sat in silence for a moment before mom spoke up again.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, what were you saying?” She said while chewing a lip. The action made me smile, that’s where Liz and I had gotten it from.

I scratched my head and took a breath to start over.

“I just wanted to say that I understand what it’s like, to lose someone who was central to everything in your life. I wish I could say that one day you wake up and it will never hurt again.”

“I’m not some child, you forget who wiped your behind when you were tiny.”

My lip hurt from where teeth dug into the sides. My brain felt overloaded with work and empty on energy. “After Xin, I tried to kill myself, twice,” I admitted.

“Oh Jesus, Grant, why…” her face grew flustered. The tall woman walked over to try to give me a hug but I put up my hands.

“I’m not”—I took a shuddering breath—“I’m trying to say that it hurts and that I understand. There were a lot of days where I felt lost or without purpose. But it does get easier, Mom, eventually. It’s, uhh, the first few months that are the hardest,” I repeated lamely.

Sharee nodded once then hugged me despite my protest. Her body felt like a tightly controlled bundle of tense muscle. I held on and tried to remember the last time I had embraced anyone in real life, much less one of my parents.

“I’m not so helpless as to fall apart you know. I just need time to get used to it,” she said.

“I know. You’ll do…“ I took another breath, switching my sentence to something less self-pitying. “We’ll be here to help, Mom. Liz, Beth and I.”

We twins were never really close to our parents, especially not after moving out. I had Xin, and Liz had Beth. Mom, well from my point of view she had no one. Not anymore. Maybe Sharee had a social life out there, tons of friends who all got together and played first person shooters or hung out in virtual space.

That didn’t mean I would let her consider my solution to emotional pain. Sharee might profess to be strong, but this sort of loss was a trial no one escaped from unscathed.

I stayed over at my parents’ house and gave in to sleep. Sharee had been in her room for the last hour. The sound of old fashioned pencil lead could be heard against dry paper as she wrote. I felt ten again, expecting my dad to come in the door and punish me for unintended misbehavior at school. Only I was no longer a child, and he never would again.

I had learned, after Xin’s passing, to let myself cry. Not a lot, but enough for the world to blur. My watch lit up with an incoming call and I pressed the answer button without looking.

Xin’s face appeared nearby. I tucked in with a blanket provided by mom and smiled at her.

“Hi, babe, I was just thinking about you,” I said to the virtual reconstruction of Xin. My fingertips reached to try to touch the small projection but fell.

“Where are you?” Her forehead wrinkled briefly.

“Sharee’s, on the downstairs couch.”

“Is that the same one we…” Xin hinted about an event from a decade ago, involving Christmas, a bottle of wine, and her initial acceptance into the Mars Colony program.

“Shh!” Mom’s upstairs.”

Xin quietly giggled as her eyes lit up. My resulting grin felt like a breath of fresh air after talking with mom. Maybe that was why I admitted my past brushes with death to Sharee, I had loved and lost, then found again. Sadly, as I had told Liz before, my father would never be able to return like Xin had. I wasn’t sure anyone could.

We talked into the night about nothing at all.

Interlude - Mortal Instruments

Four Travelers stood in-game, meeting together for the first time in weeks. Each one comprised of a different color scheme. Their choice of location looked like a giant cave, only the roof was made of dim stars.

They gathered at a large table working on various tasks. Shadow poked objects around in a bored fashion. There were purple pieces representing members of the League of Shadows. Each one a Traveler named something related to darkness. All of them thought they were rogues, or assassins, thieves, bards, or other such sneaky classes.

“Can’t believe you got a safe house like this.” HotPants ground the staff she loved into the dirt slowly. Its twisting motion kept her calm. The woman wore mostly flame red items despite not being a natural redhead in real life. Not once had she mentioned her real name to any of other players.

Maybe it was the price of being the oldest. HotPants looked to be a fit thirty-five, with a teenage son who also played Continue Online. Her being among this group felt like playing with children.

“It’s the Shadow Zone. I won it after beating the old Guild Leader,” Shadow said with a rough voice. He wore dark blues and blacks. Weapons were tucked away along with powders and potions made by Awesome Jr., one of the other party members.

“That name is so stupid.” HotPants snorted.

“The Shadow Zone!” Awesome Jr. shook his hands toward the sky while calling out. His latest chemical concoction bubbled inside temporarily abandoned beakers. “How awe-“

“Awesome,” the other three cut off an overexcited teenager.

The Shadow Zone was a pocket realm that players with access stones could visit. It was oddly convenient that only four such items had been found. Enough for all of them to recall back to when not in combat or a dungeon. Gaining this base had to be one of the most awesome things to happen so far.

“Well, it is.” Awesome Jr. pulled his green cloak close and tried to look seriously upset. The image failed as chemicals popped in their glass containers. His mouth opened wide and hands fumbled for two vials to recover the science experiment.

SweetPea, the shyest member of their quartet, sat close to Awesome Jr. Her hands were busy stitching together a shirt very carefully. Long hair draped in front of the young woman’s eyes. She frequently blew at it trying to get a better view of the product in her hands. Awesome Jr. had set at least three hairbands in front of her but she took no notice.

In the past few months, they had played a lot of Continue Online together, finding their group makeup to be relatively solid. HotPants got to be their front line warrior and smashed things. Shadow really was an assassin, with the skills and Path rankings to prove it. Awesome Jr. served as a general strategist but never really reached team captain, instead focusing on ways to improve the others’ skills with potions or other mixtures. SweetPea enjoyed healing and making clothes.

“Here’s the campaign so far.” Shadow motioned to the table. Behind him, the edges of the shadow zone could be seen. Six doorways went off toward points around
[Arcadia]
. There was a seventh doorway that none of the players had discovered yet, and maybe never would. Its destination would remain unknown.

“Escape routes were set up in Lithonia, and Scarlet Hills. They should lead right down into the main path.” HotPants pointed. Her face curled up in annoyance as one of the purple statues faded away.

“ShadowXO, and TwilightAssassin. They reported back as successful, but were trying to clear some of the bandits,” Shadow said and sighed. Even the downward tilt to his voice sounded abnormally gruff.

Awesome Jr. put away his bubble brews into player inventory. A small pot came out next, which appeared to be bouncing on its own. He peeked under the lid and everyone’s noses wrinkled. SweetPea actually took two steps back, pulled the knitted cap off then covered her mouth with it.

“Would you believe we’re not the only players trying to do this?” Awesome Jr. said, oblivious to the others’ reactions. “There’s been an entire rash of quests handed out. I don’t think many people have connected the dots.”

“We haven’t even connected the dots.” HotPants’ normal red motif had been tainted by barf green the color of Awesome Jr.’s cloak.

“Right, my dad’s clueless. His entire guild doesn’t even know, but I visited last week to listen and people are starting to at least mention it,” the young alchemist said, then put away his pot of nasty smelling goo.

SweetPea resumed her position then said, “One of my friends at school mentioned it.”

“Bah. So the stupid computers got an event going.” HotPants lifted the staff then set it back down. “Games do that sort of stuff, right?”

“Whatever this is, it’s big.” Awesome Jr. scooted over to the table and looked at their map. Many players would have easily killed for so much detail, yet it fell right into the quartet’s lap. “With the routes we’ve opened, and the assassinations of filthy NPCs, it’s like the game is culling anyone who might be getting in the way.”

“The way of what?”

“A migration? An exodus?” Awesome Jr. ran a finger across one of
[Arcadia]
‘s main thoroughfares. Most of their quests had been clearing routes along those lines. Almost like making streams, dozens, hundreds, maybe thousands. Preparing to all trickle to a focal point. “I don’t know for sure.”

The shy girl paused in her stitching to look at Awesome Jr. They were dating in real life and had talked about this subject more than once. Their conversations were done with hushed tones. Everything pointed back to
[Haven Valley]
, and no one knew why.

“What about that Hermes guy,” HotPants asked. “He seemed in the know.”

“We haven’t been able to reach him for nearly two weeks now. He’s apparently restricted, so in a war, or a prisoner?” Awesome Jr. sighed. His dad might have been able to figure out. The man had been a guild leader organizing large-scale raids for two years of real world time. Not to mention a few decades of experience in other games.

“Do you think he might know?” Shadow asked in a hushed tone.

No one had an answer. Their eyes studied the board as if clues might be hidden. Awesome Jr. lowered his head and glared from a different angle, but the change of view brought no answers.

One more piece crumpled, and Shadow sighed. “Shadow number seventeen. Idiot, couldn’t even sneak properly.”

The gathering point rocked once. Shadows at the cavern’s edge swirled. Dim points of light along the ceiling brightened then faded once more. It rocked again as if some huge monster was knocking on one of the doorways. Pieces were sent flying from the campaign map. SweetPea cried out after poking her thumb with a needle.

A doorway burst open. Its innocent wooden framing flew across the room. Smoke surrounding a figure that spent the first few seconds of their invasion coughing wildly. The seventh door, which no one knew about, remained closed.

In her hands was a large blackened staff taller by far than she was. A long cobra coiled up the side with its hood flared at the top. A normal person might have been surprised, upset, or even slightly aggressive. This woman was none of those things. Instead, she looked pleased.

The tiny Asian woman said, “I’ve never broken into another dimension before. That was neat.”

“Who are you?” Shadow leapt over to fight off the intruder. This home had been hard won a month ago. Losing it now would be like having a favorite toy taken away.

Three giant skeletons stepped in behind her. One lifted a white blade into the assassin’s way. The others rapidly formed a barricade while readying odd bone weapons.

“Hecate, or Xin.” The woman grew a bit stern upon seeing all the people in this room. These four were all nearly strangers to her.