Conquest of the Heart (41 page)

“Gavin, we need to stop.”

“Damn it, Faith, why?” he whispered in
frustration.

“I can’t do this with you right now.”

“I need you, Faith. I can’t take it anymore.
I told you I’d let you know when I got to this point. I need to
feel you.”

“I’m sorry. I want to make love to you, too,
but I can’t.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

“Can’t. I’m not free to give myself to you.
When this happens, I want to be able to give you all of me, not
just a part of me.”

Gavin stood up, feeling a shot of pain in his
groin. His hardness was not wearing down, as his pants remained
open. Faith sat up and zipped her pants. She pulled herself up on
the couch.

“This is not happening. Are you serious? What
excuse do you have for me tonight?”

“It’s not an excuse, Gavin. You know why we
can’t do this.”

“Right,” he chimed sarcastically. “The whole
‘I’m still married’ thing. It doesn’t matter that your husband
wants us to be together. I’m tired of that excuse. You’re going to
have to give me a better one than that.”

“That’s all I have. There is nothing else and
no other reason.”

“This is bullshit, Faith. No is not
acceptable. I’m beginning to wonder if you really love me at
all.”

Faith shot a glare at him and said, “You know
I do.”

“Do you? Say it. Tell me that you love
me.”

Faith turned away from him. She was
silent.

“That’s what I thought. You won’t tell me you
love me, you won’t let me make love to you, and you won’t talk to
me about anything. Do you realize that you have yet to talk to me
about what happened with Carter? You haven’t talked about the
incident with Chandler, and you’re not talking about Emile and how
you’re holding up. You don’t have to do all of this alone, Faith.
I’m here to help you through this.”

Tears began to well up in her eyes. All she
could do was listen.

“You are the air that I breathe, Faith. I
can’t function when you’re not around. I’ve never felt this way
about anyone before. I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you,
I just didn’t want to admit it. I need you.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t,” she whispered through
tears.

Gavin sat down next to her and gently kissed
her cheek. “You can,” he whispered, kissing her neck. Faith closed
her eyes, feeling the excitement rush through her body all over
again. He gently rubbed her breast, causing her to moan.

“We can’t do this, Gavin,” she said
breathily.

“Yes we can.” He continued to kiss her neck
and was trying to unzip her pants again.

Faith stood her ground. She grabbed his
hands, looked him in his piercing green eyes and said, “No.”

She could see nothing but hurt at that point.
“I just don’t understand,” he said in frustration, pulling away
from her.

“Gavin, if you were my husband, how would you
feel if I was out making love to another man while you were home
dying? Alone.”

“I probably wouldn’t be very happy.”

“That’s why I can’t do this.” She stared at
him for a moment, then reached down, grabbed her shirt and put it
back on. She stood up and started to leave, but turned back toward
him. “I’ll talk to you later. I’m sorry for hurting you.”

When he didn’t speak, she looked up at the
ceiling, then walked down the hallway and out the door. Gavin
didn’t move as he heard her car start and pull away. After sitting
in silence for a few moments, he got up and poured a glass of wine,
and returned to the couch.

Faith arrived home, distraught from how her
evening had ended with Gavin. It was still fairly early. When she
got inside, she removed her coat, took off her shoes, and went to
check on Emile. She entered the room, saw he was sleeping and sat
down in the chair next to the window. She had only been there for a
few minutes when Emile felt her presence.

“What are you doing back so early?” He could
see the tension in her expression.

“We decided not to eat. I wanted to make sure
you were doing okay,” she answered flatly.

“What happened?”

“I just told you what happened.”

“You’re an awful liar, Faith. What
happened?”

Faith didn’t answer right away. When she
looked at Emile, he was patiently waiting for her to tell him what
was wrong.

“Gavin wanted to make love tonight. I told
him no. We argued, now I’m here.”

Emile was shocked. “You haven’t made love to
that man yet? Faith, that’s not right.”

She glared at him, anger rising up within
her. “I’m still your wife.”

“Whom I set free months ago. I can’t touch
you and caress you the way he can, Faith. He loves you. He needs to
be intimate with you. How long have you been seeing each other
now?”

“What difference does it make?”

“How long?”

Faith huffed, “About nine months.”

“Nine months of foreplay? He must really love
you. I would’ve left your ass.”

“Excuse me?” squealed Faith.

“That man needs to be intimate with you. He’s
probably been going crazy for months, but hasn’t shown it. Go back.
Don’t come back here until you’ve taken care of your business.
You’ve been unfair, and now you’re going to fix it.”

“I’m staying right here with you.”

Emile looked at Faith with conviction in his
eyes. “Faith, I love you with all of my heart. You never should
have married me. You can finally be with someone whose touch
stimulates you and excites you. I could never do that for you.”

Faith looked at him, surprised.

“Didn’t think I knew, did you? You’re a bad
liar, and even worse at faking your enjoyment from our lovemaking.
I always thought it was me, that you didn’t desire me. Then your
mother told me about how sensitive you were, that it’s something
the Knight women go through. Gavin is the one for you, Faith. The
two of you can’t stand to be away from each other.

“I know you love me, Faith. I can tell you
love him more.” She quickly glared at him. “Don’t even try to deny
it. I can see it in your eyes.” Tears began to roll down Faith’s
face.

“Come here sweetheart,” he said, patting the
bed.

Faith stood up and went to sit by his side.
He took her hands in his. They were so thin and frail, not at all
what they used to be when they held hands on summer strolls back
home.

“Gavin longs to show you how much he loves
you. He wants to pour his love into you, and feel you. Stop making
him wait, Faith. Why are you making him wait?”

Faith looked up at him, unable to speak
through her tears.

He knew immediately. “You don’t feel you can
give yourself to him right now. Is that it?”

Faith nodded.

“Oh, my sweet Faith. You are special indeed.
Your poor heart is torn between the man who will remain here with
you and the one who lies before you. You hate hurting him, but fear
you’ve hurt me. Sweet, sweet Faith. While I’ll admit I wasn’t sure
if I had done the right thing by pushing you into Gavin’s arms, I
am very happy that you were able to meet such a wonderful man, who
happens to be the very one you’ve needed all along. I’m happy I was
able to see you find the happiness I myself couldn’t give you. You
haven’t hurt me, but the complete opposite. I am thrilled for you
and Gavin. This was my prayer for you. I want you to go back and
see him.” He put his forefinger under her chin to lift her
head.

“No. I don’t want to be away from you right
now. What if,” she couldn’t finish. She looked down at their
hands.

Emile shook his head as all of the pieces
began to come together. “Look at me.” Faith looked into his crystal
blue eyes. “I promise that I won’t go anywhere until you’ve had a
chance to spend time with Gavin. I’ve got a good four weeks left in
me,” he smiled. “I’ll be here. You take all the time that you need.
Don’t come back here until you’ve both been satisfied. I want to
see that gorgeous smile again.”

Faith looked again, searching for reassurance
he would be alright. He nodded with confidence. She kissed him
gently.

“Do you need anything before I go?”

“No, honey. You go.”

Faith walked into the living room, slipped
into her shoes, put her coat on, grabbed her keys and ID and
left.

Gavin was still sipping on the same glass of
wine he poured himself shortly after Faith left. When he heard the
front door open and close, he smiled to himself. Anticipation rose
in his body with each footstep. They stopped just behind the
couch.

“Did you change your mind?” he asked, turning
around at the same time. His smile quickly faded.

“What are you doing here?”

Chandler stood there in a beige trench coat,
and red stiletto pumps.

“I’m here to take care of you,” she said
sensuously.

“I don’t need you, nor do I want you,”
snapped Gavin.

“You will.” Chandler looked down on him. He
was still sitting on the couch with his shirt open and his pants
unzipped. His hardness had not faded. “Looks like you do.”

“Leave now, Chandler. You’ve done enough to
hurt me and Faith.”

“She’s obviously the one doing the hurting.
She hasn’t taken care of you.” Chandler took off her coat, letting
it drop to the floor. She was completely naked underneath.

Gavin wasn’t amused. “I don’t know what you
think you’re about to do, but you’re sadly mistaken.”

She tipped her head to the side. “You don’t
want it that way. That’s fine. I can still take care of you.”
Chandler knelt down and pulled on Gavin’s pants and boxer briefs
just enough to expose his manhood.

“Don’t touch me, Chandler,” Gavin tried to
say as she leaned in and took him in her mouth. He wanted to push
her away, but her warmth was stimulating, and he needed the
release. Chandler’s head bobbed up and down, as Gavin sat still,
moaning and groaning from the pleasure.

Twenty minutes later, Faith pulled up to the
house. She noticed the other car and wasn’t sure what to think. She
quietly opened the front door, slipped out of her shoes and walked
down the hallway. Fearing the worst, she could hear the moans
coming from Gavin. Her body became tense, and she began to get sick
to her stomach. As she got closer to the couch, she could see
another woman’s head situated above his groin area. Tears filled
her eyes when she realized who it was. She stepped into Gavin’s
view, without saying a word. Her face said it all.

Gavin looked up, shocked to see Faith
standing there.

“Chandler, stop,” he said, keeping his eyes
on Faith. Chandler didn’t listen.

He tried again, “Chandler, stop.” She ignored
each attempt he made to get her to stop.

Gavin watched as tears began to stream down
Faith’s face, their eyes staying locked on each other. Chandler
increased her pace, bringing Gavin to climax within minutes. To
Faith, it felt like a lifetime, as she stood observing the man she
loved quivering from the stimulation of another woman. They never
took their eyes off of each other, as Gavin began to tear up from
the pain he saw in Faith’s face. Chandler allowed Gavin to empty in
her mouth. When he was done, she pulled away, wiped her lips and
smiled wryly.

“It was good to taste you again,” Chandler
said.

Keeping his eyes on Faith,
Gavin sternly told Chandler, “Get out.” Faith’s eyes seemed to ask
the question
‘Why?’

Chandler picked up her coat as she stood up.
She put it on, buttoned and tied it. Walking near Faith, she
stopped.

“Told you he’d come running back to me.”

Faith didn’t flinch, and stood in a trance,
still holding her gaze on Gavin. As soon as Chandler was gone, he
pleaded with her, pulling his pants up and zipping them.

“Faith, please. Let’s talk about this.”

“I shouldn’t have come here. This was a
mistake.”

“I didn’t want her here. I tried to stop her,
but I needed a release.”

Faith nodded. “I should go.”

“Please, no. Please don’t go. Talk to me,” he
said, standing.

She looked at him lovingly, stepped closely,
and kissed him with tears streaming down her face. She pulled away
slightly, gazing into his eyes.

“Goodbye.” She stepped away quickly and
almost ran down the hall. She put her shoes and coat on, never
looking back. As quickly as she came, she was gone. Gavin sat
quietly, once again alone.

When Faith got home, she opened the door as
quietly as she could so Emile wouldn’t know she was home already.
She peaked in on him to make sure he was doing okay. He was
sleeping as usual, or so she thought. She went to her room, changed
clothes, laid down on her bed, and cried herself to sleep.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

On Monday morning, Gavin was hoping he could
talk to Faith about what had happened. His heart was already broken
from having hurt her this way. He knocked on her door, having
picked up coffee on his way into the office.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he tried to
smile.

“Good morning.” Faith did manage to glance up
at him, but couldn’t smile.

Gavin handed her the coffee. She graciously
accepted it, “Thank you.”

That was it. She said nothing else, and
turned back to what she was doing before he walked in.
Disappointed, Gavin walked out and went to his own office. It was
not going to be easy to get through to her. When he left, Faith
stood up and went to the sink in her office, poured the coffee out
and disposed of the cup. Drinking it would only make her think of
him, and the only image that was coming to mind was that of
Chandler orally pleasing him. That was the last thing she wanted in
her head.

For two weeks, Gavin had the same routine,
each day bringing Faith her coffee, and each day, being
unsuccessful in getting her to talk. He noticed how tired she
looked. She had been crying herself to sleep every night.