Conquer (Control) (6 page)

It’d been weeks since Mommy brought me back here.  She promised me that Daddy had been sick, but had gotten better.  She told me that Daddy said he was sorry and that we could go back to living as a family again.  I didn’t believe her when she first told me we were coming back, and I don’t believe her now.  He’s still the same; angry and mean.

“Can we go back to the Center, Mommy?  I miss Paige.  You said we could go back to visit.”  I looked up into my mommy’s sad eyes and hoped that she would finally tell me we could go back for a visit.  I promised Paige I would go back to play with her, but Mommy keeps making excuses why I can’t go.

Mommy sighed and turned to start putting away the first aid supplies she had pulled from the cabinet in the bathroom.  She turned back to me and placed her hands on either side of me on the counter.  “Now Buddy, you know your daddy doesn’t want us going back there.  We need to get back out into the living room before your daddy gets upset.”

“He’s always upset, Mommy.  You said he’d be different…but he’s not.  We need to go back.  Please, Mommy.  Please, can we go back?”

Mommy looked like she was going to cry as I begged her to leave Daddy and go back where we could be safe again.  “No, Buddy.  Don’t ask again.  You know we can’t.”  Mommy put her arm around me and walked me back out into the living room.  Daddy was sitting on the couch watching T.V.  I couldn’t help but look at him as Mommy directed me to the chair farthest away from where Daddy was sitting.  Even though Mommy couldn’t physically stop Daddy when he got mad, she tried to keep me away from him.  It was the only defense that she had.  He never seemed to notice or care where she put me.  He’d just ignore me until I did something wrong again.

Mommy went into the kitchen to clean up the milk I’d spilled earlier.  I wiggled where I sat because I was bored and had nothing better to do.  Daddy never bought me any toys and Mommy had no money to buy them for me.  Most of my days were spent sitting here as he watched boring T.V.   I was supposed to be going to school, but Daddy wouldn’t let me.  He said I would only get in trouble and embarrass him.  He also said I was too stupid.  I hated waking up early in the mornings and watching the other kids as they waited for the big, yellow bus.  I always wanted to ride on that bus.

After Mommy finished cleaning the kitchen, she came back into the living room and sat on the couch with Daddy.  He didn’t even look over at her when she sat down.  She was always so quiet around him, never wanting him to notice she was there.  They were so different from Paige’s parents.  Her parents always smiled, never yelled, and I never saw Paige’s dad hurt Paige or her mommy.

We sat in the living room for an hour, silently watching whatever Daddy decided to watch.  When Daddy got up to go to the bathroom, I looked over at Mommy.  Her eyes followed him as he crossed the room and closed the bathroom door behind him.

Speaking in a whisper, I said, “Mommy, I’m bored. I wanna go see Paige.  I promised.”

Mommy’s eyes shot to mine and her face looked afraid.  She silently shook her head and placed one finger against her mouth to tell me that I needed to be quiet.  I looked over at the bathroom door and saw that it was still closed.  “Please, Mommy.  Can we go do something?  All the other kids are outside playing.  I can hear them.  Can I go out with them?”

My whispers must have gotten louder as I continued begging Mommy to let me go play.  When the door to the bathroom swung open, it slammed against the wall, leaving a hole where the knob had hit.  Daddy stomped out and I looked up to see that his face was bright red and scary, like a monster under my bed.

“What’s your problem now, boy?!  What makes you think you get to go out and play?   You can’t even eat without spilling shit!  You’re too stupid to go playing by yourself.”

I was sick of Daddy calling me stupid.  They taught me things at The Center and I always did real well when I tried.  I learned how to read, and how to count and add. I don’t know what came over me, but I was tired of listening to Daddy say mean things about me.  “I’m not stupid.  I learned things when Mommy took me away from here.”

I heard Mommy gasp as Daddy lunged at me.  He grabbed me by the arm and flung me across the room.  When my body hit the wall, my breath was knocked out of me and I stared up at the ceiling.  I could hear Mommy pleading with Daddy to stop.  He picked me up again and threw me against another wall.  I was still trying to catch my breath as he reached for me again.  “You little shit!  This is why we named you Demon.  I knew even before you were born that you would be a useless brat!”

My head turned so that I could look over at Mommy.  Tears streamed down her face and I knew that she wouldn’t get up to stop him, she couldn’t.  Just as Daddy was about to reach for me again, someone knocked at the door.  Daddy’s head spun to look at the door and he motioned for Mommy to take me into another room.  Mommy got up from the couch and quickly moved over to me.  She picked me up and helped me walk into the bedroom.  She closed the door behind us and locked it before turning to grab the phone from the table.  As quietly as possible, she dialed a number.

“Maia, this is Kristy.  We need help.  Please help.  He’s hurting Buddy again.”

My eyes widened when I heard Mommy talking to Paige’s mommy.  She was asking them to come get us.  Even though my back hurt from what Daddy had done, I smiled knowing Mommy was getting us out of here.  Mommy looked at me as she spoke with Paige’s mommy and indicated that I needed to stay quiet.  As mommy was giving out our address, I heard the doorknob rattle as Daddy tried to get in the room.  When he found it was locked, he started banging against it and screaming for Mommy to open the door.  I heard wood splinter from the force of his banging and I trembled knowing that if he got through that door, he would hurt Mommy.

“Maia, hurry…please!”

~

~~ Paige ~~

Daemon sat straight up in bed, startling me awake.  I rubbed at my eyes and noticed that daylight had started streaming in from around the edges of the dark curtains.  Turning to Daemon, I noticed a fine sheen of sweat that covered his body.  He held his head in his hands and his back moved in and out with labored breathing. 

Sitting up, I placed my hand on his back.  I could feel his heart racing from beneath his rib cage.  “Daemon?  What’s wrong?”  My voice was raspy from sleep and I cleared my throat as I waited for him to respond.

Daemon didn’t speak or move for several seconds and I wondered if he had heard me.  “Daem…”  He moved so quickly that it startled me.  His hand came up, covering my mouth, while his large body turned and pressed me back down to the bed.  My eyes locked with his and I shuddered in response to the pain and turmoil I saw mingling within the depths of his beautiful blues.  When his gaze finally left mine, it traveled down by body.  I watched as heat replaced his pain and lust replaced his anger.  My body reacted to the change in his.   His free hand found both of my wrists and he pulled my arms above my head while using his legs to force mine apart.   The speed at which he had subdued me was staggering, but this nagging part of me fought against my body’s desire to go along with Daemon’s actions.

From under his hand, my words were muffled. “Daemon, we should talk first…”

Daemon’s only response was to tighten his hand over my mouth even more.   He nestled his face against my neck and when I felt his teeth clamp down at the junction of my neck and shoulder, my body arched up, only to relax back down in submission.  I gave up the idea of talking and settled back to allow Daemon to do as he pleased.

We had both slept naked and within seconds Daemon was buried so deep within me that the sudden fullness was a shock to my awakening body.  Involuntarily, I held my breath as Daemon held still above me awaiting my body to relax around the sudden invasion.  Daemon’s heated gaze shot to mine, locking me to his stare as he began to rock himself back and forth within me.  His hands let go of my mouth and wrists so that he could reach down and pull my legs around him.  Tentatively I reached up to run my hands through his hair, while still maintaining eye contact with him.   Desperation and need were written across his expression and I attempted to convey love and approval as I ran my hands softly down his shoulders and back.  I had no idea what was bothering him, but it was apparent he needed this intimacy to escape the turmoil within him.

Daemon moved fluidly above me, never releasing eye contact.  Thoughts and emotions were being spoken through his gaze and his actions, however he felt oddly distant from this coupling.    He held himself up with one hand, while running the other up the length of my body, only to pull away and brace his hands on either side of me.   My concern for him was all-consuming and my body wasn’t undergoing the usual build-up to a mind shattering peak that I was accustomed to experiencing with Daemon. He wasn’t there.    Within a few minutes, he stiffened above me and after finding his release, he relaxed against me before immediately getting up and walking into the bathroom.   Never had I felt like such a means to an end, a tool used for one purpose, without thought as to my feelings or needs.

What.  The Hell.  Was that?!

I laid there staring at the bathroom door.  I didn’t know if I should get up and go try to talk to him, or roll over and pretend like I’d fallen back asleep.    I sat up, resting back on my elbows trying to make a decision when the bathroom door flung open.  Daemon stomped out of the bathroom and immediately headed towards the closet.  A few seconds later, he emerged from the closet wearing a loose pair of jeans and threw the bedroom door open to leave the room.  I was left there, naked and confused.

Picking my pride up off the floor, I climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom to get cleaned up.  My feet padded against the cool tile as I made my way over to the shower.  My hand flicked on the water.  I felt oddly
dirty
after that encounter and I mused over the fact that, possibly, I was just grouped with the previous
other women
in Daemon’s life.  I couldn’t understand why those women would ever be satisfied with being used in such a manner.  There was no emotion, no connection, nothing!   After the temperature reached a suitable level, I stepped underneath the spray of the water and allowed it to wash away the slime of hurt and rejection that was clinging to my skin.  My eyes peeked open occasionally as I waited for Daemon to suddenly appear and apologize for his actions.  He never showed up.

I stepped out of the shower, dried off and threw on one of Daemon’s large t-shirts and a pair of boxers.  It would have been more convenient for me to move my belongings into Daemon’s room, but after that little escapade, I wasn’t sure if I should.  My mind ran over the events of the night before, and I couldn’t think of anything I had done that would have distanced him.  

Rounding the corner into the living room, I found David sitting on the couch.  Daemon sat in a chair opposite him.  I flashed David my signature ‘we have to talk’ look, but made sure to keep my eyes from Daemon’s gaze as I passed.  The coffee was already made and I entered the kitchen before swiping a mug from the cabinet.   I mixed together my usual concoction and leaned against the counter sipping my caffeinated bliss.  My eyes were trained on the kitchen island and I was saddened to remember what Daemon and I had done on the surface of that island.  Well, okay,
that
particular moment wasn’t sad in and of itself, but my memory was being hijacked by the dejected feeling from the incident this morning.

Footsteps interrupted my thought process and I looked up to see Daemon standing at the entryway of the kitchen.  His eyes were trained to a spot behind me and tension was visible in his shoulders and stance.  “I need to leave for a while today to go deal with the investigators at the club.  Some contractors will also be coming out to discuss repairs, so it may be a while before I’m able to return home.  I’ve talked to Alex and he will be arriving shortly to hang out with you and David.”

I turned to see what Daemon could be looking at, but after finding nothing of interest, I determined that he was simply avoiding looking me in the eye.   My stubborn side wanted to play along with his little game, because I would be damned to give in first, but, I had no idea what had just happened between us.  So, I gave in and asked.

“What did I do to upset you, Daemon?”

His body shifted slightly on his feet and his hands reached up to swipe his keys roughly from the countertop beside him.   A resigned sigh sounded from him.  He finally met my stare and his face instantly fell.  My heart was beating against my chest as trepidation and doubt flooded my system.  “You didn’t do anything, Paige.  I apologize for this morning.”  Another sigh escaped him.  “It was just…a bad dream…and I…I don’t know.  It was just a bad dream and I…fuck!
”
   Three large steps and he was by my side taking me into a hug.  Pressed against his chest, I could hear his heart thumping away.  

This is the part where the old Paige would have planted both her fists into his chest and prevented him from holding her…but I was trying to be
partner
Paige, so I allowed him to hold me.  The sarcasm that followed, however, could not be helped. 

“Of course, that actually makes sense.  I, too, appreciate treating people like a piece of meat after a bad dream.  I’m surprised I didn’t think of that this morning.  I should have known.”  Contempt dripped from my words and Daemon flinched in reaction. 

His voice was whisper quiet as he responded.  “I’m sorry, Paige.  I had a dream about my parents.  It’s been a while since I’ve dreamed of them and…I didn’t intend for it to seem like I used you.  I wanted to connect with you, I just couldn’t.”

“You’ll have to explain that a little bit better, Daemon.”

He pulled back from me and held me at arm’s length.  His blue eyes bore down on me and I could see regret and guilt within them.  “Sex has always been an escape for me.  I never connected any emotion to it until I found you again.  It was always just a way for me to blow off whatever was pissing me off at that moment so I didn’t put my fist through some asshole’s face.”   He appeared embarrassed by his admission, but I could understand what he was saying.  Up until finding Daemon, sex had been the same for me.  His forehead came down to rest against mine and his eyes closed in obvious frustration.  “That dream was more than I’ve had to handle in a long time, Paige, and I thought I could just chase it away with my feelings for you.  The anger didn’t dissipate as I thought it would.”