Confessions from the Principal's Chair (11 page)

I made my face look expressionless. "No. There's no need for you to go up, and there's not much to tell." I shrugged (oh, sure I know I had decided to give that up, but it fit so well here). "Just like any other miserable first days in a strange school." I gave a bitter little laugh. "No, this one was truly worse. These kids actually seemed afraid of me, and the teachers didn't even like me, except one coach." I thought of saying that the coach had tried to hit on me, had actually asked me out. I didn't tell that, though,, I knew Rendi would be calling the school on that one., When they put her through to the principal, she would recognize my voice.

She frowned. "I'm sorry you feel that way, honey. Maybe tomorrow will be better."

"Tonight is Halloween," I said. "I'm missing Ivory's party."

"You can call the girls if you want to," she said. "Maybe that will make you feel better."

I sighed long and sad. "No. Thank you, though, for giving me a chance to talk to my real friends. I think it would just make me too lonely right now. We don't have anything in the house to give to trick-or-treaters. Do you want me to walk to the grocery store to get some candy?"

"No, let's go out to Judy's and eat, if you're hungry. I didn't have any lunch, and I'm starved. We can stop at the grocery on the way back for candy."

"Judy's restaurant? I don't want to eat there."

"Why? It's the only place in town."

"Yeah," I said, and I rolled my eyes. "I am aware of that, believe me. I mean I know how tiny this place is."

"The food was good, remember, and Judy is so nice. She'll be glad to see us there. Go put on your jeans. You'll feel better when you get out of that suit. Honey, those things you bought make you look at least ten years older. It's little wonder the kids at school may have been sort of standoffish with you. Wouldn't you like to take back the ones you haven't worn?"

"Maybe I will take three of them back," I said, "but I want to wear one more tomorrow."

"Why do you want to wear one more?"

I shrugged and admitted to myself that I could never give it up, not while I was still a kid. Rendi went back to the subject of eating. "Come on, go change, and let's go to Judy's. I remember seeing a sign when we were there the other day about the burrito special they have on Mondays."

"I don't want another burrito. I mean, that's what the cafeteria served today," I said, but then I thought, maybe Angie wouldn't be at Judy's. She couldn't work night and day could she? Besides with different clothes and my hair down, she probably wouldn't connect me with school. It might be sort of fun to play with her mind. "Okay," I said. "I'll go change."

"Good," said Rendi when I came out. "You look more like my Bird now." I had taken the notepad with the note still on it from my jacket pocket and put it carefully into the back pocket of my jeans. It might get wrinkled there, but not like the terrible way it would have in a front pocket. It had occurred to me while I was getting dressed that I wasn't likely to get a chance to deliver it now anyway. I couldn't go into the grocery store dressed as a kid. Kash Edge was definitely brighter than Angie and probably a lot more observant. I took it along, though, in case an opportunity came up.

It did. We were near the grocery store when Rendi said, "You know we might as well stop for the candy first, since we're right here. Do you want to run in to get it?"

"No," I said. "I just saw some kids going in there. I don't want to see anyone else from Thomas Jefferson Middle School today. You do it, please."

Rendi pulled the car into a parking space and got out. Just then I saw Kash! He rode up to the front of the store on a bike. What a sight! His hair glowed like gold in the afternoon sun. He had changed out of his school clothes. He wore khaki shorts and a blue T-shirt. I wished I could have been close enough to see if the shirt made his eyes look totally blue, but then I would have been close enough for him to see me. As it was, I leaned back close against the car seat. Kash never looked in my direction.

He rested his bike against the building. My mind raced. There was a basket on the bike. I could put the note in the basket, but how could I be sure Kash would notice a piece of paper lying in the basket? The wind was blowing, sweeping down the plain, just like in the song. The note might even blow out and never be seen by those dreamy blue-green eyes.

Then I saw it! Right outside my window was a rock. It was exactly the right size, not huge, but big enough to be noticed. "You wonderful rock," I said to myself, and in no time I was out the door, had the rock in my hand, and was headed toward the bike.

Rotten luck! Just as I reached it, the door of the grocery store opened and out stepped Serenity Blair. She had a bag in her arms, and I could see a loaf of bread sticking out the top. "Wow, Ms. Miller!" she said. "You sure look different in jeans."

I pulled myself up straight and reached in my mind for the Principal Miller. "Good afternoon, Serenity,"

The girl just stood there staring at me. "Why you got a rock in your hand?" I could feel the principal inside me getting aggravated.

"I collect them," I said. "Now, Serenity, if there is nothing more you need to say, maybe you should step out of the doorway. Someone else may want to come out, and no doubt you should get home with your groceries and everything." I waited for her to speak, but she said nothing. "Go, Serenity!" I yelled, and I pointed my arm off toward where our car was parked.

"Okay, okay," she said, "but if it's all right with you, I'll go in the other direction. That's toward my house."

"By all means [good phrase, huh?]. Go in the direction of your house."

She started to move, but she turned back when she had taken only a few steps. "I wish the kids at school could see you like that," she said.

They'll get a chance, I thought, but I didn't let Serenity in on the information. Instead I moved toward the door like I was going in. When she rounded the corner and was out of sight, I stepped back, took the note from my pocket, stashed it in the basket, and laid the rock on it.

In the car again, I leaned back against the seat, but I couldn't get comfortable. I shifted myself around. That note was so confusing. What good would it do? But Madam Zelda had told me to let him know. I pulled the pad from my back pocket. "Kash," I wrote. "Someone really likes you. You will find out who your admirer is before long."

I grabbed the door handle, jumped from the van, and ran to the bike. I moved the rock, stuffed the first note in my pocket, put down the new one, and replaced the rock. I still had my hands on the bike when Rendi came out the door with a bag in her arms, but I didn't know she was there until she said, "Bird?"

I jumped away from the bike. "Oh, you're ready to go, huh? I was just looking at this bike. It's nice, don't you think?"

Rendi smiled at me. "I saw the boy who rode up on that just as I was going in. I'd bet you were more interested in him than in his bike. His dad owns this store, and he works in there. He told me he was in the eighth grade. Anyway, he said kids his age trick-or-treat here. Just walk around town having a good time. I thought—"

"Mother!" I screamed. "You didn't mention me to him. Tell me that you didn't or I'll die!"

She handed me the bag of candy. "Calm down. I didn't say a word about you, knew you wouldn't like it. I wanted to say, '1 have the cutest daughter out in the car. Why don't you go out there and ask her to go trick-or-treating with you tonight?'"

"Puh-leeze, Mother." I rolled my eyes, but all the time I was getting in the van I couldn't help picturing it, Kash and me, maybe in matching costumes, something like Bert and Ernie. I wouldn't want to be a stupid princess or anything. No, we would look cute as a team. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen Bert and Ernie masks. Maybe we would have to paint our faces. Kash could be Bert with a yellow face. We'd need a sort of reddish color for my face. I was still daydreaming about it when we stopped in front of the cafe.

I got scared. "There aren't any other cars," I said. "You know they always say don't go to restaurants if there are no cars parked outside."

"We know the food's good, honey." She turned the car in to park in front. "There aren't any other cars because it's just after four, too early for most people." We got out. Just before Rendi opened the door, I told myself to forget the principal. You're Bird now, a rotten teenager who hates this town. I felt myself slouch.

"Hey, here come my girls." Judy waved at us from behind the counter. I didn't see Angie anywhere, and I didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. Judy came over to take our order.

Mom ordered a burrito, and I said, "Me too," when Judy looked at me.

"I guess your burritos smell pretty good," Mom said to Judy. "Bird told me she didn't want one because they served them today in the cafeteria."

"Really?" Judy raised her eyebrows. "I've never heard of Doris Davis trying to make burritos. I've known Doris forever, think the world and all of her, but," she lowered her voice like someone might hear us, "the woman can't cook." She laughed. "Not a good thing for the head of the entire school cafeteria. Mind you, she's got a heart as big as Texas, but cinnamon rolls are the only thing she can make." She reached out and patted my shoulder. "Don't you go repeating what I said about her cooking."

"Oh, I won't. I know how important secrets can be."

When Judy brought our food, she sat down in the booth beside Rendi. "I'm all ready for the dinner crowd," she said. "Bird, you tell me what you thought of our middle school."

I looked down at my burrito. I didn't know how to answer. I didn't want to hurt Judy's feelings by saying stuff about how I hated the school, but I didn't want to change the story I'd told Rendi either. "Well," I said, "one of the things I like best is the principal. She's just a substitute, I guess."

"That's right, David Lawrence has to be out for a while on account of his heart surgery."

"I can sure see why he might have heart trouble," I said. "Being the principal of a middle school is awful hard." I noticed how surprised Rendi looked. "Well, it is," I said. "You probably don't even know it, but I think about things like that."

Rendi grinned and sort of looked down. I wasn't sure what the smile meant. "Tell us about this interim principal," she said, but before I had a chance to talk, she looked at Judy and added, "You see, it is rather unusual for Bird to take to a school administrator or for them to truly enjoy her."

I shrugged. "I don't know. I talked to her when I enrolled. She's real young for one thing. I think that probably helps her understand kids. Today was her first day at the school, just like me."

"Heard they'd got some young woman from the city," said Judy. "Wonder where she's living. Sort of thought she might want to rent my place. 'Course that was before you two came. I'd rather have you."

I smiled at Judy around my bite of burrito. I was on a roll, though, and I wanted to say more about the principal. "Oh," I said, "I almost forgot. Her name is Robin Miller, just like mine. Isn't that wild, two Robin Millers coming to that little school on the same day?" I bent my head to one side and looked up at the ceiling, thinking. "You know, there was something real familiar about her. She couldn't be a relative or something, could she, Rendi?"

"No, I didn't name you after a relative, Bird."

I was kind of bummed out about how Rendi had told Judy about my trouble with principals. I thought of a way to get even. "Oh, yeah, I forgot you named me Robin because your mother said she didn't want her granddaughter named for a bird." A sudden understanding came to me. "Hey, that's why you called me 'Bird' right off, wasn't it, to get at Grandma?" Rendi's face turned red, and I was sort of sorry I had embarrassed her. "See, Judy, my grandparents always wanted to tell Rendi how to raise me. That's why we don't have much to do with them."

Judy smiled. "Never works for the older generation to go trying to tell grown-up kids what to do." She reached out and sort of patted Rendi's hand. "Kind of a shame, though, not having your folks part of your lives." She might have said more, but just then the front door swung open, and in came Angie.

"Hi, everyone," she called out. I had lost my nerve and no longer wanted to see her. I held my breath, hoping she would go on back to the kitchen, but she didn't.

She came over to lean against our booth on Rendi's side. "Oh, yeah," she said. "You're the two who had the run-in with our deputy. You get settled into your new home yet?"

I didn't even listen to Rendi's answer. Just kept my eyes down, and shoveled the burrito into my mouth, hoping that would keep anyone from asking me any questions.

"You start to school yet?" I heard the question, but I pretended not to, just kept eating.

"Yes," said Rendi, "Bird went to school today, but she seems to be too busy scarfing down Judy's great burrito to answer."

I swallowed and said, "Oh, yeah, I went."

Angie leaned close to me. "You meet that weird principal?"

I nodded my head, but I didn't look up, just kept on chewing. "Just wondered," said Angie. She walked back toward the kitchen then, and I glanced up. She turned back twice to stare at me, her face screwed up in thought.

We were almost finished with our burritos when Sheriff Walters came in and headed for our booth. "Put your hands in the air," he said, but he laughed. "Just funning you." He took off his cap and used it to tap my shoulder. "Scoot over Sparrow, and I'll join y'all."

"The girl's name is Bird, Clyde," said Judy. I looked at Rendi, expecting her to say we were finished, but she was smiling. I scooted over, and the sheriff joined us. Angie had his burrito and ice tea there before he was completely settled.

"You been chiseling away?" the sheriff asked Rendi.

She told him then about how she didn't chisel out of stone and how she builds a framework and takes it to a foundry to get it cast. "I'll be able to work metal by hand too as soon as my tools arrive." Judy and the sheriff seemed majorly interested in sculpting. Rendi told them how she had pieces in shows and museums and how that is the way she sells things and even has people ask her to make special pieces for them. She ended up by saying she hadn't sold anything much lately. "I may be asking Judy for a job here by December," she said.