Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) (27 page)

I swipe my tears away quickly. I always knew Calvin had suffered deep pain, but not all this. Calvin once told me that he needed to keep his mind occupied. That the world would be a boring place without challenges. Georgia had told me in Vegas that Calvin had an overactive mind that
constantly had to be fed, but I didn’t think they meant all of this. I’m not mad that Calvin didn’t tell me about this part of his life. I feel wounded for him. Maybe he thought he couldn’t tell me?

“So what about now?” I sniff, n
ot being able to suppress tears. “What’s Calvin’s focus now?”

“You.” Calvin’s voice answers my thoughts. I dart my
head in the direction of him stood in the door way of the bathroom. He’s changed into a dark blue jumper with the rolled up sleeves, denim jeans and brown boots with the laces done up loosely. His hair his still wet as he combs it messily, to the side with his hands. How does this man look sensational all the time, and I’m sat here looking like shit?

How am I even allowed
to be with him right now?

I’ve been so wrapped up in Ashton, with him telling me all these revelations, that I’d forgotten anything else.

Calvin’s adoring billion dollar smiles hits me hard. Just like it did the first night I met him.
His
billion dollar smile that is incomparable. That makes me stop whatever I’m doing just to stare.

His focus now, is me, and I won’t begin to try and make you unders
tand how that feels to hear.

“How long have you been stood there?”

“Long enough.” He smirks, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed, then raises his eyebrow in Ashton’s direction.

Ashton throws hi
s hands up in the air playfully. “What did I do?”

“Telling Olivia more than she needs to know.” Calvin makes his way over to the bed. He sits behind me then pulls me up to place me between his legs. I turn my head around to face him.

“You don’t want me to know this stuff about you?” I frown inquisitive.

Calvin brings his finger up to decrease my frown on my forehead. “Stop frowning. Of course I want you to know. Ashton saved me a job.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

I smack him playfully, to which he laughs at.

“I’m shocked that you got Ashton to talk.” He’s shocked?

“Me too.”

“Me three.” Ashton joins in laughing.

“So you got into fights at school a lot of the time?” I turn my body around so I’m facing Calvin. He leans back on his elbows while I sit next to him cross legged.

“I was like Rocky Balboa.” He grins devilish and handsome.

I shake my head at his attitude. He’s never going to be able to take anything seriously, while Ashton laughs out loud boxing his fists in midair. They seem to both have that cocky confident attitude.

He finally stops grinning and qu
its with the sarcastic comments while I still wait for him to answer my question.

“We both got into fights. We never let anyone say a
bad word about each other. We always had each other’s backs.”

"That I can believe." I mean, Calvin and Ashton both have bad tempers. I can imagine them going through school with so much anger inside of them. It’s so wrong for children to live with. I briefly wonder if that is why Ashton is here. Calvin is protecting me, and Ashton is protecting Calvin. If I'm right,
my heart brakes for them both.

Ashton chuckles thinking.
"Yeah, we were never the retreating type, but I was much worse. Calvin knows when to stop, but me, I don’t have an off button and that’s scary sometimes."

I listen intrigued to the details they are both sharing with me. Watching on in awe at how these two brothers have stuck together. How much they have each other’s backs and how much they love one another. It’s a wonderful thing.

Calvin told me how bad Ashton was but he’s never really gone into depth to what they both went through. I can imagine it’s incredibly hard to talk about.

"Calvin’s never told you any of this?" Ashton’s a little shocked. I look over to Calvin who’s studying me carefully. He doesn’t know how I’m going to react to that question. I think he feels sorry that he never has but I’m not angry that he hasn’t.

"He tells me things, but doesn’t really go into detail about much." I talk about Calvin to Ashton like he’s not here. But I give him a reassuring glance all the same.

"Yeah, he fin
ds it hard to open up sometimes. He’s always been the life and soul of a party kind of guy, but any personal feelings, he hides. Unless he feels really comfortable with that person to talk. And when he does. That’s rare. He’s only ever spoke to our gran about things.
"

“Hello. I am here.” Calvin adds waving his hand around, addressing the fact we’ve been talki
ng about him like he’s not.

My eyes start to well up all of a sudden. I didn’t understand any of this about Calvin. He’s never told me that partying was his copy mechanism. He’s never told me how he happened to start a life in polka. He told me it was because they got to travel and make easy money. Maybe he’s ashamed of that? Ashamed of the way he
’s dealt with it. But he shouldn’t be. Everybody’s different. Calvin dealt with the death of his parents by occupying his mind so there was no room for pain, and Ashton dealt with it by beating himself up over not being able to protect them, even stopped himself for ever falling in love. They have both had afflicted, broken lives. It's heart-breaking.

Every new bit of information about Calvin that I get, I cherish. I want to know every part of this man’s lif
e. To think these two brothers have stuck together throughout all this, is amazing to me. It chocks me up thinking about it.

"Hey," Cal
vin nudges me as he spots tears. "You Okay?"

"I’m Okay, it’s just finding all this out about you two. Then realizing how amazing it is to see you both stay together like you have."

"You’re making my girl cry." Calvin scolds Ashton sternly, but he’s not serious. He brings me into him, but I pull away wiping my tears.

Ashton apologies then teases me.
“Olivia’s a crier, what can I say.” He smirks.

“Leave her alone.” Calvin comes to my defense kissing me on my forehead.

“It’s Okay. I can handle Ashton,” I grin. Ashton laughs at my comment, “Oh, really?” He challenges playfully.

I have to agree though,
I’m an emotional wreck.

"I’m just going to
grab a shower and get dressed." I murmur climbing out of Calvin’s grips, leaving them too it. I pick up my bag and head into the bathroom feeling the gaze of their blue eyes behind me but I don’t look back.

As soon as I shut the bathroom door, I walk over to the t
oilet, put the lid down and sit quietly. I run my hands through my hair on a deep sigh, thinking about what my next move is meant to be. I feel so drained by all of this. I wish Ashton or Calvin could keep talking to me because for a second when they speak, I jump into their world and forget about mine.

I stand up walking to
wards the sink and turn on the faucets. I let them run for a while as I glance up into the overhead mirror at my complexion. God, I look withdrawn and so pale. My eyes are red with pink circles underneath. I quickly wash my face with the water hoping I might look a little better, but it’s no use. I take my tooth brush out of my bag and quickly brush my teeth. After that I change into a white tank top and my favorite cream knitted cardigan. I keep the jeans I have on and slip my feet into a black pair of ankle boots, then pull my hair up into a hair tie. I should take a shower but I have zero energy.

After trying to present myself decent, I take back the seat on the toilet lid and have some thinking time, for mysel
f
.

"Olivia what are you doing in there?" I close my eyes to Calvin’s soft voice and take a deep breath.

"Just having a wash."

“You been in there almost an
hour. Can I come in?” I sense the urgency in his voice. Maybe he thought I’d done something stupid.

“Yes.” I answer him with the little effort I can produce.

He walks in looking straight at me, studying me from head to toe quickly, then turns to shut the door. I smile at him, trying to look convincing, trying to act like I’m fine, but he doesn’t smile back. His gaze upon me is quizzical. He bends down in front of me, resting his hands on my knees.

I purposely cheer up. I don’t want him worrying about my state of mind.

"I love how informative my conversation with Ashton was back then."

Ca
lvin cocks his head to one side. "You did?"

"Hmm, why do you look so worried?"

"I’m worried about you."

“I’m sorry if I seem like I’m prying, but I
need to know everything Calvin. I can’t have any more secrets and lies.”

He pulls me into him, so I’m sat on his lap, while he sits on the bathroom floor. I try to ignore how unhygienic the place is.

“You can ask me whatever you want Olivia, I’m the one who’s dragged you into this. I know you’ll want answers, so I’ll do my best to answer them for you. Each and every one.”

I turn my head to face him, pressing my lips into his. I kiss him for being so thoughtful.

He pulls away looking into my eyes, holding my cheek. “We Okay?”

“Yes,” I sigh.
“I look like shit.”

“You do not look like shit, you look beautiful baby, as always.”

“Always?” I frown.

“Always.”

Chapter Twenty Five*

Ashton pulls out the last bagel making Calvin scowl at him when he discards of the empty bag.

"Did Olivia eat any of that?" He’s in his no nonsense mood. I look over at Ashton quickly, secretly hoping he will cover for me. He hesitates and I almost think he’s going to have my back when, "No, she didn’t."

I glare at him as he shrugs. "Sorry, but come on Liv’s, you got to eat." He points out apologetically.

Calvin looks at me furious. "Yes she does!" He snatches the last filled bagel out of Ashton’s hand and holds it in front of me.

"I’m not hungry." I insist.

"You haven’t eaten properly in days Olivia. Do you want me to feed you?" The way he glares at me I think he would and all.

"No." I snap, "I’ll eat it." I snatch the food of his hands and take small bites.
Christ.

Calvin watch
es me the whole time until the entire thing is gone. "Happy." I smile sweetly wiping the crumbs off my lap.

"Yes." He nods finally taking his eyes off me.

It’s quiet in the motel room for a while. Ashton and Calvin try to get the TV working as I sit near the window, watching the heavy rain outside. After boredom sets in of having imaginary races with rain drops down the window, I flick through my photos on my cell. I’m so glad that these photos have saved. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost all these memories.

There’s so many of me and Calvin. Myself and Elise. Photos on her wedding day, of her dress, she looks beautiful. I then stop and hover over the ones of myself, Tyler, Madison and Sophia. We look so happy and trouble free.
Most of them taken at Tyler’s slumber party’s he used to have occasionally. They were so much fun and become sort of a Saturday ritual when we were in university. There are so many of my birthday; the night I met Calvin. I don’t think I will ever forget that night. That’s the night my world was well and truly turned upside down.

I smile fondly at the pictures, but I feel extremely distressed at the same time. I just hope that it will be the same again one day. I wish I didn’t take them days with my loved ones for granted. I wish I cherished each da
y like it was my last with them, because really, you don’t know when it will be your last.

I hope Tyler cools off
from his hissy fit soon. I don’t know how he will take the news when he finds out the truth. He will probably have a heart attack. I know I can’t call Tyler, and with him being so stubborn he will not call me either. Madison hasn’t called me since I had those missed calls from her. But that’s no surprise there. I always make the most effort where she’s concerned, but I still miss her like crazy. I miss our normal Sunday gym routine and our girly chats. I even miss her and Tyler ending up in a slanging, bitching match every time we got together. And Sophia, she’s still my sister not matter what. She’s like a best friend to me in so many ways. Even though she can be selfish at times and so annoying, I love her to death. She must know what’s going on by now. I can’t imagine how she’s taking it. Her dad being on one hand then my mom on another. I sincerely hope she’s looking after my mom though, but I’m not in denial about how much she adores her father. She would rather be in the wrong and take his side. I also stare at a photo of myself and Mayra. My hearts sinks. Mayra means so much to me. I don’t understand why I can’t use my cell or answer it. She has been ringing me nonstop and it kills me to ignore her. I have put my cell on silent to stop the pain when I hear it ring.

“Piece of shit!” Ashton bangs the top of the TV with his fist. Obviously they can’t get it working then. I chuckle at his outburst while I watch Calvin looking oddly at the TV wondering what the hell they’re doing wrong.

“Fuck it, I got a deck of cards in my rucksack.” Ashton declares. “Wana play?”

Calvin looks over at me, in a sort of, you-in way?

I shrug casually. “Sure.” What else is there to do in this dump?

Ashton looks all excitable like a child as he brings out the pack of cards.

“Okay. Poker?”

I cringe inwardly. “I don’t know how to play.”

Ashton recoils surprised. “No way? Your boyfriend is one of the best around and you don’t know how to play. Why haven’t you taught her bro? You taught Gorge...”

“Ashton! Choose another game.” Calvin closes Ashton down before he finishes his sentence.

Ashton looks at me and makes a ‘yikes’ expression. It makes me giggle but Calvin is not impressed. Yes it hurts to think about Calvin sitting down with Georgia, showing her the rules of how to basically run a casino out of money, but only because I hate the thought of Calvin spending time with her, but she’s history now.
I hope.

Ashton has another suggestion,
“Baccarat?”

I shake my head in confusion,
“No idea.”

“Red and Black?”

“Nope.”

“Rolling stone?”

“Is that the band?”

“Pig?”

“Excuse me?”

Ashton bursts out laughing so Calvin takes the reigns losing patience.

“We’ll play black jack, something simple. Olivia, give me strength and tell me you know how to play this?”

I look at Calvin’s tiresome eyes. I’m about to lie and say yes I do because it’s the game we played at the casino night I attended
for Tyler and Jamie’s birthday. But I wasn’t taking much notice, so I can’t lie, and the way Calvin is looking at me is almost like he’s losing the will to live. It’s actually quite humorous. So I be honest.

“Um, I’m quite rusty could you refresh my memory.” I say it as sweetly as I can. Calvin narrows his eyes at me accompanied by a smirk.
It’s sexy.

“Right, the object of the game is to beat the dealer, which will be me,” he grins, “it can be done in two ways. Get twenty one points on your first two cards, this is called a black jack. Or simply have a closer hand to twenty one then me. Are you following?”

I think so. “Yes.”

“Good, we have two cards each Okay, and we’re playing hand held. I’ll deal in one card at a time. I’ll ask you if you want another card once you’ve flipped the first two cards, after you’ve tallied up your score. If you do, answer with hit me. If you don’t, just say stand.”

Calvin informs me, placing a card each in front of me and Ashton then himself. I watch him intruded. I’d rather watch him speak to me all assertive and in his element than play stupid black jack.
It’s a sure as hell turn on.

“Oh and the ace can either be an eleven or a one. Following?”

I nod.

“Good. I go first.” Calvin flips over his card, showing its value. “Six.”

“Olivia?”

I look at my card then flip it over. “A queen?” I look from my card back to Calvin who has pursed his lips. “A ten.” He informs me on a nod.

Better than six.

Ashton’s next, he turns his card and curses. “Two! You’re shitting me.”

Calvin deals another card to each of us. I’m actually quite enjoying this.

Calvin goes next, he has a nine.

Now me. “A king.”

Ashton curses under his breath again, while Calvin looks on proudly.

“Now I have twenty?” I smile uplifted.

“That’s right baby.”

Ashton grumpily turns over his card. “Eight. Great.” He moans. He obviously doesn’t take well to losing. “Hey, you still might turn this one around.” I smirk, goading him. He raises his eyebrow at me amused by my jeering.

“Do you want another card
, Olivia?”

“Yes.” I smile. “Oh hit me.” I correct myself.

Calvin nods smiling. I turn my card over and reveal an ace. I gasp out of knowing I’ve just won.

“Can I count it as a one?”

Calvin laughs as Ashton throws the cards over the floor like a baby.

“Yes, you’ve won. Well done.” Calvin pulls me into a hug kissing me on my temple, while we laugh at Ashton’s moaning. “Beginners luck, that’s all it was.” He grumbles.

We play a couple more games and Calvin thrashes us on every single one and he’s so cocky about it, it’s hot. I’m starting to think that he somehow let me win the first game.

No, you’re right, I was great.

Late afternoon comes in no time. We’ve only been out once to a nearby diner to grab something to eat as I was starting to feel claustrophobic in this motel room. I don’t understand why we haven’t left yet. Every time I ask Calvin when we’re leaving he just says, ‘soon’ and kisses me trying to make me forget about what I just asked.

Calvin is laying on the bed with me resting on his chest. I have tried to get up a few times so that we don’t make Ashton feel awkward but Calvin pulls me back into him.

Instead Ashton pulls his cell out of his back pocket and switches it on. I’m about to tell him to turn it off but he soon puts my mind at ease. “Don’t worry Liv’s they haven’t tracked my cell, just Calvin’s.”

I look down at my own iPhone. “What if they done mine?”

“You haven’t called anyone have you? Called home?”

I shake my head. I’m not aloud too!

“So don’t panic.”

Then why is Calvin telling me not to? I think to myself. “He’s being over cautious.” Ashton smirks answering my thoughts.

As soon as Ashton’s cell comes to life, it begins to bleep, message after message.

“Aren’t I the popular one?” He grins a devilish cocky grin, similar to Calvin’s.

Calvin rolls his eyes and I lay back down onto his chest contently.

Ashton reads through messages then listens to a voice mail. While he listens, his forehead creases into a deep frown.

“You better listen to this.” Ashton tells Calvin impassively, glancing over to me quickly. Calvin stands of the bed and takes Ashton’s cell to his ear. Within moments, Calvin’s face drops, his completion turns pale.

My heart starts to thud, the pounding I can hear through my ears. I instantly fear the worst. Is it Mauricio?

“Fuck.” Calvin curses as he listens. He begins to run his free hand through his hair, clutching at it. “Fucking stupid girl.” He growls passing Ashton's cell back to him aggressively.

“Calvin?” I whisper, “What is it?”

“It’s Georgia. She’s dead.” He confirms looking towards Ashton, his face is furious, but he also looks extremely remorseful. “Georgia’s dead? What? How?”

“I don’t kno
w, she’s either killed herself or been killed.” Calvin answers me on a head shake looking knocked for six. His body is shaking.

“What did the voice mail say?” I keep asking these questions to try and block out the look on Calvin’s face. It’s killing me. He’s in obvious emotional pain. He cared for her I get that. I’m not selfish in to thinking that he shouldn’t care at all. But the feeling I’m getting, is that he’s blaming himself.

“The stupid, stupid fucking women. Why the fuck did she have to get involved. If I never took her in, if I never felt sorry for her...”

“Calvin don’t blame yourself you idiot. You did everything you could for that women. You cared about her more than you should have. What more could have you done? It’s not your fault she’s an evil twisted whore.” Ashton’s choice of words are harsh but that’s how he feels and for a reason.

Calvin continues to shout and curse, while Ashton tries to calm him down, obviously failing.

I stay glued to the bed. Even though I didn’t like her, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Why would she kill herself?

“Calvin, what did the voice message say?”

He turns away from me on his heel, continuing to grab on to his hair and curse.

“You don’t want to know.” He barks at me. I recoil at his abruptness. Yes I do want to know.

I hastily grab Ashton’s cell. Calvin isn’t fast enough to take it off me but he warns me from across the other side of the bed.

“Olivia, listen to me. You don’t want to hear that message. Please. Put the phone down.”

“No Calvin, I need to know. I told you before all this I can’t and won’t have things kept from me.” With that I press the voice mail button. I don’t know why I do it. It’s a moment of madness, moment of defiance and a moment of anger.

The voice of Georgia plays out into my ear.

I freeze as soon as the first word comes out of her mouth, her voice is callous and cold.

‘Ashton, I can’t get hold of Calvin. He won’t answer me. So please play him this message. Right now, I have Mauricio’s men outside my apartment. I’m going to tell them everything. I’ve lost Calvin, which means I’ve lost the battle to another women. I have always wanted him to fall in love, and now he has but it’s not with me, and I don’t like to lose. So now, I have to get pay back. Like you have always said, I’m a vindictive evil bitch when I want to be. And right now, I want to be. I’m going to tell them everything. How Mauricio is the killer of your parents. How you both have played him, how you’ve tried to ruin him. I know more than you think. I know Calvin took Mauricio’s plans about the warehouse when he was meant to be having such a lovely little diner party with that bitch. Let me think how, I’m just going to the toilet Olivia?”