Confessions (10 page)

“What do you see when you look at me?” Priest

asked. The question had been on his mind since he’d told

Luke the truth of what he did for a living. He stil ed, the

answer more important to him than drawing his next breath.

Luke stared up at him for several moments. “I see a

man who suffers to keep his country safe. I won’t pretend to

understand why you’ve chosen to do what you do, but I’m

sure a lot of people are alive because of it.”

Priest let out his breath, cupped Luke’s cheek, and

prayed Luke truly meant what he’d said. “It would be so

easy to let myself go with you.”

“So do it,” Luke whispered.

“I’ve never wanted to be responsible for someone

else’s life.”

“I’m not asking you to be responsible for me.”

No, Luke didn’t strike Priest as the kind of man who

needed to be taken care of. Stil he would be a weakness

for any of Priest’s enemies to exploit. He should put Luke

on the first plane back to Wyoming.

“Priest?”

Staring down into Luke’s trusting eyes, Priest knew

he couldn’t just walk away. Which meant he needed to

figure out who the hel he’d kil ed and why. “First thing in the

morning I need to make a trip to DC,” he announced.

“What? We just got here,” Luke started to argue.

“Just for the day. I’l be back tomorrow night.” Priest

knew he was taking a chance, but he couldn’t think of a

better way to throw the agency off track than to hack the

systems needed while in the DC area.

“Wil I be safe here?” Luke asked.

“You know how to shoot?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not in your league or anything, but

I’ve gone hunting before.”

What the hell am I doing? Priest released Luke and

walked into the kitchen. Luke was in the business of saving

people. How could Priest have dragged Luke into a life that

might require him to take a life?

Priest opened the fridge and pul ed out a can of beer.

He rarely drank. Liquor dul ed the senses and he couldn’t

remember a single time in his adult life that he hadn’t

needed to be in ful control. He’d asked the manager to

deliver a twelve pack along with the groceries, knowing

Luke enjoyed the stuff.

Taking his drink to the kitchen table, Priest pul ed out

a chair. He heard Luke wander into the room, but didn’t turn

around. “I keep tel ing myself I should break things off and

send you home.”

Luke appeared at his side, beer in hand, naked as

the day he was born. He climbed on top of the table in front

of Priest and took a swig of his beer. “Why?”

Looking at the expanse of beautiful y inked skin,

Priest found it difficult to think clearly. “I’m afraid of putting

you in the position of kil ing someone,” he admitted.

“I’ve done it before.” Luke tipped his can back and

took a long swal ow. “I’m not as innocent as you think I am.”

“Bul shit. Not being able to save someone’s life isn’t

the same as kil ing them.” Priest set his drink on the table.

He needed his hands free to touch, and Luke’s gorgeous

body nearly begged for it. The idea of Luke believing he’d

kil ed someone by not saving them set his teeth on edge.

“If I confess something I’ve never told a living soul,

would you trust me enough to tel me what’s real y going

on?” Luke asked, spreading his legs.

Priest shook his head. “I only hear confessions from

men destined to die. You aren’t one of those men.” There

was nothing Luke could confess that would come close to

Priest’s sins.

“Is that why they cal you Priest?” Luke asked.

“Yes.” He ran his hand up Luke’s thigh to encircle his

hardening cock. It’s time, he told himself.

“There was a woman here in Virginia that I was hired

to kil ,” Priest began. As he told Luke the entire story, he

continued to stroke Luke’s body. Luke’s brow furrowed as

Priest broke every rule in the book by giving him detailed

information on a hit.

Once he was finished, he pushed his chair back,

stood and kissed Luke softly on the lips. “That’s it. You

know everything I know about the situation I’m faced with.”

“We’re faced with,” Luke corrected.

Priest rested his hands on his hips. “You’re stil

determined to stay even knowing what you do about me?”

“I won’t lie, I’m scared shitless, but not of you. I can’t

pretend to understand what you’re going through. You

trusted these people to give you accurate information, but

now you’re blaming yourself for something that wasn’t your

fault.” Luke reached up and placed his hands on Priest’s

chest. “Maybe I’m completely out of my mind, but I’d be

real y pissed if I were you.”

“I am, but that might be a good thing. I’ve wanted to

quit for a while. Although I wouldn’t have chosen to go out

like this, at least I’l either be dead or free by Christmas.”

Luke wrapped his arms and legs around Priest. “I

vote for free. Why don’t you try cal ing that guy, Jeffries, you

told me about. I bet if you told him you wanted out he’d

understand.”

“He keeps leaving me messages, but I haven’t

listened to them,” Priest admitted. He picked Luke up and

carried him out of the kitchen.

“Why?”

“Bedroom?” Priest asked.

Luke pointed towards the other side of the living

room. “There’re two. I put my stuff in the one with the big

window that looks out over the val ey.”

Priest headed that way, nuzzling Luke’s neck.

“You didn’t answer my question. Why haven’t you

listened to your messages?”

“Because I can’t believe anything Jeff says at this

point. He’s good at what he does.” Priest sat Luke beside

the bed and started on removing his clothes. “We should

shower.”

“So talk to someone else. Surely Jeffries isn’t the only

one at the agency that you’ve dealt with.” Luke wandered

into the attached bathroom and turned on the shower.

“There’s a guy, Sul y, that Jessup thinks I should cal ,”

Priest said, thinking aloud. “Of course I don’t know if I can

trust him any more than I can Jeffries.”

“Who’s the boss at that place? Can’t you cal him?”

Luke asked, returning to the bedroom.

Priest removed his jeans and tossed them into the

corner. He wrapped his arms around Luke and carried him

back into the bathroom. “No one talks directly with the boss.

Hel , I don’t real y know who he is, but I do know the

agency’s front man.”

Luke opened the shower door and stepped under the

spray. “You should cal him. What do you have to lose?”

Priest shut the door and reached for a wrapped bar of

soap. He tore off the paper and threw it over the top of the

safety glass. He doubted he’d be able to get through to

Jasper, but it might be worth a try. At least he’d know

exactly where he stood.

After building a foamy lather in his hands, Priest set

the soap on the shelf. He started on Luke’s neck and slowly

made his way down, scrubbing every inch. “I’l give him a

cal tomorrow before I hack the DOD’s computer system.”

Luke lifted his arms and waited while Priest washed

them. Priest traced the red marks tattooed into the design

on Luke’s wrists. “What’re these?”

Luke pul ed his arm out of Priest’s grip. “Nothing.”

Priest’s eyes narrowed as he took a moment to study

the artwork covering Luke’s body. He tapped the Chinese

symbol for mother. Uncharacteristical y, Luke had a dagger

pierced through the letters. “Did your mother betray you?”

Luke’s eyes rounded. “You read Chinese?”

“Of course.” Priest motioned towards the tattoo.

“Answer my question.”

“Other way around. I betrayed her,” Luke admitted.

“I thought you said she died when you were a kid.”

“She did.” Luke picked up the soap. Turning his back

to Priest, he began to wash the rest of his body.

The simple action spoke volumes. Priest pressed

himself against Luke’s back. He took the soap out of

Luke’s hands and finished the job he’d started. “It’s none of

my business,” he whispered in Luke’s ear.

“No, it’s something you should know.”

“Not if it’s going to upset you,” Priest argued, cleaning

Luke’s groin.

“Growing up, my mom always put up an artificial tree.

One day at school I heard some kids talking about this

place outside Cattle Val ey that you could go and cut down

a real tree. I begged my mom for two weeks to get a real

tree for a change.” Luke turned around and stared up at

Priest. “She must’ve gotten tired of me whining about it

because she final y relented.”

Priest had a strong feeling he knew where the story

was going. He moved his cleaning efforts to Luke’s back

and ass as he continued to listen.

“I was asleep in the backseat when I felt the first jolt. I

opened my eyes in time to see the view out the window turn

upside down. It took a minute for me to realise what was

happening as the car continued to rol down an

embankment. I can stil remember covering my ears to

muffle the screams. It wasn’t until the car came to a rest that

I realised it was my screams that I’d heard.”

When Luke’s body began to shake, Priest dropped

the soap onto the floor and wrapped his arms around him.

“That’s enough. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“I haven’t gotten to the worst part yet.” He leaned his

forehead against Priest’s chest. “When I final y stopped

screaming, I heard my mom asking for help. I unbuckled my

seat belt and looked over the front seat. What I saw was a

monster. Evidently, a rock or stump…something, had

broken the windshield. Although I heard my mom’s voice,

the woman lying in the front seat had no skin on one side of

her face. Blood was everywhere, and the monster was

asking me to get help.” Luke shook his head. “I just sat

there, staring. I couldn’t even answer her. The next thing I

knew, a man was shaking me.”

Luke tried to pul out of Priest’s embrace, but Priest

refused to let him go. “It was dark and I was sitting by the

trunk of the car.” Luke shook his head. “Just sitting. I hadn’t

even tried to go get help.”

“You were in shock.”

“You think my mom would’ve let shock stop her from

trying to save my life? I let her down when she needed me

the most.” Luke shrugged. “I let everyone down eventual y.”

“Bul shit.” Priest reached over Luke’s shoulder and

turned off the water. He hoisted Luke into his arms and

stepped out of the shower. Never had he felt the urge to

protect someone from themselves, but Luke had obviously

al owed the past to colour his view of himself. He held Luke

with one arm as he grabbed a bath sheet off the shelf and

wrapped it around Luke’s shivering body. He pul ed back

the covers and laid Luke in bed. “I’l be right back.”

Priest left Luke alone as he set a kettle of water on

the stove. He gripped the countertop as he struggled to

breathe. Luke had punished himself his entire life because

as a child he’d been unable to help save his mother. How

many men had Priest kil ed without feeling an ounce of

remorse?

He was so lost in thought, the whistle of the kettle

made him jump. He fixed two mugs of hot tea and carried

them to the bedroom. Standing in the doorway, Priest

wasn’t surprised to find Luke sound asleep. He set the

cups down on the bedside table before grabbing his dirty

jeans. After fishing out the prepaid cel phone, Priest

dropped the jeans and walked back into the living room.

“Hel o?” Jessup answered.

“I’m out of my depth here,” Priest blurted out.

“What happened?” Jessup asked, sounding alarmed.

“I think I’m fal ing for the kid, and I don’t know what to

do about it.”

Jessup chuckled. “It’s about time the love bug bit ya.”

“It’s not funny,” Priest grumbled. “You know the kind of

man I am. The things I’ve done.”

“Yep, the same things I’ve done, and weren’t you the

one who helped convince me I was worth loving?”

“Not the same,” Priest said, shaking his head.

“It’s exactly the same.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t know the first thing about making

someone feel better when they’re down or how to take care

of someone who gets sick. These are skil s I’ve never

possessed.”

“Then I’d say it’s about time you learned.”

“I don’t have time to learn. I’ve got a mystery to solve

and an agency who would probably like nothing more than

to see me dead.”