Compromised Hearts (26 page)

He had been blindly in love with Dorothy when he married her. She had seemed to him to be the epitome of all that a lady should be, but looking deep within himself now, he could not find a trace of that feeling left.

It made him both sad and angry. He was nearly thirty and he really had nothing. There was a chance he could pull himself out of the hole he had dug for himself, but he was not all that sure it was worth it. The best thing might be to toss it all and start afresh.

The question was what to do about Dorothy. He knew he would have to try to make the best of that as well. Perhaps, with a little help from her, they could try to recapture what they had begun with, if only because he believed in honoring his vows and was not quite ready to give up on them. He watched her storm into the room and struggled to recall how sweet it had all been at the start.

“Well, just what do we do now, Harper?”

Her voice had sharpened considerably over the years, Harper thought. “Start again, I guess.”

“Start again? You mean give up the store and all this and begin with nothing?”

Looking around, he drawled, “All this? It’s furniture, carpets, frills. One can live without this, my dear.”

“I won’t.”

“I think you will have to learn to. Starting again is the only reasonable thing to do.”

Dorothy stared at her husband. He was plainly very serious, and worse, for once he was firm. She was not sure of how to handle him. All she could think of was buying time.

With time she could work out something with Chilton. She had seen the look in the man’s eyes. It flattered her in many ways. Harper was so trusting that a deal with Chilton should be easy to manage without Harper’s finding out.

After a few years of marriage she knew well how to soften her husband. With a smile that gave him visions of the early days of their love affair, she moved to sit beside him. Placing her hands on his thighs she looked up at him beseechingly.

“Just keep the store going for the winter, Harper. It’s too cold to move on now.”

“Well, I was not necessarily thinking of moving on.”

“Still, just for the winter. You’ve worked so hard for what we have. Don’t be so quick to toss it all away. Just a few more months’ efforts, that’s all I ask.”

Harper knew he was being bribed, but when her long fingers began to undo his trousers, he decided not to fight it. A few more months could not hurt. He tangled his fingers in her hair as she bent her head, her lips warm and eager. There could also be some benefits to waiting.

“All right, pet,” he rasped. “A few more months.”

Chilton’s mind was on Dorothy as he strode toward a house at the edge of town. He had no intention of allowing Harper to default on his loan. It would be amusing to see how hard and how long Dorothy would work before she realized that. With skillful handling, he could keep himself entertained for months. Then, at just the right moment, he would let Harper know just how much he had lost.

Catrina opened her door, but failed to slam it shut before Chilton had gotten inside. “What the hell do you want?”

“Why, to offer my condolences, of course. Aren’t you going to offer me a drink?”

Just as Chilton had thought she would, Catrina began to think in the direction of a possible reconciliation. She had lost her gamble with Cloud Ryder, but Chilton had claimed to love her not too long ago. If she could revive his passion she could recoup her losses.

“Of course. Come in and sit down. Whiskey with a dash of mineral water. Right?”

Making himself comfortable on a large well-cushioned settee, Chilton nodded. “You remembered.”

Handing him the drink she sat down close
to him. “I never really forgot you, Thomas.” She dabbed at suddenly moist eyes with the edge of her diaphanous nightgown. “When I saw him today, I realized it had all been some sort of madness. I just cannot explain it.”

“There’s no need, dear,” he said soothingly, handing her a hankerchief and putting an arm around her shoulders. “The man’s well known for his mysterious hold on women.”

“Oh, Thomas, you’re so understanding.”

Glancing at the hand she had placed high up on his thigh Chilton hid his triumphant smile. “I’ll admit that hurt, kept me blind for a while, but then I saw that you were only a victim.”

“That’s it exactly, Thomas. Can you ever forgive me my foolishness?”

“Of course,” he murmured. “I only turned to Emily out of loneliness you know.”

“Oh, Thomas, she could never give you what I can. Never.”

Recalling a parasol being broken over his head one of the few times he had tried to touch Emily, Chilton was able to be fully honest for the first time. “No, love, she couldn’t.”

He smiled to himself when her hand stroked the proof of his desire. It had been a lot easier than he had thought it would be. Catrina was clearly too vain to doubt him.

After a few more pats to her badly bruised vanity, he got the reward he sought. Resting
his head on the back of the settee he fondled her full breasts as she skillfully worked to arouse him. He wondered if he could make Dorothy do the same and smiled. It could well be that he would spend one very warm winter this year.

R
emoving her shoes, Emily walked over to the mirror to unpin her hair. She was feeling decidedly tipsy after all the champagne she had had to drink at supper, but she was also feeling depressed. Try as she would, she could not dismiss Catrina’s words from her mind. They had cut too deeply to be completely discarded. She had salted every open wound.

When she heard the door open and shut she concentrated on her hair. She needed to compose herself before she faced Cloud. Listening to him moving around around behind her, obviously undressing, made that a little difficult. She started when he suddenly appeared in the mirror bare-chested
and frowning.

“It’s not Harper,” he growled, snatching the brush from her hand and starting to brush her hair.

“I beg your pardon?” she said weakly, not sure of how much he had guessed.

“You heard me. I said it’s not Harper that’s kept you quiet all through supper.”

“Perhaps I just don’t like talking with my mouth full.”

He put the brush down with a snap. “Emily, I know something’s eating at you. What is it?” Following her when she moved to the foot of the bed, held onto the post, and pressed her forehead against the cool wood, he scowled. “I don’t know why, but I think it was something Catrina said, though God knows you’ve been through that nonsense often enough to be used to it by now.”

“All the way here.” She sighed and did not see him grimace.

“So why should it be different this time?”

“The baby,” she murmured and was suddenly turned to face him.

“It bothers you to be carrying my child?”

She winced at the coldness in his voice but felt she understood its cause. “No, Cloud.”

“Then what?” He gave her a little shake. “I’m not a mind reader, you know.”

“It was what she said about you marrying me because of the child.”

“Emily, the only thing that baby had to do with our marriage was to make it a real quick one.”

“Really?” She looked up and felt her spirits rise at the truth in his eyes.

“Really. I told you I got to thinking of a wife and a family almost as soon as I decided to settle down. Not long after we met, I was thinking about how well you’d suit.”

He turned her around and began to skillfully undo her buttons. In no time at all her gown was off and tossed onto a chair. As his skilled fingers moved to her petticoats she could not help remembering how he had gained that skill.

“Well? Let’s have the rest of it,” he demanded when he heard her sigh.

“I know you promised to be faithful but …”

“But what?” He tossed her petticoats onto the chair with her gown.

“All those pretty women,” she faltered.

Picking her up, he took her to the bed and gently laid her down, following her and partly covering her body with his. “I tried my best not to bed an ugly one.”

“I’m trying to be serious.”

“I am serious. After three weeks without you in my bed, I’m dead serious.” He quickly dispensed with her camisole and moved to untie her pantaloons.

The way he was looking at her as he completed her undressing erased all thought from her mind. She shared his hunger. When he had hastily discarded the last of his clothes, she greedily welcomed him back into her arms.

The reunion of their bodies was fierce. There were few preliminaries, their need too strong to endure a wait of any duration. They clung to each other as their bodies found release from frustration, and for a long time after they had ceased to reel from the beauty of it.

“Honey, that’s why I’ll find it easy to be faithful.” He slowly eased the intimacy of their embrace, rolling onto his back with her still held in his arms.

“It’s not always the same?”

“Nope. Some just ease a tension, some are pretty good, and some are fun. This goes beyond words, and you don’t find that everywhere.”

“They all knew what to do.”

“I’ll teach you just like I have been. You know, that’s another reason I married you.”

“Because I was a virgin?” She felt him nod. “But you said men out here didn’t care.”

“Most of them don’t. Still, the hypocrisy’s there. Man spends a lot of time getting as much experience as he can fit in, but he doesn’t appreciate that in a woman. It wouldn’t have mattered if you’d been the widow and mother I first thought you but, hell, I’d be a liar if I said your innocence didn’t matter.

“It’s a good feeling to know that I’ve been the only one. You were mine—are mine—and nobody else’s. Everything you do either comes natural or I’ve taught you. There’s not
a man alive who wouldn’t like the feeling that gives him.

“I’ve had more than my share of women. I can’t change that. Hell, I began to feel downright guilty every time we met another one. Still, I never wanted to marry one of them, never once gave it a thought. It was freely offered and I took it, making no promises. Whatever else they thought or claimed was all in their heads. They gambled that they could change my mind.”

“That was the one part of what Catrina said that I ignored. What was she to Chilton?”

Cloud sighed, but he had been expecting the question. “His fiancée.”

“Oh, dear. So, he feels that twice you have taken what was his.”

“You were never his. As far as Catrina goes, she took a gamble. She tried to hang onto Chilton even while she played games with me. Discretion was not one or her skills and he caught us. When he broke the engagement, she wasn’t upset until she was made to see that, while I was willing to fill Chilton’s spot in her bed now and again, I wasn’t about to walk in his steps down the aisle.”

“Can he hurt you, Cloud?”

“Nope. That was all air, honey. There’s not a string attached to me that he can pull. I may not have much, but I own every bit of it, lock, stock and barrel.” He gently moved
his hand down to her stomach. “Think I can feel the baby yet?”

“I’m not sure. I can feel him. He feels like I swallowed a live fish sometimes.” She slowly moved her hand over his broad chest. “Will this be enough to keep you happy? A baby and a warm bed?”

“It’s more than that, Em. I like you and I trust you. I can’t think of a single woman I’ve known, outside of family, that I could say that about. On the trip here I was with you day and night far more than I was ever with any of the women you met and not once was I bored or aching to get the hell away from you. We get along, little one, and that’s damned important.”

“How could you—well, you know, if you didn’t like or trust them?”

“Man doesn’t need either to bed a woman, just a soft bed and an itch.”

She blushed, then groaned. Rolling away from him, she hid her face in the pillow. A moment later she lifted her head to stare wide-eyed at his grinning face.

“I am a puritan. Look at that, a perfectly reasonable statement …”

“Reasonable, hell. It was outrageous even for a husband to say to his wife.”

“Then why’d you say it?” she demanded a little crossly.

“To make you do just what you did. Look, Em, that little touch of puritan is what makes you Emily. A little modesty’s a good thing. You’ve got a good sense of what should
be private. It’s also that morality that helps me trust you. I know you won’t go bedding some other man.”

“That would be adultery,” she gasped, then scowled when he grinned. “Wretch.”

“Most likely.”

“I should make you pay for that.”

“Oh? Just how do you plan to do that?”

Lunging for his feet, she said, “Tickle you.”

Wolfe and James paused in their quiet advance toward their rooms. A few footsteps would never be heard over the laughter and squeals coming from Cloud’s room. James was fairly used to it, but Wolfe could not recall Cloud carrying on so since before the war.

“Sure sounds like they’re enjoing themselves,” Wolfe drawled as they stepped into James’s room.

“They usually do.” James poured them each a brandy, then lounged on his bed.

“You traveled with them. Think he loves her?”

“Well, if he don’t, he cares as much for her as he’ll ever care for any woman. Truth is, I feel deep down that he does. He just doesn’t see it clear yet. Or doesn’t want to.”

“That could be. Cloud got his cynicism at an early age. Too many unfaithful wives maybe.”

“Could be. I’ve known him five years, but when I set out with him, Emily, and the boy, I felt like I was getting to know him all over again. She’ll be good for him, keep him from
getting too hard, too cynical.”

“Hope so. Well, whatever else, Cloud’s a firm believer in marriage and family. He’ll be working hard to make it good.” Wolfe raised his glass. “Here’s to his success at it.”

When Cloud woke up, he lay watching Emily sleep. Now that he had taken that irrevocable step and had a family well started, he intended to build a union as sound as the one his parents had had. He found he wanted that same sense of permanence and comfort afforded by a partner who shared good and bad equally.

He gently placed his hand on her belly, then moved it over her thickening waist. He felt the slight quickening that told him their forming child was alive. It gave him a feeling he would have been hard put to describe. One thing he was sure of was that he already wished the waiting over.