Complete Works of Rudyard Kipling (Illustrated) (999 page)

The Young Queen

Zion

The Absent-Minded Beggar

When you’ve shouted “Rule Britannia,” when you’ve sung “God save the Queen,”
   When you’ve finished killing Kruger with your mouth,
Will you kindly drop a shilling in my little tambourine
   For a gentleman in khaki going South?
He’s an absent-minded beggar, and his weaknesses are great –
   But we and Paul must take him as we find him –
He is out on active service, wiping something of a slate –
   And he’s left a lot of little things behind him!
Duke’s son – cook’s son – son of a hundred kings –
   (Fifty thousand horse and foot going to Table Bay!)
Each of ‘em doing his country’s work
   (and who’s to look after his things?)
Pass the hat for your credit’s sake,
     and pay – pay – pay!

There are girls he married secret, asking no permission to,
   For he knew he wouldn’t get it if he did.
There is gas and coals and vittles, and the house-rent falling due,
   And it’s more than rather likely there’s a kid.
There are girls he walked with casual. They’ll be sorry now he’s gone,
   For and absent-minded beggar they will find him,
But it ain’t the time for sermons with the winter coming on.
   We must help the girl that Tommy’s left behind him!
Cook’s son – Duke’s son – son of a belted Earl –
   Son of Lambeth publican – it’s all the same today!
Each of them doing the country’s work
   (and who’s to look after the girl?)
Pass the hat for your credit’s sake,
     and pay – pay – pay!

They are families by thousands, far too proud to beg or speak,
   And they’ll put their sticks and bedding up the spout,
And they’ll live on half o’ nothing, paid ‘em punctual once a week,
   ‘Cause the man that earns the wage is ordered out.
He’s an absent-minded beggar, but he heard his country call,
   And his reg’ment didn’t need to send to find him!
He chucked his job and joint it – so the job before us all
   Is to help the home that Tommy’s left behind him!
Duke’s job – cook’s job – gardener, baronet, groom,
   Mew’s or palace or paper-shop, there’s someone gone away!
Each of ‘em doing his country’s work
   (and who’s to look after the room?)
Pass the hat and for your credit’s sake,
      and pay – pay – pay!

Let us manage so as later, we can look him in the face,
   And tell him – what he’d very much prefer –
That, while he saved the Empire, his employer saved his place,
   And his mates (that’s you and me) looked out for
her.
He’s and absent-minded beggar and he may forget it all,
   But we do not want his kiddies to remind him
That we sent ‘em to the workhouse while their daddy hammered Paul,
   So we’ll help the homes that Tommy left behind him!
Cook’s home  - Duke’s home – home of millionaire,
   (Fifty thousand horse and foot going to Table Bay!)
Each of ‘em doing his country’s work
   (and what have you got to spare?)
Pass the hat for your credit’s sake
     and pay – pay – pay!

The Advertisement

In the Manner of the Earlier English
 — The Muse Among the Motors (1900-1930)

Whether to wend through straight streets strictly,
Trimly by towns perfectly paved;
Or after office, as fitteth thy fancy,
Faring with friends far among fields;
There is none other equal in action,
Sith she  is silent,  nimble,  unnoisome,
Lordly of leather, gaudily gilded,
Burgeoning brightly in a brass bonnet,
Certain to steer well between wains.

Akbar’s Bridge

“The Debt”
JELALUDIN MUHAMMED AKBAR, Guardian of Mankind,
Moved his standards out of Delhi to Jaunpore of lower Hind,
Where a mosque was to be builded, and a lovelier ne’er was planned;
And Munim Khan, his Viceroy, slid the drawings ‘neath his hand.

(High as Hope upsheered her out-works to the promised Heavens above.
Deep as Faith and dark as Judgment her unplumbed foundations dove.
Wide as Mercy, white as moonlight, stretched her forecourts to
         the dawn;
And Akbar gave commandment, “Let it rise as it is drawn.”)

Then he wearied-the mood moving-of the men and things he ruled,
And he walked beside the Goomti while the flaming sunset cooled,
Simply, without mark or ensign-singly, without guard and guide,
Till he heard an angry woman screeching by the river-side.

‘Twas the Widow of the Potter, a virago feared and known
In haste to cross the ferry, but the ferry-man had gone.
So she cursed him and his office, and hearing Akbar’s tread,
(She was very old and darkling) turned her wrath upon his head. 

But he answered-being Akbar-”Suffer me to scull you o’er.”
Called her “Mother,” stowed her bundles, worked the clumsy
         scow from shore,
Till they grounded on a sand-bank, and the Widow loosed her mind;
And the stars stole out and chuckled at the Guardian of Mankind

“Oh, most impotent of bunglers! Oh, my daughter’s daughter’s brood
Waiting hungry on the threshold; for I cannot bring their food,
Till a fool has learned his business at their virtuous grandma’s cost,
And a greater fool, our Viceroy, trifles while her name is lost!

“Munim Khan, that Sire of Asses, sees me daily come and go
As it suits a drunken boatman, or this ox who cannot row.
Munim Khan, the Owl’s Own Uncle-Munim Khan, the Capon’s seed,
Must build a mosque to Allah when a bridge is all we need!

“Eighty years I eat oppression and extortion and delays-
Snake and crocodile and fever, flood and drouth, beset my ways.
But Munim Khan must tax us for his mosque whate’er befall;
Allah knowing (May He hear me!) that a bridge would save us all! “

While she stormed that other laboured and, when they touched
  the shore,
Laughing brought her on his shoulder to her hovel’s very door.
But his mirth renewed her anger, for she thought he mocked the weak;
So she scored him with her talons, drawing blood on either cheek....

Jelaludin Muhammed Akbar, Guardian of Mankind,
Spoke with Munim Khan his Viceroy, ere the midnight stars declined-
Girt and sworded, robed and jewelled, but on either cheek appeared
Four shameless scratches running from the turban to the beard.

“Allah burn all Potters’ Widows! Yet, since this same night was young,
One has shown me by sure token, there was wisdom on her  tongue.
Yes, I ferried her for hire. “Yes,” he pointed, “I was paid.”
And he told the tale rehearsing all the Widow did and said.

And he ended, “Sire of Asses-Capon-Owl’s Own Uncle-know
I-most impotent of bunglers-1-this ox who cannot row-
I-Jelaludin Muhammed Akbar, Guardian of Mankind-
Bid thee build the hag her bridge and put our mosque from out
         thy mind.”

So ‘twas built, and Allah blessed it; and, through earthquake,
         flood, and sword,
Still the bridge his Viceroy builded throws her arch o’er Akhar’s
         Ford!

An Almanac Of Twelve Sports

By William Nicholson with poetry by Rudyard Kipling 1898

January.

February.

March.

April.