Complete Works of Rudyard Kipling (Illustrated) (194 page)

“Let’s see. You were on Losson’s, Lancey’s, Dugard’s, and
Stebbins’s, that I can remember,” I said.

“Ay, an’ before that an’ before that - scores av thim,” he answered with a worn smile. “Tis betther to die than to live for thim, though. Whin Raines comes out - he’ll be changin’ his kit at the jail now - he’ll think that too. He shud ha’ shot himself an’ the woman by rights, an’ made a clean bill av all. Now he’s left the woman - she tuk tay wid Dinah Sunday gone last - an’ he’s left himself. Mackie’s the lucky man.” - “He’s probably getting it hot where he is,” I ventured, for I knew something of the dead Corporal’s record.

“Be sure av that,” said Terence, spitting over the edge of the verandah. “But fwhat he’ll get there is light marchin’-ordher to fwhat he’d ha’ got here if he’d lived.”

“Surely not. He’d have gone on and forgotten like the others.”

“Did ye know Mackie well, Sorr?” said Terence.

“He was on the Pattiala guard of honour last winter, and I went out shooting with him in an ekka for the day, and I found him rather an amusing man.”

“Well, he’ll ha’ got shut av amusemints, excipt turnin’ from wan side to the other, these few years come. I knew Mackie, an’ I’ve seen too many to be mistuk in the muster av wan man. He might ha’ gone on an’ forgot, as you say, Sorr, but was a man wid an educashin, an’ he used ut for his schames, an’ the same educashin, an’ talk an’ all that made him able to do fwhat he had a mind to wid a woman, that same wud turn back again in the long run an’ tear him alive. I can’t say fwhat that I mane to say bekaze I don’t know how, but Mackie was the spit an’ livin’ image av a man that I saw march the same march all but; an’ ‘twas worse for him that he did not come by Mackie’s ind. Wait while I remimber now. ‘Twas fwhin I was in the Black Tyrone, an’ he was drafted us from Portsmouth; an’ fwhat was his misbegotten name? Larry - Larry Tighe ut was; an’ wan of the draft said he was a gentleman ranker, an’ Larry tuk an’ three parts killed him for saying so. An’ he was a big man, an’ a strong man, an’ a handsome man, an’ that tells heavy in practice wid some women, but, takin’ thim by an’ large, not wid all. Yet ‘twas wid all that Larry dealt - all - for he ‘ud put the comether on any woman that trod the green earth av God, an’ he knew ut. Like Mackie that’s roastin’ now, he knew ut; an’ niver did he put the comether on any woman save an’ excipt for the black shame. ‘Tis not me that shud be talkin’, dear knows, dear knows, but the most av my mis - misalli’nces was for pure devilry, an’ mighty sorry I have been whin harm came; an’ time an’ again wid a girl, ay, an’ a woman too, for the matter av that, whin I have seen by the eyes av her that I was makin’ more throuble than I talked, I have hild off an’ let be for the sake av the mother that bore me. But Larry, I’m thinkin’, he was suckled by a she- devil, for he niver let wan go that came nigh to listen to him. ‘Twas his business, as if it might ha’ bin sinthry-go. He was a good soldier too. Now there was the Colonel’s governess - an’ he a privit too! - that was never known in barricks; an’ wan av the Major’s maids, and she was promised to a man; an’ some more outside; an’ fwhat ut was amongst us we’ll never know till Judgment Day! ‘Twas the nature av the baste to put the comether on the best av thim - not the prettiest by any manner av manes - but the like av such woman as you cud lay your band on the Book an’ swear there was niver thought av foolishness in. An’ for that very reason, mark you, he was niver caught. He came close to ut wanst or twice, but caught he niver was, an’ that cost him more at the ind than the beginnin’. He talked to me more than most, bekaze he tould me, barrin’ the accident av my educashin, I’d ha’ been the same kind av divil he was. ‘An’ is ut like,’ he wud say, houldin’ his head high - ‘is ut like that I’d iver be thrapped? For fwhat am I when all’s said an’ done?’ he sez. ‘A damned privit,’ sez he. ‘An’ is ut like, think you, that thim I know wud be connect wid a privit like me? Number tin thousand four hundred an’ sivin,’ he sez, grinnin’. I knew by the turn av his spache whin he was not takin’ care to talk rough that he was a gentleman ranker.

I do not undherstan’ ut at all,’ I sez; ‘but I know,’ sez I, ‘that the divil looks out av your eyes, an’ I’ll have no share wid you. A little fun by way av amusemint where ‘t will do no harm, Larry, is right and fair, but I am mistook if ‘tis any amusemint to you,’ I sez.

“‘You are much mistook,’ he sez. ‘An’ I counsel you not to judge your betters.’

“‘My betthers!’ I sez. ‘God help you, Larry. There’s no betther in this. ‘Tis all bad, as you will find for yoursilf.’

“You’re not like me,’ he says, tossin’ his head.

“‘Praise the Saints, I am not,’ I sez. ‘Fwhat I have done I have done an’ been crool sorry for. Fwhin your time comes,’ sez I, ‘ye’ll remimber fwhat I say.’

“‘An’ whin that time comes,’ sez he, ‘I’ll come to you for ghostly consolation, Father Terence,’ an’ at that he wint off afther some more divil’s business - for to get expayrience, he tould me. He was wicked - rank wicked - wicked as all Hell! I’m not construct by nature to go in fear av any man, but, begad, I was afraid av Larry. He’d come in to barricks wid his cap on three hairs, an’ lie on his cot and stare at the ceilin’, and now an’ again he’d fetch a little laugh, the like av a splash in the bottom av a well, an’ by that I knew he was schamin’ new wickedness, an’ I’d be afraid. All this was long an’ long ago, but ut hild me straight - for a while.

“I tould you, did I not, Sorr, that I was caressed an’ pershuaded to lave the Tyrone on account av a throuble?”

“Something to do with a belt and a man’s head, wasn’t it?” Terence had never given me the exact facts.

“It was. Faith, ivry time I go on prisoner’s gyard in coort I wondher fwhy I am not where the pris’ner is. But the man I struk tuk it in fair fight, an’ he had the good sinse not to die. Considher now, fwhat wud ha’ come to the Arrmy if he had! I was enthreated to exchange, an’ my Commandin’ Orf’cer pled wid me. I wint, not to be disobligin’, an’ Larry tould me he was powerful sorry to lose me, though fwhat I’d done to make him sorry I do not know. So to the Ould Rig’mint I came, lavin’ Larry to go to the divil his own way, an’ niver expectin’ to see him again except as a shootin’-case in barricks. . . . Who’s that lavin’ the compound?” Terence’s quick eye had caught sight of a white uniform skulking behind hedge.

“The Sergeant’s gone visiting,” said a voice.

“Thin I command here, an’ I will have no sneakin’ away to the bazar, an’ huntin’ for you wid a pathrol at midnight. Nalson, for I know ut’s you, come back to the verandah.”

Nalson, detected, slunk back to his fellows. There was a grumble that died away in a minute or two, and Terence, turning on the other side, went on:-

“That was the last I saw av Larry for a while. Exchange is the same as death for not thinkin’, an’ by token I married Dinah, an’ that kept me from remimberin’ ould times. Thin we wint up to the Front, an’ ut tore my heart in tu to lave Dinah at the Depot in Pindi. Consequint whin was at the Front I fought circumspectuous till I warrmed up, an thin I fought double tides. You remimber fwhat I tould you in the gyard-gate av the fight at Silver’s Theatre.”

“Wot’s that about Silver’s Theayter!” said Ortheris quickly, over his shoulder.

“Nothin’, little man. A tale that ye know. As I was sayin’, afther that fight us av the Ould Rig’mint an’ the Tyrone was all mixed together takin’ shtock ay the dead, an’ av coorse I wint about to find if there was any man that remimbered me. The second man I came acrost - an’ how I’d missed him in the fight I do not know - was Larry, an’ a fine man he looked, but oulder, by token that he had a call to be. ‘Larry,’ sez I, ‘how is ut wid you?’

“‘Ye’re callin’ the wrong man,’ he sez, wid his gentleman’s smile; ‘Larry has been dead these three years. They call him “Love-o’- Women” now,’ he sez. By that I knew the ould divil was in him yet, but the ind av a fight is no time for the beginnin’ av confession, so we sat down an’ talked av times.

“‘They tell me you’re a married man,’ he sez, puffing slow at his poipe. ‘Are ye happy?’

“‘I will be whin I get back to Depot,’ I sez. ‘‘Tis a reconnaissance honeymoon now.’

“‘I’m married too,’ he sez, puffin’ slow an’ more slow, an’ stopperin’ wid his forefinger.

“‘Sind you happiness,’ I sez. ‘That’s the best hearin’ for a long time.’

“‘Are ye av that opinion?’ he sez; an’ thin he began talkin’ av the campaign. The sweat av Silver’s Theatre was not dhry upon him, an’ he was prayin’ for more work. I was well contint to lie and listen to the cook-pot lids.

“Whin he got up off the ground he shtaggered a little, an’ laned over all twisted.

“‘Ye’ve got more than ye bargained for,’ I sez. ‘Take an inventory, Larry. ‘Tis like you’re hurt.’

“He turned round stiff as a ramrod an’ damned the eyes av me up an’ down for an impartinent Irish-faced ape. If that had been in barricks, I’d ha’ stretched him an’ no more said; but ‘twas at the Front, an’ afther such a fight as Silver’s Theatre I knew there was no callin’ a man to account for his timpers. He might as well ha’ kissed me. Aftherwards I was well pleased I kept my fistes home. Then our Captain Crook - Cruik-na-bul-leen - came up. He’d been talkin’ to the little orf’cer bhoy av the Tyrone. ‘We’re all cut to windystraws,’ he sez, ‘but the Tyrone are damned short for noncoms. Go you over there, Mulvaney, an’ be Deputy-Sergeant, Corp’ral, Lance, an’ everything else ye can lay hands on till I bid you stop.’

“‘I wint over an’ tuk hould. There was wan sergeant left standin’, an’ they’d pay no heed to him. The remnint was me, an’ ‘twas high time I came. Some I talked to, an’ some I did not, but before night the bhoys av the Tyrone stud to attention, begad, if I sucked on my poipe above a whishper. Betune you an’ me an’ Bobs, I was commandin’ the company, an’ that was what Cruik had thransferred me for, an’ the little orf’cer bhoy knew ut, and I knew ut, but the comp’ny did not. And there, mark you, is the vartue that no money an’ no dhrill can buy - the vartue av the ould soldier that knows his orf’cer’s work an’ does ut - at the salute!

“Thin the Tyrone, wid the Ould Rig’mint in touch, was sint maraudin’ and prowlin’ acrost the hills promishcuous an’ unsatisfactory. ‘Tis my privit opinion that a gin’ral does not know half his time fwhat to do wid three-quarthers his command. So he shquats on his hunkers an’ bids thim run round an’ round forninst him while he considhers on ut. Whin by the process av nature they get sejuced into a big fight that was none av their seekin’, he sez: ‘Obsarve my shuparior janius! I meant ut to come so.’ We ran round an’ about, an’ all we got was shootin’ into the camp at night, an’ rushin’ empty sungars wid the long bradawl, an’ bein’ hit from behind rocks till we was wore out - all except Love-o’-Women. That puppy-dog business was mate an’ dhrink to him. Begad, he cud niver get enough av ut. Me well knowin’ that it is just this desultorial campaignin’ that kills the best men, an’ suspicionin’ that if I was cut the little orf’cer bhoy wud expind all his men in thryin’ to get out, I wud lie most powerful doggo whin I heard a shot, an’ curl my long legs behind a bowlder, an’ run like blazes whin the ground was clear. Faith, if I led the Tyrone in rethreat wanst I led them forty times. Love-o’-Women wud stay pottin’ an’ pottin’ from behind a rock, and wait till the fire was heaviest, an’ thin stand up an’ fire man-height clear. He wud lie out in camp too at night snipin’ at the shadows, for he niver tuk a mouthful av slape. My commandin’ orf’cer - save his little soul! - cud not see the beauty av of my strategims, an’ whin the Ould Rig’mint crossed us, an’ that was wanst a week, he’d throt off to Cruik, wid his big blue eyes as round as saucers, an’ lay an information against me. I heard thim wanst talkin’ through the tent-wall, an’ I nearly laughed.

“‘He runs - runs like a hare,’ sez the little orf’cer bhoy. “Tis demoralisin’ my men.’

“‘Ye damned little fool,’ sez Cruik, laughin’. ‘He’s larnin’ you your business. Have ye been rushed at night yet?’

“‘No,’ sez the child, wishful that he had been.

“‘Have you any wounded?’ sez Cruik.

“‘No,’ he sez. ‘There was no chanst for that. They follow Mulvaney too quick,’ he sez.

“‘Fwhat more do you want, thin?’ sez Cruik. ‘Terence is bloodin’ you neat an’ handy,’ he sez. ‘He knows fwhat you do not, an’ that’s that there’s a time for ivrything. He’ll not lead you wrong,’ he sez, ‘but I’d give a month’s pay to larn fwhat he thinks av you.’

“That kept the babe quiet, but Love-o’-Women was pokin’ at me for ivrything I did, an’ specially my manoeuvres.

“‘Mr. Mulvaney,’ he sez wan evenin’, very contempshus, ‘you’re growin’ very jeldy wid your feet. Among gentlemen,’ he sez, ‘among gentlemen that’s called no pretty name.’

“‘Among privits ‘tis different,’ I sez. ‘Get back to your tent.
I’m sergeant here,’ I sez.

“There was just enough in the voice av me to tell him he was playin’ wid his life betune his teeth. He wint off, an’ I noticed that this man that was contempshus set off from the halt wid a shunt as tho’ he was bein’ kicked behind. That same night there was a Paythan picnic in the hills about, an’ firin’ into our tents fit to wake the livin’ dead. ‘Lie down all,’ I sez. ‘Lie down an’ kape still. They’ll no more than waste ammunition.’

“I heard a man’s feet on the ground, an’ thin a ‘Tini joinin’ in the chorus. I’d been lyin’ warm, thinkin’ av Dinah an’ all, but I crup out wid the bugle for to look round in case there was a rush, an’ the ‘Tini was flashin’ at the fore-ind av the camp, an’ the hill near by was fair flickerin’ wid long-range fire. Undher the starlight I beheld Love-o’-Women settin’ on a rock wid his belt and helmet off. He shouted wanst or twice, an’ thin I heard him say: ‘They should ha’ got the range long ago. Maybe they’ll fire at the flash.’ Thin he fired again, an’ that dhrew a fresh volley, and the long slugs that they chew in their teeth came floppin’ among the rocks like tree-toads av a hot night. ‘That’s better,’ sez Love-o’-Women. ‘Oh Lord, how long, how long!’ he sez, an’ at that he lit a match an’ held ut above his head.

“‘Mad,’ thinks I, ‘mad as a coot,’ an’ I tuk wan stip forward, an’ the nixt I knew was the sole av my boot flappin’ like a cavalry gydon an’ the - funny-bone av my toes tinglin’. ‘Twas a clane-cut shot - a slug - that niver touched sock or hide, but set me bare-fut on the rocks. At that I tuk Love-o’- Women by the scruff an’ threw him under a bowlder, an’ whin I sat down I heard the bullets patterin’ on that good stone.