Complete Poems and Plays (102 page)

Of what I said. You must make your own life

Of course, just as I must make mine.

It’s not a question of your going abroad

But a question of the spirit which inspired your decision:

If you wish to renounce your father and your family

What is left between you and me?

M
ICHAEL.
                                          That makes no difference.

You’ll be seeing me again.

M
ONICA
.
                                 But who will you be

When I see you again? Whoever you are then

I shall always pretend that it is the same Michael.

C
HARLES
.
And when do you leave England?

M
ICHAEL
.
                                                            When we can get a passage.

And I must buy my kit. We’re just going up to London.

Señor Gomez will attend to my needs for that climate.

And you see, he has friends in the shipping line

Who he thinks can be helpful in getting reservations.

M
RS
. C
ARGHILL
.
It’s wonderful, Señor Gomez, how you manage
everything
!

— No sooner had I put my proposal before him

Than he had it all planned out! It really was an inspiration —

On my part, I mean. Are you listening to me, Richard?

You look very
distrait.
You ought to be excited!

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
Is this good-bye then, Michael?

M
ICHAEL
.
                                                              Well, that just depends.

I could look in again. If there’s any point in it.

Personally, I think that when one’s come to a decision,

It’s as well to say good-bye at once and be done with it.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
Yes, if you’re going, and I see no way to stop you,

Then I agree with you, the sooner the better.

We may never meet again, Michael.

M
ICHAEL
.
                                                  I don’t see why not.

G
OMEZ
.
At the end of five years he will get his first leave.

M
ICHAEL
.
Well… there’s nothing more to say, is there?

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
                                                          Nothing at all.

M
ICHAEL
.
Then we might as well be going.

G
OMEZ
.
Yes, we might as well be going.

You’ll be grateful to me in the end, Dick.

M
RS.
C
ARGHILL
.
A parent isn’t always the right person, Richard,

To solve a son’s problems. Sometimes an outsider,

A friend of the family, can see more clearly.

G
OMEZ
.
Not that I deserve any credit for it.

We can only regard it as a stroke of good fortune

That I came to England at the very moment

When I could be helpful.

M
RS.
C
ARGHILL
.
It’s truly providential!

M
ONICA.
Good-bye Michael. Will you let me write to you?

G
OMEZ
.
Oh, I’m glad you reminded me. Here’s my business card

With the full address. You can always reach him there.

But it takes some days, you know, even by air mail.

M
ONICA
.
Take the card, Charles. If I write to you, Michael,

Will you ever answer?

M
ICHAEL
.
                           Oh of course, Monica.

You know I’m not much of a correspondent;

But I’ll send you a card, now and again,

Just to let you know I’m flourishing.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
                                    Yes, write to Monica.

G
OMEZ
.
Well, good-bye Dick. And good-bye Monica.

Good-bye, Mr…. Hemington.

M
ONICA
.
                                       Good-bye Michael.

[
Exeunt
M
ICHAEL
and
G
OMEZ
]

M
RS.
C
ARGHILL
.
I’m afraid this seems awfully sudden to you, Richard;

It isn’t so sudden. We talked it all over.

But I’ve got a little piece of news of my own:

Next autumn, I’m going out to Australia,

On my doctor’s advice. And on my way back

Señor Gomez has invited me to visit San Marco.

I’m so excited! But what pleases me most

Is that I shall be able to bring you news of Michael.

And now that we’ve found each other again,

We must always keep in touch. But you’d better rest now.

You’re looking rather tired. I’ll run and see them off.

[
Exit
M
RS.
C
ARGHILL
]

M
ONICA
.
Oh Father, Father, I’m so sorry!

But perhaps, perhaps, Michael may learn his lesson.

I believe he’ll come back. If it’s all a failure

Homesickness, I’m sure, will bring him back to us;

If he prospers, that will give him confidence —

It’s only self-confidence that Michael is lacking.

Oh Father, it’s not you and me he rejects,

But himself, the unhappy self that he’s ashamed of.

I’m sure he loves us.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
            Monica my dear,

What you say comes home to me. I fear for Michael;

Nevertheless, you are right to hope for something better.

And when he comes back, if he does come back,

I know that you and Charles will do what you can

To make him feel that he is not estranged from you.

C
HARLES
.
We will indeed. We shall be ready to welcome him

And give all the aid we can. But it’s both of you together

Make the force to attract him: you and Monica combined.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
I shall not be here. You heard me say to him

That this might be a final good-bye.

I am sure of it now. Perhaps it is as well.

M
ONICA
.
What do you mean, Father? You’ll be here to greet him.

But one thing I’m convinced of: you must leave Badgley Court.

C
HARLES
.
Monica is right. You should leave.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
This may surprise you: I feel at peace now.

It is the peace that ensues upon contrition

When contrition ensues upon knowledge of the truth.

Why did I always want to dominate my children?

Why did I mark out a narrow path for Michael?

Because I wanted to perpetuate myself in him.

Why did I want to keep you to myself, Monica?

Because I wanted you to give your life to adoring

The man that I pretended to myself that I was,

So that I could believe in my own pretences.

I’ve only just now had the illumination

Of knowing what love is. We all think we know,

But how few of us do! And now I feel happy —

In spite of everything, in defiance of reason,

I have been brushed by the wing of happiness.

And I am happy, Monica, that you have found a man

Whom you can love for the man he really is.

M
ONICA
.
Oh Father, I’ve always loved you,

But I love you more since I have come to know you

Here, at Badgley Court. And I love you the more

Because I love Charles.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
               Yes, my dear.

Your love is for the real Charles, not a make-believe,

As was your love for me.

M
ONICA
.
                               But not now, Father!

It’s the real you I love — the man you are,

Not the man I thought you were.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
                            And Michael —

I love him, even for rejecting me,

For the
me
he rejected, I reject also.

I’ve been freed from the self that pretends to be someone;

And in becoming no one, I begin to live.

It is worth while dying, to find out what life is.

And I love you, my daughter, the more truly for knowing

That there is someone you love more than your father —

That you love and are loved. And now that I love Michael,

I think, for the first time — remember, my dear,

I am only a beginner in the practice of loving —

Well, that is something.

I shall leave you for a while.

This is your first visit to us at Badgley Court,

Charles, and not at all what you were expecting.

I am sorry you have had to see so much of persons

And situations not very agreeable.

You two ought to have a little time together.

I leave Monica to you. Look after her, Charles,

Now and always. I shall take a stroll.

M
ONICA
.
At this time of day? You’ll not go far, will you?

You know you’re not allowed to stop out late

At this season. It’s chilly at dusk.

L
ORD
C
LAVERTON
.
Yes, it’s chilly at dusk. But I’ll be warm enough.

I shall not go far.

[
Exit
C
LAVERTON
]

C
HARLES
.
He’s a very different man from the man he used to be.