Commitment (5 page)

“They’re vanilla,” Alex chimed in, widening her toothy smile.

“Umm.”

“You love vanilla,” Alex observed.

“Yes, I do,” Cassidy admitted. “Are you trying to tell me you want dessert before dinner,” Cassidy flirted.

“I like dessert,” Alex offered.

“Yes, I know that too.” Cassidy’s next thought was immediately interrupted by a passionate kiss. “What was that for?” she asked as Alex pulled back slowly.

“I’m just glad you are here. Where’s Dylan?”

Cassidy patted Alex’s cheek. “I wondered how long that would take.” She watched Alex’s eyes widen hopefully. “Your mom took him upstairs about an hour ago. Go on,” she encouraged. “He’ll be thrilled to see you.”

“I don’t want to wake him,” Alex said a bit sadly.

“Honey….”

Alex sighed. “I hate this, Cass.”

“I know. Do you want to eat something?”

“I’m not hungry,” Alex replied.

Cassidy stroked the agent’s cheek tenderly. “Okay, let me put these in the kitchen. Go up. I’ll be right there.” Alex kissed Cassidy on the forehead and followed her direction. She reached the top of the stairs and stopped. She didn’t want to wake Dylan, but she couldn’t resist looking in on him. She opened the door to the bedroom and peered inside. Dylan had the blankets tucked tightly around him. Alex laughed. “Some things never change,” she said, recalling how her mother always tucked her in protectively. She tip-toed to the bedside and kissed Dylan carefully. Cassidy reached the door and just watched. “Sorry, Speed,” Alex whispered. “I promise. I promise, pretty soon I won’t be away so much. I love you, Dylan.”

Cassidy swallowed hard. She could hear the tension and the heartache in Alex’s voice. “Alex…” Alex ran her hand gently over the sleeping boy’s head and looked at the ceiling as if to implore an answer to an unspoken question. Cassidy closed her eyes and let out a sigh before she continued. “Come on. He’ll be bouncing into our bed in the morning.” Alex nodded and followed her wife across the hall. She shut the door behind her and immediately collapsed onto the bed. Cassidy stood at the end of the bed and began removing Alex’s shoes. “Alex, I’m worried about you.”

“I’m okay, Cass. Really. It’s you I’m worried about.”

“Me?” Cassidy asked in confusion.

“Yeah, you,” Alex answered.

“Why?”

“What do you mean; why?” Alex asked. “All this chaos with O’Brien, and then…well, you know…the whole thing with the baby…and…”

“Alex,” Cassidy said gently as she climbed onto the bed. “I am all right, honestly.”

Alex let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Jesus. I wasn’t even with you the second time… I mean…”

Cassidy bit her bottom lip gently. She sensed the conversation was about to move into a territory neither had honestly explored. “You couldn’t help that,” she said.

“Why doesn’t that make me feel any better? Cassidy, you are dealing with everything alone. Bad enough that I’m not there to handle that jackass O’Br….”

“Alex,” Cassidy called to her wife in a comforting whisper.

“No, seriously. I’m not even there when you go to…I mean when we’re trying to have a baby? God,” Alex said exasperatedly. Her voice dropped. “I felt so horrible…worse that I was relieved when you weren’t…”

Cassidy tilted her head in surprise. “You were relieved I wasn’t pregnant?”

Alex put her face in her hands. “I didn’t mean….no….but, well, yes…I mean...I know I’m not…but I’d still like to be there
when…you know.” Cassidy’s smile grew as her eyebrow raised in amusement. Alex looked at her wife curiously. “What?” Alex asked. “I’m rambling.”

Cassidy kissed the agent’s cheek. “I thought you were disappointed. I was worried that I, well…that you…”

“Never, Cass.”

“Hmm. Quite the pair, aren’t we?” Cassidy mused.

“Sometimes, I guess we are.”

“Alex, I want you there. Of course, I do. I swear, I am all right. It takes time sometimes. I just, well if it doesn’t…”

“It will happen when it’s meant to,” Alex said with a reassuring smile. Cassidy grinned. “What?” Alex asked.

“Nothing.”

“Cassidy? Come on; what?” Alex urged.

“You’re going to be mad.”

“At you?” Alex asked. “I doubt that.”

Cassidy let out a heavy sigh. “That’s what your mother said when I talked to her earlier.”

“You told my mom about us trying to have a baby?” Alex asked. Cassidy nodded sadly. “You told
my
mom and not
your
mom?” Cassidy looked at Alex sheepishly. Alex laughed.

“You’re not mad?” Cassidy asked.

“Mad? No.”

“But, Alex…we agreed. I know you wanted this to be a….”

“Cass, you needed someone to talk to. I surely didn’t make myself the best candidate for that; did I?

“Alex….”

“No. It’s true. I haven’t been there like I should.”

Cassidy kissed the agent gently. “You are always there for me. Even if you are in another state or another country. I know that.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No, it’s not,” Cassidy admitted.

“Cass, things at work…there are some things…I just…”

“Alex, I know. Not specifically, but I know you. There is something I want to ask you.”

“What is it?” Alex asked.

“Would you….if this month….if it’s not…What would you think if we waited to try again until after the holidays?” Cassidy suggested in a whisper.

“You want to stop trying?” Alex asked for clarification.

“No,” Cassidy said emphatically. “I just…I think if we start again after the holidays and the custody is settled….It’s just with you away so much and…”

Alex kissed her wife. “I think that’s a perfect idea.” Tears had begun to stream down Cassidy’s cheek, and Alex felt her heart sway in her chest. “Why are you crying?”

“I don’t want to disappoint you, Alex. I want this baby as much as…”

“I know that,” Alex said as she wiped away her wife’s tears. “You could never disappoint me, Cassidy Toles. Not ever. Stop worrying now, okay?” Cassidy shook her head as her tears continued to gain speed. “Cass? What is this about?”

“What if I can’t, Alex?”

“What if you can’t get pregnant?” Alex asked. Cassidy nodded. Alex sighed and pulled Cassidy to her. “Then I guess we look at other options…if you still want to have a few more.”

Cassidy laughed through a sob. “A few more? Alex, we might have to consider other options if what you are looking for here is a football team.”

“What do you have against football?” Alex joked. She felt Cassidy’s laughter mix with her tears and kissed the top of her head. “As long as I have you and Dylan, I will be happy.”

“I love you so much,” Cassidy said through a few remaining tears.

“Well, that’s a good thing since you are married to me,” Alex said lightly. “
Je t’aime plus que tout
(I love you more than anything). It will all work out; you’ll see. We’ll be in the Super Bowl before you know it.” Cassidy laughed and closed her eyes. She didn’t care if they fell asleep exactly as they were. She was
home. Home was wherever she could be with Alex and Dylan, and it was the one place she never intended to leave.

“Edmond.”

“Jonathan, how are things in the states?” Edmond Callier inquired.

“Tense,” Krause replied.

“And the family?”

Krause took a deep breath. “They are not my family, Edmond. They are Alex’s.”

“Mm. And, Alex?” Callier continued.

“She’s all right. Wondering why her father would suddenly stop the flow of funds to ASA,” Krause replied.

“Interesting. What do you mean he stopped the flow?”

“It seems he stopped funneling the usual amounts to ASA shortly before his death,” Krause explained.

“Anywhere else that she has noted that action?” Callier asked cautiously.

“Not that she mentioned, no.”

Edmond Callier rubbed his chin and released a heavy sigh as he headed to the bar at the far side of his office. Slowly, he opened the bottle of scotch that sat atop it and poured himself a glass. “Nicolaus Toles was an enigma, Jonathan. The Broker…. well, he had access to the inner workings of everything in The Collaborative; as it once stood. If we were the ship, he was the engine room.”

Krause considered the statement carefully. “Edmond?”

“Yes?”

“You still haven’t told me much about Mr. Toles.”

“What makes you so curious?” Callier asked. Krause did not immediately reply. Edmond Callier let out the hint of a nervous laugh. “You’re worried.”

“Of course I am worried. We are on very shaky ground…”

Callier interrupted. “No. You are worried about your family. Why is that so hard for you to admit, Jonathan?”

“I told you. They are not
my
family.”

Callier laughed. “Families can be complicated.” He took another long sip of his scotch and savored it for a moment. “Come to Paris.”

“Why?” Krause asked abruptly.

“You have questions that you want answers to. I may not have the answers you seek. And, the answers I have may not be what you want to hear,” Callier explained.

“I don’t have expectations,” Krause replied.

“Good. Then I will see you soon.”

The door to the warehouse rolled up slowly and then swiftly closed. Claire Brackett walked deliberately through the spacious room that was filled with boxes and pallets toward the singular door that resided at its opposite end. She pressed a few numbers into a keypad and the door opened. She stepped through into the narrow corridor that led to yet another door and stopped abruptly, waiting as the camera scanned her presence. She pressed her thumb against another small pad and watched as the steel door opened automatically, granting her access to a world most people only see in movies. The walls were covered with large screens, each depicting real-time footage of various places around the globe. Long tables lined the room adorned with endless, smaller flat screens. Claire Brackett was always surprised by the veritable silence in a room that was filled with constant activity. It both intrigued and unsettled her. She preferred her life working in the field. This was a coward’s version of the spy game, safely tucked away, peering into people’s everyday lives; most of whom Claire Brackett regarded at insignificant and uninteresting. She shuddered slightly in disgust.

“Sparrow,” a man’s voice greeted her in the distance. “What brings you here?”

“We may have a problem,” she answered.

“We always have problems,” he laughed.

Claire Brackett did not share in his humor. She was uncertain how much validity to place in the information her father had given her. One thing she did know; it was unwise to dismiss anything Admiral William Brackett said as unimportant. “I am glad you are amused. My father seems to think that certain assets we secured are…well…”

The man before her reared his head in laughter. “He is a clever old coot.”

Claire Brackett regarded the man before her cautiously. “Are you telling me that my father is setting me up again?” she asked.

“I can’t say what the good admiral’s agenda is. Perhaps he was given false information,” he said simply, but Brackett could see his eyes twinkling in amusement. “Or, perhaps he just knew you would run here to me.”

“You’re not concerned?” she asked

“No. The package is at the border already. And, I think this would be a good time for you to visit our friend Dimitri.”

“You want me to go to Moscow?”

“No, I want you to see Dimitri,” he answered.

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, Claire….if your father is expecting you to provide a pathway…”

Claire Brackett’s frustrated reply came swiftly. “You think he is using me?”

The man shrugged. “You don’t?” He watched her expression harden. “You have used him, yet you expect him to do less?” He shook his head. “Dimitri will be in London Tuesday. Meet him there. Meet Agent Anderson at the coffee shop Monday at noon. You’ll get the details there.”

“And then what?” she barked.

He smiled as he turned to take his leave. “Just follow the directives, Sparrow.”

The redheaded agent watched as the man walked across the large room and through a set of glass doors. “Follow,” she began to muse. “That’s not what I was raised to do,” she whispered to herself. “We’ll see who follows.”